I Became the Crown Prince of a Ruined Country

29 – Shades

It was already late afternoon when I returned from meeting Pyeongwon-gun.

The sun had not yet set, but the shadows were gradually lengthening, foretelling the night to come soon. I felt like I was looking at my own situation, so I smiled bitterly.

The one who greeted me when I returned to the mansion was none other than the detained brother-in-law.

I had heard from Pyeongwon-gun about the disposition of Hyung-ga, but it was only then that I felt relieved when I met him face-to-face.

“…Hyungga.”

“Oh, Senior. Are you back?”

Jingjia greeted me with the same attitude as usual even though he had been imprisoned for half a day.

Looking at his face, he seems to have gone through a hard time, but he is so cool.

Looking at her lightly waving her hand, I felt funny at myself for worrying about her until just now.

“How’s your body? Has the wound healed?”

Considering the hygiene of the place where Hyungga was confined, there was a risk of secondary infection. Jing Jia shrugged his shoulders, and Go shook his head.

“You’re all right. Young master’ expression isn’t very clear?”

How can I have a good expression?

It’s like I made Hyungga pay the price for my selfish desires.

Fortunately, the punishment handed down to Jingjia was not a capital punishment.

It was a quarrel between commoners, and the fact that they first drew their weapons and attacked, and the fact that it was aimed at subduing them, was the accepted result.

Of course, it goes without saying that Pyeongwongun’s influence played a significant role in the process of accepting this claim.

Instead, the punishment imposed on Hyung-ga was an order of expulsion from the country.

It could be said that it was a kind of blacklist that would result in complete banishment from the country of Jo and severe punishment if discovered again in the country of Jo.

Leave Handan before the sun goes down.

The luggage that Jing-ga carried was a sign of a traveler who was going on a long journey alone.

“Don’t beat yourself up too much. Even if I hadn’t met the practitioner anyway, I would have had a big fight with Nogucheon. It’s like I stayed a little longer.”

Jinga’s words were sincere. Now that I think about it, if it hadn’t been for my intervention, Jing Jia would have lost the bet with Lu Gu Chun.

And Jing Jia must have left Handan, disobeying the incomprehensible defeat. Thanks to her personality that she got to know while spending time with her brother’s family, the process was drawn in her mind.

“Therefore, there is nothing to be sorry about me. Instead, you should look back on yourself as a practitioner.”

“Myself?”

“Did you feel well about this? How big an impact your decisions have on those under you.”

Due to my dogma of reaping the spirit, everything around me collapsed.

Pyeongwon-gun withdrew its support for me and gave up the will of the next-generation Yeonjo alliance.

Despite my order, Hyungga took responsibility and was sentenced to deportation.

It’s not just the two of them.

The lives of my family members, including Hankyung, also went through rough storms.

When I didn’t answer anything and just hung my head, Jingga laughed out loud and tousled my hair.

“To kill grass. That’s what everyone does. If you do well from the start, why would there be a distinction between a child and an adult? Everyone becomes an adult while experiencing that. And look, there are adults like me, right?”

Jing Jia pointed at himself and giggled.

Jingjia encouraged me, saying that there are people who do things and run away, but there is no need to be discouraged because you have shouldered the responsibility yourself.

Then he spoke again in a serious voice.

“Meet more people. You don’t have to do everything by yourself. If you know your own helplessness, you can fill people around you to make up for it.”

I think it would have been great if we had made it this far, but Jing Jia dared to add a sajok.

“Well, looking at the seniors now, it might be difficult right now.”

“What do you mean by that?”

When I got angry, Hyung-ga made an expression he had seen before instead of answering.

When was it…. Okay. I am going to reap my brother’s family and visit Pyeongwon-gun. That was the look on Jing Jia’s face when he joked with me, who was so nervous that I was frozen.

Again, Jing Jia was jokingly telling me not to be so downhearted and to be confident.

Jing Jia turned his head and looked west. As the sun goes down, a red sunset begins to cover the ground.

The remaining time for Hyung-ga was until the last light of that candle-like setting sun.

Jingga grabbed my shoulder and walked past me.

“Your sister is leaving. Next time you see her, be a bit more mature, Gongja.”

Without looking back, Jing Jia’s back goes away.

As if we don’t need a grandiose ceremony anyway, since we both instinctively realize that today’s parting doesn’t mean breaking up forever.

The person who will be my first diner, and possibly my last diner.

