I Possessed the Villain in the Lily Novel

227 – Hero (11)

Beep!

The sound of an alarm clock ringing like it would wake my brain. The sound I always heard every morning.

The roar awakened the mind, and the mind followed the lazy body.

I lifted the blanket and stood up.

At the same time, I felt a sense of discomfort and discomfort that I couldn’t shake off.

“Did you have a wet dream…?”

Fortunately, the lower abdomen was fine.

Although he was asserting himself in a healthy way, he was just showing off and was silent, not making any comments.

Why is this guy acting like he wants? Maybe that’s why I feel like shit when things don’t work out the way I thought.

Hmm, interesting.

A burst of laughter flowed out.

At that moment, I felt a sense of discomfort.

‘I think something like this has happened once before… ‘

I can’t believe I’m holding my dick and laughing heartily since the morning breeze. If I did something so crazy, there was no way I wouldn’t remember it.

Because I’m normal.

I was leading a stable life in a stable family. Until now, I have never experienced pain so severe that it affected my life.

There was no reason to become mentally ill, nor to have distorted s*xual impulses or values.

Even though he only lived to be a few years old, his life was definitely a happy one.

I was a happy person.

“…?”

My thoughts did not lead me to peace, but only amplified the feeling of discomfort that welled up like fire and moisture.

What is the problem? What was wrong with my thoughts just now that caused this awkwardness?

“Oh, this was the problem.”

As I continued to think, I quickly came to one conclusion.

“How do happy people feel happy?”

It’s strange that I feel happy.

Happy people don’t know that others are happy.

“You would think it would be obvious.”

The feeling of discomfort leads to intuition, which soon leads to a strong sense of inferiority.

“Proud people will think that what is given to them is taken for granted…!”

Soon we reach a conclusion.

“…What the fuck.”

I remembered the contents of the dream.

To be precise, I am still dreaming.

“Lilia, you crazy b*stard.”

A world of dreams arranged by the devil.

A world so happy that your head becomes a flower garden.

I am away there.

**

“You are the people in my dreams.”

“…?”

Early morning. I conveyed what I had learned to my parents in a moderate way.

I know you won’t believe it.

Of course, this conversation won’t free me from my dream.

It’s different from the last time, when I woke up as soon as I realized this was a dream. Even though I clearly recognize that this world is an illusion, escape is still far away.

The reason can be guessed.

Because Lilia is planning to make me sit here completely.

In fact, my memories of reality are fading as time passes.

The facts realized volatilize and disappear.

This place must be a dream, but only the memories of reality are fading like a dream.

Lilia’s intentions are clearly visible.

If I continue to stay in my dream like this for a few days, I will lose my memories of reality again and live a normal life.

So we need to say more.

“…”

In order to make my resolve clear, I made my situation known by even saying unnecessary things.

“…I see.”

My father looked puzzled for a moment, then smiled softly and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Are you okay. In modern society, mental illness is like a common cold that anyone can experience. Is studying very difficult these days?”

“No.”

“Don’t worry. Because I will understand my son no matter what illness he suffers from. There is a teacher I know well… “

“No.”

The parents’ expressions were the same as before, as if they thought it was just a joke. Rather, he seemed to be worried about me with a lukewarm gaze, perhaps because he thought it was my son’s teenage rebellion.

“You’re saying some new bullshit again today.”

The discussion at the table ended with my mother’s ridicule.

I thought this commotion would end like that.

“You don’t have to go to school today.”

Is this a punishment for my son who showed early signs of mental illness? My parents ordered me to refuse to go to school.

“Get some rest. See you later in the evening.”

“We’ll tell the school well.”

My mother stroked my head once and went to work. My father patted my shoulder vigorously and followed my mother with a soft smile.

The living room suddenly became quiet.

“…You didn’t feel like it was a joke?”

I lay on the sofa and guessed what my parents were thinking. But all I could think of was their warmth.

I was determined to go out into reality, but every time I confirm the existence of my parents like this, my heart weakens.

If I really had parents, would I have felt this way?

Were they people who raised me, worried about me, scolded me when I crossed the line sometimes, shared hobbies with me, shared food with me, and loved me?

“Ha.”

I laughed out loud. If they were really like that, they wouldn’t have abandoned me in the first place.

The thought that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to just settle down never leaves my head.

Why am I trying to pursue this dream in the first place?

Is it all just fake? This is not a simple reason.

Even fakes have their own value, and lies that are infinitely close to the truth are virtually meaningless in distinguishing them from the truth.

All I have to do is lose my memory of reality. Then, this world will create a peaceful and happy atmosphere again.

There is no need to fight for your life with someone, feel hungry, or struggle to sleep.

All the pain you have experienced so far will disappear like smoke.

A line of contradiction was drawn as the desire to go out into reality and the desire to settle down in a dream were in conflict.

Memories gradually become blurred, and the mind becomes complicated. Fatigue builds up rapidly.

Before I knew it, my eyelids became heavy.

‘But I still can’t sleep… ‘

My eyes close.

“Shiva.”

What made me open my closed eyes was someone mumbling a curse word or a single letter that I couldn’t tell if it was a name.

“Ugh.”

“Ah. Are you awake?”

Have you fallen asleep before you know it? The scenery outside the window, which had been green until now, had now turned into a sunset, and my friend was sitting in the living room where I was alone, watching TV.

