I am Peter Parker

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***

Thanks to the fact that Wolverine had managed to catch the directional trail and the timely geographical analysis from the Shield operatives, the search area had been mapped out. All the same, its number was a hefty number of square kilometres, and that's taking into account that the specialists did not make a mistake in such a short time.

- We have dozens, almost hundreds of places to search. - said Thunderstorm.

- Good thing we're not alone. - The X-Men themselves have split into two squads, plus the Fantastic Four and the Avengers are searching separately. - Lancea, remember, don't lose your head.

- I won't, Scarlett, I remember our mission. - No matter how coldly Wolverine replied to her friend, the fire of a long-standing struggle still shone in the corners of her eyes.

- Why would she lose her head? - Gambit, who had just returned to school today, asked. - Oh, that's right, you saw his pickle, didn't you?

- А?! What's that about?! - Wolverine lost even his stern face in surprise as he opened his mouth and widened his eyes in bewilderment.

- Wasn't it love at first sight.... For a pickle? - Gambit, on the other hand, spread a wry smile, playing with the cards in her hands. - Still, it's the first and only one you've ever seen in person.

Laughing into her fist and raising her eyebrows waggishly, Remy took a fair share of pleasure in teasing her long-time, usually dourly unperturbed, companion.

- Okay. - but with a deep breath, Lancea regained her old coldness. - I don't have any feelings for Parker, except for a little guilt over what happened.

- Haa... You don't have to be so serious all the time. - Gambit said with lost interest.

- And yes...

- Hmm?

- You'll see one someday too, don't worry. - Wolverine smiled slightly this time. While Gambit lowered her playful eyebrows and pouted slightly.

However, in the end, that spark that could turn into a flame disappeared from Lancea's eyes.

**Peter. Captive?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, I've kissed another girl. On the good side, now I can definitely say I'm not gay, because kissing is stupidly pleasurable. On the bad side, my sexual harassment case is now a new precedent.

- Mm-hmm.

By the way, while I'm out there playing Dementor and sucking the soul out of her, I'm kind of embarrassed by the amount of fire that comes out of her palm and hits the ceiling.

- Mm-hmm!

Well, I don't think Magneto's base can catch fire, do you?

- Mhhhhh!..

А? Is it out?

- ...

And not just the flames! Hey, body stop, her eyes are rolling back!

- W-what happened?! - Sabretooth suddenly burst into the room. I wonder if Mystique and NEWT are behind her there, but why did they stay in the doorway? And where is their leader? - What did you do to her! Answer me!!!

I was abruptly yanked away from the latest victim of my harassment, causing her head to fall backwards with her eyes rolled upwards and tongue hanging out.

- Hmm? You got me to ahegao with just a kiss, and I'm good! - Yeah, sort of, maybe soon we can create a profile on a dating site with the caption "Interested in suicide, you haven't kissed me yet...". Otherwise your interest would have been satisfied.")

- That's it! I've had enough of your games. - the hairy one swung at me, but....

- The ceiling! - Mystique's shout stopped her, forcing her to look up at the full blaze overhead.

Unfortunately, due to the 'honesty' effect, I couldn't say it was like this before me. Well, it's a good thing I kept my mouth shut.

- The fire may burn bright on the ceiling, but it's no match for the fire in my heart, Kitten. - Haa, makes me want to roll my eyes.

- Stop with the flirting! It doesn't work on anyone!!! - Instead of rolling my eyes, I'm being shaken.

- But then why do I see a blush on your cheeks, Kitten? - I don't know, maybe she's angry, maybe she's hot, maybe she's got a cold. Okay, that last one's a bit of a stretch, I'm not the main character in a harem film to really think like that.

- They're not wearing anything! - Ugh, the way she's shaking my breasts is making me sick.

- Fire! - That's right, there's a fire literally a metre above us.

- A bloody trapper who thinks he's the centre of the earth just because he's got a sausage between his legs!!!! - Tell me the right thing! I've caused so much trouble for my future, adequate self because of this effect.

- Fire. - Mystique's voice has lost some of its confidence.

- You do and say whatever you want, without regard for other people's feelings, just to show off. - Do I really deserve a telling off like that? I mean, it's one thing with the out-of-breath one, but I didn't do anything that bad to that blonde.

- Well. There. Fire. - don't give up, Mystique, I believe in you!

.....

Eventually, Mystique's efforts paid off, and she was able to draw Sabretooth's attention to the fire...

- Awww... It's burning. - Well, either the flames got to her hair, shortening it a bit and scalping her scalp. One of the two.

- We've got to get out of here, cos the room above us is a fuel depot... - don't they usually have them at the bottom? Or was someone too lazy to go back and forth forever? - If the fire gets to it, there could be an explosion that could hit the main generator in the next room.... - was definitely lazy. - If it gets damaged we won't have enough time to get out of here with all the fire and smoke, diverting power to additional generators.

Thanks for the exposition Mystic, I wouldn't say this is the time for a long explanation, but it was quite entertaining to listen to.

- By the way, why is the rest room located under the fuel storage?

- No time for discussion! - ah, like spending half a minute or half a page on exposition can be done, but you can't answer a question quickly, then?

