NOVEL NEXT chapter 23
23 – 4.5 Hell Instructor-Faverde(3)-Meaning.
I saw a child in the ruined village.
‘Can I… Be like you?’
She said with a smile on her lips.
‘Of course.’
If only I knew that would be the last.
.
“I don’t think it’s strange.”
It was really strange.
“These are precious people.”
Dyers did not avert her eyes as he looked at her.
Faverde also stared at him.
He was a trainee who was clumsy in comforting like a fool.
She thinks Dyers is that kind of person.
Look at those red ears. Isn’t it cute?
Maybe that’s why I hit the wall even more.
Meeting is instant, but parting is sooner or later…
“Poohup. Consolation is clumsy. Trainee A.”
Faverde smiled cheerfully as usual and stroked his hair for the first time.
Ah, at this point, I should hate it and avoid it.
He was just staring at himself.
As if there is a story you want to hear.
Guessing, Faberde sat down.
“This isn’t going to be very interesting. Do you still want to hear it?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a bad trainee.”
Faverde started talking with a hearty laugh.
Something I wouldn’t normally have said came out.
Is it because I’m drunk with the atmosphere? Is it because of low loneliness?
Because he’s a person who will soon disappear anyway. It wouldn’t be bad to open up.
She continued.
A childhood that was ignored.
His appointment as the youngest captain.
Rescuing a child with her colleagues.
Together to stop the corps commander.
And…
“Everybody died before me. Because of me.”
“……”
“No comrades wanted to run away, but I said I had to fight for my country to the end. I shouldn’t have.”
Faverde finished the story with a hollow laugh.
Even after she finished talking, the trainee’s expression remained the same. He was a very unpleasant trainee.
“…Say something.”
I tried to put on the same expression as usual to lighten up the heavy atmosphere, but he was still expressionless.
Faverde was slightly upset.
However, showing emotions in front of trainees was disqualified as an instructor.
She continued.
“Trainee A. If someone forces you to go to war for justice, run away immediately. Be it your family or your country. Always think of yourself first if you don’t want to die meaninglessly.”
“If there is a dangerous situation, run away unconditionally.”
“There is no hypocrisy as disgusting as justice.”
She closed her eyes.
There is no such thing as justice. There are only results.
There is a foolish man who has gone mad over petty justice and has not seen his comrades.
As a trainee, I hope I don’t become such an idiot.
After she finished speaking, Faberde poured alcohol on her grave.
Then he, who had been expressionless all along, opened his mouth as he looked at the grave.
“He didn’t die pointlessly.”
“…What?”
“I didn’t die because of you.”
The people he was talking about were obviously her colleagues.
Faberde, who stiffened for a moment, said with an expression she didn’t normally see.
“Trainee A. Don’t cross the line.”
I don’t know what you know and talk like that.
Faverde was angry.
Obviously, even though he knew he was saying this to comfort himself.
On that day, he remembered that he had caused the death of his comrade by mistake.
I was angry at him for talking casually.
Despite her initial anger, Dyers continued with a calm expression.
“Your surprise maneuvers in the Battle of the Great Plains of Rosten were excellent. Thanks to you, the Empire was able to survive.”
“……”
It was a battle whose name has now faded.
I don’t know why he knows exactly about such a battle and not himself.
But that doesn’t change the fact that his own comrades died unnamed.
As I was self-deprecating like that, I heard names I missed before I knew it.
“Eshil, Tour, Reina, Berin, Irene.”
Her pupils widened.
The tombstone clearly did not have a name written on it.
“It’s not meaningless. The world remembers your comrades as heroes.”
“Ha ha…”
Faverde laughed weakly.
.
She bowed her head towards her grave.
Until now, she has been a strict but energetic instructor.
She didn’t want to see her dead so far.
“Still, it doesn’t change the fact that he died because of me.”
Once again. She doesn’t mind cursing herself.
It must have been painful.
I must have blamed myself for the rest of my life alone in this cold, empty field.
I shouldn’t have done that. She must have repeated herself countless times that she should have fled with her comrades rather than fight.
I don’t know how painful Faberde must have been.
Because there is no right answer in her life.
Because everyone has their own life.
Then the only answer to her life is her choice.
I do not deny that answer.
Faverde laughed weakly.
It was a laugh that seemed artificial, like the usual big laugh.
