I Became a Barbarian Warrior Who Hid His Face in a World Where Everything Was Reversed

Chapter 79: Drunken Jokes (1)

Serif’s first reaction to hearing Hope’s screams was.

“Something’s happened.”

She was blushing, chewing her white tail like a gag, but now she had the air of a serious, elite priestess.

With a flick of her wand, her bathrobe vanished, and a clean robe of priestly garb enveloped her body.

I swallowed hard; the transformation had happened so quickly I hadn’t seen it.

“I’m going to go downstairs and see what’s going on, and Balkan is taking a break.”

“But the voice came from the men’s room.”

“Eh.”

Serif’s red eyes widened slightly at my report.

Her eyes widened with embarrassment, as if this was a rare occurrence.

“Gahhhhhh!”

Then another scream rang out.

This time, it wasn’t Hope’s voice.

“Hitolis?

The priest of the Joy Hog Party.

“I’ll head to the male cleansing chamber first, Serif, and you can check the other side.”

“Oh, okay, just get him out of here and I’ll check it out.”

We quickly headed downstairs. I followed Serif down the stairs.

As we descended each flight of stairs, her chewed tail wagged seductively in front of my eyes.

‘I wonder what it would feel like to pull it.’

I resisted the urge to act.

“What’s going on here?”

“Serif!”

“Well, that is. I just came back and heard some screams coming from the purification chamber.”

The priests gathered nearby squinted at Serif.

From the way they spoke, it seemed like they hadn’t quite grasped the situation yet.

Serif treated the priests gathered around her in a completely different way than she treated me.

It’s like the difference between an office worker who’s enjoying himself after work and one who’s exhausted from overtime and late nights.

The way she talked was not much different, and she was smiling in a way that seemed warm at first glance⋯but it felt like a forced smile with no emotion.

Maybe it was because I had just seen Serif’s sincere expression, but the threshold felt even bigger.

“Oh, what should I do, what should I do⋯!”

“Why isn’t the male Paladin coming!”

I turned my attention away from the emotions and toward the men’s purification room, where I could hear screams and chatter.

I rammed the door open and entered.

“Gah!”

The male priests huddled together in the purification chamber began to cover their torsos and stomachs.

“Aaah!”

I swallowed the bad words that were about to come out of my spinal cord reflexes and made my way to where they were huddled.

“Ew, ew, ew.”

I caught sight of Hope, gasping for breath on the floor of the purification chamber, his face contorted.

Honestly, in the back of my mind, I was considering the possibility that he’d screamed out during the bath.

Unfortunately or fortunately, I was wrong.

“Bar, Balkan?”

“Yes. It’s Balkan. Are you awake?”

Hope slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me.

‘Okay. At least he’s conscious. ‘

I looked at Hope’s body, which was the average male in the world and immediately frowned.

“What the hell happened?”

A very faint [darkness] was felt within Hope’s reddened body.

It is far more primitive than the monsters, and is nothing more than a claw compared to Diana’s curse.

It was definitely [Darkness].

Straining my eyes, I checked Hope’s status window.

[Blasphemous Curse]

– Contact with objects imbued with holy power causes excruciating pain.

– Even so, you will instinctively crave powerful holy power.

“I don’t know, as soon as I sprinkle holy water on myself to take a bath, I feel pain⋯”

Holy water has a weak divine power.

When you sprinkle such holy water all over your body, you can’t help but feel pain to the point of screaming.

“Huh!”

“Why, why?”

Hope cried out, his eyes suddenly wide.

“Looking at you, my body is getting hotter and hotter⋯ my heart is racing⋯ I can’t calm it down⋯”

Apparently, it wasn’t just his body that was sick.

I wondered if the holy water sprinkled on his hair had hurt his head as well.

It wasn’t easy for him to talk.

“Hang in there, I’ll take you to Serif soon-”

“Ugh, ouch!”

“Hey, shit.”

As I bent down to pick him up and carry him down the hall, Hope lunged at me with his arms outstretched.

-Tsk!

Instinctively, I threw a short punch with my Radiant Blessing, catching Hope in the jaw. Luckily, I managed to control my force.

Hope fell to the ground just as I lunged at him.

As he hit the ground, I heard a strange sound.

