I Was Sick of Loving You

22 – She has changed with the terrible perfume

I look out the window from the guest room Iris gave me.

I can see the cold looking castle wall in the distance, the garden where no one visits, and the gymnasium where I often spent time. Seeing the unchanging scenery always makes me feel strange.

I put away the unchanging scenery and look up at the night sky. The stars were shy and hid behind the clouds, and the moon floating alone looks especially bright today. The moon looked bright, and I wanted to shake off my strange feeling, so I stepped outside.

I walk around the garden I saw through the window. No one visits now, so the garden with no reason for existence looks lonely. As I walk through that lonely garden, a thick perfume rushes in.

When my children were little, I feel a strong sense of nostalgia in the garden where I and the children visited every day. The nostalgia is so strong that you can hear the laughter of children. I want to hear more of that lovely sound, but I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear a voice I can’t hear.

Cover your ears. Even if you cover your ears, the sound of children’s laughter comes in.

The strange feeling grows because of that laugh.

In order to escape that strange feeling, I run away from here.

The footsteps that ran away headed for the gymnasium.

I walk through a silent gymnasium with no one around.

As I walked through the gymnasium, which I used to come to every day in my previous life, the wooden swords placed on one side caught my eye. Looking at the wooden sword, I avert my eyes as I feel the nostalgia will rush in again.

I avert my eyes, but the perfume is already calmly pushing in.

Wrong. I tried to get away from the strange feeling, but there was no place where I couldn’t feel nostalgia here.

Recognizing that, I return to my room.

I returned to my room, but the perfume didn’t go away.

I don’t think I can erase the terrible nostalgia by myself. I need a drink.

Thinking so, I waved the bell that called the attendant.

After a while, a knock is heard and the door opens.

“Did you call?”

An all-too-familiar voice ripples through my mind.

In front of my eyes, I see a middle-aged man with half-gray black hair tied back and a neat mustache. Although younger than I remember, the image of a close friend who is so familiar makes my heart flutter.

I forcibly ignore my fluctuating heart and open my mouth.

“I can’t sleep, so could you bring me a drink? I would like you to bring two glasses.”

“I will bring it to you right away.”

The old friend bows slightly and goes back. As I watched it, I lost my strength and sat down.

I tried to forget the terrible perfume, but an unforgettable perfume appeared in front of my eyes.

My exclusive butler who assisted me in this place where everything was unfamiliar, and my close friend, one of the few in this cold castle. Hans…

Seeing my friend’s youthful appearance, meeting him who left before me, the nostalgia I wanted to get rid of completely swallows me up.

Swallowed with a terrible nostalgia, I wait for him.

After a while, he returned with a drink. I call him who puts the drink he brought in front of me.

“Is there anything I need to do?”

“There is not.”

“Then, can you talk for a moment and listen to my complaint?”

“That’s about it, of course I’ll do it.”

I thought that he who likes to drink wouldn’t lose it, and I’m glad he turned out the way he thought.

Thinking of that, I fill a glass and pass it to him.

After receiving the glass, he bumps the glass once and inhales the perfume along with the alcohol.

Every day that was exhausting and exhausting, I drank with him like this, talked, and brushed off a little of the hard things.

I fill up my glass while looking at my friend who has been my strength.

There are many things I want to say to him in front of me. I want to vomit everything that happened to me like the old days. But it can’t be. I could do it, but it doesn’t make any sense.

You will feel a sense of distance from him who has a different time gap. Throwing it up won’t make it any easier. So swallow what you want to say and drink.

By the time I ran out of alcohol, I wanted to spit out the words I wanted to say, even if he didn’t understand.

“Thank you. Thanks to you… I gained strength.”

“I’m glad if that’s the case.”

My close friend laughed at my incoherent words and emptied the last glass.

“I’m out of wine, so I’ll bring some more.”

“No. This is enough, so stop going.”

“All right. Have a good night.”

“Have a good night to you too.”

After the back of his friend with an empty bottle and glass disappears, he says the words he couldn’t say.

