I Thought I Was The Main Character

Warning: Mention of poison and death.   

If anyone asked, ‘What kind of person is Aesvin?’ There was only one answer to which I would answer.

 

She was peculiar.

 

Yes, she was somehow different from the first meeting.

 

Since childhood, survival has been my top priority.

 

The existence of a young and powerless first prince of the empire was enough to be seen as a thorn in the eyes of others.

 

My father’s general secretary and Empress Isabelle were unhappy with my existence.

 

It has become blatantly worse since she gave birth to her son, Steven.

 

At first, it was a level of notice, but she moved on to act as I grew older.

 

When I was seven years old, I collapsed after taking poison for the first time.

 

Fortunately, I could survive, but it was shocking to me.

 

Even if I was careful, she repeatedly poisoned my food from time to time and managed to survive after collapsing.

 

It was fortunate that my indifferent father wasn’t directly cut off because he wouldn’t hurt me.

 

The more outspoken Empress Isabelle was, the more people around me disappeared.

 

When I was eight years old, I felt desperate.

 

“W-why–”

 

Even though I was somehow resistant to poison, blood rushed up to my throat.

 

It hurt my heart more than the burning pain in my stomach.

 

“I’m sorry, Prince. I’m sorry.”

 

It was abominable to see him crying and begging for forgiveness.

 

I believed him.

 

No, I was bound to believe.

 

Because he was the only family that stayed with me when everyone left.

 

The drink that my trusted uncle gave me was poisoned.

 

I collapsed with a terrible feeling and wished I could die like this.

 

I’d rather be glad it ended like this.

 

‘I don’t have to live desperately anymore.’

 

But I survived.

 

When I opened my eyes again and found out that I had lived, the emptiness was greater than the relief.

 

I wanted to ask who saved me and why he saved me.

 

I pressured the servant, and she said fortunately a woman who passed by saved me.

 

Her father had no choice but to step up at the child’s cry.

 

She did something useless.

 

I couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

 

Even my family has changed so much, who should I trust?

 

After that, I began to distance myself.

 

I didn’t even look for my benefactor, the father and daughter.

 

They would have saved me just by the whim of the moment.

 

No matter how much you looked around, there was no end to the vigilance.

 

Some people changed their minds and got caught while putting poison.

 

Some showed suspicious behavior and had to be expelled.

 

If there were any doubt, they would be sent out of the Prince Palace.

 

Like an empty palace, my heart became empty.

 

I thought about it every day, many times, countless times in the cold palace.

 

I’d rather be a child of an ordinary family.

 

No, I’d rather not have a family.

 

If so, would I have enjoyed my life?

 

Could I laugh and chat like other kids?

 

I felt like I would die of exhaustion, but at times I was lonely.

 

It seemed okay, but it was a dark night.

 

It was sad and scary to be alone in a gloomy palace.

 

The darkness seemed to devour up.

 

“It’s okay. I’m all right.”

 

At that time, I would bend my knees and hug them, constantly muttering to myself that I was okay and staying up all night.

 

Then it seemed a little better.

 

I didn’t know why I had to live, but I just lived with the goal of survival.

 

Then came the day when my life became special.

 

It was the day I realized Aesvin’s existence.

 

It was one day when I was 9 years old.

 

I attended a tea party held by Empress Isabelle every year.

 

This tea party was a boring time.

 

Everyone knew that it was a tea party held to further isolate and laugh at me.

 

Knowing all that, I couldn’t be pleased with the situation where I had to sit and be ridiculed.

 

“Prince Luciano, are you alone again this year?”

 

Empress Isabelle had the audacity to create a friendly face.

 

“Is there anyone out there who can get along with Prince Luciano? I’m very worried that the prince is so alone.”

 

An indescribable smile appeared on Empress Isabelle’s lips, who pretended to be concerned about me and insulted me.

 

‘Finding Prince Luciano’s playmates.’

 

I had expected it, and I had not experienced it once or twice, but misery came whenever I received the pitiful gaze from all the nobles.

 

It’s okay. The heart that I held on to was about to collapse.

 

It was disastrous to go through such a horrifying situation every time.

 

“Me!”

 

A clear voice broke through the silence.

 

A girl with dark reddish-brown eyes and bright hair that seemed to embrace the sky had very innocent eyes.

 

The girl smiled and shouted brightly.

 

“I’ll be the prince’s friend.”

 

The girl was so bright that I couldn’t recognize properly what she said.

 

It had been long since Empress Isabelle feared that no one would step into my business.

 

One girl could easily break the tacit silence.

 

“It’s Aesvin Samuel. Count Benjamin Samuel is my father.”

 

Aesvin Samuel.

 

Daughter of Count Samuel.

 

It was when the girl’s name was remembered in my mind.

 

Seeing her always answering in a bright voice, I thought she was a very unusual girl.

 

“I was taught to be friendly to my peers. Do I need a reason to be friends with someone? Didn’t everyone learn like me?”

 

Aesvin didn’t listen to Empress Isabelle’s warning and only smiled softly.

