I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

The celebration carried on late into the night.

Some adventurers, unable to handle their drink, had passed out on the hard, uncomfortable guild floor.

Nero, initially planning to enjoy a couple of drinks herself, had her glass snatched away by Darkness.

"Nero, you're someone Alice… I mean, Iris, looks up to. If you drink, you'll set a bad example for her… Besides, only adults are allowed to drink."

"What insolence! I'll have you know I am already an adult!"

Despite Nero's protest, her diminutive stature, comparable to Megumin's, didn't exactly lend credibility to her claim.

Ugh…

Still, keeping Alice away from bad influences was a valid point.

"Honestly, if you're going to throw a party, loosen up a little more. Why are you so restrained?"

"I… I can't help it! With Alice—Iris around, what if I accidentally ruin the reliable and elegant image she has of me?"

Unable to drink alcohol, Nero resorted to sipping the oddly named Nero Mead.

"What about your teammates? Oh, I mean Aqua and Kazuma. I bumped into Megumin earlier, but those two… they're the kind of troublemakers who are almost guaranteed to cause chaos if left unsupervised."

You're one of those troublemakers too… Nero mentally added but kept to herself.

"I don't know," Darkness replied, shrugging. "Honestly, ever since the party started, I've barely paid attention to them. I've been keeping an eye on Alice—I mean, Iris—the whole time."

Leaving Alice to you is even more worrisome… Darkness thought, though her concern wasn't for Nero's ability to protect Alice. After all, Nero had taken down a Demon King's general in one-on-one combat. It was Nero's personality that raised alarm bells.

Hearing Darkness's words, Nero frowned, setting her cup down.

"Now you've made me uneasy. Stay here—I'll go find them."

With that, Nero turned and left, leaving Darkness puzzled.

"Isn't she overreacting? Sure, Kazuma and Aqua can be… a handful, but they're not that bad, right?"

Darkness picked up her drink but was interrupted by someone calling her name.

In the noisy guild, distinguishing a voice aimed at you wasn't easy.

"Hey! Darkness!"

The voice was unmistakably Kazuma's.

Finding him wasn't difficult. Darkness spotted him standing on a table, shirtless, his face flushed from too much drink.

Seeing Kazuma, Darkness couldn't help but let out a small sigh of relief. Like Nero, she had been worried about what trouble Kazuma and Aqua might stir up, but as their teammate, she also wanted to show some trust and save face for them in public.

"What's going on, Kazuma? Did you need something? And where's Aqua? Shouldn't you be keeping an eye on her?"

A simple, caring question.

However…

"What the hell do you mean by that?!"

"…Huh?"

"I'm asking what you mean by that! Huh? 'Perverted Darkness,' aren't you supposed to be handing out free services to everyone you meet? What's with the prim and proper act since you walked in here? Were you possessed? Or did someone install a toilet in your head and flush away all your degenerate thoughts? You, who flaunt your filthy body—suddenly acting ladylike is the most out-of-character thing ever!"

Hearing words like "perverted" and "filthy," Darkness's instincts momentarily betrayed her, a spark of excitement flickering within.

But then she remembered—Alice was nearby. She snapped out of it instantly.

This is not the time to get carried away!

"Damn him… How does he always manage to hit all my weak spots so accurately?!"

Kazuma, seemingly having been dragged into a drinking contest with the other adventurers, was now drunk and running his mouth.

And the adventurers around him—who knew Darkness all too well—joined in.

"Yeah, Kazuma's right! That whole prim and proper thing? It's creepy!"

"We preferred the Darkness who'd shout, 'It's a knight's duty to be ravaged by monsters!' That was the real you!"

"Acting all dignified now—what if you end up enchanting us? That's dangerous!"

"Shut up—!!"

Mortified as Alice glanced in her direction, Darkness charged forward, knocking out each heckler in one punch, leaving them slumbering peacefully on the guild floor.

Meanwhile, Nero had made her way to the adventurers' guild's backyard in search of Aqua.

The guild's garden grew various vegetables for use in cooking.

Nero also noticed rows of fish—autumn mackerel, to be specific—half-grown, their eyes visible but their mouths yet to form.

Wait… autumn mackerel? Planted in a field?

A delayed realization struck her as she stared at the bizarre sight. The fish weren't just lying in the soil—they were growing from it.

Rows of mackerel eyes glimmered under the dim light, giving the unnerving impression of staring into an eldritch abyss.

"…I don't think I'll ever be able to eat mackerel again."

Suppressing the urge to incinerate the cursed-looking fish, Nero ventured further into the backyard.

Darkness posed no obstacle to her, as she could use her Imperial Privilege EX to acquire night vision.

Sure enough, she eventually spotted Aqua crouched in a corner, busy burying something.

Activating Presence Concealment, Nero crept closer, curious about what Aqua was up to, sneaking around instead of guzzling drinks.

What she heard was Aqua muttering to herself:

"Hehehe, I'm not just going to drink and eat. Even a goddess has limits, but if I bury these expensive bottles of wine now and dig them up tomorrow, I'll have a secret stash to take home! I'm a genius! Kazuma won't be able to make fun of me anymore. When I bring these back and drink them right in front of him, he'll be so jealous! Wahahaha!"

Under the silent night sky, Aqua's triumphant laughter echoed.

Standing behind her, Nero's expression grew complicated. She couldn't decide whether to laugh or be angry.

"…Isn't bullying idiots supposed to be illegal?"

Moments later, Aqua's distinct wails shattered the night's tranquility.

"AAAHHH—! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Let go of my head! Kazuma! Kazuma, where are you?! Save meeeee—!!"