chapter 93
93
49. The True “Caged Girl”
The group sways on the train heading to the pool.
It’s summer vacation, so the train is bustling with students.
“Yaaawn…”
“Looking sleepy, Emi?”
“I couldn’t sleep… I was too excited.”
“What are you, a kid?”
“I’m still in middle school…”
The always disciplined Emi looked like she had a tough night without sleep.
And she wasn’t even wearing her trademark twin tails, her hair completely let down.
“If it weren’t for the mole under your eye, I might not have recognized you as Emi.”
“That’s rudeeee.”
“Hidetoyo judges people by their hair! He once said he judges me by this hair tie,” she retorted.
“That’s obviously a joke…”
Pointing to the hair tie on the coffee cup with an air of self-satisfaction.
I still felt nostalgic about the joke we shared when we first met in middle school.
“Ah, don’t worry! Don’t mind it… I just had a bad dream, that’s all…”
“Understood…”
It seems that Emi often has bad dreams, so I think it might have been a coincidence that yesterday’s events overlapped with today’s.
“…Why do I always have to go through this?”
Emi muttered softly, and I felt like I’d taken a blow to my mental state.
Wouldn’t it be better if there was nothing at all…?
―――――
“Ugh, this is annoying…”
“!?”
Sakuya, the woman I first met, grabbed my right hand and tried to choke me.
She struggled and moved her body around, trying to resist.
But it was getting in the way too much.
“Shut up for a bit.”
“Gaah!?”
I punched her cheek with my left fist, face-to-face.
After one hit, blood began to flow from her nose, and she was also crying.
“I’m sorry, this is for Hidetaka’s sake too.”
“Help… me…”
“Ah, haha…”
I can do anything for Hidetaka’s sake.
I continued to punch her repeatedly with my fists.
“To the extent of silencing and not killing,” I followed his order faithfully and left her covered in blood.
I dragged her to Hidetaka’s house.
As expected, Sakuya’s father, who had been threatening Hidetaka’s life every day, was playing with Hidetaka’s toys.
“Ah, Hidetaka, hello.”
“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you, Emi.”
Today, I will follow Hidetaka’s orders again.
I have no other path to live.
Even if it leads to hell, I am forced to comply.
“Sigh… I’m lonely without someone to cherish me…”
“Don’t worry, Hideyori-kun, I’m here for you.”
“Ah…”
I have no choice but to fawn over Hideyori-kun, to avoid upsetting him.
I must play the part of a convenient woman.
I kiss Hideyori-kun’s cheek to curry favor.
I feel nothing.
As a child, I dreamed of love dramas, never imagining they could leave one feeling so empty, despite their dramatic, moving, and romantic productions.
But thinking about it doesn’t change anything…
“I love you, Hideyori-kun…”
“Yeah, I love you too.”
Words forced upon me.
What does ‘love’ even mean?
Is it different from the love you feel for your father or mother?
…I don’t really understand.
“Oh my, Emi, you look so good in your uniform!”
“Do you think so?”
Praised by my parents for the first time in my middle school uniform.
Hmm… It’s the same as being praised by Hideyori-kun.
—I feel absolutely nothing.
“Emi, this meat and potatoes taste a bit bland.”
“Do you think so?”
“You should season it a bit more.”
Hideyori-kun complains about the cooking.
Even when I cook, I can’t tell the difference in taste.
Well, I can taste it, but I can’t distinguish it.
After all, my will doesn’t exist there, so there’s no feeling to be had.
“You look so adorably frightened, Sakuya-chan. Ufufu, it’s lovely how you can still give advice while scared, and even complain to me. I like girls like you. Shall we become friends?”
I had another chance to converse with Tanikawa Sakiya, whom I had tormented, and I approached her.
I don’t think she’s cute.
I don’t think she’s wonderful.
I don’t like her, or anything at all.
Friends or whatever, I don’t care.
Is my heart broken, or is it my mouth that spews trivial lies as easily as breathing…?
When will such days end? I’ve even stopped pondering that.
“…………!?”
Tanikawa Sakiya shook me off and fled in haste.
How nice, I wish I could escape from all this too.
I envied her free legs.
The fact that she and Hidetoshi-kun could run away immediately if they felt scared.
Why don’t I have that choice…?
So envious, so very envious.
“It’s okay, just a little longer. Just endure a few more days.”
“Emi… thank you… thank you.”
“I’ll listen to that after everything is over.”
I speak as if to encourage a girl trapped in a birdcage.
You can break the birdcage in just a few more days.
I’m envious.
I’m jealous.
“Hey, Emi, let’s go.”
“Yes.”
“Find out what time Miyamura’s father will be coming home this week.”
“Understood.”
How long will my life be a birdcage?
When will this nightmare end?
“Emi, we’ll always be together…”
“Yes…”
—The one truly trapped in a birdcage is me.
‘…………’
‘What the hell?! How could you?!……! What the hell, what the hell?!’
Miyamura Eternity was tearing her father’s stomach apart while covered in blood.
Even as blood stained her beautiful face, she was still tearing her heart out with a crazed expression.
Was she dead from blood loss or did she die from having her heart torn out?
It’s impossible for her to know the reason herself.
“……”
I had witnessed Miyamura Eternity’s crime from start to finish.
I was jealous.
You, who could shatter a birdcage with all your might, were truly envied.
Even the birdcage girl could claim to be a tragic heroine like you.
I also wanted to tear apart and kill Miyamura Eternity’s father, Shinchi Shuurai.
After committing the crime, Miyamura Eternity’s tension seemed to dissipate, and she lost consciousness.
Ah, your birdcage is gone now, isn’t it…….
“Lies……, lies, lies……? What’s this? A prank……? A dream……?”
“Reality”
“Ei Mi”?
“Don’t look away, Eternity killed her father”
Miyamura Eternity, who had just regained consciousness, was crying and screaming in disbelief.
I felt a strong sense of irritation at her appearance.
I hated this woman to the point of being consumed by jealousy.
Don’t look away.
You’ve destroyed the birdcage.
Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations!!
Why are you crying, having destroyed the birdcage by your own will?!
Can you switch roles with me?!
Why do I have to take on this role?!
Why do you blame yourself like a tragic heroine and look away?!
Accept it, accept it!
You’re just a fake birdcage girl!!