I suddenly became the villain and I liked it

Sylvia POV

Finally, I am here.

“I am sorry, father.”

I could not help myself but apologize to my father. I have endured all this time. Ever since I have been forced to stay by her side, I am a prisoner. In order to keep those precious to me safe, I have sold myself to their whims. I guess you could say that I have been lucky enough that I am not being used for anything sexual but why is there a slight pain in my heart? Emotions truly are infuriating. I still remember when I first met that fallen angel. I once could not get mad at her as I could see the fear and resignation in her eyes.

“But now, she has changed.”

I surrendered myself to her as I could feel her fear, I could feel her hesitance but now, everything has changed. She has become similar to her father. The fear has now disappeared. All there is left is her will. A determination that I cannot understand. What is it that she wants to pursue? What is her goal? I feel like I cannot move on until I find that out. Something in me is telling me that her answer is the key to my future. So, now that I am here. I will endure once again and see the truth.

“Am I ready?”

A simple question that has a simple answer. I already knew from the very beginning that eventually I will stand in this position. As long as I endure by her side, she will show me what they have and will do. But the answer is truly simple.

“No.”

I am not ready and I will never be ready. Before, I could not hate her. Whether it was pity or sympathy, it prevented me from truly hating her. But now, I can. This change within her has fueled my hatred. Yes, I can push her down and do whatever I want with her. Wait, what am I thinking? I hate her and I hate her father. If only I was strong enough to kill him and make her mine. No, wait. What am I thinking? Suddenly, a knock on the door disrupts my thoughts.

“Come in.”

Head maid enters the room. I fix my posture and wait for her to speak.

“Relax. I am not here to lecture you today.”

“I understand. What do you need?”

“Milady has informed me that you will now be gradually exposed to the darkness that lurks in this place.”

“Yes. Mistress has decided so.”

“Can you handle it?”

This question again. I already know the true answer, no.

“Of course. I have come this far.”

“I was once like you. Very similar in fact. You hate them, don’t you?”

“I-“

“No need to answer. I can already tell. The real question is, will you break? Will your will falter? You do understand that defiance in these coming days will be your undoing. Are you prepared to endure?”

I stay silent to her questions.

“Look at me.”

I hesitate to meet her gaze.

“I said, look at me.”

I reluctantly raise my head to meet her gaze.

“What do you see?”

In all of my years working in this house, I could never stare in her eyes.

“What?”

“Did you think that I was broken? That I had succumbed to this place? Can you see it?”

A fire burns within her. Whether it was due to defiance or will, I will not know but I know one thing for sure. She is so strong.

“Do you think I got this far by surrendering? No, I have endured and endured to whatever they have shown me. I only have one goal that drives me to endure. So, what about you?”

What about me?

“Do you have a goal that you truly desire?”

I just want to keep my mother and sister safe.

“You may be thinking about your family and that is normal. But is that what truly drives you? You have endured this far. Do you know what truly drives you?”

I remember the first time I heard that voice. That angelic voice that captivated me.

“Of course, it is my family. That is the only thing that I care about in this place.”

Her face appears in my mind. Why? Why do you haunt me?

“I see. I sincerely hope that is enough. I have seen many people break within this place. Whether it is physically, mentally, or spiritually. All of them will lead down a path of ruin. For that is what they want, more tools to use.”

I stay silent as head maid continues to talk. Memories of my time together with her suddenly surface in my mind and I resist. Stop, I hate you.

“As your senior, I wanted to see your face before you step a foot in this path. I shall be watching and waiting for the outcome.”

I shake my head and get rid of her in my mind.

“I understand.”

“Whatever happens to you, I will put you back together. Whether you stay in one piece or not, is all up to you.”

“Of course, head maid.”

“Now, I have been instructed to let you rest for the day. Master will be returning tomorrow and you will need to prepare yourself.”

“Is this an order from the mistress?”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

“I understand. I shall take a rest for today.”

“Good. I shall see you tomorrow. Farewell.”

“Farewell, head maid.”

Head maid leaves the room and I am once again alone with my thoughts. I already know my reason for being here. My mother and sister are both being held captive and I must endure for them. So, why does her face keep appearing in my mind? Why do you haunt me even in my own thoughts? Why will you not leave me alone? I hate her. No, I hate them. I know that. I am sure of that. So, why can I not get rid of these feelings.