“Thanks to you, I was able to adapt to this cold place. But looking back, I couldn’t do anything for you… I’m sorry. Because it was a close friend who only threw up hard things every day, a close friend who couldn’t even protect her on her deathbed… I’m sorry. Thank you.”

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Living in the future alone, looking at the past and spitting out unspoken words is strange, and the person who should be listening hasn’t heard it, but still… I feel a little strange.

In the nostalgia that is completely immersed, I chew on the future that did not happen. After chewing again and again, I realize that there were more happy things than I thought.

The more I think about those happy things, the more I want to see my close friends who I let go first. I miss the children.

As I am thinking those thoughts in my nostalgia, I hear a knock.

“Are you awake?”

I hear the voice of a woman who was my greatest happiness and my greatest pain. I thought about that voice for a while. Thinking about it, if it wasn’t now, if it wasn’t now, if it wasn’t now, when I was immersed in nostalgia, I wouldn’t be able to face her properly, so I replied.

“You can come in.”

She, slightly dressed, opens the door and enters. Along with the discomfort, my heart beats when I think of her as a newlywed.

“Sorry to find you at night. Still, I came because I had a story I wanted to tell. By the way, have you had any alcohol?”

“I drank a little because I couldn’t sleep.”

Sensitive, she sniffed the alcohol, slightly frowned, then returned to her original expression. Then he sits in the seat in front of me.

“You seem to like alcohol a lot. I guess you can have a drinking party with your father later.”

The words reminded me of the old father-in-law who didn’t say anything and didn’t even have a look, and I immediately put it out of my head. I don’t want to drink with someone like that.

“There will be no such thing. What else can you say?”

“It’s getting late, so let’s get to the point. I plan to go with you from tomorrow.”

“What do you mean by that? We plan to leave tomorrow.”

“I know. That’s what I said.”

I don’t know what you’re thinking, but it’s not good. I don’t have the confidence to go with her. Every time I see her, I’m ready to push her away, but I can’t believe I’m infinitely weaker from her. have to drop When I thought so and tried to open my mouth, she opened it first.

“You are going to do something related to Kyan. Isn’t it?”

Kaian’s name came out of her mouth, and she closed her mouth again. It doesn’t matter if she knows Kai’an. It is said that the records have been erased, but it is not strange to know that the first owner was an apostle of Kai’an. But. Looking at me, I can’t understand why Kai’an’s name came out.

While thinking so, she continues the story.

“Looking at the lack of words, it seems similar or correct. I don’t know if you know it, but the first patriarch was an apostle of Kai’an. Thanks to that, several records remain. For example, the story of the Dark Elves serving Kai’an.”

Seeing Rachel, she was already half-sure. It’s the worst. I can’t see any way out

Seeing no escape, I bite my innocent lips.

“My family doesn’t serve Kai’an now, but as descendants of Kai’an’s former apostles, I think it’s necessary to accompany him as the protector of the North. So, you have no right to refuse.”

She laughs and gets up from her seat.

“Then tell your colleagues at breakfast tomorrow. Then have a good night.”

After saying that, I open the door and leave. As I stare blankly at the spot, she returns again.

“I came back because I didn’t tell you something important. Don’t even think about running away. Wherever you go, you cannot escape from me.”

After saying that, I went back. Thinking about it makes me laugh.

In the previous life, it was the role that I was pulling to death, but now she is pulling it.

Even though I hate it, I liked it, and it makes me think of useless thoughts.

If, really if… If there hadn’t been a curse on her in the last life, would we have lived happily ever after? Did you live whispering love to each other every day?

I don’t know. I don’t know because it’s so useless and it couldn’t have happened. But, can it be achieved in this life?

Because of her appearance that doesn’t adapt, I’m looking forward to it again. I will dream again

I don’t know if this is a good thing or if it will bring more pain, but my already foolish heart is starting to tilt.

I thought I would spend the night soaked in nostalgia today… but she, who has changed so much, shook me up, so I couldn’t.

I fall asleep thinking of her, who makes me feel uncomfortable and hopeful.