I reincarnated as an Immortal Caterpillar?

Ting.

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Ting.

The Malfae stared at the screens with bleary pupil-less eyes. Its sleepy face and the squinted eyes shied away from the glow of the screens before it grunted and dismissed them. It found no joy in the Skill Level ups. Instead, it pushed itself up and, as it sat on the floor of the tree hollow, its shoulder hunched and face fell.

‘Four months…gone.’ The [Survivor] breathed and shook its head to clear it of the useless thought. Its lifespan would decrease with each passing day and the only thing it could do was to evolve before its lifespan ended. There was no point in crying over spilt milk.

The [Hive Monarch] pushed itself up but a sudden pain in its knees sent it rolling back to the floor. Its dark eyes widened and it stared at its knees in disbelief. It pushed itself up again and despite the jerk in its knees, the [Reincarnated] stood up.

Nevertheless, its incredulous gaze didn't leave its weak knees that had already begun to fail. It closed its eyes and breathed to ball his fists. However, it felt the joints in its fingers resist. It flapped its wings but the simple action caused its back to ache.

The Malfae’s face fell and its heart sank as the memories of its time as a caterpillar forced themselves to the forefront. The time when it had been at the end of its lifespan and its body had become increasingly unresponsive, causing its flesh to hurt from simply moving.

The [Hive Monarch] had, once again, begun to age.

The skin on its hands had loosened to sport the beginning of wrinkles. Its hair had begun to thin and the hairline had started receding. Its eyes now sported dark circles beneath them while crow’s feet adorned the sides. Even the flesh on its cheeks and arms had begun to sag.

The [Survivor] shuddered before it used [Drone Eggs] to create its first batch of food.

At this point, if it had been a mortal, it would have begun to question its life, its existence and its purpose. After all, the Malfae had aged twice and had gone through three different lives; the lives of a caterpillar, a moth and its current one that was coming to an end.

After having gone through such experiences, any mortal would begin to question their existence. They would search for a reason that they struggled to live for. They would look for the meaning of life itself. For that was the nature of mortals. They lived short lives but that did not stop them from striving to be remembered forever. They sought fame, through either sin or virtue. For it was their own form of immortality that they desperately sought to achieve.

But the immortals were immortals not just in name. They were the creatures that could live forever if they strived for it. And the immortals strived. They struggled and they suffered to achieve this immortality.

Where Mortals sought immortality in thought, the Immortals sought immortality in flesh.

Where Mortals sought immortality in illusion, the Immortals sought immortality in reality.

This was the fundamental difference between Mortals and Immortals. And it was because of this reason that the Malfae, despite possessing the memories of a mortal, struggled to understand the mortal’s actions and motives.

It was also the reason that the Malfae didn't give up on evolving to accept its rapidly approaching death. Despite the struggles that it went through, the horrors it saw and the lives it lived, the [Survivor] marched on.

0.0

With the passage of winter and the arrival of spring, the trees sprouted new leaves and flowers bloomed. The [Reincarnated], meanwhile, remained unaffected, hidden as it was within the copse of evergreen trees. It left not the tree hollow and survived merely on the diet of its own eggs and sap of the evergreen tree. All the while, it diligently worked within the [Sense Essence] as it manifested the Mana System within its own Essence.

Perhaps it was desperation to live or the lack of lethargy from the creeping winter, but its speed in mapping the mana system increased quite a bit. Where previously all it had achieved within 2 months had been the mapping of a single palm, within the next two, it mapped all the way up to its elbow.

Thus, as leaves lost their brightness and flowers fell to reveal the fruits hidden within, the [Survivor] continued its single-minded pursuit. The temperature rose and the pleasant coolness within the air disappeared. Heat slowly became unbearable and the wind became scorching. Days seemed to burn while nights seemed to simmer, yet it didn't break out of its meditative trance.

Its dedication led to the [Hive Monarch] completing the entirety of its arm by the time the height of the summer arrived. Yet it didn't gain another level in the Skill. It was not until it began mapping its chest and reached its heart that [Mana Manipulation] levelled up to reach Level 4.

