I Slept with the Villain Holding My Hand

 

✿

 

Merria has been resentful for a while. When Riley talked about Reukis’ wounds so easily, she wanted to slap her on the cheek.

 

It was a fact she knew, that his parents died from his darkness when it went rampant when Reukis was young.

 

But for Merria it was just an unfortunate accident. The Reukis she had seen had no intention of killing his parents. Even more so, Reukis must have been frustrated every time he heard the events of that day and thought that he deserved to be cursed.

 

Reukis was a poor pitiful man. He would rather cry than blame others.’ He was always blaming himself, denying that it was an accident.

 

He still couldn’t get rid of the guilt and crying.

 

Merria faced a wounded childhood of Reukis but couldn’t do anything for him.

 

I couldn’t go back to that time and stop the runaway of his powers, I couldn’t bring his parents back to life.

 

At the same time, Merria felt angry and fortunate. It wasn’t just her that was helpless in the past, but so was he.

 

Using her as an excuse, Reukis also wanted to ease the pain of his suffering. Merria gritted her teeth, but the tears that poured out eventually fell on her chin.

 

“Uh…”

 

Once the tears flowed, they couldn’t easily stop.

 

Facing the crying Merria, Reukis sprang up from the blanket. His hands were wandering in the air without even thinking about touching Merria.

 

Eventually, he gently patted Merria on the shoulder. It was a recollection of what Merria had done earlier to comfort him.

 

“Merria. Don’t cry. I never meant to make you cry.”

 

“Reukis.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Merria, who roughly wiped away her tears, wrapped his cheeks with her hands and asked. “Why do you think I’m crying right now?”

 

Reukis pondered the unexpected question.

 

In the end, he couldn’t find the proper words to answer, so he chose the most likely answer among the typical words from the nobles.

 

“Being by my side, are you afraid? Afraid that you’re going to be unhappy… staying with me.”

 

“Hah.”

 

At his answer, Merria snorted loudly. She then patted his cheek and looked straight at Reukis with her bright crimson eyes.

 

“Did you hear that?”

 

Reukis nodded his head slightly. Merria decided that she would clean up all the light-mouthed nobles around him in the future.

 

“No, I cried because I felt so sorry for you. It hurts so much seeing you suffer.”

 

“…Do you feel sorry for me? You’re not afraid of me?”

 

“Have you ever threatened me or treated me harshly?”

 

Reukis was always in a position of pleading and clinging to her, never speaking out.

 

Even now, he was looking at me with innocent eyes, leaving his face in my hands, defenseless.

 

As he stared blankly, Merria smiled softly at him and gently wiped the corner of one of his cheeks.

 

“You don’t. You’re kind and nice to me.”

 

“It’s Merria who’s sweet.”

 

“I think it’s only for Reukis. I’m usually a rude and selfish person.”

 

A person couldn’t be too simple. Everyone has a different side and depending on the opponent, they have no choice but to show different sides of themselves.

 

She had never seen anyone unconditionally good or bad. Even Merria was the same. She certainly had a soft spot for Reukis, even though she thinks so. Perhaps it’s because Reukis has always been a good person to Merria.

 

How could she calmly shake off the suffering that was right in front of Reukis?

 

“Anyway, I hope Reukis suffers a little less. Less restraint, less crying.”

 

I didn’t want him to get hurt anymore. So I thought it would be nice if the time came when he could say he was happy.

 

“What could I do to comfort you?”

 

Reukis’ face, which had relaxed to some extent, frowned. He hugged her as if he was running out of time with Merria. He felt at ease with her scent and felt comforted by her warmth.

 

“Don’t leave me, Merria…”

 

Reukis leaned his head on Merria’s neck. His pathetic voice reached Merria’s ear.

 

Instead of answering, Merria hugged him tightly and patted his back.

 

“I’m more afraid of you leaving me than anyone else. That’s why I couldn’t confess that I was cursed.”

 

“I don’t know what the two have to do with it.”

 

“Even after Harriet kicked out the servants, it didn’t stop the rumors from spreading. Fortunately, most people didn’t believe there was such a thing as a curse…”

 

“I don’t believe in such things. Doesn’t everyone have one such false rumor around them?” Merria said with a soft smile.

 

Reukis buried his head in Merria’s neck and continued. “But you, I didn’t want you to know. So I tried to hide it until the end.”

 

“I ended up hearing it…”

 

“I’m afraid you’ll abandon me if you ever find out …that scared me.”

 

The fear and weakness that resided within Reukis. It was something Merria found out right from Reukis lips.

 

‘He didn’t tell Shannon in the original, so of course, I had no way of knowing.’

 

Reukis’ pain, hundreds or thousands of his suffering remain which wasn’t even in the original. Now Reukis has placed his deadliest weakness in Merria’s hands. He was begging her not to abandon him because he would give her everything he has.

 

Merria wanted to tell Reukis to stop worrying because she won’t leave.

