I Took the Heroine’s First Time in a Romance Fantasy Novel

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Her voice, asking to visit the Topaz Palace, was heavily subdued, yet it trembled underneath.

The silence while waiting for Johan’s response only tightened her chest further.

“Is there something you need to discuss separately?”

Johan tilted his head, unsure of what Rudella was really feeling. There was no particular reason for it…

“Well, um, you risked your life to save me, and I’ve been feeling uneasy about not repaying you. How about coming to the Topaz Palace…?”

Rudella stuttered and fumbled with her words, her voice dwindling.

“Alright… I don’t have much going on besides training, anyway.”

As soon as he accepted, Rudella’s face lit up. She wanted to break into a big smile right then and there but held it back with all her might given the circumstances.

“Well then, I’ll guide you to the Topaz Palace.”

Rudella quickly turned around, her beautifully shiny silver hair framing her flushed cheeks.

“Understood.”

Johan adjusted his clothes and followed Rudella and her attendants.

It was quite a distance from the Imperial Palace, where she was staying, to the Topaz Palace.

As they passed through the glittering Imperial Palace, they soon came upon a grand garden bursting with flowers. Lilies bloomed everywhere.

Johan asked, “There seem to be an unusually large number of lilies in the garden. Do you like them?”

He had guessed she liked lilies based on the scent while they were together in the cave. They suited Rudella perfectly.

“Yes. I think they complement my pure white hair beautifully.”

Throughout their conversation, Rudella didn’t look at Johan. The rapid beating of her heart hadn’t settled yet.

“…But how did you know I take care of the garden?”

“Usually, the Empress or the Crown Princess manages this sort of thing.”

In noble life, maintaining the mansion’s garden and appearance was the lady’s duty. Johan didn’t know why but learned that along the way.

He thought, “It’s not a big deal,” and moved on.

“Hmm, indeed. Before becoming Crown Princess, I had to take various lessons, and the Empress gave me different tasks. Garden management was one of them.”

As their conversation continued, Rudella’s trembling subsided. Although looking at Johan would surely cause her heart to flutter again, she was just relieved to not appear strange while moving along.

“It must be tough for you, handling many official duties and minor tasks.”

“It’s not too exhausting. I’ve been used to this schedule since childhood.”

Johan’s worried tone made a small smile appear on Rudella’s lips.

She pondered why she was so easily swayed by his words but decided to not dwell on it.

She had resolved to enjoy this moment.

“We’ve arrived. This is the Topaz Palace.”

Johan looked up. It was astonishing, perhaps because it was the palace where the Crown Princess had lived?

Golden hues and soft crimson swirled about, and the intricate floral patterns engraved on the arched windows sparkled like jewels in the light.

Flowers bloomed all around the palace, and perhaps it was thanks to Rudella’s touch, the garden was filled with lilies. In the center, a large fountain gently spread water glistening in the sunlight.

“How do you find the Topaz Palace?”

Rudella turned back slightly to ask, wanting to gauge Johan’s expression. Though she couldn’t look directly at his face yet, she wanted to read his reaction.

“It’s magnificent. Do you live here all the time?”

“Yes. I’m not yet the Crown Princess, but I will be soon.”

Suddenly, Rudella’s body froze at her own words, realizing she had just said she would soon become the Crown Princess.

“I see. It’s as beautiful as the Lady Bismarck’s palace.”

Johan smiled gently as he spoke. His gaze was filled only with the Topaz Palace, but Rudella felt her breath catch.

Did he just say it was beautiful? Those words struck her heart like a dagger. She tried to say something but couldn’t utter a sound; her lips merely trembled.

“Are you not coming in?”

Johan tilted his head, looking puzzled. They stood there blankly outside the Topaz Palace.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought. Let’s go inside right away.”

Rudella smiled awkwardly and led Johan into the Topaz Palace.

Even though she was inviting a man who had saved her life, it didn’t seem strange at all to onlookers, given the justification of repaying his life-saving act.

Inside, the vintage furniture and topaz decorations beautifully reflected the dignity of the Crown Princess. Toward the back, her personal spaces, the reception room and study, added a serene tranquility with views of the garden outside the window.

“Please, have a seat.”

“Yes.”

Once guided to the reception room, Johan sank into a plush sofa. Its softness melted him into drowsiness.

‘The furniture is quite exquisite.’

It was comparable to the furniture in the Ferbache Mansion. No, it would be strange if it wasn’t; this was the Topaz Palace where the Crown Princess lived.

“Make yourself comfortable.”

“I’m quite comfortable.”

“Is that so…?”

Rudella looked about anxiously like a nervous puppy. She brought him along at random, not knowing when she’d see him again, but now that he was in front of her, she felt uncertain about what to do.

“By the way, it seems you’re practicing what I said.”

“What do you mean…?”

Johan chuckled lightly, surveying the reception room’s interior.

“Didn’t I tell you to take things easy? It’s nice to have someone over to chat and relax like this.”

“Is that so? So this is what taking it easy means…”

Rudella nodded seriously, realizing for the first time what that meant.

“If you only focus on work, exhaustion builds up, and with exhaustion comes stress. If you don’t manage it, it can lead to health issues.”