During this time that it had been carving the mana system into its Essence, the Malfae seemed to have gained some understanding of how the Skill worked. Or better to say, it seemed to have received a hint on how to mould mana. Though, it had yet to discover what it could truly comprehend from that.

The Malfae had not yet forgotten the advice she had received when she had been learning the Skill. ‘Guide. Don’t force. Speak. Don’t order. Persuade. Don’t control. For the mana does what it does, for no reason than it does.’ The words that had not made sense to it for a long time, seemed to make sense the more it thought about its own shallow understanding.

Yet, the conclusion remained elusive. Thus, after a long time, it focused not on [Sense Essence] and Essence sculpting but something else. It decided to focus solely on [Mana Manipulation].

The [Reincarnated] thus activated [Mana Manipulation] and was instantly pulled within itself. It observed the mana as it disappeared and appeared at its own will. The mana moved, but it didn't flow. Instead, it remained in flux. There was no beginning to its movement and neither was there an end.

The Malfae thought for a moment and tried to send its consciousness within the mana system. It floated down to the mana system until its consciousness was as close to system as it could be. The consciousness still pressed closer and the [Survivor] felt its consciousness touch the fluxing mana directly above its heart.

At that moment, sharp pain blasted across its temples as the [Hive Monarch] was thrown out from within its body and into the physical world.

Ting.

The [Reincarnated] woke up with its face sporting a sharp-toothed smile. ‘So this is how it is supposed to go. Huh.’ Indeed, it had been going about it all wrong.

Mapping mana pathways onto its Essence was not a method that anyone would even recommend as, in the end, it would not have done the [Survivor] any good. This method that it had been diligently following, was as useless as trying to drain the seas, one bucket at a time.

While one would still get the water out of the seas, their goal of emptying the sea would remain as unrealisable as ever. It would be a useless endeavour with unintended results. Same was the case of the Malfae as it spent months after months, etching the mana channels into its Essence.

The [Mana Manipulation] Levels it had received were the unintended results. And so was the understanding of [Mana Manipulation] that it shallowly perceived. After all, as one tirelessly drew out water from the ocean, they would come to understand a bit about the ocean water. Perhaps it would be the smell of the ocean or perhaps it would be the taste of salt that permeated all the seas and the oceans. They might realise the life that existed within the water, in form of fish, seaweed and the other creatures. Or they might realise the cycle of tides that pushed and pulled at the water.

The understanding that the [Reincarnated] had received was much the same.

But at that moment, its smile disappeared as its eyes widened, nostrils expanded and mouth twisted. Its head throbbed like a hundred metal sheeted being banged simultaneously. Its eyes leaked blood and bloody streams dripped down from its nose and ears.

Its face darkened and the creature’s body violently trembled, out of its control. The [Hive Monarch] clutched its head within its hand and squeezed with all its might as if trying to destroy the agony along with its own head. Its face remained twisted in unbearable anguish and pained shrieks escaped its blue lips.

This was the result of its shallow understanding.

When the Malfae had tried to send its consciousness within the mana system, it had been nothing short of utter foolishness. Its act had been akin to jumping into a deep river when one doesn’t even know how to float, let alone swim. What it should have done, instead, would have been akin to exploring the shallow waters of the unknown. In that environment, it should have learned to swim before diving deeper.

The only reason that it wasn't suffering an even worse agony was the Levels it had in the Skill [Mana Manipulation]. They had acted like floating platforms that had saved it from drowning.

0.0

Days continued to march and monsoon arrived, all the while the Malfae remained secluded within its tree hollow. Parched earth was watered as rain showered the earth and the heat receded, yet the [Reincarnated] continued to work with a single-minded dedication.

Though, this time, instead of working on etching mana channels within its own Essence, it worked on trying to slowly acclimate its consciousness with its Mana System. Unfortunately for it, this new path proved to be much harder than it had anticipated.