With that smile, I grabbed her hand.
“Hmm? What are you doing. Inappropriate physical contact between a man and a woman…”
“Close your eyes for a moment.”
“…Why?”
“Because I have to.”
She looked at me suspiciously and then closed her eyes.
She didn’t forget to warn that if you do something useless, you will be beaten.
For the past two months, she has not neglected to practice [Ghost Communion].
“[Ghost Communion-Retrograde].”
The haze of spirits is gathering.
In this world of images, the only ‘humans’, including her soul, existed only with her and me.
When she was alive, she shows the spirits by her side in reverse order.
In other words, it brings back the image of a ghost from the past, not the real one.
That’s why it’s retrograde.
“Open your eyes again.”
“I won’t let you go if you play weird pranks,”
The movement of Faberde, who shared my vision, stopped for an instant.
Her eyes widened.
“……How.”
.
“Captain!”
The souls of the comrades you thought you’d never see again are now in front of your eyes.
“Ah…”
The figure in front of my eyes now was my past self when I was still alive.
She has the spirits of her companions by her side like that of her own.
While she was alive, she did not hear the words of the dead.
There was something I couldn’t reach.
There was something I couldn’t say.
“It was such an honor to be with you, Captain.”
“Captain! After all, we can’t go out with a guy at all. Still, it’s not a bad life!”
“Captain, would you like to take a look over there? Those are all the people we saved~”
“Hey. We’re dead. How does the captain hear that?”
“Right!”
“……”
“Captain.
“Meet a lot of men too! Let’s take a look at 10 kids!”
“I won’t be able to watch it until the end because it’s low. Let’s go, kids.”
“Go with me you b*tches!”
“Everyone will remember us, right? He was a f*cking soldier!”
“……”
The spirits of my comrades have disappeared.
These are the appearances of her spirits when she was alive, so it’s just the past.
“I…”
I couldn’t forgive him. The one who put his comrades to death for the sake of that country.
“I was afraid.”
I was afraid. Because he knew that his departed colleagues would resent him.
Because I thought he died meaninglessly because of me.
Thousands of souls passed, and finally only one little girl’s soul remained in front of her.
It was the spirit that had been around her the longest.
The soul of a little girl.
It was also the first life she had saved.
“Sister.”
“…Yes.”
The little girl said she definitely wanted to be like him.
Even though she knew that what was in front of her eyes was the past, Faberde answered the words of the spirit.
I couldn’t stand it otherwise.
The spirit of a small child gradually approached Faberde.
She too moved her steps toward her soul.
“Thank you…”
The girl gave Faberde a tight hug.
“Thank you so much for saving me…”
“Ah…”
Faberde just stood still and looked straight ahead of her.
She didn’t recognize the girl’s hug before she was alive, but now she knows it.
“It wasn’t in vain.”
Dyers did not let go of her hand.
“That’s what I wanted to save.”
Yes, I wanted to save it.
I wanted to save a country that was persecuted by demons. I wanted to protect the children who had nothing to eat during the war.
I wanted to save my colleagues who were like family with whom I had gone through life and death.
Even so, she couldn’t ask for anything because she was so resentful of herself. She considered being locked up alone in this world as punishment.
He was destroying himself because he seemed to be the reason people left.
“It’s not meaningless.”
The trainee repeated the same words again.
With a confident tone, Faberde turned her head to look at him.
He placed his hand on her cold hand.
“I will remember the people you and your companions protected.”
It was a strange thing.
“I will never forget that everyone you saved thanked you.”
Being trapped in this world must have been a punishment.
“Because he worked harder than anyone else to save others.”
Why am I being comforted so much?
I tried to say something, but I was choked up and the words didn’t come out.
“Doesn’t Master have something to say?”
The girl’s soul has not yet disappeared.
She desperately stayed by her side.
Looking at such a girl, Faberde’s mouth finally fell.
“I’m sorry I found out so late…”
A sweet rain has finally come down on the land that has been dry and twisted for decades.
The water-soaked earth was finally able to sprout.
Of course, the girl’s soul was in the past and not here, but
“Hee hee.”
The girl smiled innocently as if satisfied and disappeared.
The haze of spirits scattered and returned to nothingness.
It didn’t rain, but it rained incessantly.
I cried endlessly while lying on my stomach.