I am Smart

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“Every experiment has a cost. If the cost is 30,000 won and a bit of time, then it’s relatively cheap.”

With that thought, Moon Si-hyun felt satisfied with her rational judgment.

She concluded that the morning’s troubles were indeed due to feeling off.

……

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, yes.”

“I’m sorry. You were zoning out for a while…”

Moon Si-hyun looked at Lee Seo-ah.

Only then did she realize that she had been holding a doll to her chest and quickly pulled it away.

She noticed Lee Seo-ah was trying hard to suppress a smile as he looked at her.

Not liking that, she said, “I don’t really like that doll.”

Lee Seo-ah avoided her gaze and replied, “Yeah.”

“I’m serious.”

“Oh, yes.”

“……”

The boy spoke, but his expression was subtle enough that you’d have to concentrate to catch it.

There was definitely a hint of mockery mixed in.

Moon Si-hyun didn’t like that at all.

She strode up to the boy, quickly closing the distance between them.

“Uh? Uh?”

The boy kept backing away until he eventually bumped into the wall.

Before they knew it, their breaths were close enough to feel.

“Ah, um…! Um…!?”

Lee Seo-ah’s gaze was darting everywhere, but wherever he looked, he saw Moon Si-hyun’s face.

In that state, Moon Si-hyun spoke clearly.

“Really. It’s true. I just asked to hold it. I was curious and wanted to touch it.”

Lee Seo-ah caught a minty scent from her breath.

He instinctively held his breath, and his pupils shook wildly.

Soon, the face of the teenage boy changed color rapidly before Moon Si-hyun’s eyes.

“Ah, I got it! I understand! Uh! The distance…!”

Only then did Moon Si-hyun, satisfied, take a step back, and the boy looked at her, breathing heavily with a flustered expression.

Once again, the mind of the teenager was racing at high speed.

However, Moon Si-hyun’s attention remained fixated on the doll she still held.

After a considerable amount of time passed, Moon Si-hyun extended the doll she was clutching.

“I’ll buy just this one. For an experiment.”

Just in case he didn’t know, she made sure to emphasize her motive.

The boy looked back and forth between Moon Si-hyun and the doll.

“…… You really like that doll, or rather, are you interested in it?”

Moon Si-hyun nodded.

“……”

Lee Seo-ah paused for a moment, resting his chin on his hand to think.

“Please wait a moment.”

He said, opening the door at the corner and stepping inside.

After a little while, he came back struggling with something.

“…… Uh?”

Moon Si-hyun almost dropped the doll she was holding.

Lee Seo-ah was carrying a doll that was more than twice his height.

It was identical in design to the one she was currently holding.

The plush brown fur, the shiny eyes. The design seemed intentionally made to eliminate any unpleasantness of a real bear or a virtual one, capturing only the best aspects of both.

“…… Ugh.”

Moon Si-hyun instinctively covered her mouth.

Her lips had involuntarily curled upwards.

Just like when she had that sweet hot chocolate at the cafe a little while ago.

When she savored the hot chocolate, a smile had bloomed unconsciously.

Moon Si-hyun clearly recalled what emotions she had felt then.

She shook her head.

“I can’t like dolls or anything.”

…… But still.

It was a doll of a size she had never seen before. The idealized unreal had approached her reality. So, she couldn’t take her eyes off it.

The more she gazed at the doll, neurological sparks exploded in her mind.

She wanted to quickly suppress her smile. But it felt nearly impossible.

She couldn’t help but cover her mouth again as she asked, “Uh, I was just asking. How much is that doll?”

“This one is 300,000 won. Ah, I’m not saying you should buy it, but I completed it last night, and as you see, it’s identical in design to the one you’re holding. I thought you looked like you really liked—no, no, were interested in it, so I brought it to show you.”

The boy then added that the size was standard, but also with a premium attached for the workshop’s exclusive design. Therefore, it took longer to make and there was high demand, which justified the price.

But that additional info didn’t reach Moon Si-hyun’s ears at all.

She was feeling like all her senses were honed onto the doll before her.

Again, dozens of thoughts began racing in her mind.

“The more you invest in an experiment, the better the quality of the results.”

300,000 won was indeed a bit heavy to invest personally.

But.

Moon Si-hyun began rationalizing—it wasn’t really so much money after all.

“Changing my gender isn’t something I can just take lightly. Investing 300,000 won in something like that is perhaps a reasonable investment?”

…… Something along those lines.

“There’s a chance that with my gender changing, certain inclinations might change as well. It’s really hard to tell.”

In every field, attaching the word ‘absolute’ usually results in an error.

Thinking this way, Moon Si-hyun nodded with satisfaction once again.

And so, in her mind, 300,000 won became an essential expense for the experiment.

Moon Si-hyun felt a slight sense of omnipotence wash over her. The fog that had been clouding her thoughts lifted.

At this moment, she believed that her reasoning and judgment based on it were perfectly rational. Therefore, she decided to open her wallet. For the sake of her experiment, she would need to be as close as possible for as long as she could.

“I’ll buy it.”

“Then I’ll go back in to put it away—huh?”

Their voices overlapped.

