46.
46.
It wasn’t unusual for Sehun to walk around shirtless, but strangely, his shoulders were tense. Jian swallowed hard as he looked up at Sehun.
An odd atmosphere filled the room. Jian intentionally smiled brightly. He didn’t want Sehun to hear his heart beating faster.
Usually, Sehun would have smiled back, but this time he approached slowly with a calm, composed face.
The distance between them disappeared step by step. Jian felt a sudden urge to step back but forced himself to stay put.
“I want to sleep with you after a long time. Is that okay?”
Sehun asked, standing close enough for their toes to almost touch. Jian looked towards the window. There were no raindrops, no thunder, no lightning.
The bright moon was probably hanging in the sky. Even after they started using separate rooms, Sehun would often come to Jian’s room on gloomy days.
The weather is fine today, so what’s going on?
“Of course. Certainly.”
However, instead of complicated thoughts, Jian smiled brightly and patted the spot next to him on the bed.
They lay side by side on the bed with only the bedside lamp on. Jian, who had been staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, turned to his side.
His nose wrinkled at the gaze that immediately met his, as if Sehun had been looking at him all along.
“Were you scared to sleep alone?”
“Yes.”
It was a playful question, but the answer came back immediately. Jian chuckled and gently stroked Sehun’s bangs, who had now taken the same position as him.
“You’re about to be an adult the day after tomorrow, but what should I do with our Sehun still being so clingy to his hyung?”
While saying this, Jian felt just as uneasy when Sehun wasn’t by his side. He had thought about safely raising Sehun until he became an adult.
He repeatedly told himself that if he could cover Sehun’s unhappy childhood memories with happy ones, the original story would flow differently.
Fortunately, Jian’s efforts paid off. Sehun, who once didn’t know how to properly express his feelings and had suddenly imprisoned Hyunsu, was now different.
However, their relationship was now extremely peaceful. The only puzzling thing was that Sehun didn’t seem to particularly like Hyunsu.
While they were indeed best friends, there was no typical reaction one would show towards someone they liked.
Was it because they had been close since such a young age that Sehun was slow to realize his feelings?
Still, Jian felt somewhat relieved that Sehun probably wouldn’t imprison Hyunsu because of his feelings anymore.
Even if such a thing were to happen, Jian felt that he could persuade Sehun to listen to him.
While Jian was busy with his positive thoughts, Sehun gazed at him with lowered eyes. His moving lips kept drawing Sehun’s attention.
The loose T-shirt revealed Jian’s collarbone and upper chest. The straight, deep collarbone, the straight shoulders, the white skin – everything stimulated Sehun’s vigorous libido.
Every time he saw Jian becoming so defenseless in front of him, Sehun felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff.
Even if Sehun showed his naked body, Jian would only exclaim softly in admiration. There was no sign of the same desire Sehun felt in Jian’s round eyes.
Sehun took the hand that was stroking his hair and interlocked their fingers. At some point, Jian’s hand had become smaller than his. Unlike his growing desire day by day.
“Hyung… when I become an adult, do you want me to distance myself from you?”
He was already grown up. Due to the aftermath of experiments he underwent as a child, he had been thinking like an adult since he was a ten-year-old kid.
He only acted his age because he knew his appearance was good for getting into Jian’s heart.
What’s the big deal about becoming an adult? Jian kept attaching a lot of meaning to the fact that his age would soon be twenty.
So Sehun had to change his mind. If he did what he wanted to do now, Jian would probably be greatly shocked. But what about when he becomes an adult?
Even if he were to be devoured by the child he raised like a younger brother, wouldn’t Jian secretly find comfort in the thought that at least he wasn’t a minor?
They say patience bears sweet fruit.
He planned to express his feelings little by little once he became an adult. If he revealed everything from the start, the faint-hearted Jian might faint.
But Jian kept testing his patience. Regardless of age, Jian had always been someone Sehun wanted to possess.
The thought of wanting to devour Jian from head to toe had been there since he was much younger than now.
