I Am Raising a Daughter in This Life



I will not give you affection

I am cursed.

yes, this is definitely a curse

“Aye… … ! Mmm… … !”

If I could live eternal life, or if I could repeat my life, or if I had the ability to do so.

Everyone has thought about this at least once in their life.

If something like this really happened to you, what would you do if you knew it?

The details may be different, but the big stem will be the same for everyone.

It means doing all the things you want to do.

Regardless of time, if you go back to the past even if you make a mistake, it would be natural to try recklessly.

“Crukreuk… … ! sniff… … !”

That’s because infinite life literally has infinite possibilities.

But in the end, if there is no end to that life.

If you don’t see the goal of this life at all.

If everything except yourself goes away and only emptiness remains.

It ended up… … It is right to call it a curse.

That’s the situation I’m in right now.

17 years.

After 17 years, no matter what I do, who I meet, or what it is, I come back to this point.

Even if you die along the way, even if you don’t die.

“Aye… … ! Mmm… … !”

“Khurr… … !”

growl… … !

To this place where you can hear the cries of babies, the cries of monsters, and the cries of beggars in your stomach.

Is it a sight that I have already seen dozens or hundreds of times?

boring.

It was a sign that another meaningless life had begun.

How old was I at this time?

Yeah, I was probably 14.

Not too old, but not too young.

That’s why I had no choice but to struggle just to survive in my first life and a few times thereafter.

Currently visible around… … After all, there were only ghastly corpses and miserable ruins.

It was a sight that would make an ordinary person lose their senses without even frowning, but since I had seen it countless times, I was not very impressed.

“Aye… … ! Mmm… … !”

Meanwhile, the child’s cry continued to be heard.

Along with the funny noises that come from inside the ship.

Let’s see. I wish I was near here.

I went into a nearby collapsed house, cleared some of the rubble, and took a piece of bread from a basket there and put it in my mouth.

It’s dusty and a bit on the hard side, but this was the only thing around here that could fill my stomach.

As I ate the bread little by little, I thought quietly with the sound of the baby crying.

From now on… … What should I do?

In the repeated life, it always started with getting out of this place as the top priority.

The city destroyed by the monsters’ large-scale attack was a place where there was no hope, and I was trembling in fear because I did not know when I would die from the monsters.

Of course, I had memorized the perfect escape route now, so getting out with the necessities wasn’t a chore.

but… … .

“What’s the use of all that?”

What I was thinking about came out.

That’s how I felt that I had really reached my limit.

I’ve done everything I wanted to do, and I’ve done enough to get tired of learning something.

But in the end, after 17 years or when you die, everything you built up will be nothing… … Unconditionally return to now.

No matter how much knowledge and experience he accumulated, it was meaningless if all he could accomplish with it was a sandcastle.

Why am I the only one experiencing this?

Indeed, I have asked myself countless times, people who claim to be wise, and even people who are not human, but I have not seen any answers.

At one time I believed the Prophet’s words that I had been chosen from heaven, but in the end it became clear that this was just a curse.

So now I… … What should I do?

“Aye… … ! uhhhhh… … !”

The baby’s cry had been heard again, now a little quieter.

No, wait.

I thought about it a few times while repeating countless lives, but a question that had not been clearly answered came to mind.

Why do I have to come back to ‘now’?

I have visited this place several times to solve the question, but I have not been able to find the answer.

But if coming back to this point is because there is something here right now that can cut my life from repeating… … .

“Yes… … . crying… … !”

Could it be that baby?

As soon as I had that thought, I moved towards the place where I heard the crying.

I had known about that baby from an early age, but had never tried to see its face.

In the early days, it was difficult to even survive on my own, so I didn’t have the energy to care.

Even after a while, it was not easy to rescue the baby at this point, so I deliberately avoided it.

After that, I continued to gain experience, but I didn’t get involved with that baby at all.

It is because there was a fact that I realized in my life that goes back endlessly.

More than anything else… … It means that losing a relationship with a person is the saddest thing.

Even if he took that baby now, it was clear that it would be nothing in his next life.

That is why, in many lives, I have never had children.

I also had a burning love, but through that love, I decided that I should not have children.

If you lose your presence in the world because of the life you went back to… … Just thinking about such a terrible idea made me feel like throwing up.

But for now, wouldn’t it be okay to just check that baby’s face?

“Huh… … . Awesome… … .”

The baby’s cries were almost drowning.

The figure of the baby finally found was clearly revealing its existence even in these ruins.

Through the hemispherical shield surrounding the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes.

The barrier that perfectly protected the baby even in this uproar was protecting the baby with several pieces of rubble on it.

There were also several corpses of fallen monsters nearby.

… … With a monster holding on to the shield, glaring at the baby and smacking his lips with a long tongue.

“Kreur… … !”

I carefully hid myself behind a building at the sound he let out lightly.

The name of the giant lizard-like creature that walks on two legs is Rebek.

It was a fairly high-risk monster because it attacked people with superior physical abilities and even formed groups.

