I Pretended To Have Amnesia and the Hero’s Party Becomes Obsessed

13 – 2. Cowards (3)

If I am in the darkness, Rem, I inevitably think of you.

Starting from your eyes, I seep into the memories that end with your eyes.

Among countless children, I chose you purely because of those eyes.

If you think of it as black, it’s amber.

If you look into it thinking it’s amber, inside it is mixed with a light green.

The eyes that resembled a kaleidoscope.

Would it be an exaggeration to say I fell in love with you the moment I saw those eyes?

Perhaps that’s what it was.

Back then, I was a girl so young I didn’t understand love at all.

I was merely enchanted, I suppose.

Like a young boy captivated by a shiny, round stone.

But, Rem.

It didn’t take long for that simple fascination to deepen into profound affection.

Because you were, after all, a person as radiant as the sun.

Every morning you woke me up,

And every night you read me fairy tales,

I was gradually permeated by you.

I learned about loving someone.

And in that last week we spent together.

Waking up to morning dew, walking until my feet ached all day long in those radiant days.

That’s when I finally realized I loved you.

Rem, it’s the truth.

The moment I returned to the cathedral, I planned to confess my feelings to you. I wanted to stay by your side, presenting you with the finest jewelry, asking you to remain.

I wanted your eyes directed at me to tell me how beautiful they were.

So, I wanted to choke myself.

At that moment when my recklessness gazed into your two eyes.

Rem.

My Rem.

I know I’m unforgivable.

I know I’m doing something despicable to you, who has lost your memory.

I’m not asking for a second chance.

But, can’t you just give me time?

Time to undo even a fraction of what I’ve done.

“Clara.”

I lifted my head. I saw parsley standing in the moonlight at the entrance of the tent. Naturally, I wasn’t surprised.

Since Ray came to me, I vaguely expected things to turn out like this.

I just smiled softly.

“Parsley, your face says it all. What’s wrong?”

It was a statement made after seeing the traces of tears deeply embedded in Parsley’s face. As if something had pierced her heart, Parsley’s face contorted.

I’m sorry, Rem.

For constantly tormenting Rem’s friend.

But by showing a face that seemed like it was dying from guilt and telling others what to do, I made quite a spectacle, as well.

In the end, saying that I wanted to be by Rem’s side myself.

“…Why did you tell such a lie to Rem?”

“What lie are you talking about?”

“Don’t act innocent!”

Parsley raised her voice unusually. She stared at me and spoke.

“Telling Rem that you were a nobleman’s son or something, I already heard it from Rem.”

It was as if she was speaking to a thief caught red-handed stealing a cow. It seemed like she wanted me to feel ashamed and shrink away.

But I couldn’t live up to her expectations.

“Why is that a lie?”

“Well…?”

I casually replied.

“Is it so difficult to provoke a fallen noble family and put Rem’s name in their family tree?”

“What are you talking about right now…”

“Now that I think about it, it would have been okay even if it wasn’t a fallen noble family. Selling your soul for a few jewelry boxes, it’s the same whether it’s a fallen noble or just a noble, you know.”

Parsley’s pupils shook. I smiled and continued speaking.

“A lie is only a lie until it becomes the truth, Parsley.”

Rem, when I said I exist for you, it was not an exaggeration.

I believed that you were undoubtedly alive. I was sure that you didn’t leave me in this world.

So, I lived for the past thirteen years for one thing only.

Power.

The strength to seize the life you lost.

Rem, the mischievous one you knew is dead.

“And, Parsley.”

Please let me know if there’s anything else I can assist you with.

I stood up from my seat and approached the still frozen Parsley.

“Hey, could you calm down a bit?”

“…!”

Parsley’s eyes widened in shock. It seemed as though they were reading my thoughts, as if daring me.

However, I didn’t shut my mouth.

“That’s right. I did something terrible to Lem. But does that mean I have to act like you, Parsley? Trying to hide my guilt behind a hat and avoiding him until he comes to me first?”

A sarcastic chuckle escaped my lips.

“I’m sorry, but that’s nothing more than self-defense. It’s no different from flipping over a metal bucket and beating my head against it. How does that help Lem in any way, shape, or form, besides soothing my own guilt?”

“This anger…”

“Are you calling me a raging bitch? That’s right. I am a raging bitch. But I’m not a lowlife who chooses to stay silent like you.”

I looked down at Parsley with cold eyes.

“I will do what I can for Lem. I will give him what he deserves.”

And with that, I took one more step into Parsley’s personal space.

It felt as if our noses were about to touch. I stared into Parsley’s eyes and spoke.

“That’s my way of atonement and apologizing to him.”

And finally, I let go of my grudges and let them flow away.

“So, could you please leave my tent?”

***

The next day, as soon as dawn broke, we cleaned up the campsite and headed into the underground passage.

However, our journey was carried out in a completely different atmosphere from the day before.

“…”

“…”

“…”

Darkness filled the passage.

The light of magical lanterns barely pushed back the darkness.

Along the hazy boundary between us, a deep silence flowed. No, it wasn’t flowing. It was clinging to us.

The silence that had lasted for a long five hours was now so hardened that we needed to talk about its viscosity rather than its concentration.

Since entering the underground passage, none of us had said a single word.

Everyone, even Clara, seemed too deeply absorbed in something to pay any attention to each other.

Though our bodies walked together, our minds were trapped in our own separate cells.

It was all a fallout from what I did yesterday.

