I am Peter Parker

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***

If I ever imagined myself in a situation where I had to walk through a public place in just my underwear, I think I'd try to hide and find something to wrap myself in as soon as possible. But hey, the self-confidence effect and I'm walking proudly through the very centre of the hostel, the doors from the rooms in which could open at any moment.

Isn't that weird? Thankfully, I'm a guy and it doesn't bother me much if I'm seen like this, but the realisation that I'm out of control is a bit of a blow to both my brain and my ego. It's one thing to do something stupid or provocative on purpose, but it's another when it comes out of your own free will.

- That's how you get your head screwed on. - of course, fate could not be kind to me. - Hello?!

- Hush, Kitten. - pinned the pink-haired elf against the wall. Given her anime look, remembered the kabedon or something?

- Kyahyaa?! - Red as a tomato, the girl was literally bouncing her eyes all over my body. It's a little embarrassing to be scrutinised like that.

- Can't hold back a scream of delight, huh? Let me help... - not again! - Mnh-mnh-mnh!

- Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh! - the third girl I've kissed in the last two days. Isn't that a bit much?

- There, that's better. See you, Kitten. - I couldn't leave without a wink, could I?

- ... - and why does she keep standing there silently like a statue? Only her wings were twitching like a beetle's.

I wonder if I'll go to jail for harassment. At least I have friends in prison.....

*****

- Hello?! Why did you bring me breakfast just now?!

- Sorry, rhino girl, we forgot about you a little bit, oops.

- Who's rhinoceros girl?!!

- Madoka?

- You forgot my name too?!!!

- No, no...

*closing the food slot*

- Hey, don't you dare forget about me, you hear?!!!

** Back to Parker **

- Mnh-mnh!

- Mmm. My sweet Kitty. - Here comes a new addition to the ranks of the harassment plaintiffs-- This time it's the short-cropped blonde I bumped into in the corridor.

- Wow. Um. I was gonna say, wow. - yeah, that makes a big difference.

- I know, Kitten, I'm a great kisser. - Haa. I sound like a Mainebrake virgin, embarrassed and disconnected from reality.

- Well. I won't argue.

- There you are! Professor Grey's been looking for you. - a brunette with pink, spiky hair came up to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me behind her.

- Haaaa... Haaaa... - As she walked away, turning my head, I noticed that the blonde had slammed into the wall, pressing her chest with her palm and breathing heavily, blushing.... Was she having a seizure?

.....

Somehow the brunette is squeezing my wrist pretty hard, no? Like I hurt her feelings.

- Look, um. - after a couple of dozen metres, she stopped. - I don't know what your motive is. But if you're just trying to play on Rogue's feelings, you're gonna make it worse.

- Threats, Cat--

- We all know you guys aren't interested in us. - It's weird, I mean, there's plenty of pretty girls here who should be interested in guys, and she's one of them. Apparently the realities of the world prevent them from either being a little more confident or actually having a relationship. Although it has nothing to do with me. - But we are also human beings, we also dream and fantasise about what it is like to come home after a hard day and cuddle up to a loved one, who without uttering words, just hugs, strokes your head and says that he loves you, that everything will be alright....

The brunette threw back her opposing gaze and instead averted it blushing, ruffling her hair in the process.

- Ughhh... Embarrassing... I should have said that.

- I don't think you're the one who should be embarrassed among the two of us. I'm standing here in my knickers in the middle of the hall.

- Ha-ha-ha-ha. - I laughed, relaxed. - Wh-What?! Since when?!

Did she just notice?

- Did you take off your clothes while I was telling you off?! Are you out of your mind?! - Oh, that look, like I'm some kind of pervert. I don't think that's gonna help my harassment case much, is it?

- Kitten, I--

- K-k-kitten?! - ouch, now my face is red and my lips are trembling. - What did you call me?!

- Kitten-....

- How can you do that?! - I don't know what she's talking about, but I'm glad she can plug my body under effects with such regular frequency. - First you play on poor Rogue's feelings, and now you want to play on mine?!!!

- It's just, I--

- How many other girls do you want to break my heart?!

- Not just--

- Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie, isn't it? - Well, actually, I'm not sure anything intelligible came out of my mouth at first.

- It's not--

- Answer me! - So give me the word!

- So give me the word! - There was no such thing. It did not and could not happen that my thoughts coincided with the body under the effects.

- Why?! So that you could try to turn my head too. Mnh-mnh! - Haa, fifth, huh?

- Mmm! - I don't approve, but this time I understand.

- ... - thank god, shh- - HOW DARE YOU?!

She's taken it to the next level?! Now even my thoughts are interrupted.

- I'll show you why you shouldn't play on the feelings of mutants! - purple sparks started flying out of her hands, resembling fireworks.

