I Planned a Su*cide Mission and Got Kicked Out of the Party

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Walter awoke from a dream where a corpse he died with in the non-member called his name, begging for him to save it.

Struggling to suppress his scream, the Hero shot up from bed, momentarily staring blankly into the darkness with a shocked expression before uttering a single phrase.

“I wonder if Rose is okay…”

His first thought was about his beloved, who shared the same horrific experience as he had within the charred castle walls. Rose’s heart was as strong as her ironclad physique, but both Walter and Rose were aware they were merely human, each with their own weaknesses.

As he struggled to shake the screams that echoed like a name in his ears, Walter slowly crawled out of bed. Above all, a good rest was crucial the day before the expedition, but it felt impossible to fall back asleep.

He took out a match, lit a lamp, and sat at his desk, pondering whether he had taken on a role that was too grand for him. A Hero must be prepared for anything. No matter what death or tragedy he witnesses, he shouldn’t be burdened by feelings beyond sorrow and rage.

How could one who is gripped by fear at merely witnessing a death even dare to claim the title of Hero?

“Forget it, forget it. I must move on. For now, I have to lead.”

To calm himself, Walter took his glasses from the pocket of his pajamas and put them on. These glasses often put a major strain on his brain, leading to fatigue, but they also significantly helped to clear the dizzying chaos in his mind.

It felt somewhat like being addicted to a drug, but still, Walter couldn’t help but rely on these glasses to steady his mind whenever he needed it.

Sitting at his desk with his eyes wide open, Walter thought it was far too boring to do nothing until dawn. Just lying back in bed made him feel like the charred corpse would crawl back, crying out for him to save it, leaving him with no option but to stay awake.

“Manhattan…”

As he contemplated whether to sit quietly and observe something, a thought about Park Jeongjae’s secret weapon slipped through his mind.

He took out the key, opened the desk drawer, and pulled out all the ‘Manhattan’ scrolls. The more he read them, the more he realized they were utterly useless.

It was impossible to reduce their power or minimize the amount of essential mana needed. When multiple people’s mana mixes, setting coordinates becomes impossible, and the only one who possesses the required mana to activate this spell is Park Jeongjae, who has already consumed his life force.

“But if this is still the answer…”

Walter took out another match, lit it, and then set fire to all of the ‘Manhattan’ copies except for two. In an instant, the scrolls turned to ashes in the Hero’s hands, leaving only a single original and a copy behind. The Hero sighed deeply while looking down at the remaining scrolls with complicated feelings.

“This is terrifying. I’m afraid. The uncertain future I cannot comprehend, the fate I cannot understand, it’s frightening.”

At some point, Walter realized that his hand holding the scroll was trembling.

But perhaps he was not mistaken. Right now, his actions regarding the Grand Mage friend would eventually reveal themselves to be correct. Because that was his choice—calculated and accepted.

“What the hell are you scheming, Demon King…”

As Walter Hellhound swallowed hard while placing the two scrolls back into the drawer, he heard a light knock on his door.

The Hero peeked outside the window. It clearly wasn’t the time for anyone to be awake. With a slight tension in preparation for a potential assault, Walter slowly approached the door and took hold of the doorknob.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me. So you’re awake after all.”

It was Rose’s voice. Walter exhaled in relief as he opened the door. Standing outside was Rose Caprice, looking up at him while dressed in pink pajamas.

“What’s going on, Rose?”

“I got thirsty and got up for a bit, and I saw light coming from your room. So I came to check if something happened.”

Hearing this, Walter glanced over at the window. It was true; he was positioned such that Rose could see the light from his room through her window.

“Nothing’s going on. We have the expedition tomorrow. You should get some sleep.”

As Walter turned back to Rose and shrugged, Rose gazed at him with a disapproving expression and furrowed her brows.

“Did you have a nightmare? You look terrible.”

“Well, if you’re not planning to go back, want to come in and chat? It feels a bit weird talking here.”

“How sneaky of you.”

Despite trying to pin a false accusation on Walter, Rose didn’t seem put off as she hopped into his room. Walter walked slowly back to the desk and sat down, while Rose perched lightly on the edge of his bed.

Leaning against the light of the lamp, they faced each other, and Rose was the first to speak.

“So, what was your dream about?”

“I want to ask you the same. Rose, don’t you have any tormenting dreams?”

Walter shot back, although responding to a question with a question wasn’t very polite. Nevertheless, Rose took a moment to think and replied.

“We’re in the midst of a war. The lives we’ve taken and the souls that linger around us are too many to count. It’s only natural to have nightmares for a day or two.”

“But what if it’s not just one or two days? What if it feels like they just don’t want to leave me alone and wish to drag me away?”