 

“Your Majesty, can I be friends with Prince Luciano?”

 

The foolish Aesvin who didn’t even know what everyone else was avoiding.

 

“Prince Luciano, let’s be close like Your Majesty had said!”

 

The moment I met her eyes and saw her brightly smiling face, I had no choice but to nod slowly.

 

At that time, I thought it was just a small incident.

 

It was just passing by at the tea party.

 

She came forward because she didn’t know what kind of situation Prince Luciano was in.

 

As Empress Isabelle said, it was out of pity for the prince, who seemed alone.

 

After she got home and listened to her parents, I thought she would draw her attention from me.

 

Or maybe her parents would stop her.

 

However, not long after the tea party, Aesvin came to visit.

 

“Hello, Prince Luciano,”

 

I was silent because it was an unexpected visit.

 

“You look great today.”

 

The moment I saw a bright Aesvin who naturally complimented me.

 

“Who said you could come?”

 

I instinctively felt that I had to stay away.

 

“Prince Luciano agreed to be close with me before.”

 

The child was in danger as she stepped closer.

 

“I didn’t say that it was okay to come rashly.”

 

I spoke coldly and deliberately pushed her away.

 

I left my seat, leaving her as it was.

 

I thought that such rude behavior would hurt her pride and give up on approaching me.

 

But her letter arrived.

 

I kicked him out for coming in without permission, and it was about making an appointment.

 

I didn’t reply to refuse.

 

After ignoring her several times, she sent me a selfish letter saying that if there were no reply, she would think of my silence as permission.

 

As soon as I read it, I couldn’t help but laugh.

 

But I couldn’t accept it, so I sent a reply of rejection.

 

Then the formal correspondence arrived immediately.

 

It was sent as soon as I checked the letter I had sent.

 

Aesvin repeatedly requested a visit, and I returned the refusal.

 

The modifier became more interesting, and I replied with a laugh.

 

Was it wrong to write to each other several times a day?

 

“Prince Luciano, with whom do you talk so interestingly?”

 

Empress Isabelle came as an unexpected visitor and greeted.

 

She was the one who had come to this desolate palace for a very long time.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“I hear something that worries me. I heard that the prince exchanged diligent correspondence with an outsider today. Who is he messing around with?”

 

I knew I was always under constant surveillance, but Empress Isabelle was shameless not to hide that.

 

“Messing around. There’s no such thing.”

 

“Really? So, who are you correspondence with in such a hurry?”

 

Empress Isabelle’s voice was sharp.

 

She isolated me like that.

 

Are you still so vigilant that I might create an outside force?

 

No one would take risks for me.

 

There was a possibility that problems might arise if it continued like this, so I told her honestly.

 

“That’s Aesvin Samuel.”

 

“Come to think of it, when she had been here the other day, you’ve been back in a minute. Do you want to get along with her?”

 

It was a word thrown to escape the situation, but Empress Isabelle expressed her curiosity in a different way.

 

“Isn’t she the friend whom the Empress gave me? I have to be polite.”

 

I meant that would I accept what you might have attached?

 

Empress Isabelle, who had been silent for a moment as she was thinking, smiled.

 

“Thank you for recognizing my efforts. Try to get along with her.”

 

Perhaps she realized that I had not done anything stupid, Empress Isabelle left with confidence.

 

Several letters on one side caught my eye.

 

The sender never dreamed of creating such a difficult situation.

 

It was really troublesome.

 

I thought it was dangerous to keep sending her correspondence, so I sent the last letter.

 

[Alright. I’ll allow you to visit tomorrow.]

 

* * *

 

“Hello, Prince Luciano.”

 

Aesvin greeted me with a surprisingly bright face every time.

 

“You–”

 

“Please call me Aesvin comfortably, Prince.”

 

And, even more surprisingly, she wasn’t afraid to approach me.

 

“Do you tend to hear that you’re not good enough?”

 

“No? I’ve heard a lot of people say I’m smart.”

 

When I asked straightforwardly, she answered strangely.

 

And the way she smiled was ridiculous.

 

I couldn’t help laughing when I heard something like that.

 

“Then, why can’t you understand what people say? I told you over and over again, but you just do it.”

 

I said it more harshly.

 

“I got it. I understood, but I pretended not to know because I wanted to meet the prince.”

 

I got a surprising answer.

 

‘What the–’

 

“Why?”

 

Why did you want to be friends with me?

 

Didn’t you hear about me when you got home?

 

“We-we’re supposed to be close!”

 

Didn’t you know it would be unreasonable to be with me?

 

Didn’t your parents stop you?

 

“So why should we be close?”

 

“I told you last time. I’m going to be close to everyone.”

 

Were you going to be friends with everyone?

 

It sounded ideal.

 

Somewhat vain and angry came simultaneously as I heard the foolishly kind answer.

 

So a colder voice came out.

 

“You can’t be friends with everyone. Go to the others who accept you.”

 

I watched Aesvin’s expression harden, but I didn’t give a kind explanation.

 

This was the right thing.

 

You shouldn’t have approached me with such a vague feeling.