I Have a Girlfriend in Marvel

Is this the Stark Industries Expo opening ceremony?

Su Ye did the math. When he crossed over, Iron Man had debuted a little over a month of his arrival. Now, three more months have passed. So about four months in total.

In the movie, wasn't the Stark Expo supposed to start six months after Iron Man's debut? Why is it happening earlier?

Is this the butterfly effect of his time travel? Will the subsequent events happen earlier too?

What if Thanos shows up tomorrow, snaps his fingers, and I get wiped out instantly?

Thinking of Thanos, Su Ye suddenly remembered seeing online images of gender-swapped superheroes and villains—Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and even Thanos.

The gender-swapped Thanos had a vibe completely different from the old purple potato snapping his fingers in the MCU. She was seductive yet quirky, with a ridiculously low waistband and defined abs, practically flashing everything.

(See Cover Art for Pic.)

A Thanos like that must be quite the experience.

I wonder if my girlfriend card could draw a female version of Thanos.

If I could summon a female Thanos, we'd take turns snapping. You wipe out half the universe with one snap; I bring them back with mine. You erase them again; I restore them again…

That scene would definitely be… spectacular.

Unfortunately, to get an Infinity Gauntlet Thanos with all six stones, I would need to get a legendary girlfriend card from the ultra-rare rainbow tier.

Right now, it takes Su Ye two months to gather enough for a ten-pull on green-tier cards. For a rainbow-tier ten-pull? It might take him ten years…

The road ahead is long and arduous.

That night, Su Ye and Gwen sat in the stands at the Stark Expo's opening ceremony.

On the central stage, dozens of girls of different skin tones but uniformly curvaceous figures danced energetically in tight, short outfits, each with a bright "headlights" on their chests.

They even had a prop mimicking Iron Man's arc reactor—a literal "headlight."

"Enjoying the view?" Gwen's voice drifted softly from beside Su Ye.

She knew exactly where Su Ye's eyes were wandering. Unlike the dancers, her figure was more modest—just barely a B cup, no match for the C-cup minimum flaunted by those sultry girls.

Su Ye chuckled, "You think I'm staring at their headlights? No, you've got it wrong. These gaudy girls are fleeting. True beauty lies in balance, in depth, not just in size."

And if we're really talking size, none of them can hold a candle to Mai Shiranui. They only win by sheer numbers—curves from every angle, heights and proportions varying wildly, sparking Su Ye's whimsical daydream of being buried in a sea of headlights.

Drawing his gaze back, Su Ye looked up at the sky. "The show's about to start."

The surroundings were brightly lit, fireworks constantly bursting in the sky. The light pollution was so severe that you couldn't see a single star in the filthy heavens.

But with Su Ye's keen eyes, he could see a flash of light shooting out from a transport aircraft in the sky, weaving through the fireworks and heading straight for the expo below.

That light, of course, was Iron Man. Being as flashy as he was, he naturally had to pick the most flamboyant entrance.

What could be more over-the-top than descending amidst a cascade of fireworks? Unless, of course, he accidentally got a face full of sparks.

Su Ye wasn't wrong; the early start of the Stark Expo was heavily influenced by his own debut as Spider-Man.

The egotistical Tony Stark could tolerate being compared to Spider-Man online but couldn't stand not being the center of attention.

Even in New York, a city that wasn't his home turf, he still had to be the brightest star.

The Stark Expo's opening, coupled with this flashy entrance, would soon boost his fame to the next level.

By then, no one would care about debates over whether Spider-Man or Iron Man was stronger.

If Spider-Man wanted to compete with Iron Man, he'd have to come up with an even flashier entrance first.

Tony Stark never conceded to anyone, especially when it came to showing off.

Boom!

Iron Man landed on the stage, dropping to one knee like a god descending from the heavens.

At that moment, the atmosphere in the venue soared to a fever pitch!

"Tony, I love you!"

"Tony, look at me! Awei is dead!" (Internet slang indicating emotional overwhelm.)

With the help of some robotic arms, Iron Man shed his suit, revealing Tony Stark in a sharp suit, standing gracefully on stage and waving to the crowd.

"I'm not saying the world is enjoying its longest period of uninterrupted peace is thanks to me!"

Tony Stark began his introduction with full flair, sounding like one of Master Guo's opening poems—just a bit long.

"I'm not saying that from the ashes of captivity never has a greater phoenix metaphor been personified in human history!"

"I'm not saying that Uncle Sam can kick back on a lawn chair, sipping iced tea because I haven't come across anyone who's man enough to go toe-to-toe with me on my best day!"

There was a short pause before the audience below, mostly Iron Man fans, erupted into cheers.

However, before Tony Stark could continue his performance, a discordant voice emerged.

"Stark! This is New York. What have you ever done for New York?"

"Uncle Sam can sip his tea because Spider-Man helped us defeat the Green Goblin. Otherwise, your expo would be as chaotic as a space exploration carnival!"

"Spider-Man doesn't need to rise from the ashes. He started at the top and has always been protecting us. He's our guardian angel! The protector of New York!"

"Spider-Man has done so much without saying a word, while you stand here boasting. Iron Man, do you even have any shame?"

Tony looked a bit awkward on stage. To be so bluntly contradicted during his moment of grandstanding was bad enough, but not being able to pinpoint the speaker—thus unable to buy out their company and fire them—left him feeling deeply unsettled.

In the audience, Su Ye was thoroughly amused.

Not because of Tony Stark's embarrassment, but because of what the audience had said.

Being directly called the protector of New York, a guardian angel, was a first for him, and it felt pretty satisfying.

However, if these people knew that their so-called guardian angel had no interest in saving them—that fighting the Green Goblin initially was to impress his girlfriend, and later to earn "girlfriend points," with saving them merely a byproduct—they might think differently.

I'm not your hero, nor have I ever wanted to be. Please get that straight, alright!