chapter 1
1 – Crash (1)
I don’t have parents.
It’s not just now, but even before I ended up like this.
Of course I wasn’t born this way. I must have had parents who gave birth to me since I’m neither a monster nor an adult.
But my memories contain no faces of parents, no voices.
No scenery welcoming me back, saying I’ve returned. Likewise, the warm family scene commonly spoken of is absent from my memories.
And to me, who believes memories make a person, parents were existences no different from not existing at all.
To me, the word home felt desolate and empty.
Lonely, with nothing, bleak and dyed in the same sunset colors as it darkened.
But I was lucky.
“Ah!”
When the word home came to mind, what came with it was night, and if it was night that meant it was time for my sister to come home.
“Did you not eat again? I told you to eat properly.”
Her voice was vivid. Her words were scolding as she unwound the scarf tied neatly around her neck, but I could feel the affection.
To me, nagging and affection were indistinguishable words.
And to me, an orphan, the word family held the meaning of only my sister.
So to put it simply, to me home and night were synonyms. My sister only came home at night, and was away working during the day.
“What makes that game so fun that you play it so diligently?”
We always ate together. After eating and cleaning up, when I came back from doing the dishes, my sister would be sitting legs crossed in front of the computer, playing the same game the whole time.
It was a dark fantasy game called Grim Darker.
She said it was a well-made trilogy with great teammates and story.
My sister was especially fond of that game.
“No reason. It’s just fun.”
My sister laughed and spoke. At first she gave me all kinds of reasons when I looked at her with my chin propped in my hands, but later she would simply answer that way.
It was only after my sister suddenly went missing that I considered playing that game.
At first I filed a missing persons report. I put up flyers everywhere. Fortunately I had good friends so it wasn’t difficult at first, but…
Relying on friends for this personal matter was shameless. Eventually even I stopped putting up flyers.
Because I wasn’t a shameless person.
If she had decided to give up taking care of me and live her own life, it wasn’t my place to find her.
But I was curious why she had abandoned me.
I wanted to understand, to know what kind of thoughts she was living with.
Luckily my sister’s computer was still in the house.
My sister had no blog or SNS, so following her thoughts wasn’t easy.
Naturally my eyes turned to the game. The dark fantasy game my sister liked. The famous game with popular sequels I saw everywhere.
I started with the characters my sister used to play.
I watched how she progressed the story with those characters.
Since it wasn’t a game with different quest lists, I had to play to the ending, but the choices my sister made were clear.
My sister didn’t distinguish between good and evil deeds. It seemed she had done it so much that she took actions to produce the best possible results.
Sometimes she made different choices on each save, as if caught in a moral dilemma, but later choices tended to be similar.
At most the protagonist’s race and job varied a little. It was obvious she had been immersed in this game.
The name was always the same. The appearance was nearly identical too.
Even when the race varied, the character’s appearance changed considerably, but the characters my sister raised looked very similar.
I lied for a trustworthy companion and dirtied my hands for those shivering in their fate.
Most were kindly, yet the evil doers were punished so harshly it made me sad.
Thus, it’s been two years since my sister’s disappearance.
In the end, I came to enjoy the game called ‘Daiker’. Perhaps it’s because we were siblings.
However, unlike my sister, I didn’t immerse myself fully in that world.
What I especially enjoyed was a certain fixed style of play.
In this unique game of real-time paused RPG, I loved the robust character that could single-handedly kill all enemies without much of my control.
Even with many trials and errors, the character always had the same choices, never changing drastically.
A warrior that pushes steadfastly, breaking all obstacles and tearing apart enemies.
That was my favorite build.
Even with improvements and adjustments, the broad framework didn’t change.
A race with exceptional physical abilities, yet could not use skills due to the lack of magic.
Similarly, a build with almost no skill, but heavily influenced by simple, brutish ability stats.
It was the same when I heard the news about the new DLC.
The series’s macguffin, mentioned only as the villain, was said to encounter three races in the newly discovered land.
I was proud of my build, and thus, without hesitation, I chose the race.
That time still remains clear in my mind.
Without reading the familiar description, I hastily chose a race and pressed start.
If I knew this would happen, I wouldn’t have.
Opening my eyes, an immense vastness greeted me.
A largeness that nothing could reach, and no thought came that anything would.
That was the world.
There was nothing to restrain me.
Beneath was a forest covered in white, above were only the high-flown clouds and the blue sky.
Underneath that sky, I was falling.
There was no parachute. Not a thing in this world.
There was magic, but I lacked the power to wield it.
Frantically, I spread my arms out. Trying to balance myself spread-eagled, but my body was not powerful enough to counteract a world.
Naturally, my body spun around. I couldn’t make out the right direction.
