I Gave Up on Conquering the Heroines

“Go, Yoo Jin.”
Thud.

Here we go again.

I end up hurting Yoo Jin’s heart once more.

At this moment, all I can do is press him and freeze him.

“Before it’s too late. Hurry up.”

I’ve known for a long time that a love that cannot be concluded has no beautiful ending at this road’s end.

If I’d known this fact before meeting Yoo Jin,

Would I have rejected him from the start?

‘No…’

I definitely wouldn’t have been able to reject him.

No matter how many times I go back, it’s the same.

Even if I face this horrific end repeatedly, my decision doesn’t change.

I don’t regret it.

Because I’ve already realized it.

How wonderful it feels to love.

How precious an experience it is to connect with someone.

Once I’ve come to that understanding, it’s impossible to return to a time when I didn’t know.

I can’t go back to locking the door and becoming the cold Frost Duchess again.

I’ve fallen under a kind of curse.

A curse that gives a heart to a tin machine that only had the role of protecting and ruling the kingdom.

Because of that, I’ve put many people through hardships.

Not to mention Yoo Jin.

Even Jill and Yulia.

Of course, they didn’t express it outwardly…

But I still can’t forgive them now.

I hate them.

I can’t shake the thought that if those two hadn’t been there, I could have had a happy ending with Yoo Jin.

This is my true nature.

I try hard to hide it and seem more human,

But ugly emotions churn within me.

If I were to transition back to the current world in this state, it would be obvious what would happen.

I’d go on a rampage again.

Not satisfied with Yoo Jin’s return, I would manifest fury to monopolize him.

In the end, I would freeze everything and destroy it all.

And Yoo Jin, who has experienced multiple regressions, would know this well.

He knows I never change.

Perhaps he understands my true nature better than I do.

“Hey? Yoo Jin?”

“…”

“Yoo Jin. Why are you not reacting? Yoo Jin…”

“…”

But something feels off.

Why isn’t Yoo Jin responding?

Even though most of his limbs and face are frozen, his heart is definitely beating.

I’ve supplied him with enough mana.

I could feel the mana in his body being decomposed and transformed into demonic energy.

But why? Why?

Why is Yoo Jin still not coming back?

“Yoo Jin. You’re going to die like this. Hurry up. Please!”

“…”

“Just go! If you stay like this, there’s no point in me still being here! I’m staying because I want you to live…”

“…”

Shudder shudder.

Yoo Jin’s body trembles.

As if trying to move his frozen body to do something.

But the ice that has frozen him to the bone doesn’t budge.

In a moment of fear that he’ll break,

“Ah!”

Crack!

Yoo Jin’s ankle breaks off.

He leaves his frozen foot embedded in the ground and comes towards me.

He breaks his other foot in a similar way, staggering towards me.

I cry at that sight and quickly catch him.

“Why? Why…!”

I can’t understand.

Yoo Jin, you weren’t like this.

You were rational and reasonable.

A brave person, yes, but not reckless.

You would choose a worthy sacrifice, not a pointless death.

So why…!

Are you trying to die with me, who is obviously going to die here?

“Go back, Yoo Jin. Please… I’ll ask you… Take care of the Priestess and Yulia well… okay?”

“Damn…”

Squish, squish!

Yoo Jin’s frozen face begins to move.

His frozen cheeks slightly split, and with great effort, he utters a voice.

That makes my heart ache unbearably.

“You dishonest brat… Still pretending until the end?”

“What, what do you mean…?”

“When have you ever cared for Jill and Yulia? I know you hate them more than spies from enemy states.”

“…”

That was true.

But I hadn’t even told Yoo Jin this.

“How do you know? If you didn’t, you wouldn’t deserve my love.”

“I know…! If I go back, I know what will happen! If I go back, everyone will die! Me, you! Everything you care about will freeze to death! So stop being stubborn and stop this ridiculous greed! Hurry back before it’s too late!”

“…”

“Why, why! Why are you being quiet again!!!”

I’m going crazy from frustration.

Yoo Jin isn’t the kind of person to act like this.

He’s not someone who behaves irrationally.

As if waiting for something, Yoo Jin’s mana doesn’t move at all.

He shows no sign of wanting to go back.

“Yeah. You’re right. I never regarded Jill and Yulia as friends. I always thought of them as my rivals, people I would have to put aside someday. The happiness you want… I’m the one who would shatter it. I’m a selfish, envious, rude, and indifferent person full of loneliness…”

“Indifferent? You? You don’t even know how you unconsciously wag your tail and act cute.”

“What, what are you talking about?!”

When Yoo Jin chuckles, my body shudders.

Is this really the right time for jokes?

I’m dying here!

No, just now two of my feet have fallen off, and my face is breaking as I speak…!

Tears blur my vision.

At that moment, Yoo Jin’s hand twitches, some fingers crumbling away, reaching towards me to wipe my tears.

My sight clears.

And Yoo Jin’s face begins to come into focus.

With an unwavering gaze free from doubt or fear, he looks down at me.

“Do you think I’m jealous? That I can’t get along with Jill and Yulia? They’re the same. When it comes to darkness, they’re better than you. Rather, the more honest you are, the more they can expose their ugly sides and be happy.”

“What does that mean…?”

“You think you’re the center of the world. You’re not. You’re nothing special. Why do you place grand significance on your talent? You’re just an exceptionally strong ordinary person.”

“That’s no use…! In the regressions you’ve seen, didn’t I go on a rampage?”

