I Have Decided to Go Look for My Father

Gripped by fear, Gu Xi’s consciousness went dark again. She couldn’t tell whether she had lost consciousness in her dream or that her body had shut down her consciousness as a self-protection mechanism.

She felt someone walked toward her in the dark.

She seemed to feel a hand on her cheek. It was warm… and felt familiar.

But she couldn’t recall anything.

***

Gu Shao was heading back to his room to turn in after he was done with work but he heard crying coming from Gu Xi’s room when he walked past.

The weeping sound coming from inside the room was not loud, but the fear and desperation inside of it could grip one’s heart.

Gu Shao stopped in his track and frowned a little. He walked toward Gu Xi’s room.

He could still hear the girl crying.

“What’s the matter, Xixi?”

“Xixi?” He called out to her again and knocked on her door.

He didn’t get any response from her.

“I’m coming in.”

Gu Shao hesitated for a few seconds and finally pushed opened the door to Gu Xi’s room.

The light was not on inside the room but he could see Gu Xi lying in bed from the light coming from the hallway. She was curled up into a ball like she was scared of something and she was still weeping. He couldn’t tell whether she was awake or still dreaming.

Gu Shao walked over to her bed.

The light from outside the room casted on Gu Xi’s face. The girl’s eyes were shut tight right now and she was pale with tears all over her face. She was still crying but she didn’t look to be awake.

She seemed to be having a horrible nightmare. Her face furrowed and she looked fearful.

Gu Shao had never seen the girl feeling frightened or aggrieved since the first day that he had met her. His felt his chest tightened.

Leaning down, Gu Shao placed his hand over Gu Xi’s forehead and called out to her a couple more times, trying to wake her up.

“Xixi.”

“Wake up, Xixi.”

Hearing Gu Shao’s voice, Gu Xi’s dream stopped and she woke up slowly from her dream.

Had she had another dream? Who was calling out to her? Was it Gu Shao?

Opening up her eyes groggily, Gu Xi could saw Gu Shao standing in front of her.

She was still a bit dazed having just woke up. She didn’t even think before she threw herself into his arms.

“Mmm, Dad……” Gu Xi started to bawl.

Gu Xi didn’t even cry so hard when she was facing the horrible event by herself but, when she saw Gu Shao, she could no longer control herself.

All of her fear and aggrievance came pouring out that very moment.

Gu Shao felt a little helpless when faced with Gu Xi in her current state ­– he could fear that she was frightened but he had no idea how to comfort her.

As such, all he could do was to pat her on the back of her head and try to say something that would calm her.

“Did you have a nightmare?

“It’s just a nightmare. There’s nothing to worry about.”

***

It wasn’t so much his words but that fact that he was there that calmed Gu Xi. Her trembling body calmed down slowly and her weeping quelled.

Seeing the change in her emotion, Gu Shao let out a sigh of relief. He stroked Gu Xi on her hair again and said to her, “It’s not real. It’s just a nightmare.”

His intention was to comfort her but, as soon as he was finished saying that, he heard Gu Xi rebutting him from his embrace. “It’s real!”

Her voice was very affirmative. Perhaps because she had just cried, her voice was dull and still sounded like she was chocking back her tears.

“It really is real!” Gu Xi tugged at Gu Shao’s clothes and stressed again.

Her insistence upon it made Gu Shao felt somehow helpless but he did not cut her off.

A long while had passed when Gu Xi had finally shook the effects from her nightmare and calmed down completely and returned to her normal self.

She was still holding onto Gu Shao’s clothes with both of her hands. Sniffling, she nuzzled Gu Shao reflexively. She finally looked back up at Gu Shao when she felt that her face was cleaned and repeated, “I’m not lying. Everything in my nightmare is real.”