For the second time, not being in solidarity at all, my body and I came to the same decision.... Get out of here!

- Stop! - leaving the sparks behind.

**Kitty Pryde**

After seeing Arnold off to the dining room, I, like the others, was sent to find Parker. Can't say I put my best foot forward....

- Oh, what's this? - I came across a strange paperback book on the shelf.

Okay, instead of looking for it I decided to spend a few minutes in the library. Nothing bad could happen to him in that place anyway, rather he'd make that trouble by remembering last night's kiss.

- I thought he was nice. - Leave men alone, Kitty, they're no substitute for books.

By the way the paper book turned out to be a collection of black and white comics. In the first one, a guy jumped out of nowhere at the girl, the main character, and their lips met.

- Hmm... - I can't say I love this kind of reading, but since I picked it up, why not finish it?

.....

In the second one, the high school girl, the main character, crashes into a guy on a bike and they meet lips.

.....

In the third, an office worker, running late for the metro, tripped on the steps and fell on a guy coming up. Fell with her lips on his lips.

.....

In the fourth, a space ranger fought against alien invaders. At the climax of the battle, she blew up their ship. A wave threw her from earth's orbit straight into the planet, and flying a great distance she flew into Loch Ness Lake, falling with her lips on the lips of a young fisherman...

...Yeah, this cliché is getting annoying.

- WHAT, LIKE THE LAST COMIC BOOK?! - I unconsciously burst out. When the realisation came, I shamefully put the book back down, looked around and walked out through the wall, using my ability to pass through objects.

.....

- Haa... - Pretend, don't pretend, but I wouldn't mind falling on some handsome guy with my lips either.

Though with my strength and reactions, I don't think such a scenario is basically possible. If it happens suddenly, and it can't happen otherwise, I'll get scared and my strength will work itself out, letting the handsome man's lips through.

- So I have to be the opposite of ready and calm, even concentrated.

Like now, for example, as I approach the wraparound hallway, completely calm. It's just a shame that in reality, handsome men don't come at you headlong-

- Oh! - Parker came round the corner out of nowhere. I was so caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't even have time to be scared.

- Ah! - I flew down with him as his lips landed on--

**Jubilee**

- Stop!!!

How dare he kiss me?! Steal my first kiss?! Who does he think he is to do this to us?!

- I SAID STOP!!!

Oh, that's a fast bastard. If our life was an RPG game, his speed would be at least a nine out of ten. I'm at least a seven on this stat.

Shit, while I'm thinking about all this nonsense, he's gone round the corner. So maybe he'll run somewhere and I'll miss him!

- Ah! - that's Kitty's voice, did he attack her too?! Bastard!

As I ran round the back of the corridor, I was confronted with a sight I could never have imagined.

- ... - I was speechless and cold.

- D-Jubilee, help! - wailed Kitty, while Parker.....

- Mm-hmm! - or rather his head was fidgeting under her skirt, stuck.

Yes... This guy is clearly not doing well at home.

**Peter**

As they say among us blatty boys, things are bad...

Yeah, I should learn a little slang before I go to a place not so far away, cos I've heard about what they do in the joint, and honestly, I think it has something to do with inexperienced inmates calling other inmates pa-..... Pa-- Daddies, is it? No wonder they get a libido trigger.

- Ready to die? - so I don't go to jail. Well, on the bright side.

Jubilee came right up to me with a sparkling hand and an expression that clearly hinted at more than a gentle sympathy. At the same time, Kitty was standing in the corner holding the hem of her skirt.

- Kitty... - yeah, why not make things worse. Though by this point, I don't mind, hell with you body, my soul has already achieved zen, as I mentioned not too long ago, though it feels like a week ago. - Let me tell you--

- Yes to--

- Oh, there you are! - unexpectedly, but this time Jubilee's interruptions of me were interrupted by another female voice.

The red-haired teacher ran towards us with a nervous look.

Following, abruptly stood in front of me, shielding me from the female students.

- And I've been looking for you, ha ha.... - she addressed me with her back turned.

- Nice view, Kitten. - while my body, exclusively it, stared at her arse.

- Teacher, he...

- Why are you sitting in your knickers, eh? You're about to start filming. - ignoring Jubilee, Gina picked me up by the arm and dragged me off somewhere. - And you girls aren't late, Miss Ripley has asked for your participation personally, OK?!

- But he... - this time, Jubilee didn't let me finish my sentence as we rounded the bend.

- Tell me everything's going to be all right and the truth won't come out? - The nervous teacher turned to me as cold sweat trickled down her forehead.

- Everything will be fine, Kitten, as soon as the camera sees my naked body, she will fall in love with it like any woman.

- Are we doomed? - ...Sort of.