I am Peter Parker

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***

**Penny**

Well, the day has come!

My date with Glenn, who I knew had a soft spot for me.

My second date of my life. And it wasn't with my brother either. When would this vicious cycle end? Will I find myself back, or is pure, innocent Penny gone forever?! And the most important question of all:

- Why do I feel deja vu...?

....

- Hi. - said hello to my brother's best friend without enthusiasm.

- Hi. - he replied without enthusiasm as he sat down at the table.

We let out heavy sighs and started flipping through the menu. It's funny that before my brother warned me that Glen was a womaniser, and now he's trying to set me up with him.... I guess he's trying to show his superiority over the rest of us again, such a tsundere.

- So how are you doing at school? - Glen turned to me with a strained, brightened face.

- Not bad. Made a lot of new friends recently..... - along with the hassle of making sure they don't fail their exams.

- That's good.

- Yeah.

...So we talked.

Then we ordered, waited, ate, all in complete silence. Apparently, my brother was wrong, and Glen is really not very good at dating... Or he's waiting for me to woo him. Then screw him, I've got a brother who's 99.9 per cent mine.

- Huh? Unfamiliar number. - The silence was interrupted by a ringing phone. - Shall I answer it?

With a concerned nod, I picked up the phone, and a velvety voice came from the back:

- Hello Penny, it's Sang-hyun, calling to see how your date is going?

Is he that guy? Is he totally into me?! What else but jealousy can explain his call?!

- Can you put it on speakerphone, I want to say hello to Glenn. - not being prepared for this turn of events, I did as he asked. - Hey, best friend.

- You! - Glen said through gritted teeth. There's no way he's... Jealous of me, too?!

Oh, Penny, how many more men are you going to get your head wrapped around before the one you're meant to be with accepts his true feelings and opens his heart to you?! How full of tragedy is the path of love to tsundere.....

- Forgetting the little things along the way, I'd like to know when we can go on a second date.

- Who are you calling a little thing! - Glen was outraged, and all I could do was sit with my mouth open, for this was the first time in my life that it wasn't me who was called petty.... It's a strange feeling. Uncomfortable.

- Haa. It's not me you should be paying attention to, best mate, it's the beauty opposite. At least that's what I'd do if I were you. - Glen sat flushed with anger as I began to feel more and more need to call my brother names. My little brother may be weird, but those two are much bigger weirdos! - Oh, sorry, my sisters are here, I'll call you later, okay?

- Yeah. - it just came out of me.

- Ugghhhhhh! He's pissing me off! - Glen took a whole glass of juice in one gulp.

- What did Peter see that playboy as good?!

I'm not gonna say anything about my brother calling Glen a playboy. By the way, his voice rises when he's angry, and it's starting to remind me of the voice of--

- Wait! I wasn't planning on revealing that plot twist now! - Did he mention the sisters? Does that mean their date with Peter is tonight...?

- ...Whose date with the brother?

Next we decided to move our date with Glenn to Plaza Place, an expensive restaurant-hotel..... which coincidentally is now home to the brother, Long-Not-Lived and his sisters...

**Plaza Place. Peter**

I didn't have anything to wear for such a luxurious place. So I limited myself to an ordinary shirt, grey waistcoat, and some trousers and shoes... Anyway, at the entrance they checked my name three times and then gave me a haughty look before escorting me to my table.

Seeing the prices made me want to scream. For a moment I thought I was holding a car catalogue from a car dealership instead of a menu with food.

This stress made me want to order water, to which the waiter pointed to a page on the menu with deliberate disdain. On the page were drinks, including five types of water due to the prices of which.... I realised the extent of the fresh water crisis on our planet.

- Is breathing free? - who knows, maybe I owe this restaurant twice as much as I owe my boss.

.....

After spending half an hour collecting origami from napkins, two girls entered the restaurant and stole everyone's attention. They were two beautiful, doll-like young ladies of East Asian appearance. The girl in the black evening gown with sapphires had brown hair with white strands, while the one in the purple dress with rubies had hair like snow. They were Sang-hyun's sisters. I hope the last girls I have to fail a date with.

.....

- We don't like you. - Well, that was easy. I didn't even have time to open my mouth, I guess the lessons from Captain America didn't go to waste.

- Sal-hee. - the girl with hair like clouds elbowed her sister. - Forgive her, but we really are going to marry big brother.

- And you don't care about the genetic mutation?

- Genetic what? - Ami-Ha tilted her head, questioning. Doesn't incest in this world carry consequences for future generations?

- You what... - While one of the sisters smiled uncomprehendingly, the other narrowed her gaze.

- Ami-ha, I'll step aside, please don't let him get bored before I return.

After saying an unexpectedly polite goodbye, Sel-Hi stepped back first to the maitre d' and then left the restaurant altogether.

- And so, how's my brother doing on the show?

.....

For fifteen minutes, we chatted with Ami-Ha, pretty well. Then Sel-Hee came back, tossed us both to get ready, and when her sister and I raised our eyebrows questioningly, she replied:

- I got a room, let's go!