“…”

Yoo Jin’s gaze wavers.

I knew it.

I must have always been the same.

In each regression, I would have rampaged and eventually destroyed the world.

The only possibility that I didn’t rampage would be if I never knew Yoo Jin.

If I didn’t know Yoo Jin, couldn’t understand a human heart, lived my life always locked away…

“Ah. Not once.”

“What?!”

“I never rampaged while I was around.”

“What?! After you left, didn’t the world get destroyed every time?!”

“After I left, the timeline would have collapsed, so such things couldn’t have occurred in the first place.”

“…”

What kind of absurd reasoning is this?

It’s hard to believe that things were fine as long as Yoo Jin was around.

I’ve never seen the rampages of destruction myself, so they didn’t happen?

“Yerina. Trust yourself. And trust that I will always stay by your side. I will remain wherever you are.”

“Please…”

“This isn’t the future world. It’s an illusion created by your fear. In no timeline have you ever destroyed the world, and this will never happen in the future either. No. I’ll stop it from happening. As long as we don’t give up, it’s entirely possible.”

Clutching Yoo Jin’s freezing hand tight, I slowly lay him down.

His words begin to slow down once more.

The struggle to move his frozen body was merely a last-ditch effort.

The intense cold that he couldn’t withstand strips everything away.

“You… plan to abandon me once again?”

“Huff…”

Leaving behind those final words, Yoo Jin.

His fingertips and lips no longer stir.

I can no longer feel any vitality from deep within his chest.

It’s because of me.

I killed Yoo Jin.

Because of this cursed body…!

“What?”

While pouring out words of cursing in my mind, my consciousness suddenly snapped back.

What? Cursed body?

Only then did the self-loathing wash over me, and I let out a derisive laugh in disbelief.

“Heh…”

Cursed body, huh?

How many times have I gained benefits from this outstanding talent in a body that didn’t match my worth?

How many relationships did I meet and protect because of my gifted nature?

I’ve enjoyed every benefit, and now it’s time to pay for my actions, and I call it a curse?

It’s too shameless to even think about it.

This isn’t a curse.

It’s just the price I have to pay for being so greedy.

Meeting death here would mean evading that price.

And evading it would be akin to denying the path I’ve walked.

How could someone who claimed to uphold martial arts and justice meet this disgraceful end?

“I don’t want that… I don’t want that…”

I picked up Yoo Jin’s frozen fingers from the ground.

Bringing the frozen ankles of Yoo Jin, who seemed to have turned to ice, I took them too.

Then I shed my tears onto the severed surfaces, aligning them back together.

In an instant, the tears froze, merging the cut parts.

That’s how I fixed his ankles, fingers, and the torn cheeks.

Finally, having laid Yoo Jin down intact, I placed my hand on his cheek.

The energy that had been continuously pouring out began to seep back into Yoo Jin.

But for some reason, this time it felt different from the cold energy that had frozen him from the heart.

“I could never abandon you…”

I pulled the already cold Yoo Jin into a tight embrace.

It might be too late.

I might have belatedly realized and found myself in tears.

But here, I choose not to retreat anymore.

I’ve understood why Yoo Jin stubbornly stayed by my side.

I realized what he was trying to awaken in me.

Even though I couldn’t verbally express it,

Because I didn’t, it resonated all the more.

“This is a world I created… inside my essence…”

The future current world?

That’s wrong. It’s not like that.

This is merely a scene created by my vague fear.

“I was deceiving myself deeply within.”

Embarrassment rushes over me.

This place was not a refuge.

It wasn’t a place where I could forsake all responsibility and choose death.

It was a place to observe my own essence.

A place that not everyone can reach, to refine and evolve one’s abilities.

Even if I ended up here by chance, to think of meeting death in such a place…

Yoo Jin had every right to be anxious and cling to me.

“You said you’d stay by my side…”

I held Yoo Jin’s hand tight.

Pressing my forehead to his.

Then, gradually, at some moment, I began to release the will surging from within me.

Clang! The iron shoes filled with sharp spikes filled with will.

Sparkle! The protective rings radiated with blue light from the will.

Buzz, buzz! The iron wrist guards rumbled with response.

Every weapon wrapped around my body responded with my will.

That means my whole body is reacting.

What I hold in my hand is my weapon, my entire flesh is like a weapon itself.

The insides of my body, overflowing with will, began to dissolve the Frost-style Swordsmanship.

Swordsmanship meant for cutting, smashing, destroying, and freezing.

The form of the swordsmanship I had been honing all my life disassembled and reassembled into a completely different shape.

The shape created became overwhelmingly larger than before.

Incredible meaning and intent was born from what was once swordsmanship.

“I’ll believe… in you, and in myself…”

Yerina’s fingertips shone, wrapping a white will around Yoo Jin.

Every single cell began to freeze, and Yoo Jin, who seemed irreversibly dead, started thawing.

As if turning back time, the broken body was rejoining and reviving.

An uncontrollable will overflowed and spread around me.

Dark clouds parted, and white clouds rolled in, the fierce blizzard calmed.

The will nestled on the ground melted the snow, warming the earth.

The long-dead grass regained its green in an instant and began to bloom.

The eternal frost crumbled, and the land that seemed frozen in time suddenly filled with vibrant life.

The ultimate swordsmanship meant only to freeze, smash, and destroy.

The destination that broke free from its limits.

The martial arts secrets of Frost-style.

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