I Cook My Way Through The Multiverse!

Tsuna stood back, admiring his handiwork. Sonic was tied up, hanging upside down from the ceiling like a chandelier, bound with metal around his ankles and wrists.

"Alright," Tsuna muttered to himself, "I guess it's time to wake them up."

"Although Saitama's definitely going to be angry about that," He glanced at the small crater in the wooden floor from his earlier gravity trick and sighed. Turning to Sonic hanging figure, he suddenly chuckled, "Well, I'll just blame this guy anyway..."

Tsuna strolled over to the small kitchen at the far end of the living room. He flicked on the heat and set a wok on the stove.

Soon, smoke curled up from the pan as he tossed in a splash of oil.

Luckily, he had prepared plenty of ingredients, ready to experiment with a few more recipes today. When the oil began to sizzle, he threw in finely chopped garlic and shallots. The apartment filled with the savory aroma, drifting through the space.

Genos groaned, still groggy, his mechanical body twitching slightly as he murmured, "S-Stop it..."

Despite being mostly machine, Tsuna's cooking seemed to transcend even Genos' robotic senses. The fragrance stirred something deep within him. His eyes fluttered open. "Huh?"

Rubbing his head as he sat up, Genos blinked, disoriented. He spotted Tsuna at the stove, stirring the wok. The sizzling grew louder as Tsuna added slices of lap cheong (Chinese sausage), making the smell even richer.

Genos stood up, not surprised by the situation as if it had become routine for them as he groggily asked, "Did you throw away that disgusting thing?" 

"Yeah, I did..."

"Did you even taste it?"

"Kekeke, I did," Tsuna chuckled. "It was disgusting."

"..."

Genos sighed. His gaze drifted to the strangers scattered around the room. He frowned, noticing them for the first time.

"Who are these four?" 

"I thought you'd recognize them..."

Tsuna didn't miss a beat as he kept stirring the wok. He tossed in cold, day-old jasmine rice, each grain separating perfectly as the sizzling filled the room before answering, "The one I tied up was definitely hostile."

He glancing at Sonic, still hanging from the ceiling. Before turning to the rest and added, "But the other three? I don't know, they passed out before I can even ask anything..."

"Passed out?"

Genos scanned the group, his eyes settling on Fubuki and her two subordinates.

"Now that I look at them… I recognize those three. They're probably here for Saitama-sensei." He knew there was certain group that liked to bully newcomer, and considering Saitama had just promoted to B rank, they must've come for him.

As for the last one, blinking before his eyes widened, "Wait… is this guy the stalker Saitama-sensei told me about?"

There was a ninja—someone Saitama had accidentally humiliated by breaking his eggs or something. The poor guy had declared himself a rival ever since, constantly stalking Saitama, trying to get his attention. And failing miserably.

"...Whatever," Genos shrugged, clearly over it. He walked over to the kitchen table they'd recently bought—with his money, of course—and sat down.

The smell of food was already filling the apartment.

"Urgh... where am I?"

Another groan came from behind as King slowly sat up, drawn awake by the mouthwatering smell in the air. He rubbed his eyes, blinking groggily, clearly confused about his surroundings. Then, his gaze landed on the food.

Without hesitation, he shuffled over to the table.

"...Thank God I'm still alive," King muttered, before pulling up a chair and sitting down.

Tsuna brought over a large platter of fried rice, setting it down on the table.

Both Genos and King's eyes flickered with excitement. Sure, Tsuna had made some questionable dishes before, but most of the time, his cooking was so good that they were willing to risk anything for it.

So, this kind of chaos was oddly normal for them.

But Tsuna wasn't done yet.

Using the leftover gaebul, he carefully grilled the sea creature over medium heat, just enough to give it a slight char while keeping the inside tender and soft. The gaebul had a chewy, ocean-like texture, but now, with a smoky flavor from the grill.

After a few minutes, he removed it from the heat, drizzling it with a light yuzu ponzu sauce for a tangy, citrusy kick.

As he placed the dish on the table, Tsuna turned to Genos and said, "Genos, grab some and wake Saitama with this."

"Uh, why?" Genos asked, glancing at Saitama, who was still lying flat on the floor, looking lifeless. "Sensei should've woken up by now."

"It's a bit complicated, but trust me, this will wake him up," Tsuna said, his expression turning stony.