Jian shook his head slightly at the suddenly heavy atmosphere. The hand that was stroking Sehun’s hair was now fiddling with his earlobe. The soft sensation was exactly the same as when he was young.
“Of course not. I’m just… preparing myself mentally.”
Although Sehun still thought his hyung was the best, Jian had read the original story.
Even if the flow had changed a lot, Sehun liking Hyunsu was bound to happen someday. It was just that the right opportunity hadn’t occurred yet.
In the novel, Sehun didn’t know how to divide his heart – his method was somewhat, no, very extreme. He poured all his heart and attention into Hyunsu. Until Hyunsu finally gave up and accepted his feelings.
When that time comes, moments like this – lying face to face, looking at each other, and chatting softly – might disappear.
Because Sehun’s days would be filled entirely with Hyunsu.
Every time Sehun made new close friends, Jian felt ambivalent.
He felt relieved but also a little regretful. While it was certainly welcome that the child who only looked at him was broadening his world, Jian was already deeply immersed in the blind affection Sehun gave him.
The time had come for both him and Sehun to become independent from each other.
When Sehun turns twenty, Jian will be thirty. It was an age that could be considered both old and young, but not having dated even once at this age was a bit problematic.
Unlike in the past, his life wasn’t destitute, and he had enough money to never work again if he avoided excessive luxury.
Moreover, wasn’t he a building owner, albeit on a small scale? He thought his face was pretty decent too. His height and figure left something to be desired, but he could cover that with his wealth.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t received interest from others, but each time, Jian hesitated because of thoughts about Sehun.
He wanted to focus only on Sehun until the child grew up properly. Until Sehun realized his feelings for Hyunsu and, unlike in the original story, captured Hyunsu’s heart in a normal way.
This was possible because he truly cared for both children.
“Sehun can’t live as hyung’s shadow forever. You should go to college, get a girlfriend, and all that. Me too.”
“…”
Despite already feeling regretful, Jian tried to speak nonchalantly. He didn’t know what kind of response these words were stirring in Sehun’s heart.
A quiet storm raged in Sehun’s eyes.
Jian really was thinking about getting a partner when he became an adult. Doubt turned into certainty, shattering the pieces of Sehun’s hesitant heart.
The time had come to act on what he had only imagined for a long time. Before it was too late, before Jian really found someone to love, before he completely lost his mind.
* * *
What’s this…
In his sleep, Jian kept feeling an itch on his nape and scratched it with his fingertips. He tossed and turned, but when he felt the sensation again after a while, he finally opened his eyes.
“Sehun…?”
The familiar round head was vaguely visible. Only then did Jian remember that last night, Sehun had suddenly come saying he was scared to sleep alone, and they had fallen asleep while talking face to face.
Why is it so itchy? Is it because of Sehun’s hair?
Thinking with his drowsy mind, he reflexively stroked Sehun’s hair. As he did so, he felt sleepy again. He thought he heard a licking sound, but he dismissed it as his imagination.
The next day.
Jian’s lips parted blankly at his reflection in the mirror. His white neck was covered in strange marks.
He leaned closer to the mirror to examine more closely. At first glance, it looked like mosquito bites, but there were no swollen marks on the skin.
He tilted his head, wondering if bruises could be this small, as they had a slight purple tint.
He narrowed his eyes at the familiar yet unfamiliar feeling. The itchy sensation he felt in his sleep came back to him.
Are there bugs in the house…
Although he didn’t feel itchy now, he had definitely felt it in his sleep. He touched the red marks with his fingertips, then came to his senses and washed his face.
After drying his dripping face by pressing a towel against it, he went out and saw Sehun drinking water in front of the refrigerator.
“Sehun, do you have marks like this on your body too?”
If it were bugs, they wouldn’t have bitten only him, so he intended to check Sehun’s body too.
Sehun turned his head while it was tilted back. His pitch-black eyes were directed precisely at Jian’s nape.
His prominent Adam’s apple moved up and down greatly. Jian approached Sehun while touching his nape.
“I’m not sure if there are bugs in the house, or if I scratched myself in my sleep. My neck kept itching while I was sleeping yesterday.”