I Start with a Bad Hand!

“Wow, well done!”

“Yeah, let’s go for it!”

The match had begun. But the noise around me didn’t matter; I was too immersed in my own confusion.

‘…Really?’

At first, I couldn’t believe the sensation, so I kept feeling it. When I finally saw the callus on his left middle finger with my own eyes, I couldn’t hide my expression.

‘He really is left-handed…’

Why? Why would he hide his left-handedness? I had observed Hayden for a long time, and not once had he used his left hand. For the callus to be that prominent, he would have had to use his left hand naturally, at least occasionally.

“Dietrich?”

At some point, I realized I was holding his hand in silence. Hayden bent down to look at my face with concern. His brown eyes were full of my reflection. I stepped back hesitantly.

“Oh, sorry. I got a bit nervous….”

I mumbled some excuse about never having shot an arrow in front of so many people before. Hayden took a step closer as I stepped back. His hand touched my cheek, and I could smell the cream I had just applied. The scent, which had seemed fresh at first, now felt cloying and irritating.

“I thought you’d handle it with poise. So, you do get nervous, huh?”

“Ahaha… No matter how light the bet, everyone wants to win, right?”

“Is that so?”

Just then, a light whistle sounded.

“The match is starting!”

A half-hearted, obligatory cheer followed. I turned toward the source of the cheer and saw the participants of the first round gathered in one place.

The match was best two out of three. New members’ scores were doubled, giving them a better chance to overturn the veterans’ scores.

Hayden placed his hand on my shoulder, his thumb gently stroking my collarbone. The touch was sticky and unsettling. I would have preferred a punch to the shoulder over this, as the contact made me feel inexplicably uncomfortable.

“Do well, Dietrich. I’ll be cheering for you. Your team is the one with the green armbands, right?”

What kind of 19-year-old is this touchy…? Just as I felt my discomfort rising, Frank called me from behind. I felt a slight relief at the distraction, though I resented needing it, and I twisted my body to break the contact with Hayden.

“…Yes, that’s right. Thanks.”

As soon as I turned my back on Hayden, the forced smile fell from my face. What the heck is with him? The chilly breeze at the archery range gave me goosebumps.

In this brief moment, two of the three reasons I had disregarded Hayden as a suspect had crumbled.

‘Hayden uses his left hand. Enough to have calluses, which means he uses it frequently and consistently. And… he likes Roxanne. So if he knows about what happened between Roxanne and Dietrich, even if he doesn’t harbor ill will, he definitely wouldn’t be friendly towards me.’

But Hayden was still a foreigner. Even though there were suspicious aspects, I couldn’t be completely sure. I was about to head towards our team’s makeshift tent with these complex thoughts in my mind.

“Roxanne! Wow, 8 points!”

“So, with the double score… 16 points.”

“She turned the tables with one shot.”

In the distance, I saw Roxanne lightly high-fiving Elius. The usually stoic Elius had a faint smile on his face. Her lush silver hair, tied up in a single ponytail, swayed charmingly. That mesmerizing movement held my gaze for a long time. So it wasn’t surprising when my eyes met Elius’s as he cheerfully shook hands with her.

Realizing that I was staring intently at his fiancée, Elius’s expression hardened in an instant.

‘…What’s with that?’

And then, suddenly,

“Ptooey, ptooey. What, I got sand in my mouth.”

“What’s happening? Why’s there suddenly wind…?”

A strong gust of wind began to blow across the archery range. The wind was so fierce that sand and dust were swirling in the air, even though the range was covered in dense grass.

The wind was so strong that it was hard to keep my eyes open. I squinted and stumbled.

‘Why is there such a sudden gust in the spring?’

People were shouting and running toward the makeshift tents, seeking shelter from the unexpected chaos.

“Hold on, we’re pausing the match!”

Wow, I can’t move forward because I can’t keep my eyes open. The wind seemed to be particularly targeting me. As I struggled to stay upright in the strong wind, people brushed past me, bumping into my shoulders.

‘Ah, come on, people, have some manners.’

Just before I lost my balance and fell to the ground, someone gently grabbed my arm, stabilizing me. A heavy fabric fell over my head, blocking my view. It was a familiar school jacket, and a familiar hand pulled back the fabric from my face.

“You okay?”

…We faced the same wind, but why is he fine? I raised my hand to fix Icarus’s slightly tousled hair, but as I reached out, he naturally bent his head to make it easier. His gesture was so familiar that I hesitated, my hand stopping mid-air. Instead, I lightly patted his shoulder.

