chapter 19
19 – Wanted Order (1)
I have lived as an orphan my whole life.
And the first thing I learned, as an orphan and poor person, was how to give up.
Giving up expectations, giving up desires, and suppressing desires.
That was a talent I learned before language. I thought that if there was talent in poverty, no one would go further than me.
If you don’t have expectations, you won’t be disappointed. If you cut off your desires and suppress your desires, there is no reason to become anxious or depressed.
I don’t know much about Buddhism, but isn’t this roughly equivalent to thoughtlessness? At least I thought so.
What I want to do now was in the same context.
Lucilla, the protector of the country.
It was the same name in the game my sister always used, but I tried not to expect anything from that name.
The actions that came out while asking and listening to Isla were very similar to those of my older sister, but isn’t that something you don’t know?
The save that I couldn’t delete may have been reflected in this world.
Even if that weren’t the case, he may have grown through adventures before I possessed him.
I couldn’t guarantee that it was my sister. I didn’t even know that she existed simply as a sister character, not as a sister.
It is not like a sister who regards me as a younger sibling, but rather an alter ego who follows in the footsteps of her older sister, keeping only the choices and results she made in her mind.
So, even if we meet, my sister will never recognize me and say that she is sorry, that I am welcome, and that she wanted to meet me.
In that way, I let go of my expectations and organized my mind.
This was right because it could have been worse.
My older sister has adapted to this world and can live freely and have adventures alone without her troublesome younger brother.
So, I might have given up on going back.
I could not have accepted such a shock without preparing for it. It gave the impression that the decapitating sword wielded by the Blood Knight was much easier to defend against.
Even now, just thinking about it makes my heart pound and gives me a headache. I buried my face in the straw bed and swallowed my moans.
I believe that the greatest virtue of humans is preparedness. If you’re prepared for anything, there’s nothing you can’t handle.
As I was trying to organize my thoughts, a translucent window appeared beyond my closed eyelids.
[Skilled]
[Proficiency Bonus: +2]
[Weapon proficiency: simple weapon, special weapon, military weapon, small shield, medium shield, large shield]
[Armor proficiency: light armor, medium armor, heavy armor]
Are you finally giving me this? Even before the thought, there was a feeling flowing into my mind.
And then I felt something that was clearly not mine slowly building up inside me.
Even now, not only the long sword like the blade of a star leaning against the bed, but also the basic methods of handling all the weapons I had picked up so far were being engraved on their own.
If I give it to you a little early, it will last forever.
Even though I thought that, I was secretly relieved.
I was worried that I might not be able to receive it at all.
The game Grim Darker was a game that adopted the free rules of the world’s most famous TRPG franchise.
Thanks to this, some systems, including ability values, were still using the TRPG system, and the skill system was also the same.
As your level increases, you become more proficient and gain experience, giving you bonuses in handling weapons.
Depending on the job and race you choose, you will learn skills to use special weapons or general weapon groups.
But all of this was received when starting the game.
You don’t receive it until a year has passed since you were possessed and you have reached level 2.
I was able to come up with a hypothesis there.
One year later, right after falling to the ground.
Until the moment of level 2 and defeating the Blood Knight.
I didn’t fall asleep even for a moment.
I made an exception for fainting, which was not my will. I didn’t see anything like this come to mind at the time.
In other words, what was needed for this ‘status window refresh’ was sleep and filling in the unfilled parts.
Name, occupation.
Something I didn’t have until a year had passed.
I have finally been recognized as a player. With guilt like a stain that cannot be erased no matter how much time I spend with my eyes closed.
I felt sick.
To escape from the depressing thoughts, I closed my eyes again.
Lucilla, the protector of the country. I don’t know if it’s his sister, but someone who definitely looks like the main character.
I didn’t know if she was my older sister or not, but at least one thing was certain.
Her help was needed to overcome the three clans and improve the situation.
If she is in this new continent, many things will be resolved.
The problem is that we don’t know how that can be done. I groaned and sighed.
And just then the door opened.
“… “Why are you doing this?”
Isla’s clear voice is heard. It was a quiet, yet attention-grabbing voice, perhaps like snow falling on a winter day.
When I slowly opened my eyes, I found myself resting only my lower body on the bed, with my upper body flexibly hanging on the floor.
“It’s the monsters’ way of relieving their frustration.”
“I feel stupid.”
“That’s the key.”
Isla entered the room without responding. He pushed the door closed with his chubby tail and placed the luggage in his arms in front of the armored body.
I was gradually putting the things I had purchased into the cloak, and Isla seemed to be used to that kind of work and finished organizing it without me having to help her.
“What did you buy?”
“Medicines, dry goods, and miscellaneous things.”
It’s all miscellaneous. She looked to see if there was anything she was hiding, and Isla straightened her tail.
“Piton and rope, rosin powder and whetstone to apply to the bow, and….”
“It’s such a mess.”
“Yes, I needed it.”