Genos shrugged before grabbing a piece of the grilled gaebul with chopsticks. He walked over to Saitama, lightly placing the food under his teacher's nose, making Saitama's fingers twitched.

Seeing the reaction, Genos carefully placed the morsel in his mouth.

Instinctively, Saitama took a bite.

"...!"

As Saitama chewed, his face flinched, as if the texture brought back some unsettling memories. But after a few seconds, a wave of calm washed over him.

It was comforting, like sinking into the softest bed imaginable. His whole body felt as if it was being massaged. A smile crept onto his face, and he almost reached out to pat the source of his comfort—until his eyes snapped open in horror.

The thing massaging him was a tentacle!

Saitama bolted upright, shouting, "Oh god, no!"

"...?"

He turned around, noticing everyone staring at him strangely. His lips twitched, and he shot an irritated glare at Tsuna.

But when he saw the food spread out on the table, his anger faded, replaced with hunger. He decided to let the prank slide for now and sat down at the table with an annoyed huff.

Just as he was about to dig in, Saitama froze. His eyes widened as he noticed the crater in the middle of his wooden floor.

Veins popped up on his bald head as he stood up in anger, "Wait, Tsuna, what the hell happened to my floor!?"

"Don't you know who's here? Look at that..."

Tsuna twitched his lips, pointing lazily at the unconscious Sonic hanging from the ceiling. 

"Huh? Sonic?"

"Yeah, your guest. Not my fault. Anyway, Genos is paying to fix it."

"Oh... alright."

Saitama sat back down, his anger dissipating just as quickly as it came.

"Why me?"

Genos felt utterly speechless. These two always dumped the money problems on him.

"You've got money, don't you?"

"...Alright," Genos mumbled, resigned to his fate.

"Okay, let's all just sit down and enjoy the meal, yeah?"

Tsuna clapped his hands, signaling the start of dinner.

Everyone dug into the fried rice and grilled gaebul. Saitama, though skeptical of the gaebul's strange texture, kept eating. He couldn't explain it, but something about it was... addictive, like a guilty pleasure he hadn't known he had.

"Whoa, this is so worth the pain..."

King muttered, finishing his plate and immediately helping himself to more. Genos's eyes flickered with agreement as he continued to chew, consuming more and more.

"By the way," Tsuna spoke up, eyeing Genos, "you said you knew the other three guests, right?"

Genos nodded. Tsuna's gaze shifted to Fubuki, who had woken up a while ago but stayed silent, clearly unnerved by the smell and the chaos.

She shrieked when Tsuna's eyes locked onto her.

"So," Tsuna added with a grin, "why don't you two have a little chat?"

"Hmm?"

All eyes turned to Fubuki, making her feel even more anxious. Tsuna smirked, noticing her discomfort.

He glanced at the others and said, "Looks like we've got a tart coming up, huh?"

"Tart? Pfft—hahaha..."

Laughter erupted around the room, and Fubuki, still tense, forced herself to join in, nervously chuckling, "Ah-haha..."

'Maybe they're quite approachable,' she reassured herself, trying to blend in as she laughed along.

But then, Tsuna suddenly stopped. The others fell silent too, leaving Fubuki's awkward laughter hanging in the air.

She gulped, freezing under Tsuna's gaze as he asked, "Oh? You got the joke, huh?"

"...Yes, aha-ahaha..." she stammered.

"Hahaha!"

Tsuna burst out laughing again, and the room followed suit, echoing with laughter. But, just as quickly, the noise died down, and the room was silent once more.

Fubuki felt a chill run through her as she nervously stopped, her mouth half-open.

"Then," Tsuna's voice cut through the quiet, "explain it."

"..."

Fubuki was instantly dumbfounded. She didn't understand shit. Now that he asked this, she was sure that joke was fucked too. Tears welled up in her eyes, knowing Tsuna was messing with her.

Inside, she was screaming, 'Sister, please save me. I want to go home...'

---

Quick question, I need second opinion on this.

Should I actually get the surgery for my hemorrhoids? Like, they're literally gonna plow my ass tho. I mean, no offense to gay people, but I can't even imagine myself being gay 😭

And I've run out of paid leave at my job, so if I go through with it, my salary will be cut, which is another problem too 💀💀

This is especially concerning if I can't work during the first week (which is the best-case scenario). The worst case scenario, I can't work for more than a week 🪦🪦🪦