I Pretended To Have Amnesia and the Hero’s Party Becomes Obsessed

36 – 5. Desire Inevitably Flows West (5)

Sometimes, I wish our leader was a little less stubborn.

Not a lot, just a little.

Just enough to admit that people can make mistakes.

A nervous voice flowed from my throat.

“Why are you suddenly bringing this up?”

I clenched my fists on the desk, frustration on my face.

“You haven’t mentioned this in the past three years.”

“Back then, there was no way to heal your heart. Now there is.”

The leader’s indifferent response further irritated my temperament. I lowered my voice.

“And let’s be clear. Our agreement wasn’t just about that.”

However, the leader only looked down.

In the end, fixing the heart would put an end to everything.

“So, after fixing your heart, are you going to do as you please?”

“It’s what should have been done four years ago.”

I tried to push in a string of bitter curses, but it didn’t quite work.

“Leaving for some unheard-of place and never coming back?”

A bitter smile finally appeared on the leader’s face.

“We promised. That’s how it is.”

“I thought I could easily dismiss that spineless thought. Seriously…”

“So, are you going to fix the heart?”

His words hung in the air, stifled by tension.

A smile vanished from the commander’s face.

“I’ve said it many times, but the gem I implanted in place of your heart wasn’t perfect.”

Even the remaining mischief was erased from his voice. She stared at me with cold eyes.

“I don’t know when it will stop.”

“…It’s been fine until now.”

“Yeah, until now. But that doesn’t mean it will be okay in the future.”

…I wanted to retort, but I couldn’t find the words. I nervously bit my lower lip.

It was a moment of thick silence that flowed.

“…Rem, are you in there?”

Parsley’s voice from outside the tent. Already? The thought flashed through my mind.

“Looks like I wasn’t the only one to meet someone other than me.”

The commander, who had regained a playful expression, stood up. I was about to say that the conversation wasn’t over yet, but the commander took the lead.

“Well, let’s save this discussion for after we get the treasure. After all, the treasure isn’t in our hands yet, right?”

And, as if signaling that he wouldn’t entertain further questions, the commander gestured for me to leave.

However, my question wasn’t over yet.

“So, did you tell me to lie that night?”

The advice the commander gave me after hearing my past.

Pretend to have amnesia,

Did she know that things would turn out like this from that moment?

I quietly gazed at the commander.

“Well?”

But, as always, she only gave me an ambiguous answer.

I furrowed my brow and exited the tent.

***

Rozaria Amelia Ulrike Adrian,

or Katarina Augusta von Titanisch.

The sole survivor of House Adrian.

She was the leader of the first brigade of the Central Knights, once a wanted criminal with 300 gold coins hanging around her neck, had a chance to soar into the skies once, but ultimately, a woman who remained as the head of the Roselem Mercenaries. Rosaria silently gazed at the vacant seat left by her vice-commander. Her previous playful demeanor felt so false that her expression turned numb. But even that didn’t last long. Soon enough, she knelt down, burying her face in her hands, clutching her forearm tightly as her body trembled.

“Just… getting to know each other, that’s all.”

Crimson lines traced her pale forearm. How could she tremble so weakly in that moment? How could she act so nonchalant, teasingly bantering, when her heart ached so painfully? Rosaria couldn’t even explain it to herself. She just mulled over words that nearly slipped out, foolish words like “Congratulations.”

“Lost in your thoughts again?”

Rosaria didn’t lift her head. The only one she knew who used such peculiar speech was that savage. She merely retorted with a sharp voice.

“Reserve your airs for the vice-commander?”

“…After four years, you’re still as rude as ever.”

With determined steps, Fea approached Rosaria and sat squarely opposite her.

Only then did Rosaria look up, tears faintly marking her cheeks.

“Is it proper for a mere mercenary to barge in on the commander’s solitude like this?”

“Come on, the only reason you’re the commander is because the boss told you to. Originally, based on seniority, I should have been the one in charge, you know?”

Fea retorted and pulled out a bottle of alcohol from her bosom, setting it down on the table with a thud, the sound echoing in the room.

Rosaria’s brow furrowed.

“Get your feet off.”

But Fea didn’t budge, instead raising an eyebrow and questioning her with an air of defiance.

“So, another fight with the boss over some promise?”

…

Rosaria wordlessly buried her face halfway back into her knees. It was an ambiguous confirmation.

Fea sighed, tilting her head as if exasperated.

“Why are you doing this? Since four years ago, I have to leave, Jjinja. I can’t stay here, Jjinja. Even though I know exactly what my brother wants.”

Rosaria’s eyes grew cold.

“…You don’t understand.”

“Sorry, but I don’t want to understand, either.”

Fea opened the bottle cap without hiding her disdain. The strong scent of alcohol filled the tent.

Rosaria’s words flowed into the scent like a whisper.

“Rem, did he seem happy?”

A contextless statement.

However, Fea immediately understood what Rosaria meant.

So, without saying a word, she gulped down the drink and then offered it to Rosaria.

That, too, was a form of affirmation.

Rosaria accepted the glass with a wistful smile. After drinking heavily, she muttered with unfocused eyes.

“I knew it would come to this someday… but it’s still hard to accept.”

“…Is it the end for our business?”

Fea spoke again as she received the bottle.

“The ending befitting two idiots who stupidly missed their chance.”

The tilting bottle again.

Fea’s face gradually blurred with intoxication.

She looked down and murmured as if talking to herself.

“Just stay by my side. Just by my side.”

