I Became The Spearman Of The Academy

Chapter 45. Thoughts for Each Other

***

“Student Han Chunsung. The Royal High Academy regulations clearly do not restrict romance between students, so it’s not a violation of the rules. And I think it’s perfectly natural for students of your age to develop feelings for each other when attending lectures together in the same place. You might feel attracted to outstanding, cool, or pretty students, express that attraction, and eventually develop into a romantic relationship. That’s an entirely natural emotion, and no one should blame you for it.”

As I watched Kali calmly continue speaking, I couldn’t say a word for a moment.

Kali was suddenly talking about romance between students.

“However, isn’t it still less than a week since you entered the academy? I think this is the time when everyone should be burning with determination, focusing on growth and advancement…”

As Kali paused her speech and tapped the teaching materials she had brought, thud, thud, I flinched involuntarily at the oddly resonant sound.

But I felt truly wronged.

It’s not like I was actually dating another student, I had just faced a ridiculous situation of an unexpected confession based on a misunderstanding…

Strictly speaking, I was purely a victim.

I glanced at Luna, who could be considered the root cause, and coincidentally, Luna was looking at me too.

“…”
“…”

And as soon as our eyes met, her characteristic purple pupils shook greatly, and I found myself blinking involuntarily.

I had thought Luna’s sudden statement was due to pure malice, or truly a misunderstanding. But Luna’s reaction now was too strange.

She avoided my gaze belatedly. For a moment, she seemed to feel sorry for me.

‘Am I imagining things?’

That couldn’t be the case with Luna.

As I was lost in thought,

Thud!

I flinched at the sudden sound.

Turning my gaze, I saw Kali looking at me with an even fiercer gaze than before, having slammed down the teaching materials.

“Student Han Chunsung.”
“Ah, yes… Instructor Kali.”
“I… don’t want to blame Student Han Chunsung for such feelings, because they’re entirely natural. And really… I’m not trying to embarrass you or make you feel ashamed. It’s just that it’s still the early days of the academy. I’d like you to exercise a bit more self-restraint. That’s what I wanted to say.”

Faced with Kali’s cold demeanor… I could only nod.

“…Yes. I understand. I’ll be careful.”

This was a losing battle for me.

There was no answer I could give now.

Rumors about Luna and me had already spread widely, and they had reached Kali’s ears.

And if I were to say now that Luna had misunderstood, I knew better than anyone that it would only make me look more foolish.

I immediately understood why Kali was looking at me coldly now. From the original work, she never looked favorably upon romance between students.

She was one of the instructors who severely disliked student romance.

She believed that when students fall in love, they neglect their training. For someone who values effort like her, students in love were almost objects of hatred.

That’s why even in the middle of the novel, she would scold Leonhardt, saying “Did you come to the academy to fall in love!?”

“…Then I’ll stop here. Let’s start the lecture, students should all open their textbooks.”

At Kali’s firm words, I took out my textbook with a dazed mind, but my mood had greatly sunk.

I had prioritized Luna and ended up being misunderstood, and as a result…

Even Kali’s perception of me had become significantly worse.

This was… a big problem for me too.

‘What should I do?’

Kali’s private training room. Would I be able to use that special space in the future?

It was an essential space for me to move forward. It wasn’t just a consideration, I ‘absolutely’ had to improve my relationship with Kali to be able to use it.

For me, Kali was now the most important person.

“Hang in there.”

…Pat.

As David gently patted my shoulder and spoke, I barely managed to swallow the sigh that was about to burst out.

***

“…Then let’s take a break for a moment. We’ll resume the lecture in 10 minutes.”

As Kali announced a brief break, the students finally let out sighs of relief and carefully rose from their seats.

Kali’s lecture, which continued into the afternoon following the morning in a chilly atmosphere. It was enough to freeze the classroom, and no one dared to go against her mood.

Everyone tried to focus on the lecture as quiet as mice, and even breathing out or lightly stretching their bodies was done while watching Kali’s reactions.

…But the break time was an exception, and as most of the students left their seats, Kali’s heart wasn’t comfortable seeing this.

Rather, her heart was more uncomfortable than most of the students.

“……”

As she gently sat down in the instructor’s exclusive seat, she absentmindedly rubbed her face.

ㅡThis isn’t like me.

…And once again, she felt that way.

From the moment she entered the classroom today, and throughout the lecture, she had to feel countless times that this wasn’t like her.

Even she thought about why she was acting so foolishly, treating the students coldly and making them uncomfortable throughout the lecture… The more she thought about it, the more foolish she felt.

‘Why am I doing this?’

…What was making her so upset? Why was she in such a bad mood today?

Her behavior of taking out her bad mood on the students… even she felt like she might hate herself.

Rustle.

As she roughly brushed her hair, her gaze unconsciously went to the interior of the classroom.