- S-Sister! - Ami-Ha immediately blushed. And as soon as I tried to open my mouth, Sel-Hi immediately turned a determined look on me and said:

- You're your big brother's friend, right? And you promised him a date with us, right? And we don't consider a date that doesn't end in a hotel room a date!

- I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, not a prostitute. - Ami-Ha's face had already lost any colour other than red because of my words, and Sel-Ha was blushing.

- Enough bickering, let's go! - Sel-Hee abruptly grabbed my hand and dragged me behind her. For a girl, she was quite strong....

.....

As soon as I was pushed into the hotel room, Sel-Hee closed the door, to the uncomprehending looks of her sister over her red cheeks.

- Sel-Hee, what are you doing? - Turning her back to me, Ami-Ha turned to her sister.

- He knows. - Her answer, like her gaze, was cold.

- S-knows what...? - her tone made Ami-Ha's voice tremble.

- Our biggest secret.

- Does he know that we've known since sixth grade how to bypass parental controls on the internet?!

- No!

- Does he know we turned over Grandpa's ashes urn?!

- No!

- That we turned it over three times?!

- How can he know the details if he doesn't know the facts?! Think about it, what's our biggest secret of all?!

- Oh, really? Does he know what we are?

- Yes. He knows we're..

- Yaois.

- ...Mutants. - At almost the same time as Ami-Ha, Sel-Hee said. Who after a second turned to face her sister with a petrified face, in that they really were like twins, the expressions on their faces were identical.

- Just to be clear, I didn't know any of the above. - If they looked like stone statues before, I distinctly heard a crackling sound after my words.

.....

Five seconds later, the sisters locked themselves in the bathroom, discussing something heatedly. I wanted to turn on the TV out of decency, so I wouldn't overhear, but....

*♪ To watch the channel, enter your bank card number ♪

It feels like an elite lifestyle, elite not because of the great opportunities, but because of the prices of anything. I wonder how the water in that restaurant is different from the bottled water from the shop? Do they have their own spring under the building or something?

After slamming the door loudly, Sang-hyun's sisters came out to me. Both had red cheeks, and both were looking anywhere but at me.

- K-When you said genetic mutation, you meant we're mutants, right?...? - Sel-Hee asked with a timid attempt at aggression.

- No. I thought that consanguinity could lead to deformities or diseases.

- What!!! - In disbelief, Sel-Hee turned her eyes to me. - Where did you get this nonsense from, or are you also one of the flat earth believers?

Actually, I have no idea what shape the earth is in Marvel, especially in the eleventh universe.... It's supposed to be round, but my last idea was wrong.

- Okay. I'm sorry I misled you. - I apologised because there was nothing else to do.

- All right then... - While one of the sisters had more or less calmed down, the other one:

- Haaaa... Haaaa... - Gustily breathing and drooling.

- Ami-Ha, what's wrong with you?!

- Se-sis, oh no, now he's going to blackmail you and me, make us do this and that until our bodies become unable to live without his manhood...! Haaaa. Haaah.

- Omitting the fact that my sister is a total pervert, you can really blackmail us! - Sel-Hee fell to her knees in defeat.

- ...I wasn't planning on it. - and they're pretty quick to jump to conclusions, aren't they?

.....

After another half hour of being locked in the bathtub, the sisters came out to talk to me again with red faces. I had two hopes, that they would finally open the room door, and that they didn't jump to conclusions this time.

- All right! - Sal-Hee began furiously. - We agree, we'll take you as our husband, in exchange for your silence! But don't expect to have sex more than eight times a week!

- That's more than days...

- We'll provide for you and your family, and your harem too, but don't think we'll let you have more than four children, understand!

- I could put a casino advert in here and you wouldn't hear it, would you?

- We're not some easy-going, do-it-all, do-it-all fools, you know that. So if you marry us, you are forbidden to cheat and have a harem of more than thirty girls!

- Don't know where to find common sense? Look for it in Reid.

- That's it! - Sel-Hee finished with a puff of breath.

- So and-. What do you want from us? - Ami-Ha hesitated in her seat.

- A key card.

- Wh-what are you going to do with it! - Scared, but Sel-Hi still held out the card to me.

- Uwaaaah!..! I'm not ready for this kind of perversion yet...!.. Haaaa... Haaaa... - Ami-Ha covered her face with her hands, panting again.

I, on the other hand, took the map, got up from the couch, opened the door and went outside. I didn't want to think about what the hell had just happened, and in fact, I thought I should erase our meeting from my memory....

- EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?! - The sisters' exclamation echoed down the corridor. But I didn't care about him, because tomorrow was the flight out of the show.... How do these two facts fit together? Ask the Sang-hyun sisters, they'll find the connection.

**Before. At the entrance of Plaza Place**

- Let me in! Let me see my brother!

Glenn and Penny were held up at the entrance without being let in, so they have no idea what happened.

- Nothing will stand in the way of our love!

- Young lady, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna use the gas can!

- ...Life is pain.