I stood still and watched the person’s back until it completely disappeared from sight.

Thinking over the words Hyungga left behind.

§

“Are you gone?”

“Yes.”

When I returned from seeing off Hyung-ga, Young-jeong hurriedly approached me and asked.

He must have been worried because he was also a benefactor to Yeongjeong.

“Sad?”

Are you sad?

It would be a lie if it were not.

No matter how certain he was that he would meet Hyung-ga again, the emptiness of losing the person who was by his side right away was not the kind of thing that could be easily resolved.

Moreover, Jing Jia was the first historical figure I took as my own.

What was even more special for me was the relationship that my brother and I would someday become so close to each other that we would risk each other’s lives.

The vacancy left by such a trustworthy person was too great.

It is impossible to stand still, missing the person who left with you.

Because there are still people left by my side.

“It’s okay.”

So I should be fine.

Rather than being immersed in sadness, I must find people who will be with me again and build a prop on the crumbling tree.

In order to do that, we can’t just be discouraged like this.

“Would you like to lower your head a little?”

“Hair?”

As I slightly bent my knees to level them, Jung reached over and began to work through my tousled hair.

“Hey, why does Dan help me so much?”

Jung continued talking before I could answer.

“Because I am a princess of Qin?”

“What?”

“But, I have no value in the Qin Dynasty. My father is a guy who abandoned his wife and children and fled to the Qin Dynasty to live for himself.”

His tone was calm, but his words were harsh.

It seemed like resentment towards his father who abandoned him, but it sounded different to me.

I was close to lamenting that I couldn’t give anything back, even though I risked everything to help Jung.

“You know what? The capital of the Qin Dynasty is Hamyang. I heard that my half-brother was there. She abandoned us and immediately gave birth to another child.”

Jung was incredibly smart for her young age.

He understood the structure of power, and he was aware of what position he was in.

Born to a father who was a collateral royal of the Qin Dynasty and a wealthy mother of the Zhao Dynasty, Jeong was not treated as an official member of the Qin Dynasty and was looked down upon in the Zhao Dynasty because of her lineage from the Qin Dynasty.

A life that was barely saved thanks to her mother’s family pouring all her assets into it.

In the gap of unconditional hostility, the people of Zhao must have laughed at Jeong.

A child abandoned by his parents.

It is ridiculed that your mother’s family collapsed and she became a dancer who sells laughter, and your father forgot you and already gave birth to a son with someone else in the Qin Dynasty.

How cruel are the people of Zhao who told the true story of Yin, his father, who dared to return to Qin to hurt Jeong.

I couldn’t even imagine the pain Jung must have suffered.

It was horrific and pitiful to imagine what Jung was thinking and what values he would have had while spending such a childhood.

“There’s nothing I can give Dan just because he treats me well. Rather, I…”

I took Jeong’s hand, who was still tidying my hair.

Why does Jung say such a thing?

The reason why he dares to bring out his wounds and hurt himself is probably because he doesn’t know how to accept his kindness towards him.

Before me was a child who had become so accustomed to hostility that even good will could not be endured without endless doubts and trials.

“You don’t have to push yourself so hard.”

Us.

I just said that Jung is us. Herself and her mother. She has not yet let go of her mother, who treats her like an abandoned child.

Jung was still hoping.

Attention, warmth, love.

Human beings have no choice but to do that.

Since they are social animals, they cannot live alone, so no matter how dark and ugly they see their side and suffer from distrust and hatred, in one corner of their hearts they hope for a relationship with others.

Knowing that, we sympathize with the pain of others and reach out to them.

It was called compassion.

Neither cheap sympathy for my superiority nor pity for moral satisfaction. Just unconditional love for others that naturally blooms from the source in the heart.

The answer I gave to Pyeongwon-gun.

Gyeom-Ae (兼愛 Agape).

Emotions claimed by countless religious people, thinkers, and philosophers, both in the East and the West.

To put it grandiosely, yes, but to put it simply, there is no reason. I just help because I want to help.

It seems that Jo Na-ra passed on her affection to me to try some taffy, but it was rather a welcome thing for me.

But we can’t just suffer like they want.

‘Jingga called me a child, but I have memories of my previous life that are different from others.’

Until now, only a part of that knowledge was barely patched into rags, but that will change in the future.

‘Gather people. Eventually you have to go that way. But who can help me now? So first of all I need….’

It’s money.

That’s a lot of money that will bring me freedom and talent.