43.
43.
The resolution made in his younger days only grew stronger as time passed. While some emotions fade with time, Sehun felt like he was going mad with an ever-growing thirst.
“Hyung is really stupid. He doesn’t know anything.”
Every time he realized that Jian loved him but only thought of him as a younger brother, Sehun felt suffocated. Today too, seeing Jian smile at others instead of him, a sticky, tar-like emotion covered his heart.
Jian was everything to him. He was nothing without Jian. It made him anxious that Jian shone brightly even without him.
He knew that Jian’s feelings for Seonjun were still just those for a new guild member who needed looking after. Even blinded by jealousy, the difference in affection in Jian’s eyes when looking at him versus Seonjun was clear.
But there was no guarantee this affection would continue forever. What if someone more precious than him appeared in Jian’s life?
The affection for a younger brother and the love given to a lover are clearly different. All of Sehun’s emotions were tied to Jian, but unlike him, Jian got along well with everyone.
He knew Jian had picked him up because of his kind nature, but now that very nature was choking him.
Sehun raised his upper body and slowly lowered his head. The round nostrils tickled the tip of his nose.
The clear face was sleeping peacefully in the darkness. The slightly parted lips were red like tempting fruit.
Hot breath very carefully brushed over the parted lips.
Suppressing the urge to kiss again, Sehun closed his eyes. Then he hugged Jian’s body and gently stroked the round back of his head.
“Mmm…”
The body, stirring in sleep, snuggled into his arms. Blue veins momentarily appeared prominently on the back of Sehun’s hand.
He could still… hold back.
Because he was still the most precious and closest person to Jian. Because he was still too young to do anything deeper than stolen kisses.
He had to approach carefully so that Jian wouldn’t be surprised and run away. Jian’s perception of him as a younger brother who needed protection couldn’t change overnight.
“…Love only me, hyung. Think about me all day. Like I do.”
Sehun whispered softly, rubbing his cheek against the crown of Jian’s deeply sleeping head. He could never hurt Jian. But others were different.
There were no exceptions. If Jian loved Hyunsu more than him, he would erase that guy’s existence from the world without hesitation.
He only hoped that the moment when this ugly yet desperate feeling was revealed would never come.
Because if it did, he might really hide Jian somewhere no one knew. Until Jian accepted his feelings.
A flash of light settled on the face closing its eyes while listening intently to Jian’s breathing.
The moment when he could no longer hold back was slowly approaching.
* * *
“Hic…”
“…Hyung, are you crying?”
Jian turned his head in surprise at the small sound of breathing beside him. They were on their way to see off the kids taking the college entrance exam.
After the children entered the middle school building where the exam was being held, with faces showing no sign of tension, Hyunwoo immediately buried his face in his palms. Then came the sound of him drawing in a breath.
Jian asked with a sinking feeling, but teardrops were glistening in the corners of Hyunwoo’s eyes, barely hidden by his hands.
“No, why… Is it because you’re worried Hyunsu might not do well on the exam?”
But as far as Jian knew, Hyunwoo hadn’t really cared about Hyunsu’s test scores, whether he did well or not.
After Hyunsu had major surgery due to a weak heart as a child, Jian thought Hyunwoo just wanted Hyunsu to grow up healthy.
It was something Jian learned a little while after meeting them. That Hyunsu had been homeschooled instead of going to school because he was weak. That Hyunwoo had taken on the role of both parents for Hyunsu since their parents had passed away early.
“No… It just suddenly hit me how much Hyunsu has grown…”
At the voice slowly flowing out as if choked up, Jian bit his lip as emotions welled up in him too.
It felt like Hyunwoo’s current emotions were flooding into him as well. Jian looked at the school building where the children’s shadows could no longer be seen.
Suddenly, the passage of time felt real. To think that a child who didn’t even reach his waist was now taking the college entrance exam. In other words, it meant that less than two months remained until the child became an adult.
He had begged for them to grow up slowly, but now it was time to let the child be independent.
“Stop crying. Hyunsu will be surprised to see your eyes swollen when he comes out later.”
Jian patted Hyunwoo’s back to console him, even though his own eyes had reddened without him realizing. Who would have thought he’d see his usually sly hyung crying like this.