“Is Mr. Hope dead?”

Contrary to the words muttered by the male priest looking on, Hope’s back slowly rose and fell as he collapsed into a slouched pose.

“He’s still breathing.”

Not only that, but the Blessing of Radiance tore through the [Darkness] within Hope’s body.

“⋯⋯”

“⋯⋯”

As he spoke with inward relief, the male priests’ icy gazes fell upon me.

“Well, it’s self-defense. You saw that, didn’t you?”

“Hmm.⋯”

“Mr. Hope was in a strange state⋯”

I walked over to the fallen Hope. I didn’t want to hug him, so I carried him around my waist like a piece of luggage and left the purification room.

Hitolis was already lying in the hallway in front of the purification chamber.

Thankfully, it seemed to be a bloodless affair. With Serif there, that was to be expected.

I laid Hope down next to Hitolis and carefully examined her body.

I could feel the aura of [Darkness] within her body.

[Blasphemous Curse]

Hitolis had the same curse as Hope.

Serif, who had placed her holy hand on Hitolis’ back, spoke in a low voice.

“It looks like they were cursed on your last trip to the Labyrinth, and it’s a pretty bad curse.”

“So, it was from this trip to the Labyrinth.

Somehow, I wondered why they both had curses that hadn’t existed before they entered the Labyrinth.

Sure enough, as I recall, they, along with Jubeel and Joy Hog, were shivering as we exited the maze.

What a curse.

“That’s the worst curse for a priest.”

A priest deals with the divine.

If a cleric is cursed to feel great pain when he touches the divine, he will crave it even more.

‘I would have jumped up and down with joy if I had gotten it.’

A ridiculous self-destructive cycle is complete. A literal circle of pain.

‘That explains why Hope jumped at me⋯’

[Blessing of Radiance]

This blessing naturally came to mind.

A light far more green and warm than the light contained in the holy water. A light that lightly tore through the darkness.

‘Could it be that the Blessing of Radiance has divine powers?’

It was a plausible deduction.

“Priests. Please prepare for the sacrifice. We will begin the ritual of the sunrise. Please move Hitolis with particular care.”

At Serif’s words, the priests watching from the periphery began to move in unison, carrying the two cursed people.

Serif cautiously stepped to my side and whispered.

“By any chance, did Balkan do this?”

“Yes? Which one do you mean?”

“Mr. Hope, what you said. The darkness of the remnants… I don’t feel any magi.”

“Magi⋯?”

“Yes. Magi. A loathsome, horrible aura.”

Serif called what I’d been calling [Darkness] by the name of the Remnant Darkness, the Magi.

‘That’s a shitty name.’

“Curses are tricky enough, but those with magi attached to them are even more vicious than conventional curses, and they’re twice as difficult to perform, so I’m guessing Mr. Hope is under a magi-infested curse along with Hitolis, since I don’t sense any magi on him.”

I involuntarily remembered driving my blessed fist into Hope’s face.

‘I’m pretty sure that’s when the darkness was torn away.’

“Mmm. I see!”

Serif, who had been observing me carefully, smiled broadly at my recollection.

She looked as if she’d gained some sort of conviction.

“Thanks to you, Balkan, this will be easier.”

She had examined my blessing, and even if she hadn’t said it, she seemed to have come to a conclusion quickly.

“Please hone that power further. It seems like it’ll be a bit more sinister for a while.”

“The Labyrinth is getting nastier?”

“Yes⋯ I haven’t seen magi above the fifteenth floor since ‘that day’ ten years ago⋯ but I think it’s because of the recent omens that they’re starting to reappear.”

I remembered the shadowy, ominous, dark beasts I’d seen every time I’d entered the Labyrinth since the Omen, and the terrible abomination that was darkness itself.

‘I wonder if that was Magi’s possession.’

After thinking about Magi for a moment, I asked Serif a question.

“I have, but from the looks of things, neither the priests nor the explorers seem to know much about Magi.”

“Hmmm, that’s the thing, Balkan. You’re a low-level explorer, right?”

“⋯Yes.”

Serif suddenly asked, “So, what’s your tier?”

I nodded sheepishly, realizing that I was a Bronze novice.

