I got a slightly Unique System.

Ethan's POV

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I am not a good person. I, myself use the sympathy card on myself on many occasions to ease the guilt I always feel towards the dark things that has been done by me.

I accepted my past as that me, is a part of my past and the past cannot be undone. I began praying as to assert myself that I can indeed change towards the better person whom I can be proud of. 

I have many sins I have committed by someone's coercion or by my own volition. Some may say to me that I was just a kid when I did all those things, but when a kid reaches a certain age of minimum 9, they gain the ability to ascertain the right from wrongs. I am not going to use the age as an excuse for my sins. As I saw in one of my first ever motivational videos 

(A/N

It is fact, I searched it on the google and from my own personal experience as well.

'At what age can children tell right from wrong?

To the legal system, the answer is clear: children have the requisite moral sense--the ability to tell right from wrong--by age 7 to 15, depending on which state they live in, and so can be held responsible for their actions.')

From 'David Goggins' that too was from one of the YouTube videos.

{A lot of people out there lying to themselves that, 'they are alright' while it is clearly not the truth. 'It is okay to be not alright' but first you have to accept that you're not alright. It is hard to face your past mistakes and go through them. But if you don't do that you'll never grow as an individual, you'll never grow as a man, you'll be the same coward who is denying his past mistakes. You have to accept it before you fix that part of your broken self.}

That speech made me realize that I will never be able to cut that period of time from my life, so I have no choice but to accept that and try to live a better and good life.

The reason why I am now attending the normal life is also one of that reason. Without any worries and was able to share my past with my significant half.

I have cried, denied, felt helpless, and able to grow more than who I once was.

You know,

There is always a dark side to everything

For example – Family, society, politics, religion, daily life, business, workspace, educational institutes and everything.

But most of us 'consciously or unconsciously' ignore that part. It depends in which position of the world's hierarchical pyramid you are in.

Some people indeed think that all people are born and should be raised equal.

But that same people will ignore the genocide which is going around the globe due to starvation/wars/etc. And they'll according to the region and place they born in, the household they ended for life afterwards going to play the major role in the life. Some people born with golden spoon while some simply die due to their 'biological female who are going to give birth of them' womb without even having a privilege of taking their first breath.

But the higher ups don't give a fuck about the ordinary people's matters

They just want something to fuck around to keep themselves as a superior human.

Media which should be primarily be focusing about the normal lives and keep check everyone about their limit is now a lapdog of BJP.

It is not better for the other real life political parties as well. Everyone more is the same, it just that some are extreme like BJP.

I am still waiting for the promised 15 lakhs of the promised propaganda of the 2014 Elections.

and,...

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I have accepted this as well as I am still no one but a mere mortal whose existence will be forgotten by the world after my death and I have no wish to be a revolutionize the globe with the world as the world is ever-changing. I am still being paranoid whether I am having an elaborate delusion like it shown in the movie 'Joker' where he can be very imaginative. I am not a fool to question my existence as only the intelligent people try to speculate about the meaning of life. I live for the sake of having a peaceful life and lovely life, where I can live a life without fear of someone disrupting my small world.

I can die peacefully as long as I tried my best to achieve the goal. I, sometimes don't understand the drive-in characters to live so hard in apocalyptic movies. I will gladly die in the onslaught of the apocalypse; I will kill my family's women so they'll not get raped in the apocalypse as it is the human heart that we need to be aware of in times of crisis. It may be hard to swallow but when the rule system becomes obsolete the carnage will be following after that is unimaginable.

I am not going to lie as it is true. While it is true that there are still lots of good people in the world but as the saying goes 'the bright a star which shines on its day will get its darkest of nights.'

 Sorry if my Quote is wrong but that is my philosophy.

The reason why I am this much of an over thinker is cause, I will now be an evil individual in the life rather than facing the same tyranny I suffered in my past.

I do love my Mom, Safa and maybe dad.

And I absolutely will not ever abandon My Safa just because I now have a system as she accepted me when I was in my lowest so now even after knowing about everything about me even my darkest secret. So, I love my Safa. I love her from the bottom of my heart. It is not some obligation to love her, it is a love to the borderline of an obsession to not leave Safa and safe my Safa as she is mine and mine alone. I will kill anyone who tries to separate us.

If my Safa is not happy something about my qualities I'll simply change myself.

I am a normal individual compared to the psychos of the world.

I am missing my Safa a lot. I will ask the system later whether there is a soul bound contract which will keep me and my Safa together Eternally towards the end of everything as I want us to be always together. How nice will it be, that thought alone is making me getting Goosebumps.

I will kill that son of a bitch who'll extort me later as that bastard is a tumor to the society. If anyone says that he can be working under the coercion of the higher ups, which is an insult to my intelligence as nobody in this world is innocent. He walked on this path so he should be ready to face its consequences. I will later find my dad's three victim of half murder and help them as much as I can. In fact after doing everything to secure myself to the next 2 generation I'll donate 90% of the money I'll be getting from the system afterwards.

I miss my Safa. Oh I'll help Safa to secure her family also. After that will donate all of my 90% of the Income. That is the plan for now but the plans cannot keep with changes so we'll about that in future.

Again Oh I forgot

Vicky

Shiva

Amit family I'll do for them as well after I finish mine and Safa families.

As the saying goes the human greed got no ends.

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As I finished my monologue with the 3rd glass of tea which alongside with coffee comes under plantation crops.

Then I took mine and mom's used utensils to the washbasin.

Mom seeing my back suddenly asks me

'Son your being Eerily calm today despite telling me such good news. I am getting worried that you're not okay. Is everything okay son?'

To which I replied while my back is still facing mom.

'Nothing to worry mom. It's just that I have a very long work to do now. As I cannot be lazy anymore.'

Mom then said to me

'Just don't leave any loose ends son. Which may come to bite you in the ass later.'

I turned towards mom. Just to see that mom is shooting me a harmless smile.

I breathed a sigh of relief

While saying to myself

'Thank God mom is unaware'

To which all of my thoughts replied me with.

'Or not.'

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I then messaged Safa and now I am in my bedroom waiting for her reply, as mom denied me from leaving the house as its monsoon period in our state. As since there is no rain here since the morning, I forgot that it's a rainy season.

I suddenly got a lot of ideas.

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(A/N

I tried my best to imitate on how a pessimistic person thinks and without any sense of direction at all)

i was busy in my college affairs