Rosaria, looking at Fea’s lonely face, closed her eyes. It was probably because she thought she might be making a similar expression.

“You’re not normal either.”

***

One fact becomes a clear truth only after it seeps into daily life.

Even though I searched desperately inside the mansion and couldn’t find a single useful tea leaf, I could accept the truth that there was a shortage of resources.

And with a heavy heart, I had to treat parsley with cold water.

“I’m sorry, I tried to bring something…”

“No, I know about the situation here too.”

Parsley smiled, but it was a smile that could be immediately recognized as forced.

“So…”

I sat across, tearing the conversation apart.

“First of all, I’m sorry.”

Parsley’s blue hat once again concealed her face.

“Leaving Aholtle without a word.”

There was a faint tremor in her voice.

“I was too confused at the time… sorry, it shouldn’t have happened.”

After hearing that, I realized I left more traces of that incident than I thought.

Really, I didn’t expect to run away like that all of a sudden.

“Did you not receive a letter from Irene?”

“…After leaving Aholtle, I traveled all over the continent. I couldn’t receive any letters.”

Parsley forced a bitter smile. I swallowed a sigh as I looked at him.

The human heart is cunning and filled with vanity, often indulging in forgiveness and tolerance.

I decided to let it pass this time.

“It’s okay. Well, it happens.”

And, not wanting to talk more about this topic, I quickly changed it.

“But, why are you here? I heard the adventurer party disbanded, but…”

“I’m looking for something.”

Parsley’s face showed signs of exhaustion. She fixed her gaze on the untouched cup on the table as she spoke.

“It was something I was looking for even before joining the adventurer party. Someone mentioned it being here.”

Something.

Was it a coincidence that the word reminded me of the treasure the innkeeper mentioned?

Surely not.

“…Can I ask one thing?”

I looked up at Parsley. The hat obscured her eyes, but her lips were tight.

“What happened to your left eye and right hand? How did that happen?”

“Ah…”

I sighed bitterly and looked at my right hand. It, made of flesh and skin, still felt awkward.

“That’s…”

Should I tell Parsley what happened with Clara? I hesitated and mumbled my words.

But eventually, I nodded and opened my mouth.

“Is it okay if it’s a slightly long story?”

It may be a simple intuition, but Parsley’s emotions seemed to be similar to Clara’s.

If Parsley heard the story of Clara reconciling with me, it could have had a positive impact on her.

…And, above all, she didn’t want to hide anything from the girls anymore.

“…It’s okay.”

Parsley nodded her head lightly as she trembled. I also nodded my head and began the story.

Naturally, many parts of the story had to be omitted or altered.

It was meaningless for me to say things like Clara being consumed by guilt and trying to imprison me to commit suicide.

Of course, I also didn’t mention that Clara and I…kissed. That was completely unnecessary.

I just concluded the story by saying there were misunderstandings between Clara and me, and I cleared them up with this opportunity.

My eyes and hands were fixed in the process, too.

“…”

And Parsley’s reaction to hearing the story was quite different from what I expected.

“Oh, I see.”

Parsley looked confused.

It didn’t seem like she didn’t understand my words. Rather, it seemed like conflicting emotions were brewing inside her.

A look of not knowing how to react.

Just in a state of confusion for a while, she repeated the words I had already said.

“Oh, I see.”

And silence inevitably followed.

It wasn’t because we had nothing to say to each other. It was rather a silence born from the fact that there was only one thing left to say.

The lips that remained tightly sealed because it was scary to let those words out.

However, silence is not a perishable item.

“…Do you know why I kept meeting you, Parsley?”

“…”

Parsley didn’t answer. He simply pressed his hat down again, covering his face.

As I looked at him, I managed to open my mouth.

“…Memories that had vanished started coming back one by one. Especially, the ones about you, Parsley.”

…That was the words I hesitated to say until they almost left my tongue.

Parsley’s trauma from the past was not something light. When I asked about the past last time, she even refused to have a conversation.

If I mention the past thoughtlessly, she might run away. I used to think that facing it head-on was forbidden.

But after the incident with Clara, I couldn’t change my mind.

Clara almost stabbed herself in the heart.

It was partly due to Clara’s extreme behavior, but also because I didn’t actively engage in conversation.

If, before entering Aholtel, I had grabbed Clara by the collar and had a conversation with her, the misunderstanding could have been resolved a little faster.

That’s why this time, I was determined to charge in.

Even if she refused to listen, I would forcefully grab her and shout into her ear.

I closely observed Parsley, making this resolve.

And, I was taken aback.

“…Where should I start?”

Parsley seemed indifferent.

No, it was more like she forcefully suppressed her emotions. I could see her fingertips trembling slightly.

However, compared to the extreme reaction she showed that night, her current reaction was close to no reaction. No, even compared to the agitation I felt when I heard Clara’s story just now.

What kind of change in mindset could there have been…?

“From where did the memory come up?”

Parsley’s slightly trembling voice snapped me out of my reverie. I put aside my puzzlement and answered.

“Well… from the first time I met Parsley.”

“Can you tell me?”

Once again, bewilderment overwhelmed me.

Now Parsley was looking directly into my eyes.

“No, tell me. If there are any mistakes, I’ll correct them.”

An unexpected, proactive reaction.

But this time, I firmly suppressed my puzzlement.

I didn’t know why, but this was an opportunity.

An opportunity to unravel the misunderstanding with Parsley.

I gathered my courage and opened my mouth.

“…Maybe, it was right after the regular exams in summer.”

And slowly, I began to unfold the story from 8 years ago.