The [Hive Monarch]’s attempts at assimilating its consciousness failed one after another, leaving it bloodied, and with splitting headaches. It continuously suffered agony but persisted. Its endurance did lead to some advancement though. As after repeated failures, it advanced enough to stop bleeding from its orifices.

Failure is the mother of success, after all. And as clouds continued to bleed and cold continued to spread, it learned this first hand. With each failure, aftereffects continued to decrease. Bleeding decreased and the headache soon followed the same route.

Guide. Don’t force. Speak. Don’t order. Persuade. Don’t control. For the mana does what it does, for no reason than it does.

The [Survivor] continued to ponder on the words that she had been told. These words, that had been nothing but nonsense at one point, morphed into a lifeline that it held onto with all its might.

And with each of its failures, it saw a much clearer picture.

0.0

With dull pupil-less eyes, the [Reincarnated] stared at its Status. It stared at the screen for a moment more before closing its eyes and letting out a sigh. It didn't ponder for long over its decreasing lifespan and returned to the only thing that could allow it to live.

Its focused dedication, however, broke as the rain began falling once again. Though this shower had come after quite some time, thus the Malfae expected to be one of the last showers of the season.

After having ignored the previous downpours, it didn't last long against the enticement of the new-born petrichor of the last rain. The pitter-patter of the raindrops invited it with their melody and the [Survivor] stepped out for the first time in a long while.

The droplets fell on its body and the joints that had begun to ache protested at the newfound coldness. It wanted to fly to greet the rain but it didn’t, for it feared the ache in its back. Instead, it laid on the ground as the water fell from the skies to form puddles.

The tiny raindrops that were so inconsequential alone, once they came together, became its beloved rain. But this unity was lost on the [Hive Monarch] for it was an immortal, it could not understand such a concept.

Instead, it saw the puddle that formed around its body and saw the tiny droplets fall and lose themselves in a bigger existence. They became lost and they died, ceasing to exist. What existed in their place was this new existence. This puddle.

They died, only to become one.

The creature’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘…died, only to be one.’

The petrichor continued to rise as it seeped into anything and everything. The grey clouds continued to rumble and the thunder continued to roar. The rain continued to fall unabated. The droplets followed the fate etched for them and met their end. Its eyes narrowed. ‘...died to be one.’

Lightning flashed and struck something somewhere far off. Thunder followed to shake the world. Yet the rain continued to fall unbothered. Raindrops born and died, one after the other. Their short lives ending with nothing but a splash of water. In the end, however, they too became one with the water, from which they had once risen.

Its gaze became unfocused. ‘To be one.’

The [Survivor] ceaselessly stared at the grey clouds and the falling rain. It laid in the puddle forming around its body, ignoring the world that was drenched in water and thunder. At that moment, its furrowed brows straightened and its eyes widened.

It flew back to the tree hollow, forgetting the rain that it had come out to enjoy, and activated [Mana Manipulation]. It was pulled in and the Mana System manifested before its consciousness. It had figured the process out.

The [Hive Monarch] slowly lowered its consciousness as it went to greet the Mana System once again. Though this time, instead of wanting to be assimilated within the system, it sought nothing.

After all, for a droplet of rain to become a puddle, it must seek nothing. A droplet that falls, knew not what its future would be. Would it fall onto a leaf? Would it be absorbed into the soil? Would it fall into an already formed puddle? The droplet knew not its future. The droplet sought not its future. It let itself be and allowed the world to etch its fate.

But the fates that differ, lead to nothing but one.

The drop absorbed by the soil, left the earth moistened enough that the soil absorbed no more and allowed the water to collect. The droplets that fall onto the leaves continue to exist long after the rain, keeping the air moist, lest the puddle evaporated.

And the drops that formed the puddle, they build themselves upon the death of the those that had fallen before them and the ones that would after. For a drop to become a puddle, it must become one with it. For it to become one, it must die.

