I Possessed the Heroine’s Teacher

I woke up to a strange ceiling. Of course, the ceiling always felt strange and shitty every time I played mobile games, but not this one. The ceiling above my head was unfamiliar.

A stone ceiling, no matter how I thought about it, seemed awkward. Like the word ‘LG Twins winning the championship’ (Korean soccer game, they didn’t win anything in 29 years). Come to think of it, if they had won the championship, the liquor they had promised to open would have turned into vinegar by now.

The ceiling of my house was made of wood. Did the ceiling monster, which was a grass type, evolve into a rock type?

Looking at the wall, I was in a cage. It wasn’t a prison, because there was no guard, and across from me was a young girl trembling in fear.

No matter how I thought about it, it didn’t make sense to lock up a young girl in a prison. If they were locking up people regardless of their age or gender, there was only one possibility.

“Shit, I must have been drunk and caught by a slave trader.”

So, I was robbed of my life, not my bag or wallet. If this continues, my virginity might be at risk.

Just you wait, my body may be conquered, but my mind will never surrender!

“Ugh, my head hurts…”

The hangover hadn’t completely worn off, but I decided to calmly recall what happened yesterday.

Yesterday, I ran away from home because I was embarrassed by the magic name that the 14-year-old Werner made.

Then I went to a bar and drank rum like crazy… and then I ordered wine and drank that like crazy too.

Now, after drinking and passing out, I was caught by a slave trader, and my one-line review of this situation was:

“Kwehwehwehwehwehwehweh!”

I really want to have some bean sprout and pollack soup to cure my hangover. My stomach hurts so much that I’m throwing up. Something sour from my stomach acid stings my nose.

If only I had some of the stew that Iris made. It looked like goblin vomit, but it was surprisingly good for hangovers.

I lay down on the bed, thinking about such useless things. The bed was surprisingly comfortable, so I thought I’d take a little more nap.

Honestly, I wasn’t worried at all. I’m one of the top three wizards on the continent, so what’s there to be afraid of?

Unless I’m wearing a dedicated restraint that seals my magic, I can just use magic to escape.

Jingle

“What the fuck?”

I looked at my ankles and saw that I was wearing red restraints. Damn, I was wearing magic-sealing restraints. Why is the restraint guy here?

But why did they put it on my ankles? I haven’t touched a minor yet… Come to think of it, according to the age calculation here, Iris was just an adult.

Even though I’m doing a tightrope walk with three women, I’m not the type to wear an ankle bracelet.

“Fuck, let me out!”

I was gripped by the fear that I might be sold to the Orc Queen and end my life as a stud.

I shook the cage, but it didn’t budge. Werner’s pure strength is quite strong, so it must have been built with great craftsmanship by the construction company.

Why didn’t they embezzle the construction cost and make it a little sloppy? They unnecessarily showed great craftsmanship and made it difficult to escape.

Where did the spirit of embezzlement of this era go!!! Where did the spirit of embezzlement of this era go!!!

Shoddy construction, embezzlement of construction costs, and the boss running away with the money.

These are the three virtues to keep in mind when doing construction work in the country I live in.

“You construction guild bastards!!! If I get out of here, I’ll tear your limbs apart!!!”

If it’s a medieval fantasy, it should follow the medieval style. The quality should be bad, and there should be no innovation because they always make the same thing. Why is this cage stronger than modern-day South Korea?

There must be a Steve Jobs of the cage industry in the construction guild, though I don’t know who it is. I firmly vowed to break his neck. Since geniuses die young, you, who brought innovation to the cage industry, must also die young.

I was tired of shouting, so I sat down quietly, and all sorts of random thoughts came to my mind.

Who will buy me…

The Orc Queen, who was mentioned first, is the main heroine position. I’ll just commit suicide right away.

The perverted noble man who likes men is another candidate, if I get caught by him, I’ll commit suicide right away.

At that moment, the cage opened, and two people-like beings, wrapped in robes from head to toe, entered. I’ll call them people-like beings because they might be elves or other races, not humans.

By the way, slave traders wrapped like this… I’ve seen them somewhere before. Mostly in adult games…

“Fuck, do you have tentacles? Or are you guys here to tattoo me with some weird shit?”

Guys like these always pull out their tentacles and violate the female protagonist. Or they’re black magicians who tattoo weird things.

“Fuck, kill me! I don’t care about my life!”

I wanted to say this line at least once, even though I’m not a princess knight. Strangely, when I say this line, they don’t kill me. Even in historical dramas, when they say ‘Please kill me!’, they don’t kill them.

“Don’t come any closer! I can shoot!”

Even though I shouted like crazy, they approached me and stopped in front of me.

Just as I thought I was going to die, They handed me a wooden bowl. What is this, poison?

“It’s food. Eat it quietly.”

They just came to give me food, and I was the one making a fuss. Damn, I’m so embarrassed. It’s all because of that fucking Steve Jobs of the construction guild.

I seriously considered whether to turn his neck to the left or to the right when I get out of here. I gulped down the soup given by the slave trader.

“Huh?”

Why is this so delicious? Even a food critic, would smile like a Buddha and praise this soup. If I just add noodles to this, I could sell it in a store with a One Piece figurine.

Moreover, I was craving a warm soup because my stomach hurt, and this thin soup, not thick, was just what I wanted. I decided that if I escaped from here and killed all the slave traders, I would spare the cook.

As my stomach filled up, the stomachache disappeared. Soup is the best for a hangover.

“Damn it…”

I sighed involuntarily.

What should I do now? A great wizard caught by slave traders… even a passing dog would laugh at this. They don’t seem to know my identity, though.

If Iris finds out about this, she’ll definitely make fun of me for 10 years.

“Haha, Master, aren’t you ashamed of being caught by slave traders?”
“Hey, I should have saved up my allowance and bought you as a slave master! Then I could just…”
“Hey, there goes the master who was caught by the slave traders! Who is the master now?”

I don’t even need to see a video to know what will happen. I got angry just thinking about the scene, and I hit the wall hard.

Okay, let’s use wisdom.

In movies, when someone has a stomachache and collapses, their companion calls a doctor, and when the guard opens the door and comes in, the companion subdues the guard and escapes.

The problem is that I don’t have such a companion. This is why Luffy gathered companions.

I went back to the cage and shouted.

“Hey! Or should I say, Someone! My stomach hurts, please call a doctor!”

Life is a solo journey, so if you don’t have a companion, you play solo. And I actually prefer single-player games.

The slave trader who approached me said.

“Why do they always have a stomachache on the day they’re caught? Please try to hurl somewhere else, I’m really tired of this.”

So, it’s not just me, but other seniors also use this method. I felt a little proud that those who have been imprisoned from ancient times to the present have followed the long tradition of suddenly complaining of stomachaches.

“I’m really in pain! What if I shit my pants during the slave auction? Buyers wouldn’t want to buy a slave who shits his pants, would they?”

I wouldn’t buy a slave who shits his pants either. I’d rather buy an elf slave. Come to think of it, is that also dangerous?

“Don’t worry, there’s someone who wants you.”

“What?”

“There’s a person who wants to buy you and has put a bounty on you nationwide.”

Damn, there’s already a reservation before the official sale. I’m not even a new iPhone.

“Who is it?”

“The Grand Duke of the North, Glacies Winterheart.”

Damn… it’s Werner’s fiancée.

I blamed Werner’s father, who is also his companion.

“Brother, you really raised your daughter wrong…”

Both Zig and his brother raised their daughters like shit.