The ground and sky, at least beautiful sceneries in my mind, belligerently spun around me as if to mock, drifted far away.
I was falling.
Possibly the most absurd fall on Earth, perhaps unprecedented even in this dark fantasy.
No, should I call it an unprotected freefall?
It feels no different, but my sister’s words that raised me came to mind.
Everything is a state of the mind.
Hence, I thought positively as much as I could.
When else might I have such an experience?
Gu-gu-gu-gu-gu!
Those positive energies didn’t last long.
Attempting to manage my spinning in the rough, heavy wind that pounded my body.
Not knowing whether the wind was coming at me while undermining my effort or if I was falling into it, the wind choked my breath.
Even when the ground was still far away, a question came to mind.
Could I truly survive this height?
‘No’ would be the usual answer but, considering my special circumstances, it wasn’t so simple.
Even though it felt like an enormous distance after piercing the clouds with my body and falling for over a minute.
However, I knew I could stay alive.
[Name: □]
[Race: Homunculus]
[Job: Warrior – Mourner]
[Reputation: Unknown]
[Strength: 20(+5)][Agility: 20(+5)][Health: 20(+5)]
[Magic: □][Inspiration: □][Charm: □]
[Playtime: 8,767 hours]
The five words that appeared in the corner of my field of vision said so.
I closed my eyes again.
How did it come to this?
*
When people exchange greetings, they usually state their job or rank.I’m President Kim Ding-Dong.
I’m Lieutenant Lee Moh-Moh.
That’s the phrase to use.
In this sense, when I introduce myself, the first thing I say is a position that could make people suspect my mental state.
[Name: □]
[Species: Homunculus]
[Profession: □]
[Reputation: Blood bag]
[Strength: 20(+5)][Agility: 20(+5)][Health: 20(+5)]
[Magic: □][Inspiration: □][Charm: □]
[Playtime: 8,759 hours]
In this space, my current position is as the blood bag.
I was the vampire’s official prey and livestock that was slowly being eaten over a long period.
The distinctive dagger stuck in my heart and my body that didn’t die despite the gaping wound were proof of this.
Similarly, the sturdy chains that bound me, chains that could even tie up an elephant, were evidence of this.
However, as with humans, there are occasionally vampires who show affection to their livestock.
Such affectionate livestock may get promoted to be a pet.
I just mentioned it because I thought of it, but that wasn’t my story.
Becoming a pet whose limbs and tongue are cut off and forced to walk around with a collar was not something I was interested in.
Of course, there was no room for my opinion in that.
Instead, my state of affairs was rather pitiful.
No one came to find me, and I was largely neglected livestock aside from the occasional visitor coming to draw blood.
Ordinary livestock would either run away or die if left unattended, but conveniently, I did not.
To be exact, all those like me who were stuck in this strange space were just like that.
Anyway, I was pretty convenient livestock.
I didn’t die even if I didn’t eat.
I didn’t lose consciousness even if I didn’t drink.
Sleep was necessary, but that was for the brain and not the body.
I was livestock optimized to be neglected.
That was the identity of Homunculus, the species I chose.
[Playtime: 8,760 hours]
I have lived as such livestock for a year.
A year was both a long and short time.
It flew by when you were occupied with work or struggling with important issues despite having much to handle.
But when you had nothing to do but to hang around, it was excruciatingly long.
Still, it afforded ample time for thoughts and reflections, something I couldn’t do when busy with survival.
I hadn’t properly thought about things when I lost everything and directly after becoming livestock.
At that moment, I reminded myself,
My sister had disappeared.
The last character she chose was Homunculus, the same species I chose.
Her disappearance left no trace. Even the police couldn’t find any traces of her.
Furthermore, she didn’t have money to flee the country. Even if she had, there was no record of her leaving.
So, I thought,
she might be in this world.
Of course, initially, I thought she abandoned me.
She’s a human being with her own dreams.
But she also had her younger brother, me, who was way too young and incapable of doing anything independently.
In other words, I was baggage. She had already fulfilled her duty by taking care of me until I reached high school.
Until the point I started to look for her in the game, I had accepted my situation with terrible depression.
That her abandoning me was entirely reasonable.
I was even arrogant enough to blame her. I carried resentment until I tried the game she played and ended up in the same situation.
But now, I know better. I know it’s not true.
My sister was a responsible person. She could put up with the flaws in front of her and hope for the best.
She had a broader perspective and always hoped for the best. She was a person who positively despised abandoning her own people.
This might be the case, even if she didn’t consider me as a family. But I didn’t overthink it.
I’ll get to know the details when we meet again.
I just made a promise to myself.
That I would definitely find my sister and return.
At least, I felt this way before I jumped off by myself.