I Was Confessed to by the Golden Sun

29 – 29. Because I Kind of Like You

“Oh, come on, calm down. I was just caught up in the moment, I didn’t do it on purpose.”

Lucia laughed cheerfully beside me, making excuses that didn’t really cut it.

Seeing her lick her lips several times while trying to comfort my sulking self, it seemed like she had every intention of teasing me.

Yeah, the truth is, I was annoyed again. This time, I was really annoyed.

“Honestly, isn’t this crossing the line?”

Getting close, being affectionate, that’s something I can tolerate to some extent.

But forcibly taking a kiss is a kind of crime, when you think about it.

Maybe you could say I’m lucky because it ended with just a simple kiss, but…

Still, it’s a bit…

To begin with, the phrase “lucky” in the context of s*xual harassment is debatable.

“But honestly, you liked it too, didn’t you? At first, you looked like you were about to die, but I wanted to do it again…”

“Hush! Be quiet!”

Well, I mean… yeah. It can’t be helped.

This was my first kiss, so it’s not wrong to feel excitement about a first kiss, is it?

Even though I deny it because it would be a big problem if it eventually turns out to be a pleasant experience amidst all the accusations of s*xual harassment.

No matter what, it was my first kiss, and the atmosphere had become quite unusual, so at that moment, my rationality went out the window.

“I didn’t feel bad, but I don’t like it when you just kiss me like this.”

Isn’t this enough evidence to cover up the little excitement I felt?

So, after calming my emotions once again, I looked at Lucia with a peaceful gaze.

“If you’re mad… well… do you want me to touch your chest?”

Lucia couldn’t hold back and made another bombshell statement.

If you drop one, the next attack is on its way; there’s no room to catch a breath.

‘Why do you keep spouting embarrassing or highly questionable things in front of others…’

Continuing to stare at her in silence, Lucia seemed to interpret it as tacit approval and started unbuttoning her top, one button at a time.

“Go ahead, touch as you wish…”

“Please stop talking nonsense.”

That’s how I began to gently trace the edges of her open neckline once again.

Lucia gazed at me quietly and then placed her hand on my head, softly caressing it as she spoke.

“Right, you’re good. Kind.”

“What am I, a dog? Are you praising me while patting my head?”

“Listening well and protecting the one you love, it’s the same, isn’t it?”

Almost unconsciously agreeing, I shook my head vigorously.

Saying that I love Lucia is ridiculous. I might admit to liking her to some extent, but that doesn’t necessarily lead to love. If it’s love, I think it requires a deeper and more tightly bound connection.

‘Our relationship… it’s not that deep.’

Of course, right now, we’re in a vague state between more than friends but less than lovers.

If you were to ask if this kind of relationship would evolve into a romantic one, I would answer no.

After all, a relationship like this, burning fiercely like a one-night stand, is prone to breaking, and even if it’s not that kind of relationship, it’s still uncertain whether I would accept Kyeum Taeyang.

“If I were to clarify, I do not love Lucia.”

“Th… That’s right.”

Lucia, who had been all excited, was abruptly cut off by my words, as if I were severing a thread.

Maybe her reaction reminded me of a cute rabbit with its ears flattened.

“…Not yet.”

Unintentionally, I found myself leaving room for ambiguity in my words.

What’s even more annoying is that I inexplicably thought Lucia blushing at my words was cute.

Lately, it seems like I’m inclined to think of Lucia as cute for no apparent reason.

“Am I under some kind of spell?”

I already knew that no one in the novel I possessed had such an ability.

Even though I rationally knew there was no way I’d suddenly fall for someone, I couldn’t help but make up excuses and entertain that thought as I acted strangely.

“Let me say it again, I am also a man. Please be careful.”

After buttoning up Lucia’s unbuttoned buttons, I spoke firmly.

Lucia’s eyes lit up again, and she opened her mouth with a playful smile, as if to see the sincerity in my eyes.

“Alright, I got it, but…”

She hesitated like that, then took hold of my tie and pulled it slightly.

For her, holding my tie and giving a bit of a flirty comment seemed to be not optional but essential.

“You don’t do that with other men, just with you.”

It still made my heart race for no reason. It’s a messed-up world.

“Don’t say things like that. I…”

I tried to continue with my words, but my voice wouldn’t come out as if something was blocking it in my throat.

