I Will Disappear, Grand Duke

It was a very sunny day.  The surface of the lake, which she saw everyday, was more shiny today.

 Julia quietly walked around it as usual.

 Her hair fluttered lightly in the cool breeze from the forest.

 Crossing the bridge, stopping in a grassy field, she bent her knees slightly.

 She reached out and lightly touched the purple lavender flowers, and a fragrance drifted from the tip of her nose.

 Just as she was distracted by the flowers for a while, the sound of footsteps approached from afar.

 The moment Julia felt a presence and turned around, someone hugged her tightly.

 “… !”

 Surprised by the sudden approach, Julia opened her eyes wide.

A body large enough to cover all of her. They were solid arms. Fernan.

 Julia couldn't open her mouth for a while due to the sudden situation. The man holding her tightly didn't say anything either.

 Julia, who had been in his arms for a while, suddenly came to her senses.

 As she raised her hand and gently pushed his chest away, his familiar voice landed in her ear.

 “… just a little longer."

 Her arms that held her grew even stronger.

 “Just for a moment….don't push me away.”

 At the sound of his trembling voice, Julia stopped her movements.

 She could hear his irregular heartbeat from his chest.

  “….  Why are you doing this?”

 Julia, who had been quiet for a while, opened her mouth.  She intended to speak coldly, but it was a voice full of embarrassment that came out.

 Fernan left for the capital three days ago, so she thought maybe he would be away for a week. So she couldn't help but be embarrassed by this man who came back so quickly and hugged her so suddenly.

 As Julia tried to raise her head, Fernan’s firm hand wrapped the back of her head slightly, and she stopped her movement.

 Julia, who had her face still in his arms, closed her eyes as she let it be.

 Fernan looked at Julia, who was completely in his arms.

 A soft body with the heartbeat transmitted from the body to which they were facing each other.  A shallow but clear breath.

 Suddenly, Julia in his arms felt like a fantasy.

 Her light hair shimmered in the sunlight.  He lowered his head and buried his face in her hair. She had the scent of spring.

 "Your Highness."

 Julia pushed his body again.  Fernan, who had not yet moved, relaxed his arms.

 However, the hands wrapped around her back, preventing her from moving further away, loosen.

 Thanks to the gap, Julia raised her head, and there was a look of wonder in her eyes.

 Because Fernan’s appearance was unusual.

 As she was wondering, Fernan reached out to her face. Her pale cheeks were completely wrapped in his large hands.

 His eyes contained many words.  Awkward words lingered in his mouth, but only a single word came out.

 “… Sorry."

At the apology that he quietly spat out, Julia had a confused look on her face.

Fernan looked up at her as he bowed his head slightly.

 A young girl who held his hand a long time ago was painted over Julia.

 At the same time, a warm and beautiful season, warmer than ever, hung behind her.

 He was suddenly blinded. He couldn't see her properly, and he lowered his gaze again.

 He had so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t utter a single word.  Even though he couldn’t express all these feelings with just a single word ‘sorry’.

 In the end, Fernan swallowed all the words that filled his heart and bowed his head.

 Julia looked up at him with her dazed eyes.

 Even though she couldn't make eye contact with him, she didn't pull her hand away from his weak embrace.

***

 In the afternoon, Melissa, who was making the bed, stared intently at Julia, who was sitting at her table.

 Her book, which she opened, stayed on the same page for an hour.

Melissa tried to talk to her, but she seemed to be deep in thought.

 ‘What should I do?’

 Melissa bit her lip with her nervous look.  Just today, at Julia's request, Melissa was on her way to deliver her letter.

 But in the process, she heard a shocking story.

“You can't send letters to the Holy Kingdom. Don't you know?  There's been a war there for months.”

 That was, the Holy Land that Julia had been living in was at war.

 But Julia didn't seem to know this. Perhaps that was why she wanted to send her letter there.

 While Melissa was busy cleaning the bedding, she agonized over and over whether she should let Julia know.

 No one had informed her of this; perhaps there was a good reason.

 While Melissa was anxious, Julia was looking dazed as if she was far away.

 In her head, the face of Fernan which she saw during the day continued to be drawn. She didn't want to think about it, but she remembered.

 It was unfamiliar. It was strange to see him with a face she had never seen before. Julia, who muttered quietly, turned to the next page.

 Meanwhile, Melissa, who finished organizing the bedding, spoke to her.

 “Your Grace, I changed to light bedding in time for spring.”

 “Yes, thank you.”

 “And…"

 Julia glanced at Melissa, whose words were blurred as if she wanted to say something.

 "What's wrong?"

 Melissa bit her lips, looking at Julia’s gentle gaze.

 “Oh, no. It’s nothing."

 Melissa, who tried hard to lift her, shook her head.

These days, Julia's heart was not at ease. But if she found out that there was a war in the place where she used to live, she might be hurting even more from worrying.

 Melissa, who had come to the conclusion, nodded her head.

 “Your Grace, then have a good night. Call me anytime if you need anything."

 “Yes, good night.”

 Melissa nodded and slowly left the bedroom.

The door closed, and then Julia looked down to focus on her book again. But again, the words did not catch her eye.

 Eventually, she closed her book, got up, and approached the window. The door swung open and the night breeze blew in.

Julia knew well that this feeling she felt was never right for this situation.

 She thought about Fernan’s behavior and somehow her heart seemed to shake.

Then she needed to remind herself again. She knew she didn't come here because she wanted to.

 That Fernan was preventing her from going back to where she was.

 Other than that, of course, he didn't force her. He was also showing an unusual attitude unlike before.

 But that didn't mean she could justify the situation.

 She had already crossed a long way to accept him, who said sorry and regret.

 "Yes.”

 After organizing her confusion, Julia closed the window. Her expression instantly became determined.

 ***

 Around morning, there was someone who visited Fernan’s bedroom.

While buttoning his cuff, Fernan approached the door and opened it, thinking it was one of his lieutenants who came to deliver a report. 

 But, surprisingly, Julia was standing in front of the door.

 It was the first time she had come to see him since she came here.

 Fernan, whose eye widened for a moment in surprise, looked at Julia in front of him.

 "Your Highness."

 Julia, who faced him with an expressionless face, quietly opened her mouth.

 “I want to go out.”

 It sounded like she was asking for his permission. When he lowered his gaze a little further, Julia was already dressed in her outdoor clothes.

 While Fernan was speechless for a moment, Julia spoke again.

 “You said I could go anywhere.”

 At those words, Fernan captured the belated gaze. Then came a late reply.

 "Okay."

 It was also the first time that Julia said she wanted to do something, so at this moment, he felt an indescribable joy.

 Of course, she could go anywhere.

 "…Will you not allow me to go out alone?"

 The blue eyes turned towards him.

 Fernan looked away from her for a moment, and then he made eye contact with her again.

 He wanted to give her everything she wanted, but it was still difficult for him to let her go alone.

 “It is dangerous to be alone. Your identity is not yet known to the Empire.”

 “…  ”

 “Come with me.”

 When Julia lowered her head without answering, Fernan hurriedly added.

 “It doesn’t matter if you think of me as an escort, I won’t disturb you.”

 With those words, Julia looked up at him with her puzzled face.  Thinking of him as an escort seems a bit strange.

 But then, without saying anything else, she gently nodded.

 “Yes, then I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

 Julia took a step back from the door and turned around.

 Seeing her slowly disappearing beyond the hallway, Fernan's eyes began to shake again.