Lee Seo-ah turned around, looking at Moon Si-hyun with a puzzled expression.

It was as if he was saying, “You said you weren’t interested, but now you’re buying this?”

“……”

Moon Si-hyun’s expression began to harden.

Just before that, Lee Seo-ah spoke hurriedly.

“Oh, yes, yes! Buying a larger one isn’t a bad idea, right?!”

“Yes.”

Only then did Moon Si-hyun’s expression finally relax.

“That’ll be 300,000 won. Please sign here. Yes.”

Lee Seo-ah offered the small doll that Moon Si-hyun had been holding as a complimentary gift.

During the transaction, even while signing on the tablet, Moon Si-hyun’s gaze was fixated on the doll.

“Your transaction is complete. Thank you.”

Lee Seo-ah said as he returned the card.

Moon Si-hyun turned her head. On the adjacent table were two dolls.

At that moment, she felt it deeply.

The realization that two dolls were now hers.

Silently, Moon Si-hyun approached the dolls.

She poked and prodded their cheeks. Touched them, and then stroked them with her bare hands.

“……”

And then, for the next act.

She hugged them tightly.

“…… Hmph.”

As she hugged, a sound reminiscent of deflating air could be heard.

It was a very faint sound, but it was audible to Lee Seo-ah, who was nearby.

Moon Si-hyun buried her face into the doll’s chest and wrapped her arms around it even tighter.

Lee Seo-ah watched her in a daze before saying, “It might be heavy to carry, shall I ship it for you?”

“No, I’ll carry it like this… gotta save money.”

Moon Si-hyun added an unnecessary comment at the end.

Lee Seo-ah had decided not to mention that shipping was free for orders over 30,000 won.

“Yes. Then I’ll wrap it in plastic.”

“…… Environmental pollution.”

Moon Si-hyun tightened the arms around the doll while saying this.

Lee Seo-ah smiled as he watched her.

“You’re clever, but also very considerate.”

“Smart… Yes. That’s right.”

Lee Seo-ah noticed how Moon Si-hyun’s expression brightened. Maybe she likes compliments.

He had grown accustomed to her peculiar expressions.

He seemed to have caught on to how to handle her.

Lee Seo-ah, while saying to call him if the doll ever needed repairs, naturally handed her a business card.

This was something he always did for his first customer, but this time it was the greatest act of courage in Lee Seo-ah’s life. Moon Si-hyun slipped it into her wallet. Internally, Lee Seo-ah was screaming with joy.

Moon Si-hyun walked toward the front door while holding the doll. She swayed a bit as she walked.

Lee Seo-ah found it slightly worrisome, but since her home was right in front, he just opened the door for her.

And she left just like that.

Staring blankly at the doorway she had just exited.

Realizing belatedly what kind of experience she had just gone through.

A woman she felt fond of had liked the doll she made.

It was the moment she felt the most fulfillment in her work.

And after that day, Lee Seo-ah’s ideal type had slightly changed.

A pure woman who likes his dolls.

After walking for a bit, she arrived right in front of her house. It felt a little heavy at first, but she got used to it.

Though many eyes were on her, it didn’t bother her. After all, this was just a part of her experiment.

“Wow! That’s a super big doll!”

However, a childish voice called out from the front.

She couldn’t see below because of the doll, so she turned around and saw a girl, close to half of her height, with her mother.

The girl, looking about 7 years old, was dressed like a princess, holding a doll tightly in her arms just like Moon Si-hyun.

That sight suddenly made Moon Si-hyun’s face feel hot.

She hurriedly tried to enter her house.

“Where are you going!”

But the girl blocked her path.

“……!”

Her mind stopped. What to do at a time like this?

Kids really are tough to handle, and she disliked that.

“Soyeon, don’t do that to a stranger! I’m sorry…”

Her mother, startled, intervened.

The girl then stepped aside and started circling around Moon Si-hyun.

“Sister, sister, did you buy these?”

“…… Yeah. For an experiment.”

“Experiment? What’s that? But where did you buy them?”

“Over there.”

“Mommy, Mommy! Let’s go there later! Okay?”

Then, smiling and acknowledging her request, the mother followed her daughter as she turned back to Moon Si-hyun.

“But sister, do these have names?”

“N-names? I haven’t thought about that.”

Names for the dolls? That was something she hadn’t considered.

“What!?”

The girl’s astonished expression widened, then a big smile broke out.

“Then can I name them!”

“U-uhm…”

It was hard to keep up with the girl’s tempo. Moon Si-hyun barely managed to respond.

After a moment of thought, the girl pointed at the smaller doll.

“For now, the little one is Bear! This one will be Bear!”

She seemed satisfied as she turned around, tugging her mother towards the doll workshop while continuing, “The big one is for you to name! Dolls want names too! Okay! I’m leaving now!”

Moon Si-hyun stared blankly as they left.

Bear.

She looked down at the small doll that now had a name.

Then she turned her gaze to the larger doll.

“……”

If the small one is Bear…

“Bear Bear?”

The name slipped out of her mouth as she mulled it over.

Bear and Bear Bear.

“……”

Her lips twitched again.

This time, with no hands to hide it, she had no choice but to bury her face into the doll.