 

I wished that this man, like a paper boat floating in the open sea, could rest with peace of mind and without feeling anxious about me leaving.

 

Eventually, Merria pulled herself away from him and slowly put her hand on his face. Looking at him from a close distance, his innocent eyes were the first thing that caught my eye.

 

‘At first, I was just trying to say that I wouldn’t leave him. But it seems a bit disappointing to just say it.’

 

Merria gently stroked his plump lips with her thumb. Her deep sunken crimson eyes stared down at his nose bridge and fixed on his lips.

 

In the breathtaking atmosphere, Reukis’ throat trembled greatly. He couldn’t take his eyes off her without blinking his eyes as everything stopped in front of him.

 

It was in a flash that Merria came so close to him that he could barely breathe. In the blink of an eye, Merria’s face was stuck in front of him without a break.

 

It happened before Reukis even caught her moving away.

 

He felt like his mind couldn’t keep up with what had just happened. His empty lips, left with only a slight warmth, opened wide in surprise.

 

Merria didn’t want to be awkward, so she raised her head as if nothing had happened.

 

Reukis had stopped breathing like a balloon full of wind.

 

Merria decided to change the subject so he could breathe. She smiled and opened her lips. “Reukis, whenever you think you’re cursed, think of me.”

 

“Why…”

 

“I am a person who cares deeply for myself, so I never do anything dangerous. Since I became your lover, it’s safe to say that Reukis’ safety is guaranteed.”

 

I didn’t know what I was talking about.

 

Merria was just pretending to be okay, but her heart was pounding. Reukis narrowed the distance in an instant, like someone waiting for her to finish speaking.

 

“I’ll always remember.”

 

Then he kissed her lightly, just as Merria did.

 

Once…Twice…

 

Three times, four times…

 

“Sleep…”

 

As soon as Merria, in embarrassment, lifted her head slightly and opened her mouth to say something, Reukis kissed her as if waiting.

 

Merria clenched her fists tightly at the unfamiliar sensation. Reukis, like a thirsty man, did not let Merria go and continued to covet her. Reukis felt her breath and wrapped his arms around her waist.

 

Reukis felt like he was so thirsty for such a long time. He felt so ecstatic that it wasn’t enough to do it once.

 

Eventually, out of breath, Merria pushed him away first, and Reukis stepped back.

 

Reukis, with his eyes wide open, was extremely deadly. Merria breathed heavily, and she looked blankly at his lips, then closed her eyes again as if possessed.

 

As if it were a sign, the two held each other’s lips again. Reukis accepted Merria, feeling dizzy soaking in her affection.

 

✿

 

After sharing their breath for a long time, the two of them got tired and sat leaning their back on the bed.

 

Embarrassed, Merria handed over the wine in the room. Reukis took the wine and grabbed her empty hand and gently entangled it with his.

 

Merria, who had turned her gaze away, looked at Reukis silently. She was taken aback by what had happened out of the blue, but she didn’t think it was a mistake.

 

His lips puffed up from the slightly rough kiss, it looked cute. Merria smiled softly as she gently touched Reukis’ plump lips.

 

Are you possessed by this sly mouth?

 

She slowly squinted at Reukis’ face. He kissed Merria’s hand softly, which was fiddling with his lips with a very satisfied expression.

 

It was a gentle, tickling gesture, like a mother bird expressing her affection. Reukis fiddled with Merria’s hand and brought up one story and another.

 

From the heavy story of learning swordsmanship instead of dealing with magical powers, to the funny story about taking all kinds of medicinal herbs to cure the aftereffects.

 

As he talked, Merria simply gave up her hand and listened quietly to him.

 

Then Merria had a sudden thought and asked him. “But it’s just, no…, the aftereffects. Was it okay to say things like that? Wasn’t that a top secret?”

 

It was done on impulse, no matter how emotional he was. If this information leaked out and someone targeted him and gave him a potion to boost his mana, his life could be in danger.

 

Reukis shook his head without hesitation. He answered Merria with a serious look.

 

“I didn’t want to hide it from Merria.”

 

“Even if I find out a secret or two, I won’t run away.”

 

A shallow uneasiness still lingered inside Reukis’ clear golden eyes.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Merria. The one who wanted to believe her more than anyone else was Reukis himself.

 

It was only because he was still not sure that he was worthy of Merria’s faith and affection.

 

Merria noticed his intentions, raised her eyebrows, and swept his palms.

 

“Now I’m willing to hide it even if you come after killing with this hand. Because I don’t think you would do that for no reason.”

 

To Merria’s sarcasm, Reukis replied by adding wine to the glass. “I’m willing to welcome you even if you cut me with a knife.”

 

Merria, who was triggered by his words, asked a stronger question. “What if I try to kill Reukis?”

 

“That’s… I couldn’t leave you alone, so I’ll make sure to keep at least enough to save my life.”

 

Merria’s eyes hardened at the sight of Reukis, who looked so innocent that it was hard to believe that he was the one who carried out her death.

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