I Broke Up With The Country

Chapter 1

In the year 690 of the Kingdom, I became the 11th ruler of the Kingdom of Elendril and the first legitimate female ruler since its founding.

Before my ascension, there had never been a queen in Elendril.

According to the ‘Lex Salica,’ a law of succession strictly upheld since the early days of the kingdom, women and female descendants of the royal family could not inherit the throne.

Naturally, my father, the king, wanted a son. However, my mother, much to his disappointment, gave birth to a daughter, and after that, she could no longer conceive.

In the end, my father cast out my mother and me, bringing in a new queen.

My mother, who lost her status as queen overnight and was expelled from the castle with her young daughter, spent her days in tears, but she devoted herself to raising me with all her love.

As soon as I could understand words, my mother would always say to me,

“No matter what happens, you must become the king.”

Her words became the goal of my life.

Even though I was treated poorly, I secretly studied the art of kingship, learning politics, economics, diplomacy, and anything else necessary for a ruler.

Whether by fortune or misfortune, the new queen did not bear any children.

After her death, I eventually returned to the court through much effort. I did my utmost to win my father’s favor and gather the support of the ministers.

Finally, the king abolished the ‘Lex Salica’ and named me as his successor.

When my father passed away after some years, I drove out the opposition and finally ascended as the first queen of the kingdom.

For a full 20 years, I was the perfect ruler.

People referred to me as the queen who was married to the state, as I tirelessly governed and remained unmarried, caring for the country alone.

“Your Majesty.”

Lost in thought, I suddenly raised my head at the sound of a familiar voice.

“Ah, Marquis Lamian.”

Throughout the lonely life of a queen, the only thing that sustained me was the presence of trustworthy close aides.

Among them, Marquis Lamian, who had been with me since childhood, was my closest confidant and most trusted friend.

“My apologies. I didn’t realize you were busy with state affairs…”

“It’s alright. What is it?”

“A marriage proposal has arrived.”

Without even looking at the parchment he held out, I let out a small laugh.

“Burn it.”

“Excuse me? But it might be better to send a reply…”

“It’s not a proposal that was sent with the expectation of acceptance, is it?”

Marquis Lamian nodded and took back the parchment.

“Yes, understood.”

Even after he left, I couldn’t stop smiling.

A marriage proposal? Maybe I would have been a little excited if it had come 20 years earlier. But to me, now that I am a queen, such proposals are nothing more than a pointless joke.

The ‘young and beautiful queen’ that people once praised is now a thing of the past. In just a little while, I would be nearing fifty.

From the very beginning of my reign, I had no intention of marrying.

It is customary for a wife to take her husband’s name, and her lands are absorbed into his. A queen must marry royalty from another country, but that would mean handing over the throne to another nation.

In this world, women are seen as accessories to men, and a queen is merely a bridge to the next male ruler. I had no desire to share power with foreign royalty through marriage.

Thus, I always pretended to consider the marriage proposals that came from abroad seriously, but at the appropriate time, I turned them all down.

It would be a lie to say I wasn’t lonely. However, loneliness had become an inseparable part of me.

The first queen of the kingdom, the great virgin monarch praised by the people.

In a fairy tale, this would be the point of a happy ending, but unfortunately, life doesn’t end there.

Reality is not a fairy tale.

The reality of a queen is that under the name of being married to the state, she grows old alone, lonely, and without knowing love or freedom.

“I’m tired.”

I quietly rose from my seat.

The maidens quickly helped me change clothes. I hung limply, passively accepting their service.

Strangely, I had no strength in my body.

Despite thinking I had taken good care of my health, I found myself growing heavier, sleeping more, and experiencing frequent chest pains and tingling in my limbs.

Perhaps it was due to staying up all night and overworking.

At that moment, my body swayed backward. I closed my eyes and lost consciousness.

***

“Your Majesty.”

I opened my eyes suddenly at the familiar voice.

“Your Majesty!”

I struggled to open my eyes and looked around. My head was resting on a soft pillow. I could see Marquis Lamian’s face beside me.

