I Possessed the Heroine’s Teacher

The roast goose was fragrant, tender, and salty, so I kept eating. It was probably because I had been eating tasteless food like before. Does marrying Glacies mean I have to eat such bland food? That would be difficult.

I put the last bone of the goose on the plate, and Melissa smiled and magically removed my plate. She could have just asked a servant to do it, but I was grateful. I drank the melon juice as I thought this.

“So, our little brother, or should I say our son-in-law, what do you think of our princess?”

I was so surprised by the unexpected question that I almost spat out the juice I was drinking.

“What? I’m suddenly your son-in-law?”

“Haha, it’s true, isn’t it? You’re going to marry our princess.”

I wanted to explain, but I had nothing to say. If I said, ‘I don’t want to marry your daughter, and she kidnapped me, causing me trouble,’ blood magic and a giant axe would fly at me. I didn’t think they would believe the truth, so I didn’t say it out loud.

But these two, who usually make fun of people, are calling their daughter a princess. Do even human slaughterers love their daughters?

“Well, our princess said you will be our ‘daughter-in-law’?”

“Did you say that to brother and sister too?”

“Yes, in a letter.”

“Isn’t that cute?”

You idiots, is it cute to make your brother into a daughter-in-law? Do you find it cute to make your daughter a female version of yourself? As expected of a barbarian warrior and a vampire, their heads are messed up. It’s no wonder Glacies is like this when her parents are crazy.

“Why am I being treated as a wife when I’m a man? It’s enough to make me go crazy, brother.”

“That’s probably our fault.”

“What?”

“I used to teach that Northern warriors obtain their wives through struggle. I think she misunderstood that a bit. And the romance novels my wife bought also influenced her.”

The culprit behind the female corruption was right in front of me. I wanted to smash everything, but I couldn’t because I was outnumbered.

“So… it was your fault, brother and sister?”

“Yes! Since she obtained you through struggle, you’re now her wife. What a great warrior’s attitude!”

“Warrior’s attitude, my ass…”

“You wanted to work less and enjoy life, didn’t you, Werner? Then marrying my daughter isn’t a bad choice.”

Now that I think about it, it’s not bad. Since Glacies, who received strict successor training, will handle all the troublesome tasks, I can just lie in the back room and eat bland food.

It’s not bad at all. I can avoid the death flag, and even if Zig tries to do something, Melchior and Melissa, who have a lot of influence, will protect me. The food is extremely bland, but if I become their son-in-law, they might give me the right to use salt and pepper.

This is surprisingly…

“That’s right, our little brother’s dream is to be a housewife. Being the wife of a duke is the highest position in the housewife industry.”

I take back what I said. If I marry them, I won’t be able to endure their ridicule and will hang myself. The in-laws will not only fail to protect the hen, but they will also call me a hen. How can I endure that?

“Damn… How far has the story of the wife spread?”

“Probably all over the North.”

It’s over. From now on, no matter what achievements I make, I’ll be seen as a perverted mage who corrupted a female in the North.

“Haa… This is crazy.”

“What’s wrong, our daughter-in-law?”

Melissa’s mockery was particularly annoying, so I called her the most hated name without thinking.

“Shut up, you old vampire who acts like a child.”

“What did you say, our little brother?”

“Didn’t you hear me? You dress like a child, but your body is old, and your ears are deaf. You’re an old vampire!”

“I’m not an old woman! I have a long lifespan, so I’m old! In human years, I’m 20!”

“Should I use honorifics when I meet a 13-year-old dog?”

“Our little brother really wants to die today, doesn’t he?”

Melissa spread her fingers and launched blood-made spears. If I were hit directly, I would be riddled with holes.

“Light, become my shield.”

A shield made of light formed around me, blocking the attacks. The light shield is indeed a semi-broken skill that provides survival against mages with insane firepower while consuming a lot of mana. But for Werner, this wasn’t a big deal.

“Our old Melissa is getting old, so her eyes are dimming. Her attacks can’t even hit me properly.”

I tried to imitate Werner’s unique teasing style from the game, but it fell short of the original. His teasing style was so irritating that even Buddha would take off his beads and slap him.

Moreover, the person in front of me wasn’t Buddha, but rather a demon in terms of personality and race.

“Our little brother is really trying hard to die…?”

“Yes, but wouldn’t the next one to die be the old lady.”

“Haa… You look like a girl. That’s why our daughter treats you like a wife. Did any men propose to you while I was away?”

“This old lady is crossing the line. Should we have a proper fight?”

“Yes, if you’re angry, we should just fight like this, right?”

How can someone insult someone’s face by saying they look like a girl? Just because I teased her a little about her age. Today, I will judge this demon and report my achievements to Buddha and God. Then, I will receive the title of Demon Slayer from them.

To obtain the title of Demon Slayer, I gathered my mana and raised my hand.

“Flame Spear…”

Melissa’s eyes turned red, and a large amount of blood gushed out from her back, forming the shape of wings.

“Let’s fight until just before death, little brother.”

As expected, the demon reveals its true self. The Lord does not acknowledge the existence of vampires, so repent and go to the Lord’s embrace. And then go and get beaten with a cross.

“…Pierce and burn the enemy.”

“My blood, cut and kill the enemy.”

Just as our magic was about to collide, two shadows stepped in between us. Who dares to interfere with my holy mission to slay the demon?

As the dust cloud from the explosion cleared, I saw Brother Melchior holding the flame spear I had cast. How did he grab that hot spear with his bare hands? In the game, his magic defense was ridiculously high, and it shows here too.

“Calm down, Werner.”

“Yes, brother…”

I glanced behind Brother Melchior’s giant body and saw Glacies standing there.

And the blood feathers Melissa had launched were blocked, as red fragments were densely embedded in the ground. If they had hit each other, they would have been seriously injured. This is how mages fight. They deal heavy damage to each other and then recover, and the one who doesn’t die wins.

Glacies sheathed her sword and spoke in a cold voice.

“Please refrain from fighting in the mansion, mother.”

“But that bastard called me an old lady first!”

“And even if she’s my mother, I won’t stand by if she lays a hand on my wife.”

If I were a woman, I would have been charmed by these lines, but I’m a man.

I’m a man, and Glacies is a woman.

Moreover, even if she’s her mother, I can’t tolerate her threatening Melissa with a sword. The genes of the comic book version of the ‘Mind and Body Book’ and the Confucian blood flowing in me don’t accept such immorality. Melissa landed on the ground and began to tremble, looking at the ground.

“Glacies, no matter how I think about it, that was too much. Even if she’s your mother, such an attitude…”

But something unexpected happened. Melissa suddenly flew towards Glacies and patted her head.

“Now you know how to threaten… Our princess has really grown up.”

What did she say? She’s happy that her daughter threatened to stab her for a men? And she’s grown up? Does the North wish for their daughter to walk the path of Arthas?

And Brother Melchior took off the tablecloth and began to wipe his tears. Of course, he would be sad seeing his daughter like this.

“Yes, our daughter has really grown up…”

This family is crazy. Because of them, their daughter treats a man like a wife.