I Am The Dying Emperor’s Doctor

“Of course, this book is written for those dull-witted people. Sometimes, you have to spoon-feed the foolish ones.” (At this point, Serena almost threw the book away again.)

Generally, those who cannot use magic have blurry memories of their awakening.

On the contrary, those with strong memories of their awakening possess powerful magic.

In other words, the clearer the memory of the awakening, the stronger the magician. Conversely, without such memories, one is merely a pseudo-magician.

So, if you want to use magic, you need to find those memories. Isn’t that simple?

Now, many people might wonder how to find these memories.

To conclude, if there are no memories, that person has no hope.

The only way is to hope for a miracle where you suddenly figure out how to use magic.

Don’t waste your time; just accept your limitations and live an ordinary life.

The book ended with these words. Serena flipped through the remaining pages several times, but there was nothing more.

“……”

Serena was speechless. She felt sorry for the librarian, but if the author were alive, she might have confronted them.

The thick book was half full of content that mocked her, a quarter of what she already knew, and only a small part that was somewhat helpful.

“……So, it’s just constant criticism until the end!”

Serena was about to throw the book but sighed and gently put it down.

Books should be handled with care, no matter how frustrating they are.

“Haa.”

Serena held her head in frustration.

The book’s main points were simple. All awakened individuals can use magic.

However, if their awakening memory is unclear, they might struggle to use magic.

If an unskilled magician wants to use magic, they need to recover and strengthen their awakening memory.

And the only way to regain those memories is to pray for a miracle, suggesting it’s best to give up.

“Is this what you call a solution?”

Serena groaned, rubbing her head. All she got was confirmation that she couldn’t use magic because she lacked those awakening memories.

“I need to find my memories…”

Serena’s mind was a mess. Just thinking deeply about the past wouldn’t make her remember.

She recalled a strange dream she had recently. At first, she dismissed it as just a dream, but thinking about it more, it seemed odd.

Serena tried to recall the vague dream.

A boy she had never seen before and a woman leading knights in white armor. In the middle of a burning place, she smelled smoke mixed with the stench of blood.

Unfortunately, the boy’s face was shrouded in fog. She tried to remember it several times but always failed.

Dreams are fragments of the subconscious, they said. It felt too real to dismiss as just a dream, so Serena wondered if it might be connected to her awakening memories.

It might be an overreach, but ignoring it wasn’t in her nature. After pondering for a while, Serena made a decision and stood up.

‘First, let’s ask Aunt Eldah about it.’

As a child, Serena spent more time at Kenjo and Eldah’s pharmacy than at the Viscount Manor. Eldah might remember Serena’s early years.

If the dream was a fragment of a lost memory, Eldah might know something.

‘And that emblem on the white armor, it feels familiar.’

But it was only familiar and she couldn’t recall the exact family.

‘First, let’s think slowly. Now, I need permission to go out!’

Determined, Serena headed to Azeid’s study to get permission for her outing.

* * *

Azeid was staring blankly out the window, silent. His loose attire fluttered gently in the breeze, giving off a delicate impression.

His golden hair fluttered wildly, but Azeid seemed too distracted to fix it.

He looked lost, but his atmosphere was cold and tense, as if he would react sharply if touched.

Everyone knew that around this time, the emperor’s mood would worsen. It was soon his mother Medeia’s death anniversary.

Azeid’s mother died under mysterious circumstances just as he ascended the throne.

Medeia’s death left a painful scar on Azeid.

To him, his mother was like a large stone causing ripples in his heart’s calm lake. She could always scratch and shake his heart.

Azeid knew it was a weakness, but he couldn’t easily hide it.

At the time of his beloved mother’s death, his reaction was almost explosive, exposing his vulnerability.

‘I thought he was getting better…’

Leonard sighed inwardly as he watched Azeid’s sullen state.

Since Serena joined the palace, Azeid had brightened. Leonard hoped this year would pass without issue, but he was overly optimistic.

“Your Majesty.”

“……”

Azeid didn’t respond, staring blankly at one spot. Leonard tried to bring up a topic that might catch his interest.

“Will you visit the place again this year?”

“I should.”

“You don’t have to anymore. Lady Medeia wouldn’t want to see you so down.”

“Well, Mother would understand my feelings.”

Azeid sighed, pulling his gaze from the window.

“If not, her son wouldn’t be able to bear the guilt.”

“It was just an accident.”

“Do you truly believe that, Leonard?”

“……”

“Mother seemed to know something was going to happen that day. Her touch was trembling more than usual.”

Azeid recalled the night before his mother’s death, rubbing his face as if washing away the memory.

The palace was quiet the day before the tragedy. Especially the annex where Azeid and Medeia stayed was just as calm as usual.

No one expected Azeid to become emperor the next day. The servants treated them like fallen leaves, indifferent.

It rained lightly that evening. Medeia prayed to the god of fate, Perianus, until late at night. When Azeid visited her room, she spoke as if giving a final request.

‘Azeid, no matter what happens, stay strong. Even if I’m gone.’

‘Why do you say that, Mother? Are you going somewhere?’

Medeia softly stroked Azeid’s hair, murmuring something unclear.

‘I just want you to be happy. Someday you’ll understand his will.’

‘Are you worried about another divine message?’

‘Yes. Perianus is the only one who troubles me. So Azeid, keep your sorrow short and your happiness long. Especially when happiness comes, welcome it with all your strength.’

Medeia was a devout follower of Perianus. The god of fate seemed to have foretold something to her early on.

Since the prophecy was bound by divine will, Azeid never asked about it.

‘If only I had asked.’

If he had known he couldn’t ask her the next day, he wouldn’t have ended the night’s visit so ordinarily.

“Even if Lady Medeia foresaw her death, she couldn’t have gone against a divine prophecy. That’s why she hid it. It wasn’t Your Majesty’s fault.”

“Divine will, huh.”

Azeid found Leonard’s words uncomforting. He felt it would have been better if the god hadn’t revealed her death at all.

On his mother’s anniversary, Azeid always spent a quiet day at the temple of Perianus, remembering her words about understanding the god’s will someday.

Everyone knew not to disturb the emperor on that day, including Leonard.

“I wonder what that god foretold to my mother.”

“……”

“How devoted must I be for him to tell me?”

Azeid murmured bitterly, looking out the window again. Leonard sighed deeply and left the study, thinking it was best not to disturb him further.

* * *

As Serena was about to enter the study, she ran into Leonard.

“Ah, Lady Serena.”

Leonard approached her with a more welcoming expression than usual.

“Hello, Lord Leonard?”

“Are you here to see His Majesty?”

“Yes. I need to ask for permission.”

Serena responded straightforwardly, and Leonard hesitated before speaking again.

“Lord Leonard, do you have something to say to me?”