“Ah. I don’t blame you, Balkan, for being a low-tier explorer, of course you don’t know, and I doubt many of the intermediate ones do.”

Serif smiled bitterly at me.

“It’s a sad fact, but every time the Labyrinth opens, explorers die by the dozens every day, and new explorers flock to it to fill the void, for there is something to be gained only in the Labyrinth.”

Blessings, artifacts, rare powers and treasures that can only be found in the Labyrinth.

Explorers flock to the Labyrinth like moths to a flame to get them, and die in the process.

And new explorers fill the void.

“You also can’t ignore the passage of a decade, which means that far more people don’t know about Magi than know about it.”

Of those who were active a decade ago, the talented ones quickly moved up the ranks, while the rest either faded away, quit exploring, or ran out of steam.

Even Joy Hog’s party, which has the longest seniority among the junior explorers, has an average of three and a half years of explorer experience.

Ten years was a long way off.

“Do you think that answers some of your questions?”

“Yes. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Hoohoo, if there’s anything else you don’t know or want to know, just ask.”

Serif smiled brightly, her tail flicking at my thanks.

It was a genuine, heartfelt smile that she didn’t show her congregants.

Suddenly, I had a question.

‘How old is Serif, if she knows so much about what happened ten years ago?’

She’s Idelbert’s sister, so she must be younger than her but then I realized that I don’t even know Idelbert’s age.

Even in this world, it would be rude to ask a woman’s age, so I swallowed my question and asked another.

“If you get cursed, is that what they do to you?”

“Uh, no. Unfortunately, we have to charge outsiders a fee to do so, it’s a temple rule.”

Serif continued.

“But it’s different for those of us who follow the Great Mother Goddess. How can we stand by and watch someone who walks the same path as us suffer?”

Indeed, one must have such a character to be respected by others.

As I stare in stunned admiration at Serif, who has made such a saintly statement, she looks at me and perks up her white cat ears.

“Are you envious?”

“Yes.”

You never know what’s going to happen in a person’s life, much less in the labyrinth. I could certainly be cursed.

I nodded, and Serif suddenly leaned in close to me.

“Then.”

We’re almost touching.

She stares at me, the distance between us barely touching, and asks.

“Why don’t you walk the same path as me, Balkan?”

***

I decided to leave the topic of reparations and compensation for another time, and parted ways with Serif, who went off to remove Hitolis curse.

I returned the bathrobe and was given a change of clothes.

The clothes were a little tight, but I didn’t complain, figuring I’d find something else that fit, so I put them on and left the temple.

I walked through the streets of the Labyrinth City as the sun began to set.

Already, I could hear the chattering and drinking parties.

In the shadows of a corner, a daring couple was mixing their tongues in a flirtatious manner.

The woman was taking the lead.

Alcohol. Sex. All the normal human needs.

These are all things you’re supposed to stay away from when you join the Mother Earth Goddess.

‘I’m supposed to be celibate here?’

I shake my head, feeling the heavy buildup of semen on my bottom that I’ve been unable to quench.

‘It’s not easy.’

Honestly, I am close to my limit now. I’d have to think about Serif’s suggestion.

‘I should get back to the inn and rest.’

As I walked through the streets, my body was still damp from the labyrinth and the bath.

“Mr. –!”

A familiar voice called out from behind me.

Light footsteps rushed toward me.

“Mr. –!”

-Hwaah!

I reflexively turned my body slightly, and the person who had lunged at me with both arms outstretched, aiming for my back, fell to the sidewalk.

“Heh!”

A cute little squeal kicked up dust.

As the woman fell, white paper spilled out of the bag that had fallen with her, fluttering around her.

The fall lifted her skirt, revealing the panties wrapped around her smooth, shapely ass.

Plain white panties with crude but cute flower designs on them.

The panties were ripe for the picking as she flapped her ass.

A red-haired elf girl, Diana’s daughter, fell to the floor with her arms outstretched in front of her.

“Eli, why are you here?”

Eli Ordia flinched at Balkan’s words.

She pressed her wide-brimmed wizard’s hat down tightly to hide her face.

“⋯⋯”

Her long elven ears twitched in embarrassment and poked at the brim of her hat.

She was maddeningly ashamed.