There were admirable students reviewing the lecture content by looking at their textbooks, but most had left the classroom as if they didn’t want to be in the same space as her during the break time.

She felt that strongly too.

And…

Her gaze suddenly turned to Student Han Chunsung.

“……”

Sitting silently in his seat, focusing on the textbook as if reviewing the previous lecture.

Clearly, Student Han Chunsung was working hard.

Throughout today’s lecture, she had often glanced at him, but she had never seen Student Han Chunsung listening to her lecture carelessly or not concentrating.

‘…I’m sorry.’

So even now, looking at him, she felt even more apologetic.

In the classroom where all the students were present, I had singled out Student Han Chunsung and humiliated him, though I said it wasn’t humiliation.

Although I said I wasn’t trying to humiliate him, how much shame and humiliation must Student Han Chunsung have felt at that moment from my words?

He was only twenty years old.

Although legally an adult, it was still an age where emotions aren’t properly controlled and everything is immature.

Looking back at myself just a few years ago. I know better than anyone how foolish my thoughts and values were until I stood on the battlefield.

Yet I had done something I should never have done to a student.

How terrible it was as an instructor, using authority to disregard a student’s personality…

Biting her lip, even now she couldn’t understand herself.

‘…Why did I do that?’

While saying that romance between students was natural and shouldn’t be blamed, I clearly pushed Student Han Chunsung to the end as if criticizing it.

As if forcing an answer from the student, I had only spoken foolish words.

“…”

Unconsciously letting out a light sigh, she absentmindedly brushed her hair.

And she had a vague idea.

‘Perhaps…’

Had her expectations for Student Han Chunsung been too high?

A few days ago, she had spent several hours with Student Han Chunsung, having lunch together and engaging in an unexpected duel in her private training room.

The emotions she felt while looking at Student Han Chunsung then were truly special.

‘A brilliantly shining raw gem… I felt he would become a talent to be an axis of the empire.’

Those exceptional beings, said to number less than twenty even within the empire, are called ‘axes of the empire’.

I had already thought I had seen a student who would become such an axis.

ㅡHan Chunsung.

Although his Talent grade was Common, how much would the student develop later and become a great force for this empire?

And even save countless people in this world full of various dangers, with the frontlines gradually being pushed back…

I had held unreasonable expectations for the student.

So, was I foolishly getting angry and arbitrarily disappointed at the thought that he had romantic feelings?

“……”

Letting out a light sigh, she composed herself.

‘Let’s act as usual.’

She decided to calm down and treat the students a bit more gently, and after this lecture ended, she needed to properly apologize to Student Han Chunsung separately.

Because she knew how foolishly she had acted, she absolutely had to do so.

***

The day’s lectures, which felt much longer than usual, finally ended.

Rustle.

Many students hastily stood up as if they wanted to leave the classroom as soon as possible, and David was no exception.

“Han Chunsung?”
“…Huh?”
“Do you have any plans today? If not, I was thinking we could train together.”

For a moment, I felt very grateful for David’s careful suggestion.

But more than that, I still had something I needed to do.

“Thank you so much for saying that. But… I have something I need to say to Instructor Kali.”
“…Do you really have to do it today?”

Looking at David, who asked in surprise, I awkwardly nodded.

I had to speak today.

It was obvious that Kali now held negative feelings towards me. If I tried to resolve it over time, there was a possibility that the bad impression would solidify.

That would be the worst for me.

“Yeah, I think I need to speak to her properly today.”
“Well… I can’t recommend it, but if that’s what you want. Anyway, good luck.”

Pat.

As David patted my shoulder again and left his seat, I also gathered my thoughts.

Honestly, even now I’m not sure.

How I should handle this well…

Although Kali’s coldness seemed to have thawed a bit by the end of the lecture, her gaze was still cold.

Even right now.

Kali, remaining in her seat after finishing the lecture, seemed to be pondering something.

I could fully sympathize with why other students were trying to leave immediately upon seeing Kali like this, as there was even a kind of pressure emanating from her.

‘But I have to face it.’

This too was reality.

A reality I had to face. And a reality I couldn’t and shouldn’t avoid.

Rustle.

I rose from my seat and slowly headed towards Kali.

Step.
Step.

Even as I approached her, my hands trembled slightly.

Could I properly persuade Kali?

Could I have a proper conversation with her, who likely held negative feelings towards me?

I was really nervous.

And as I finally reached Kali, I carefully opened my mouth.

“Instructor Kali.”
“Student Han Chunsung.”

As our voices overlapped as if by chance, I was surprised for a moment.

And as I met her gaze right after…

It felt too strange.

‘Why is her gaze…’

Kali’s gaze was completely beyond my expectations.

So much so…

That I forgot what I was going to say for a moment.