I Joined the Sentai Heroes Who Were Beautiful Girls Other Than Me but the Heroines Were All Yanderangers

94. Sunflower and Summer Sky

I was immediately able to spot my brother talking in front of an Italian restaurant that seemed easy on the wallet.

“You can get dessert for +200 yen with the lunch set.”

“Eh. I’m not that hungry, Momo.”

“Well, of course you wouldn’t be if you ate all that popcorn. You know I noticed you kept flipping mine over to eat it, right?”

“eeeh? I didn’t do any such thing!”

“No, I’d notice if the flavor suddenly changed to caramel.”

“I wanted something salty.”

“You’ve eaten too much either way.”

“Hmm, but this Hanamaru Ranch Catalana looks delicious, don’t you think?”

“Caramel again? Then let’s split a pizza and order separate desserts.”

“Let’s do that! That’s a great idea, Senpai!”

Their conversation, which I finally overheard, was so natural—they seemed like a perfectly normal couple. I don’t know much about normal couples, but these two were a couple that the word “natural” suited unnaturally well.

My throat constricted for a moment at the sight of the two of them, so commonplace. But I took a deep breath and called out to them. This time, I made sure they couldn’t ignore me.

“Big Brother Sora!!”

“Wha!?”

Their gazes moved from the menu in front of the restaurant to me. I must have raised my voice too much, because the other customers walking nearby glanced in my direction before quickly losing interest and continuing on their way.

“Himawari…? What are you doing here?”

“Himawari-chan, surely you’re not the one…”

My brother realized something as Momoka Sekichou said “surely.” He immediately took out his smartphone. He was probably starting up the ‘location tracking app to monitor me.’

“Hey, Senpai, what’s that…?”

Momoka Sekichou’s face turned pale as she peered at his phone screen.

“A location tracking app just for Himawari.”

That app is incredibly advanced. It’s supposed to automatically save 48 hours’ worth of my location data. My brother said he only uses it in emergencies, but for my brother and his girlfriend, this seems like an emergency.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been following you since this morning.”

There was no way I could lie, and I had no intention of hiding it.

“W-why would you do something like that…?”

“You were following us?”

“I’m sorry.”

My brother and his girlfriend looked at me with confusion rather than disgust. As if to answer their unspoken questions, I quickly explained.

“I’m sorry for getting in your way. But I really needed to know.”

As I took a step, then another, Momoka Sekichou hid behind my brother, looking slightly frightened. She’s much stronger than I am, so what would she do if I suddenly attacked them in a fit of rage? If she just trembles in the background like that, she won’t be able to protect my brother when it matters. If I were her, I would put my brother’s life first, no matter who I was facing.

Of course, I’m not going to attack them. I would never lay a finger on my brother, no matter what he did to me.

“Are you two really dating? When did you start liking each other? I was so curious—it all happened so suddenly. I couldn’t keep up. I really needed to hear an explanation straight from you, Big Brother.”

“An explanation? I mean, I…”

His fist clenched unconsciously. His fingernails dug into the center of his palm.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m acting strangely right now. You must think I’m a bad kid. You must think I’m doing something wrong. I’m getting in the way. But I really, really needed to know. I couldn’t think of any other way to deal with this anxiety.”

The good little Himawari that my brother wants would have accepted his explanation from this morning, heard, and disappeared from their lives. But I couldn’t do that. If I didn’t get a satisfactory answer, I felt like I would go crazy , like I wouldn’t be able to control myself anymore.

“I can’t give up. I can’t accept it. I don’t understand what’s going on.”

“Himawari, what are you saying…”

“B-but. I. My big brother suddenly disappeared, and I. What was I supposed to do?”

I shut my eyes tight. The backs of my eyes gradually grew hot, and tears welled up, threatening to force my eyelids open. Sniffling, I spoke even louder.

“Tell me. Do you… really love her, Big Brother?”

The dam broke, both my words and my emotions. Through my blurry, wet vision, I could see my brother’s face contorted in distress. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t want to make you look like this.

“…Himawari.”

My brother left Momoka Sekichou’s side and came to stand next to me. His soft, calming scent wafted over me, and my heart pounded as if it had come back to life. Just being near him made me happy, even though I knew something terrible was about to happen.

“Big Brother…”

“I’m sorry about this morning. I didn’t explain it properly.”

A gentle, slightly sweet voice whispered in my ear.