These were boring items. At the same time, it was something I could not do anything about, and there was absolutely no room for intervention.
It might be unpleasant to interrupt the conversation after asking, but Isla was busy looking at me.
It’s been like that ever since they found out I was a shapeshifter.
At the time, I took action because I had no solution, but when I actually looked at it, it seemed like I was worried.
And it was worth it. Even though I don’t know much about the setting, the shapeshifters were the target of open oppression.
This was because most of them were related to the three clans.
They are the former owners of the existing empire and are beings who spread harm throughout the world.
Since almost all of the monsters in Grim Darker were their creations, it was natural for people to be hostile towards the three clans.
The Shapeshifters were a part of that clan and the only ones whose existence was known.
Their power was simple. Something that can change into something that takes the shape of a beast.
When I thought about the fact that some of the beastmen inherit the powers of the shapeshifters, Isla’s cautious attitude was understandable.
It wouldn’t be strange for ordinary people to think that he was actually a spy for the Transformers.
But where am I an ordinary person?
I was an orphan with a monster body and a stagnant soul.
I was certain that she was not a member of her transformation clan, but I still seemed worried about the woman who had been exiled to the New World because of her lineage.
Isla looked at me from the corner of her eye from time to time and had the same expressionless expression as usual, but if you look closely, a slight difference is revealed.
Her tail was straight and barely moving. Her ears were pinned forward.
Perhaps because of that, he looked glum. I got up to change the subject.
As I lifted up her body, which had been dragged down to the bottom of the bed using only her waist, Isla glanced sideways at me and stopped her hand.
“How’s it going outside?”
“It’s not very good. So I went into hiding.”
As expected. As I approached the window while thinking, there was a city outside.
I never thought I would be in this new continent, but it was a natural sight.
Although it was said to be a land of exiles and outcasts, it was also a place where people lived.
It was natural for cities and villages to be created.
Why, aren’t there places like lawless areas even in western movies?
A place where an unscrupulous mayor rules and a strong gunman rules over the town with the mayor’s rattle.
It was similar here too. The only difference was that there were rules.
I looked at the status window.
[Name: Llewelyn]
[Race: Homunculus]
[Occupation: Warrior – Mourner 2]
[Reputation: Rumored Outlaw]
[Strength: 20(+5)][Dexterity: 20(+5)][Health: 20(+5)]
[Magic Power: □][Inspiration: □][Charm: □]
[Play time: 8,857 hours]
As I look closely at the unfair reputation, a window opens. What was revealed was a bit long.
[Reputation]
[Escaped blood bag / Blood relative
-You defeated the blood knight who was chasing you. The clan is taking this matter seriously and preparing to hunt you down.]
I thought this was like that. He actually defeated them, and then disappeared after saying that he would see them again later.
The reputation of the blood relatives I saw in the game was vaguely similar.
The problem was next.
[Wanted criminal / Servan
-Your notoriety has been passed on to the city by survivors. The owner of the city, who has been closely cooperating with the two forces, has taken this seriously and will try to find you somehow.]
Servan.
It was once a mainstay of development built by an empire that wanted to explore the New World, but is now an abandoned lawless city.
Likewise, it was a city with some rules as it was ruled by a magistrate from an empire that had almost been abandoned.
I was accused of wiping out the cannibal barons and the forces of the Starblade from those cities.
It was a pity that it couldn’t just be called a charge.
It would be nice if that was all, but there was still something left to show in the status window.
[Watch Target / Imperial Intelligence Department
-Somehow, what you did was picked up by some Imperial intelligence. Imperial Intelligence is interested in you for wiping out two factions in a short period of time. However, since you are under the illusion that your military power is considerable, your approach will be cautious.]
Even the Imperial Intelligence Department was looking for me. I could say that everyone outside this city was my enemy.
No, you can’t say for sure that they are enemies? I pushed away the last window that came to mind and looked out the window.
[Rumors of Outlaw / Comprehensive
-You are a being known by rumors that are difficult to believe. Many people will not recognize you right away because they will not easily believe your actions, but they will be wary of your actions and express doubts.]
That was the reason I stayed at this inn for so long. I looked outside blankly, then sighed and laid down on the bed.
“… Are you going to sleep again?”
Instead of answering, I closed my eyes, and Isla sat on the bed right next to me and covered my eyes with her tail.
A fluffy and pleasant tail. The tail fluttered, and a voice full of hesitation caught my consciousness.
“Thank you.”
What a big deal it is to be a shapeshifter.
I tried to pretend I didn’t hear and go back to sleep.
Before that, a harsh pounding on the door was heard.
As I slowly opened my eyes, someone shouted from beyond the door.
“This is an order from Betus, the magistrate and mayor of Servan!”
As I got up, the sound of the door knocking rang again.
In the meantime, I heard heavy footsteps, characteristic of an armed person, that were not hidden.
“Open the door immediately and answer the call!”