I must have fainted.

“I rushed over as soon as I heard you had collapsed. Are you alright?”

Marquis Lamian asked with a worried tone. I slowly regulated my breathing and forced a calm smile.

“I’m fine.”

In truth, I was not fine. My headache, and my mouth was parched. I tried to sit up, but I felt even weaker than before.

Marquis Lamian handed me a small bowl and a spoon.

“I’ve brought some porridge. Please eat at least one spoonful. You haven’t eaten anything all afternoon.”

“Thank you.”

Although I had no appetite, I finished the bowl of porridge he brought.

After the bowl was taken away and I lay back down, I suddenly noticed the faces of many people surrounding my bed.

Marquis Lamian, the ministers who had been loyal since my princess days, the attendants and maidens who had served me for a long time.

My eyes grew hot with emotion.

I had once thought that if I were to face death, I would want to close my eyes among those who had protected me. It seemed that time might not be so far off.

“To meet your expectations, I must live a long life.”

As I spoke with a forced smile, Marquis Lamian, who had approached the bedside, shook his head.

“Your Majesty, you have already met all of our expectations.”

Comfortable bed, warm praise, and surrounded by those I love. It was the happiest moment of my life.

However, when Marquis Lamian spoke again, the atmosphere changed completely.

“Therefore, it is time for you to leave us.”

What did he say?

I thought I must have heard wrong and opened my eyes wide. Looking again at the face of the Marquis, a cold smile appeared.

“Thank you for trusting me until the end, Your Majesty. If you had doubted me for even a moment, I wouldn’t have been able to poison the porridge so easily.”

It felt as though all the blood in my body had turned cold.

Whenever I couldn’t eat properly, Marquis Lamian would always bring me porridge.

I was so grateful for his care that, no matter how little my appetite, I always finished the porridge he brought.

But, was that porridge poisoned?

“You’re lying, right?”

I asked, forcing a smile. It was becoming increasingly difficult to speak.

“Such a dull joke. Please, stop…”

“How could I possibly joke in such a situation? Your Majesty, you will soon be leaving us. It took longer than planned, but…”

Planned? What plan?

As if to prove his words, the pain in my chest intensified. A hot fever seemed to rise from my heart, starting to burn my entire body.

My body felt as if it was on fire, while my hands and feet grew cold.

Marquis Lamian looked down at me with a chilling gaze.

No, it wasn’t just Marquis Lamian. Count Cornuilles, who had just been smiling warmly, the ministers, the maidens, and attendants—they all looked at me with frightening eyes.

As if they had just completed a dreadful task.

“Marquis.”

I barely managed to squeeze out the words, calling my friend.

“Marquis Lamian…”

With all my strength, I shouted his name.

“August!”

I couldn’t accept reality. I didn’t understand.

“Why… why…”

We were friends. You always promised to help me.

Countless questions bubbled in my throat. Now, I couldn’t even speak or draw a proper breath.

“You have betrayed my expectations.”

August de Lamian, my dearest friend, said with an unbearably cold voice.

“If you had fulfilled your duty as queen as promised, this wouldn’t have happened. If only…”

Is that the reason?

I couldn’t understand at all.

I had spent my life striving to be a great ruler. Why, why, why was the price for that?

I couldn’t breathe.

I felt a burning sensation in my throat. My chest felt like it was being crushed by a stone. Death felt very near.

“Thank you for your hard work all this time. Now, please rest.”

No, this can’t be. I don’t want this.

My vision became blurry with tears. As my lungs desperately sought air, my eyes kept shedding hot tears.

Marquis Lamian bowed one last time.

“Thank you for everything, Your Majesty.”

With that, the world fell into darkness.

In an instant, all light and sound vanished, and a pain that felt like my entire body was burning overwhelmed me.

My consciousness wavered.

In the darkness, which could be either hell or heaven, I kept repeating one vow over and over.

If I were given life again, I would never live like this.

Never…

As I choked, my consciousness abruptly cut off.