“…”

Is it because of the word Shiva that this guy said earlier? Hearing what was my name in the past brought back vivid memories of reality.

I thought I would freeze and lose my memory when I fell asleep, but I was fortunate.

“The name of this leadern god. ‘Shiba’. Isn’t it fun? “It’s funny every time I hear it.”

On TV, a famous humanities scholar was explaining leadern mythology. One of them was Shiva, the god of destruction and regeneration.

She chuckled, probably because the tone was funny.

“Oh, right. You skipped school. Why?”

“He’s mentally ill.”

“Hey, then I have to get out too. “I almost went crazy because of you.”

“Why?”

“After only two days of dating, my partner was absent from school and didn’t even tell me why, so wasn’t that a cause for mental illness?”

Lover. Yes, that’s right. In this world, this guy and I are dating. Although it was a fact I clearly knew, thinking about it again made me both proud and dazed.

In this dream, there is everything I have hoped for.

I have parents, a lover, and wealth.

We have everything to live like a human being.

Even if you go out, only hardship awaits you. I don’t have the power to kill the Demon King, and even if I did, it would only be throwing people who are living a happy dream like me back into a painful reality.

Still, I can’t give up the desire to go out.

Why?

“…Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“I forgot what to say because I was looking at your pretty face.”

“You speak really well. “I was just watching TV.”

“That’s not fun. Let’s look at something else.”

“I was already thinking of doing that. Because I just wanted to hear a famous scholar swear on the airwaves. Now that part has passed, there is no reason to hold on.”

She skillfully operated the remote control and flipped through the channels. After a few seconds of fast screen transitions dizzying my eyes, my fingers stopped tapping the channel buttons.

“Oh, let’s look at this. “This is fun.”

An old science fiction movie was airing on the stopped channel.

A story about a protagonist who has lived his entire life in a virtual world, but one day realizes that this world is fake and tries to escape to reality.

It was surprisingly similar to my current situation, so I naturally fell in love with the movie.

When I came to my senses, the movie credits were rolling and it was completely dark outside the window.

“Aren’t you going home?”

“Just a little longer.”

She was still standing in her seat, blankly looking at the letters in the credits.

I stared blankly at the side of her face. No matter how I look at it, her face looks exactly like my first love.

Even though I knew it was fake, even though I knew that Lilia was an imitation created based on my memories, I couldn’t help but feel good about her.

That’s why I asked.

“You know.”

“Huh?”

“What do you think you would do if you were the main character in that movie?”

What kind of answer will the girl I love give?

“What?”

“The main character of that movie had the option of remaining in the virtual world. Do you think you would have escaped if it were you? Or do you think I’ll just stay?”

The answer came back immediately.

“Of course he escaped like the main character in that movie.”

“Why?”

“That side is more romantic.”

A simple answer that even seems ignorant. But that’s why it was also an answer I liked.

Laughter inadvertently escaped at that clear answer.

Truly, she resembles the girl I know.

“Then what about you?”

This time she asked the opposite way.

“If this world is fake, will you get out? Or will it stay the same?”

“Don’t change the conditions subtly. Why are you a story from a movie, and I am a story from the world I live in?”

“That part is fun.”

“That is correct.”

“Then answer me. Do you want to stay? Do you want to go out?”

I was a little worried. Because I wasn’t sure yet. However, unlike the unclear reason, the desire was clear.

“I have to go out.”

I want to go out.

Even if there is only darkness and despair ahead, I want to go out.

Compared to my hesitation, the answer came without hesitation.

“Why?”

She asked not in an argumentative tone, but as if she was truly curious.

“Well… If you ask why…”

Romance. As she defined the reason for her escape with this simple meaning.

I too was able to define it for that simple reason.

“Because I don’t want to be played according to the intentions of the b*stard who created this world.”

The source of my desire.

It was no different from dying.

I don’t fucking want to do what you tell me to do.

“Okay. I’m happy here. Thanks to my parents, thanks to you.”

Everything I have ever wanted is here. There is no dark childhood, youth, or old age here. Life here is happy.

“Even so, I want to go out.”

But if it’s all just someone’s will.

“It’s miserable to live the life someone else has planned for you.”

No need.

“I want to live a human life.”

I am not a slave.

“I want to live my life.”

What I want is people.

Humans with free will.

A person who is free even if he is destroyed.

“Do you want to leave just for that reason?”

“Uh.”

“Even if father and mother disappear?”

“Uh.”

“Even if I disappear?”

That question made me laugh.

-When I die, I will definitely be reincarnated! I come looking for you like a bug! Got it?

In the past, she kept this promise.

“Don’t worry. Even if you disappear and you lose all your memories.”

This time it was my turn to make a promise.

“I’ll come visit you this time.”

Tak.

I quietly closed the book.

“That’s it, Lilia.”

The view outside the window is daytime, not night, and the view with the skyscraper overshadows a simple flower garden. The lover by my side became the devil.

Everything has changed.

I turned over in bed and looked into Lilia’s eyes. Although his eyes seemed cold, he could not hide the anger burning inside.

“This… Crazy b*stard… !”

Lilia said.

“I don’t want to be a hero, and I don’t want to dream! What on earth are you…!”

“What is it?”

I was happy to be able to have a proper conversation for the first time in a long time.

“An anti-social person.”