I Don’t Want to Be a Heroic Spirit

"What's the matter?"

Artoria peeked out from behind the mountain of food she had carried, tilting her head and directing a curious gaze at Shishigou Kairi.

No. It doesn't matter how innocent you look—this is way too much food!

"Father! Why are you eating so much?!"

See? Even Mordred thinks this is over the top.

"It's not fair! Give me half!"

Shishigou Kairi: "..."

Ignoring the stunned mercenary beside her, Artoria placed a plate in front of Mordred and explained, "This portion was meant for you anyway. From what I know about you, what you just ate wouldn't even count as an appetizer, would it? Though, as Servants, we don't actually need food..."

"Alright!"

Mordred's eyes sparkled with delight as she gazed at the mountain of food in front of her. Without hesitation, she began demolishing it with vigor.

Meanwhile, Artoria sat down beside her and started eating her own portion.

Strangely enough, while Artoria ate with much more decorum than Mordred, her speed was slightly faster.

Watching the two food mountains rapidly shrink before his eyes, Shishigou Kairi felt a cold bead of sweat trail down his temple.

Truly, like father, like son... wait, no. Father and daughter? Mother and daughter? Mother and son?

"Ruler, how did you manage to get all this food?"

The food Mordred had eaten earlier—and Kairi's own plate—had been purchased with his money.

But these two heaping plates...

"I had an idea to explore the town this morning and ended up near a casino," Artoria explained casually between bites. "I earned some money there through gambling. Don't worry, everything was done properly—I didn't use magecraft or expose any mysteries."

As she spoke, Kairi stared at her, his brows furrowed in disbelief.

Why? Because Artoria was eating continuously without pausing to speak, yet her words were perfectly clear and fluent.

That doesn't make any sense!

Wait... I'm a magus. I've seen plenty of things that don't make sense...

But this isn't even magecraft!

"Gambling?"

The idea of King Arthur gambling left Kairi scratching his head.

When people think of gambling, it often conjures associations with unsavory activities like drugs or vice. It's hardly the sort of thing you'd connect to someone as noble as the fabled King of Knights.

"I picked up a little skill in it because Merlin said it might be necessary," Artoria explained. "Besides, with this Saint Graph, I seem to take card games unusually seriously. As for the specifics... sorry, I don't entirely understand it myself."

"Ah, no need to explain," Kairi replied with a shrug. "I was just curious."

Merlin, huh...

As one of the greatest magi and sages in Western history, Merlin's name carried immense weight, especially among magi.

Though Kairi, as more of a mercenary than a magus, didn't hold the same reverence, he couldn't help but feel slightly awed.

"That damn liar," Mordred grumbled, grinding her teeth. "It's no surprise he's skilled at gambling—he practically oozes the kind of scummy charm you'd expect in a casino."

Even though Merlin's antics had indirectly allowed her to see this side of Artoria, Mordred couldn't let go of her frustration.

Why didn't he tell me?! Why wasn't I the first to witness this captivating side of Father? Why let Lancelot and Gawain beat me to it?!

Merlin, you damn white-haired fraud, I'll kill you someday!

Kairi glanced at the two women before him. Their strikingly similar features made him wonder:

Having the Ruler of this Holy Grail War—someone capable of overpowering Achilles and Karna—tag along with him and his Saber... was this a blessing or a curse?

Well, considering it had been his suggestion for Mordred to approach Ruler in the first place, Kairi couldn't say he regretted it.

Watching the two now, as they seemingly competed to see who could eat faster, Kairi felt a strange sense of... satisfaction?

Hah... maybe I did the right thing.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

Glancing at Artoria and Mordred—both of whom were devouring their meals like machines—Kairi reached for his phone.

The mountains of food were nearly gone.

Did I really just look away for a moment? You two are relentless!

Suppressing the urge to comment, Kairi answered the call.

"Hello, yes... this is Shishigou. Ah, Lord El-Melloi! Sorry for the delay. Is there something you need?"

"Lord El-Melloi II," came the voice from the other end.

"Lord El-Melloi II," echoed another voice simultaneously.

For a brief moment, Kairi thought he'd misheard an echo.

Looking up, he saw Artoria still eating calmly, as though the words hadn't come from her at all.

"Uh... was that you just now?"

"I've finished," Artoria announced, dabbing at her lips with a napkin in a composed manner.

"Argh! I lost!" Mordred groaned, scratching her head in frustration.

Artoria's composed elegance starkly contrasted Mordred's visible exasperation.

"Mordred, you're still too young. You've got a long way to go and much to learn," Artoria said with a serene smile.

"Tch! You only won by luck! I'll beat you next time!"

"Feel free to try. I'll wager my honor as a king that you'll lose again," Artoria declared confidently.

Wait, are they seriously getting competitive over breakfast?

Kairi groaned inwardly. They're not about to fight over this, are they?

The voice on the other end of the phone brought him back to reality, and he quickly offered another apology.

I swear, these two are going to make me the designated straight man for their antics.

Lord El-Melloi II was one of the Twelve Lords of the Clock Tower and the primary client for Kairi's involvement in this war.

If he was calling, it wasn't to give Kairi a raise. More likely, he was adding yet another task to his already long list of responsibilities.

After a thorough exchange of information and a brief negotiation, Kairi accepted the new assignment.

As he was about to end the call, an odd impulse struck him.

"...Do you know King Arthur?"

"...Excuse me?"

"Never mind," Kairi said hurriedly. "Forget I asked."

Hanging up, he let out a long sigh.

Artoria's earlier interjection of "Lord El-Melloi II" had left him with the eerie sense that she was somehow familiar with the man.

But that was impossible, wasn't it?

One lived in the 4th or 5th century, the other in the modern era. How could they have any connection?

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...he's late [patreon.com/WiseTL]