However, I didn’t feel any awkwardness or discomfort in that silence.

It was probably because I, too, was preoccupied with rummaging through my thoughts in the solitary confinement.

In the end, yesterday, I couldn’t get any answers from them, let alone small clues. And judging by their reactions yesterday, it seemed unlikely that the day I would hear about my past from them would come.

So, apart from turning away, there was only one thing I could do.

I started to dig through my memories.

In the end, amnesia is my vivid lie. The reason they act like that must surely exist in my memories.

…However, I’m still a blockhead and haven’t found the clue.

“Hey-“

It was perplexing, but the voice was surprisingly calm to be surprising.

I looked at Irene with confusion, raising my hand halfway.

“…What are you doing right now?”

“Can’t you see? I’m surprising you.”

“…May I ask why you’re doing such a thing?”

“I’m bored.”

…I felt it before, but the baggage carrier of the hero party had a somewhat quirky side.

But even thinking that, I understood her.

She was the only one in our group who wasn’t entangled with my past.

A monotonously stretching corridor and colleagues who hadn’t spoken a word for hours.

It’s the perfect condition for an excursion out of boredom.

Of course, whether it’s right to do such an excursion to someone I met less than a week ago is another matter.

“Oh, and, can you give me your hand?”

It was a somewhat unexpected request, but I obediently reached out my hand. Irene opened her pocket of non-space and placed a bundle in my hand.

With an expressionless face, she asked.

“Can you guess what this is?”

“…Is it some kind of herb? It doesn’t feel that heavy…”

“It’s a teleportation stone.”

Understanding that statement took about 3 seconds.

“…!”

And finally, the moment of understanding arrived.

I almost fell down as my legs went weak.

Return Stone,

a magic tool that teleports the user to a designated location.

Due to its convenience, usefulness, and high difficulty in production, it is worth the price of a whole house.

I stuttered in disbelief.

“Why would you give me something like this…”

“Did I not mention that I will take care of your personal compensation?”

I realized that she was talking about the day she ambushed my hiding place.

That’s why I tilted my head with a troubled expression.

“It’s too much.”

It wasn’t just an empty phrase.

Excessive compensation brings harm. It is quite a famous saying in this line of work. And there is a reason behind every saying.

“If I receive something this expensive, it won’t be compensation but a debt. I only did what I was supposed to do, so please keep it.”

A faint smile appeared on Irene’s face as she heard my words.

“It seems that Rem is more humble than I thought.”

…I’m not being humble. I’ve just seen many greedy people who died with their stomachs burst.

“But you don’t have to worry about that part.”

“…What do you mean?”

“I didn’t buy this with my own money. It was supplied by the country, so if you lose it, they will provide it again, anyways.”

…Isn’t that embezzlement?

Then, I shouldn’t accept it even more, right?

“And, you already have it in your hands. Dongju.”

And Irene hid her hands behind her back as if she made up her mind not to accept it. A gesture that showed her determination not to take it.

“…I’ll gratefully accept it.”

I reluctantly put the Return Stone into my pocket.

…If I get caught later, I can submit a petition to the Financial Authority or someone like that. At least I won’t die alone.

With that thought in mind, I tried to lock it away in my memories once again.

“And…”

Irene suddenly mumbled and her voice became unclear. A hesitant light shone on her dark face as she asked.

“Forgive me for interrupting, but may I ask one more question?”

Suddenly? The thought lingered only briefly as I obediently nodded my head.

“Well, um… If there’s anything I can answer, I’ll do my best.”

It was amusing to receive such a grand gift and then awkwardly wipe my mouth.

“And how did you happen to regain consciousness?”

It was a question I didn’t often receive. Surprisingly, the residents of this fantasy world tended to respect privacy.

Perhaps it was because people rarely approached me due to my appearance.

Personally, I didn’t consider it an impolite question.

In a sense, my appearance was a kind of decoration to me.

I began to answer, “Well…”

No, I closed my mouth the moment the answer was about to pop out.

Then, without realizing it, I found myself looking at the current group of heroes, now about six steps ahead of us. I had completely forgotten that I wouldn’t see them again. At least, I shouldn’t discuss this story in front of them.

They…

In that moment, realization struck me like a meteor shower.

“…Miss Rem?”

“Well, just a moment…”

I rested my chin on my hand and quickly immersed myself in thought.

But that couldn’t be true.

Or rather, it must not be true.

To be honest, it couldn’t be.

However, if their reason for acting like this was indeed related to that, it fit too perfectly. It even explained why they initially avoided me.

The gears of thought, long stagnant, began to turn, creating a feeling of movement.

Surely…

Did they think the loss of my eyes, vocal cords, and wrists was their fault?

“Halt.”

Amy’s solemn voice shattered my contemplation and brought me back to reality. Holding a knife, I looked at Amy.

With clear eyes, Amy drew her sword and spoke.

“The scent of blood. Everyone, prepare for battle.”

In that moment, the atmosphere of everyone present changed.

Above Parsley’s head, a magical array had already emerged, and Clara was emitting a subtle light all over her body.

Even Irene, who had been watching me with curious eyes, pulled out a strange tool with a sharp gaze.

I, too, tightened my grip on the hilt of the knife and guarded the rear.

In this way, we advanced with a vigilance that wouldn’t even let a passing mosquito escape.

“Hmm…”

We discovered sorcerers lying in the middle of the corridor.

Each of them had a hole pierced through their necks.