“I’m fine.”

Icarus took my hand off his shoulder. I could feel his rough fingertips carefully examining my hand.

“Are you hurt anywhere? How’s your shoulder?”

“No, I’m fine. But when I almost fell earlier, I dropped my bow.”

“Your bow?”

Both of us looked down at the ground. When we finally spotted my bow lying there, the noisy archery range seemed to fall silent just for us.

***

The wind, once it started, didn’t easily die down.

‘And the problem isn’t just that the wind hasn’t stopped….’

I nervously shook my leg and glared out from the makeshift tent. Beside me, Clara and other peers were busily trying to encourage the new members.

“Guys, cheer up. You can shoot well despite the wind.”

“Yeah, we can still turn this around.”

The new members, who were about to take their turn, were already discouraged by the fierce wind. To make matters worse, the other team had already shot remarkably well, creating a score gap that would be difficult to overcome without extraordinary effort.

“Yeah… Wind isn’t something you beat, it’s something you calculate… I’ll shoot first and let you know how the wind is, so don’t be too scared and stay strong….”

With a feeble cheer, I raised my fist, and Clara quietly lowered it.

“Your voice is more demotivating. Just keep your mouth shut.”

“Yeah…”

“And what are you going to do about your bow? It had to break at that moment.”

There was another issue. The sudden wind caused people to run around, and someone ended up stepping on and breaking my bow. It wasn’t completely irreparable, but there didn’t seem to be a way to fix it immediately.

‘Ah, Klaus gave this to me as a gift….’

Clara, being on the same team, diligently searched the range and handed me a communal bow, asking if it would work. Without that, I’d be in trouble. Other bows were unfamiliar to me, and at least the communal one was something I had used before.

“The game resumes in 5 minutes.”

“What? The wind hasn’t even died down yet, and already?”

“We have to finish before lunchtime.”

The archery members of the opposing team, with irritating tones but valid reasons, urged for the game to continue.

“This is too much. Do you guys really want to win this way?”

Clara, who had been boosting the new members’ morale, spoke irritably, and Frank responded.

“What’s there to worry about? You have Dietrich on your team.”

“Yeah, she’s not affected by the weather.”

Suddenly, everyone’s attention was on me. Oh no… don’t put the spotlight on me like this. Feeling the weight of their expectations, I walked away from the tent and into the range. And then, I once again encountered the person who had stirred up a storm in my heart today.

“Dietrich, it’s your team’s turn to shoot, right?”

As if he had escaped the influence of the wind, Hayden stood there quietly. I slowly approached him.

“But the bow… it used to be black, right?”

“Ah… I dropped it when I almost fell, and when I found it, it was broken.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

I pressed my lips together and nodded. His gentle voice followed the touch of his hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry too much. In any game, someone is always meant to lose, right?”

“…”

“This time, it just happens to be you. Even if things don’t go well, don’t be too upset.”

It was a strange feeling. It was definitely meant to be comforting… but was it really comforting? It seemed like he was trying to alleviate my burden, but instead of feeling lighter, I felt a mix of unease and a bit of defiance.

‘…How does he know if this is a losing game?’

I wasn’t trying to be contrary, but that’s how it felt. How could he make such a statement when the outcome wasn’t even decided yet? Sure, the wind was strong, and my familiar bow was broken just before the match, but to declare this a losing game…

I ruffled my hair. Even if I was suspicious, there was no need to be so cynical.

‘Damn it, I’m twisting his words.’

Feeling a light pull at the back of my neck, I straightened up. However, I didn’t want to be overly harsh or soft in my response.

“…Really?”

“Yes. No matter the outcome. This round was just a stroke of bad luck for you.”

“Hm, I see. But,”

“Resuming the match!” A fellow archer’s voice came from outside. Despite their attempt to shout loudly, the sound was muffled by the wind.

“Dietrich! It’s your turn!” I heard Clara call my name from afar. I waved roughly in her direction.

“Actually, it doesn’t matter. I’ve never been particularly lucky.”

I always thought Hayden’s eyes were a soft hazel. Today, they seemed to glisten like the inorganic pupils of a plastic doll.

See, this is how emotions affect perception. No matter how many times you look at the same thing. As I muttered to myself, I smiled at Hayden.

That’s why I was curious. What were Hayden’s feelings towards me, or rather, towards Dietrich? Would his emotions distort my sincere smile as mine did his?

“Even so… I’ve never given up on a game before even trying.”

Not once.

Gripping the communal bow firmly, I headed towards the firing line.