This concept that the Malfae seemed to comprehend, was not unity. For it could not understand unity. It was not a sacrifice, for it could not understand sacrifice. This concept was of utter domination. The droplets that fall into the puddle are dominated by the puddle. The droplets that fall onto the dry earth, they are dominated by the earth while the droplets that fall into the air, they are dominated by the air.

The [Hive Monach] was an immortal; it understood not the concept of ‘dying to become one’. Therefore, its immortal nature twisted its understanding to make it understand the dominance of one over another. Whether this understanding was false or not, it didn’t know. All it knew was its understanding.

However, it remembered the advice that she had been given. Guide. Don’t force. Speak. Don’t order. Persuade. Don’t control. For the mana does what it does, for no reason than it does.

Thus, mana couldn’t be dominated. And the Malfae was not going to try exerting its will after what had happened last time. This, thus, resulted in only one option. If one must dominate the other and the mana could not be dominated, just who could be dominated then?

The answer was the Malfae itself. It must be dominated. Thus, as its consciousness descended into its Mana System, it felt its consciousness be assaulted by the mana within it. The constant flux of the mana tried to sunder it apart. It wished to rip it into pieces and destroy the remaining chunks.

The [Reincarnated] bled from its eyes, nose, ears and mouth. Yet, [Mana Manipulation] did not end. It plunged its consciousness deeper and the assault ripped its consciousness apart. It vomited out blood and bled from its very pores. Such was the loss of blood that its blue skin turned red. Its thoughts became indistinct and fractured as its consciousness continued to be sundered, leaving behind pieces akin to shattered glass.

This was the result of the primitive method that the Malfae had stumbled onto. This method that the desperate creature had encountered was not something that a mortal would ever use. After all, mortals were mortals and not Immortals. They had the benefit of thousands of years of research and trial and error that the Immortals lacked, mistrusted and disdained.

This method that it had employed was akin to something that the mortal pioneer mages had used in a time so ancient that even the records if it were nothing but dust.

This method had then been improved, enriched and researched until it became the method of that the mortals used today, where there was no blood and no need to die. The mortals simply employed the basis of their existence and taught their young the method to manipulate mana.

It was something that the immortals couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Powerful as they might be, immortals could only die to become one.

The shattered pieces of the Malfae’s consciousness got entangled in the fluxing mana and shattered further. The more they got entangled, the more they were minced. But the more they were minced, the more they got entangled. Its consciousness was ground until it became nothing but sand, yet the process did not stop.

And within these grains of sand, a thought arose.

It arose within a single grain, yet the longer it lingered, the more its spread within the other pieces. This thought continued to spread as the consciousness continued to be torn apart. What had once been one, became many. But within these many, a single thought echoed out.

‘[Moulting].’

0.0

The [Hive Monarch] woke up with a headache that it was willing to die to get rid of. Its head pounded and its thoughts were jumbled. It tried to remain awake but it fought with itself against the idea.

It blacked out.

0.0

It woke up. It blacked out.

0.0

Its eyes opened. But it blacked out.

0.0

It became aware. But it blacked out.

0.0

It awakened and crawled. But it blacked out.

0.0

It wakened. It crawled. It drank the sap. But it blacked out.

0.0

It fed on the sap. But it blacked out.

0.0

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0.0

It was unknown how many times the Malfae awakened and fainted. It was also unknown how it managed to feed itself. What was known, on the other hand, was that when the [Survivor] finally regained consciousness, autumn had very much arrived.

The trees had shed and the carpet of coloured leaves had already begun decaying. The temperature had dipped to a chilly coldness and the air had lost all its humidity. The copse had become silent as the critters had disappeared and the days had become shorter.

The [Hive Monarch] frowned and checked its Status.

Its heart stopped for a moment and its chest ached as it eyes fell on the lifespan mentioned within the Status Screen. [Lifespan: 8 Months].

-X-

Within a desolate desert, inside a dilapidated shop, on a simple chair, a youth seemingly slept.

-X-