“You’re right. Are you going to the cafe?”
“Yeah, I should. It’ll be a while before the kids finish their exam anyway. What about you?”
“I should go do some work and come back. Shall we meet here again later then?”
“Yes, let’s do that.”
While some overzealous parents would wait near the building where their children were taking the exam, Jian and Hyunwoo decided to come back to pick up the kids at the end time.
Even while working at the cafe, Jian let out a blank sigh every now and then.
‘…The original story will start soon.’
Many things had changed. Sehun and Hyunsu had become the best of friends, and Sehun had many good people around him besides Jian.
Even though the point where Gong and Su first met had changed, so it wouldn’t flow exactly like the original story, Jian still felt uneasy deep inside.
‘But there’s no way our Sehun would become a villain.’
Jian shook his head to clear his thoughts. All this time, Jian had tried hard to create good memories for Sehun.
The photos and videos neatly saved in his phone gallery were proof of that. However, the anxiety inherent in his heart seemed like it would only subside long after the original story’s starting point had passed.
He worked busily to shake off his thoughts. Only when the pre-set alarm rang did he realize it was almost time for the college entrance exam to end.
“Jian, over here!”
When he arrived at the school’s main gate, Hyunwoo, who had arrived earlier, waved his hand big. Jian’s steps faltered when he saw the bouquet in Hyunwoo’s arms.
“…What’s with the flowers?”
“The kids worked hard, didn’t they? We should at least take a picture here.”
Jian coaxed his feet, which kept trying to stop, at the sight of two huge bouquets that could almost cover Hyunwoo’s entire upper body.
Wearing a coat that reached below his knees and with his hair neatly swept back from his forehead, Hyunwoo looked more like someone coming to confess his love rather than a parent picking up an exam-taker, especially with the flowers in his hands.
It wasn’t just Jian who thought so; whispers could be heard from the surroundings. Moreover, Hyunwoo’s face was quite well-known to the public due to his position as the Dark Net Guild leader.
“Those bouquets wouldn’t fit in the inventory, would they?”
“Of course not. There’s no dungeon by-product in them.”
He knew. He knew and still asked. He wanted to somehow divert the attention focused on them.
Giving up, Jian stood a step away from Hyunwoo and put both hands in his padded jacket pockets. He had seen articles about the cold wave causing trouble every year during the college entrance exam, but this year the weather was quite autumnal.
Still, there was a chilly feeling when he left his hands outside, so he hunched his shoulders and waited for the exam to end.
I wonder if Sehun did well on the exam. He wasn’t particularly worried because Sehun was generally not one to get nervous, but he might have been tense on the day of the college entrance exam.
Sehun wasn’t particularly ambitious about university. Since he was young, whenever someone asked Sehun about his future dream, the child would say without any hesitation that it was to live with Jian forever.
It was useless to tell him that wasn’t a future dream. Rather, it was Jian who showed interest in Sehun’s grades while pretending not to.
Perhaps it was because he grew up in an environment where studying was out of the question. Jian harbored a vague yearning for the college life he never experienced.
Unlike Jian, who always played around, Sehun often ranked first in his school, so expectations that didn’t exist before began to form.
Knowing Jian’s feelings, Sehun lived up to his duties as a student diligently without causing any trouble.
As he waited for the children to come out with a mixture of worry and expectation, he saw a figure in the distance, a head taller than the other kids.
“Sehun stands out at a glance because he’s so tall. I can’t even see our Hyunsu.”
Even though Hyunwoo was 185 centimeters tall, Sehun had surpassed him around the age of sixteen and was now close to 190 centimeters. On the other hand, Hyunsu was about the same height as Jian.
While he couldn’t be called short by any means, because Sehun, who was always with him, was so tall, many people thought Hyunsu was the younger one when they stood side by side.
“Thank you for today. For packing a lunchbox for our Hyunsu too.”
“Is Hyunsu a stranger? Hyunsu is like my little brother too.”
Hyunwoo thanked Jian, pointing at the pink lunchboxes dangling from the children’s hands. Jian shrugged his shoulders.
Since childhood, Hyunsu had lived at Jian’s house almost every day. There were times when meal times without Hyunsu felt awkward, so Jian thought it was only natural that he should pack the college entrance exam lunchbox.