“You’re dreaming about the charred castle.”

Rose accurately pinpointed the essence of his worries. Walter nodded in a daze.

“How were you so sure?”

“Because you were making that same expression today. A face filled with fear and uncertainty, like a coward. Adorable. Was the remains you saw that scary?”

Walter couldn’t help but chuckle at Rose’s words.

“You’re the only one who can say such things to me.”

“Then you should tell me a story no one else can hear but me.”

Rose slightly rose her behind and moved closer to Walter. As Walter tensed up, Rose boldly approached and lightly pressed her lips against his.

“Tell me a story that only I can hear, knowing this side of you.”

“Rose…”

Walter raised a trembling hand to remove his glasses. The moment he clearly caught sight of his beloved, the fact that he had taken off Harriet’s glasses didn’t bring about any significant change in his feelings.

He wasn’t anxious. The whispers that had haunted him in the midnight hours no longer echoed in his ears.

“Is it okay for me to be… afraid? These glasses, this Holy Sword, this position, are they suited for someone who feels no fear? For example, for someone who isn’t even afraid of their own downfall? Don’t you think such a person deserves it? Is it wrong for me to think this way? Tell me, Rose. Can I keep moving forward with this weak heart of mine?”

Before answering, Rose lightly pecked his forehead with her lips. Walter felt warmth flow through him from that touch and trembled all over.

Only after Rose’s warmth flowed into him did he realize that he had been psychologically experiencing hypothermia.

“The one who fears nothing,”

Rose spoke.

“Is someone who has nothing precious to cherish. You can’t cherish something while being unafraid. In my opinion, the man you’re talking about seems like he can’t claim this world as his own. How could someone like that be suitable to take the title of Hero over you?”

“Maybe the world requires a bit of that cold-heartedness.”

“The age of the ruthless hero is over. Such a hero could bind a divided Empire with sheer force, but they can’t lead a united Empire against an absolute evil. Why do you think I love you?”

This time, Rose pressed her lips against Walter’s cheek, gently and playfully.

“Because you’re handsome and have the honor of a Hero?”

“Oh, those superficial things are everywhere. Do you know? No matter how much you underestimate me, I’m someone who could easily choose a man left with nothing but a shell.”

“How could I ever look down on you, Crown Princess?”

“How ridiculous. You used to act like the entire world was beneath your feet.”

“Even if I really put the world beneath my feet,” Walter said with his lips tightly sealed, “I could never look down on you. If I hadn’t met you… if you hadn’t chosen me…”

“The reason I love you is that you are someone who knows how to love everything worth loving.”

Rose hugged Walter tightly. The soft sensation that seeped through the thin pajamas took Walter’s breath away.

“You taught me why I need to love this Empire, when I thought it was my destiny to protect my country merely because of my responsibilities as a princess and the blessings of the Iron Wall. The more time I spend with you, the more I find myself loving everything about this land. The more I’m with you, the more I fear losing what’s within my grasp.”

Rose loosened her embrace and set the Hero free. Walter looked up at his beloved with a dizzy expression, his face flushed.

“Thank you for teaching me what fear is. Thank you for making me a better person. I’m glad that the man who gathers everyone with sincerity, not just the power of these glasses, is you. You don’t think everyone follows you just because you give the right answers thanks to those glasses, do you?”

“I… I thank you, Rose.”

With his heart nearly settled, perhaps feeling different kinds of excitement now, Walter spoke shyly. Rose grinned, a playful smile breaking across her face as she stuck out her tongue.

“If you acted this cute normally, I’d spoil you endlessly. Why do you keep trying to make me mad?”

“But you’re the one insisting I show a side of me that only you can see!”

“Really, if you can’t even say that, then!”

Unable to contain herself, Rose pecked Walter on the lips once more. A deep kiss that seemed to say, ‘Don’t say another word,’ merged their lips, and for a moment, their tongues intertwined before they gazed at each other breathlessly.

“You really… are captivating.”

Walter said. Rose playfully stuck her tongue out, which had just been touching Walter’s.

“How’s that? Do you think you can sleep a bit? We’re heading out at dawn.”

“At least, I don’t think the screams of the restless spirits will be disturbing my sleep now.”

Rose nodded with a satisfied expression at Walter’s words. The imperial princess, wearing a thoughtful face for a moment, brought forth a suggestive proposal with a meaningful look.

“If you think you won’t be able to sleep due to the spirits bothering you, how about sleeping with me tonight? I can sing you a lullaby.”

Although the restless spirits no longer tormented the Hero, Walter nodded in a daze, accepting her proposal.

As they lay together in bed, they looked at each other and simply slept.

Truly, they only slept. Sleep was essential for the expedition the next day.