“I got a girlfriend, and I suddenly felt like I was being pushed away, so I was lonely… maybe?”

I nodded silently.

“I’m sorry for making you suffer. I confused you with my vague attitude. I got carried away and didn’t look at Himawari properly. I’m really sorry for surprising you.”

I didn’t want him to apologize, but I nodded again.

“Himawari, will you listen to me properly?”

Oh, no. I asked him myself, but now I don’t want to hear it.

“I don’t hate Himawari. I still want you to do your best as a hero and grow up healthily.”

I rubbed my eyes with my arm and looked intently at my big brother.

“But there’s someone I have to cherish… I found someone.”

Big Brother looked at me with serious eyes, and my chest tightened again before my vision blurred with tears.

My big brother, who had become fluffy and blurry, said clearly.

“I’m sorry, I can’t be Himawari’s only big brother.”

I knew it even if he didn’t tell me. I made him say something he didn’t have to say. My chest was filled with guilt.

It was a cruel word that crushed the soft, newborn love in my heart, and a word like a spear that pierced me to make me my big brother’s strong will understand.

“….”

He gave me the words I wanted. As expected, Big Brother understands me. He thinks about me.

But Big Brother doesn’t care about me the most.

“…I see.”

I took a deep breath and added another word as if squeezing it out.

“What do you want me to do, Big Brother?”

I wish you would just tell me to die. If I told him that I had thought that for even a moment, I wonder how sad Big Brother would be. I won’t say it, though. I don’t want to bind Big Brother with guilt.

“I,f I w,ere a cool hero, a,nd healthy, a,nd strong, a,nd could help everyone, w,ould you still be h,appy… even now?”

If I had known I would have this opportunity, I should have practiced my fake smile. I bet he thinks I look weird right now.

“Yeah.”

Big Brother raised his right palm over my head, paused it in the air for a moment, and then returned it to its original position.

“…Okay, I understand.”

I didn’t show him my defenseless head, and I tried to smile as cheerfully as possible.

“Thank you, Big Brother.”

I wanted to say, I’m sorry for interrupting your date, but I didn’t have the energy to act that bravely, so I just bowed deeply and left. I think I saw Tokiwa Uguisu standing far away, looking indescribable, when I looked back, but that’s none of my business.

I just left the place blindly, looking for a place where no one was.

When did it start, or why? I was going to ask him those things, but when I was in front of Big Brother, my feelings were in a mess with the joy of having him within reach and the pain of knowing the truth.

However, Big Brother responded to me with such concern that I didn’t need to ask those questions. He gave me only the words I wanted.

“He’s serious… He’s really in love.”

He seriously pushed me away and seriously apologized to me. It was all because he had fallen head over heels in love with Nadeshiko Sekichou. As if he couldn’t see anything else, as if he had given up on seeing anything else. Like me when I met Big Brother, he understands that just being by her side is happiness.

He cares about her like Big Brother cares about me.

“Then I have no choice but to give up.”

I can understand that he can give up everything for that person. A painful wave of empathy constricted my heart. I wished that Big Brother would cherish me like I cherish him, that he would direct the same strong emotions that I have, which are so hopelessly big and sparkling, towards me. But that hope was in vain.

There is no hope, but I know. That feeling is very happy to have.

“This time, you are really happy…big brother”

When I heard that Tokiwa Nightingale was dating my older brother, I felt that I should be happy if it was my older brother’s happiness. Just like that time, if my brother really loves Sekichuku Momo, I can confidently say that I, who is in the way, should disappear. This time, really, I’d better not be there.

I should disappear. That’s love. Love is not something that hurts the other person, or that hurts the other person, or that demands something unilaterally. It is to do a lot of things that the other person wants to do.

What my brother wants me to do now is to disappear from my brother’s world and save as many people as possible as Philance Yellow in a place unknown to my brother. Erasing Koshiba Himawari and being Philance Yellow is the best and only way I can express my love.

Even if I close my eyes or open them, my brother’s figure floats in my blurred world.

My brother finally gave me a clear answer. I have decided what to do.

I don’t need a reward, I don’t need mutual love, I can be satisfied if I can just convey my love to my brother. I don’t need any leftover love or nameless kindness.

I can be satisfied. That’s my happiness.

“Ahahahaha, I’m hungry…”

Before I knew it, I arrived at the rooftop parking lot, where I could see the summer sky blurred by tears.