Sabretooth threw the body of the co-terrorist on her back, and we all rushed along the corridors. By the way, their tight suits looked much more comfortable than my thigh-high trousers.

- So, why is the break room under the vault? - Taking advantage of the fact that people could run and talk at the same time, which Sabretooth had apparently forgotten, roaring to drown out my interest earlier.

- Coincidence, I think... - Mystique answered uncertainly, at which I was slightly surprised.

- We have sixteen of them. - NEWT responded to my face.

...Don't tell me whoever was in charge of this base was lazy enough to build sixteen rest rooms!

.....

After running past eight rest rooms, we finally reached the heavy, load-bearing lift. As we climbed in and began the gradual upward movement, we were able to exhale. Or rather, they did, because a question popped into my head:

- Where are the others? - I asked about the other members of their cell.

- The others? - but they stared back at me with an incomprehensible expression. - This bunker is designed for five people, even the bedrooms are five.

- How? - with sixteen rest rooms?!

- Oh, if you mean Magneto, I'm sure she'll be fine, she's our leader! - Apparently, NEWT thinks being a leader makes you immune to explosions.

- ...No, seriously, have you even used that many rest rooms?

- Sure, what kind of question is that? - Mystique said with a raised eyebrow.

- Plants need to be watered! - NEWT pounded her chest with her fist.

- And the water in the coolers must be changed. - and Sabretooth scratched her head.

- ...And Magneto was not against this use of space? - There must be at least one reasonable person among the terrorists....

- No, she liked having her collection of magnets sorted by colour on different fridges, rather than mixed together on one. - ...and why does Mystique say that like it's the most obvious thing in the world?

*[Explosion]

Suddenly the lift shaft rumbled, the lift itself shook from side to side with tremendous force, and a pillar of fire was clearly visible beneath us.

*♪ Explosion ♪

The next thing we knew, a massive impact hit the floor, and literally gutted part of what we were standing on, where Sabretooth was standing.

- Ghaaaa!

At the last moment, before falling into the abyss, she threw Pyro's body in our direction. She herself flew straight into the abyss.

- Okay. The lift's still running and it's still moving. - Mystique spoke calmly, and only slightly more sternly than usual. - Hopefully, we'll be lucky to get up there before the next explosion.

- But how?

- We can't! - Mystique stared sternly at NEWT. Funny how they react to losing a mate, I guess even the bad guys get over it, huh? - If you're willing to jump into the fire, ten and something metres down, go ahead!

Yeah, only a complete idiot, or a complete moron, or a complete moron.

- What are you--?!

- Parker!

...It's Sabretooth's luck that I'm knocked out by the effects.

**At the same time. Sue.

Arriving at the search site, an old observatory, I couldn't stop being distracted by one thing.

- Hee~hee. - Not shutting up her ruddy face, the moron sister.

- What stupid idea do you have in mind now? - Finally unable to bear it, asked through gritted teeth.

- You're the dumb one, you dumb sister! - Firstly, why is she insulting me all of a sudden? And secondly, has she learnt to read minds?!

- COME ON, JOANNA, I CAN SEE ALL YOUR STUPID-COWARD SHENANIGANS FROM EAR TO EAR.

- You just called me stupid, didn't you?! Don't you dare hide it! - Pouting with such vigour that she even caught fire, Joanna waved her arms raised above her head and stamped her feet on the spot. What a shameful thing to do, you overgrown moron sister. It's even more embarrassing when you remember that we're identical twins.

- Boo, girls, stop hurting Joanna. - Riya's pouting and big sister expression followed, and she rushed to the rescue.

- Riya! - The one who looked like me threw herself on her neck, fading and tears in her eyes.

- Well, well, well. - I stroked her head. - What is it?

- The Golem and the one that looks like me are hurting me! - ...what the hell?

Did she get wise to the fact that we have the same jokes now, or did I lose my temper?

- ...and now. - while I was having an existential crisis, Joanna had apparently finished her retelling.

- Haa, shame on you. - sternly tossed to me from Bunny, Ria. - I'm sure whatever came into her head is great. - Because now there's something in there besides vacuum?

...It's not funny, and it's not witty. Am I the one who's getting dumber? My brain is losing its elasticity and--

- If Sue had said that, she'd have added something at the end like, "There'll be something besides air"; but that's not what you meant, so thanks, love you, Ria.

- SO WHAT WERE YOU UP IN THE CLOUDS ABOUT?

- Ha ha!!! The whole Peter kidnapping situation may be awful, but it gives me a chance!

- A chance?

- A chance for a new confession! Imagine how cool I'd look if I rescued him from the clutches of villains!

- WHAT'S DIFFERENT FROM LAST TIME?

- They weren't mutants! What do you think?

- ...

- YOUR IDIOCY NEVER CEASES TO AMUSE ME.

- I'm sorry, honey, but, um. That doesn't sound very clever in the context of last time and the reaction of.....

- RESPECTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

- Oh?

- WHAT?!

- Sis, why are you crying - they're calling my plan idiotic!

- WAAAAAAH! This is what I'm going to become, this is what my future holds. WOWAAAAAAAAAAAAA....