It felt like my mouth was refusing to say what my mind had thought.

“Me, what?”

I should definitely say that I don’t like her. I have to. But as I tried to say it, my body felt like it was getting entangled in lies.

It felt like my vocal cords had been blocked for a while.

“Sigh…”

I gave up on trying to convince her like that and started drinking water from my bag.

It was an act to relieve my frustration, but it seemed to have little meaning.

“What are you doing?”

Perhaps, it might be because of Lucía, who has her hand on my water bottle, that I keep feeling uneasy.

Lucía suddenly rushes over to sit next to me and places her hand on my water bottle, exclaiming, “Wow!” as if she finds it fascinating.

…Is there something remarkable about drinking water? It feels like I’ve become an animal in a zoo, getting cheered for no reason.

“Men twist their necks like this when they drink… it’s amazing…”

Lucía mutters in amazement as she compares her water bottle to mine.

There are indeed many fascinating things.

I push her hand away as I take a deep breath. She then naturally sits on my lap and starts tapping her head against my chest.

“Why do you do this, really, it’s awkward…”

Just as she’s about to approach me again, a pattern of me rejecting her advances.

“Jack, you know.”

Lucía’s hushed words reach my ears.

Judging by her tone and the tone of her voice, it doesn’t seem like the playful teasing she’s been doing so far. It appears that she’s about to have a serious conversation.

I listen intently, and she hesitates before closing her eyes tightly and asking, as if pouring her heart out.

“Um… do you really dislike me, or… find me repulsive?”

Her demeanor reveals a subtle vulnerability, like the whimpering of a neglected stray dog. Hearing that voice, so similar to the past, I couldn’t help but feel sorry.

“It’s not like that. It’s just… a bit sudden.”

I confessed the sincerity I had been trying to hide to her in her current state.

It was just a comforting word, but…

“hehehe… really? Is that so? So you don’t dislike me now?”

With that alone, Lucía seemed delighted, her arms fluttering as she pressed her face even harder against my chest.

The friction in the chest area was strong enough to produce a little smoke, and I felt like I might as well tell her a story from the past for a moment.

‘For the current Lucía, it’s probably poison.’

It’s a common phrase, but it’s enough to hurt her, so I just laughed it off.

I gently brushed Lucía’s smooth hair and pulled her closer to me.

Now, there’s no more room for doubt.

‘After being so persistent, she finally succeeded.’

I feel like I’ve been captivated by Lucia.

To the point where I can’t resist or rise again, it’s very miserable, making a ‘whirring’ sound.

But how should I explain this? It’s not that relationships are only determined by liking someone.

The story between me and Lucia cannot end cleanly with the emotion called love.

“That’s why I like her, but I have to push her away.”

I briefly recall the day my mother died, pulling out the memories I tried so hard to forget.

I’m still mentally trapped in the past, abandoning the present like an idiot.

This was like a small promise I sent to my future self during those difficult times.

“Even though it’s a distant memory, I can’t let go of it.”

A person who cannot fully escape the ghosts of the past. That was me.

Even though I spent 10 years on Earth and 8 years in this world without properly taking care of myself, I am still stuck in that period.

I probably don’t deserve to be loved or to love anyone.

Moreover, if the reason I can’t let go of the past is due to the twisted love intertwined with it, then even more so.

“Lucia.”

So, I shouldn’t give any false hope and should cut off the relationship coldly.

It’s not possible to create someone who lives the same day as me.

“Hmm? Why?”

When I see Lucia sitting on my lap and tilting her head, my heart weakens.

She doesn’t seem like a bad person at heart, so maybe I should treat her a little more gently.

To someone with principles, emotions are like poison.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Am I that pretty?”

A desire to see her continue smiling like that sprouted within me.

No matter what I’ve been through in the past, no matter what Lucia has done, I want to throw it all away and hold her.

Is that why? Against my will, my hand was still reaching up to stroke her head.

Sitting on my lap, burying her head in my chest and receiving my caresses—like a posture that lovers would have.

Was it because of overflowing happiness, or was it simply because she was too adorable in front of me in this state?

“Even though I don’t love you yet..”

My mouth could no longer act according to rational judgment.

It was as if someone forcibly twisted my vocal cords and manipulated them.

The words in my heart came out without any filter.

“I kinda like it.”

I realized this was a confession-like word, some time after that.