Of course, it was absurd to deal with him with such a pathetic body.

“Kyahak! Curry!”

The one holding the shield opened his mouth and tried to chew it to break it.

A terrifying sound resounded, completely overshadowing the baby’s feeble cries.

Although the barrier protecting the baby was faithfully performing its function, it seemed obvious that it would break sooner or later.

As I watched the scene… … .

“Kreuk?”

Without hesitation, I confidently stepped forward and faced him.

Perhaps he was taken aback by the sudden situation, but he opened his mouth from the shield and looked at me with strange eyes, and was soon dominated by instinct.

It was natural for them to choose large, easy-to-eat food instead of small, difficult-to-eat food.

It let out a small cry as if it were mocking, and then stretched out its sharp clawed forepaws straight toward me.

cooong!

But his attack just hit the ground.

Unfazed, he stretched out his other paw again, and I avoided it with minimal movement.

For me, who literally got tired of being chased by and killed by the Rebecs, rebelled, and hunted countless times after that… … It was very clear what kind of move he would make.

Avoid, avoid, induce, and avoid again.

I moved as if I was working on a job I was familiar with and teased him, but I couldn’t do it for very long.

With this untrained body, just moving like this already made me breathless.

“Karreuk?”

So at this point, with a little movement, I got out of his sight.

Rebek senses heat to identify prey, so sight, hearing, and smell are a little behind.

That’s why it was easy to bully them if they kept their distance and hid under the rubble of a building to confuse their vision.

In addition, while avoiding the attack, he kept sneaking back and was already far away from his original position.

In the end, he had no choice but to take out his anger by destroying the poor buildings.

“Whoa… … . Whoa… … .”

I ran a little and caught my breath and arrived at the place where the baby was again.

The defenses with cracks here and there looked like they would break at any moment.

When I carefully approached and put my hand on the shield, I finally saw the crying baby as the shield dissipated as if I had waited.

There was a very small, so fragile being there.

He managed to make such a loud cry with a body like this.

Even the cries had stopped now.

“… … .”

I looked around to see if there was anything else, but my gaze suddenly stopped at one place.

somewhere not too far away.

A white hand emerged from the piled up rubble of buildings.

Judging by the location… … I thought maybe it was the child’s mother.

Even in that situation, he managed to open a barrier… … .

After coldly analyzing the situation, I looked away again, approached the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes, and carefully held it in my arms.

I thought it was a really small life.

But it didn’t mean much to me.

Then, suddenly, I found a shiny object stuck in the cloth.

It was a silver pendant in the form of a pocket.

When I held it in my hand and manipulated the button to open it, a picture appeared.

A charming beauty with outstanding silver hair was sitting at an angle, smiling softly at me, and the baby’s downy hair also had a hint of silver.

And on the inside of the lid opposite to the picture, there were some letters written.

my dear daughter

“… … Rize.”

After saying the name and confirming his birthday, he closed the pendant and tucked it inside the swaddling bag.

As I think, is this child really the key to ending the return of life?

That was all I was interested in right now.

“Ooooh… … !”

The monster’s cries coming from afar seemed to ridicule them for doing useless things.

But how many of the things you’ve done so far aren’t useless?

wait for a sec. is it him?

A sudden thought occurred to me, and I unwrapped the baby’s swaddling cloth and quickly inspected the white body.

“ha ha ha… … !”

The moment I confirmed that I was right, I almost burst into laughter without realizing it.

My eyes were fixed on the mysterious pattern on the child’s back.

Right away, a pattern in the form of a wing that appears on a hero.

Now it’s treated as an old story, but only I know it’s true.

The hero of the light who saves people, saves the world, and defeats the darkness of the world.

If you make this kid a hero and save the world.

If you defeat that damn ‘dark lord’.

Then I will surely be able to see the end of this endless life.

I was pretty sure this was the answer I was missing.

Yes, in the end, it was a story that I had to raise this child.

But it was only for my life, not because I had any feelings for this child.

So never… … .

“Jeong will not give.”

* * *

9 years later.

“Hey, you f*cking bastards!”

Kwajik!

He slashed the last Rebek’s throat with one stroke and brushed off the blood on his sword.

Then he turned his head and glared at the new chicks who had sent out a rescue signal.

“Hey… … !”

At first glance, the four-member team, who seemed inexperienced, showed signs of all sorts of hardships, but it was none of my business.

You made me get caught up in my busy schedule, so it’s okay to vent my anger a little bit.

“You know you have to check the request twice or three times and do a thorough preliminary investigation, don’t you know?!”

“I-I didn’t expect it to be that number… … .”

One who seemed to be the leader summoned courage and spoke in a crawling voice.

As he said, there were Rebek’s corpses piled up like a mountain behind me, and it was definitely a number that they could consider an anomaly.

But again, I’ve been busy.

“I am now!”

No matter how much the mercenaries acknowledge each other, humane morality, or anything else, I have to say this.

“I’m busy because I have to go see Rize, the cutest girl in the world!”