Johan’s advisory tone brought a small smile to Rudella’s lips. She was happy to hear anything from him. After all, it was all out of concern for her.

“I’ll be careful.”

After showing a brief smile, Rudella rang a bell positioned at the corner of the reception room table. In response, an attendant entered, bowing as if they had been waiting.

“Do you have a preferred type of tea?”

“As long as it’s not too sweet, I enjoy everything.”

“Understood.”

With a gesture from Rudella, the attendant left promptly.

Seeing how even this seemed so characteristic of Rudella, Johan couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“Was there something strange just now?”

“No, not at all. I just thought… it’s very much like the Lady Bismarck.”

“Like me…?”

Rudella tilted her head slightly, completely lost on his comment.

“The stern atmosphere and quick handling of tasks. Those two things seem to fit the Lady Bismarck quite well.”

At the mention of a stern atmosphere, Rudella cautiously inquired, “Am I that stern…?”

“I wouldn’t say you’re soft.”

“Hmm.”

Perhaps thinking it didn’t sound great, Rudella furrowed her brows while gently rubbing her chin. Even that gesture brimmed with beauty, causing Johan to avert his gaze.

“It’s not a bad thing. It simply reflects the traits of someone with both strengths and weaknesses.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely.”

“Oh.”

With her face filled with curiosity, Rudella nodded along. Being with him always felt unfamiliar. Perhaps it was because she was hearing so many words she was not used to.

At that moment, there were three knocks at the reception room door. When it opened, an attendant came in pushing a tea cart.

“Shall I serve the tea?”

The attendant expertly poured the steaming tea into cups placed in front of Rudella and Johan.

Rudella gestured, and once again, the attendant understood immediately and exited the room.

“It seems the attendants intuitively understand the Lady Bismarck’s signals.”

“They’ve spent time together with me since the Bismarck family days.”

She said that and raised the teacup to her nose, breathing in the aroma. The sweet floral scent mixed with the fragrance of lilies from Rudella enveloped Johan’s senses.

“By the way…”

“What is it?”

“Why can’t you seem to look me in the eye?”

“…”

As Johan tilted his head in confusion, Rudella turned away completely.

“Is my face that difficult to look at?”

“N-no, that’s not it…”

Rudella was overwhelmed by emotions she couldn’t control. Every time she looked at Johan’s face, her heart raced, and even a single glance from him sent her feelings into a whirlpool.

Craving, desire, restraint, and fear. The combination of these four emotions made Rudella fidget with her teacup.

“You seemed fine before going to Sanburgh.”

“…”

“You didn’t meet my gaze since we hid in the cave.”

“…”

Johan kept speaking, but Rudella merely nodded slightly, unable to respond. She couldn’t bring herself to answer…

Johan thought at that moment.

‘Could it be?’

As Francia had said, Rudella Bismarck could harbor feelings beyond mere fondness for him? There was some possibility, but…

‘That’s strange.’

She was to become the Crown Princess. That was an established structure from long ago, a goal that would not waver.

Yet, for that to collapse so fast and she to feel something beyond fondness? It seemed unbelievable. It didn’t make sense.

‘If that were true, it would make sense that what happened in the cave sparked these feelings.’

What had he done? He merely eased the atmosphere so that the person he was guarding wouldn’t feel uneasy and offered a small piece of advice to prevent Rudella Bismarck’s life from falling apart.

Women’s hearts are still a mystery…

“It’s getting late. I should take my leave.”

Not wanting to spend more time with Rudella, Johan checked his watch and stood up.

“Are you leaving already? I haven’t even repaid you yet…”

“One cup of tea is enough.”

Johan smiled gently. Rudella gulped again, swallowing her breath.

“No need to see me off. You must be busy too, Lady Bismarck. Thank you for today.”

“Wait—”

As he tried to leave, Rudella’s hand reached out to stop him but hung in the air. However, Johan cut through the moment and made his exit.

*

After Johan left, Rudella remained seated in the reception room for a long while.

The room was calm and warmed by a gentle glow, yet Rudella’s heart thumped wildly, mocking her.

Desires and cravings that she shouldn’t have been harboring were growing too strong to suppress.

It was an emotion she shouldn’t embrace, a longing she shouldn’t desire.

‘This is troublesome…’

Rudella pressed her hand to her forehead and shut her eyes tightly.

She had meant to enjoy a brief sweetness with him, but now that moment felt like she wanted it for a lifetime.

A breath-stealing smile.

Words and actions that made her heart race.

A genuine concern for her well-being.

There was nothing to dislike about any of it.

But that shouldn’t happen.

After all, he had a lover.

And she was to be the Crown Princess.

She could never become someone special to him.

Yet, for some unknown reason, she couldn’t suppress the inappropriate desires blooming deep within her heart.

Rudella placed her hand on her chest and took a deep breath. Despite that, the image of Johan’s smile from earlier lingered in her mind.

That smile was special, like the softly shining moonlight embedded in her thoughts, unyielding even when her eyes were closed.

The existence of Johan stirred ripples deep within her heart, leaving behind a significant tremor.

‘This is troubling…’

Rudella agonized over feelings she couldn’t control.