I am Naruto but where is Kurama!?

In the last few days, I have come to terms with the fact that my life is now total bullshit. Aside from the terrible hospital food I was fed, I now had to play the part of saving the world as Sasuke saving the world out of the goodness of his heart is nothing but a bad joke. I am not like the original Naruto with his Talk no Jutsu as I am not an idealist or naive enough to sincerely believe the same things as the original Naruto.

Becoming the Hokage, no thanks. Especially if it involves dealing with ROOT and Danzo's bullshit and, of course, politics, earning the acknowledgment of every one of the Hidden Leaf? Ha, like I care about the opinions of others in the first place, more so the ignorant and powerless civilians. I would only save the world in the first because I live in it, and I can't think of anyone I could count on in that regard.

I got a chance to peek at my medical records and discovered that I am 6 years old, meaning the Uchiha Massacre has not happened yet, as that happened when Sasuke was around 7. Not that I am going to do anything about it, as I am just a kid, and I doubt anyone would take my words seriously, especially with no evidence. Aside from that, there is the Hyuuga Incident. Again, I can't do anything about that either.

However, after that, I hopefully won't have to worry about anything else until I graduate from the Ninja Academy. I need some paper and pencil or pen to write down everything I can remember about Naruto and Boruto, even the filler arcs and episodes, which are honestly too many to remember them all. Still, if there is the slightest chance they are real, I need to remember them no matter what.

The cluster fucks that are coming my way aside. I need to contact Kurama before anything else, as he would be my biggest ally and probably only friend in the years to come. I smiled at the thought of meeting the big tsundere furball as while. I am probably going to be scared at first because, well, he is a giant monstrous fox that won't hesitate to try and escape from his prison, which means I die if he does.

I have not managed to enter the Sealing space in my mind despite my efforts through meditation and trying to get as angry as possible. I can only assume the seal is still too tight for me to meet him just yet.

Another I decided was that I was not going to try and pretend like I was the original Naruto, as I could not keep a straight face while making an impression of him as it was too cringe and stupid on so many levels. I figure I might be able to pull off a personality change by pretending to have trauma from how I winded in the hospital in the first place. It would be easier than trying to be a sunny idiot like the original.

As I looked out the window of my room towards Konoha, I muttered to myself.

" So this is my life now."

I felt the pressure of how so much might now depend on me as I am in the body of the protagonist without any sort of idea of how I winded up in this situation in the first place. I shook my head to banish those thoughts as I still got time to be as strong as I possibly can be when shit hits the fan. I got out of bed to change into my clothes, a hideous orange shirt with blue shorts and typical blue shinobi sandals.

Yeah, getting some steel-toed and sole combat boots is on my to-do list, as I am not wearing this stupid sandal shit on missions. I mean, having my toes are fucking exposed in a combat situation just sounds dumb. My pragmatism fashion sense aside, the shinobi sandals don't seem to provide much support, and nor are they comfortable to me. After getting changed, I went to the front desk on the first floor to get discharged.

" Um, miss, can I apply for discharge, please?"

I asked the nurse there nicely, and she handed me some paperwork to fill out, which was basically my name, date of birth, and time spent in the hospital. As I left the entrance of the hospital, a question hit me immediately. Where the fuck am I supposed to go!? I had no idea where Naruto, or, rather, myself, currently live, but oddly, I knew exactly where Ichiraku Ramen was. I guess I did gain a few of Naruto's memories after all, even if it was just where his favorite restaurant is at.

I guess I will head there first and hope to meet the Third Hokage there, and I can use the amnesia card to explain away why I have forgotten where I live.

________________________________________

At the Hokage Residence.

The Third Hokage smoked as he went through the stacks of paperwork, and Dog reappeared in front of the desk. The old man did not shift his eyes from his paperwork as he ordered.

" Your report, Dog."

" Sloth... Well, he specialized in poison and..."

Dog was hesitant to continue, which made the Hokage stop going through his paperwork and stared at his ANBU while sternly urging him to continue with his true name.

" Kakashi."

" Yes, Lord Hokage. Sloth had the bright idea to store some of his poisons in his fridge, and it contaminated his food despite his precautions. If they can be called that."

The Third Hokage was dumbfounded at what he heard and asked for clarification.

" Kakashi, am I correct in assuming that Sloth...?"

" Yes, he poisoned himself... and there is no sign of foul play, just Sloth's carelessness."

Hiruzen then lit his smoke pipe and took a long drag as he tried to settle his nerves. After blowing out a ring of smoke, he asked for confirmation.

" So there is no room for doubt?"

" Yes, Lord Third."

The Third Hokage cursed quietly to himself.

" For the love of the the Sage."

Taking another long drag from his pipe, he released the smoke in his lungs and asked.

" Anything else to report, Dog?"

" Only that Naruto has been discharged from the hospital."

The Third Hokage then recalled his promise to the young blonde to treat him to Ichiraku Ramen. He smiled as he needed an excuse to get out of his office and get his mind off of work. Unfortunately, he had another visitor in the form of an old man covered in bandages with a cane supporting him. It was Danzo Shimura, the head of ANBU ROOT and elder to Konoha.

" What is Danzo?"

The Third Hokage got comfortable in his chair as he knew his old friend\teammate would not let him leave until he at least heard him out. Danzo scowled as he stated his business.

" Hiruzen, I understand that the Jinchūriki nearly died earlier this week because of your ANBU's negligence. If you had left him in my care, this would have never happened."

Unfortunately, Hiruzen did not have a leg to stand on in this case as his lackluster ANBU Sloth did died from accidentally self-poisoning himself. He took another puff from his pipe as he was not looking forward to this current argument, as despite his best efforts to keep the whole affair quiet, Danzo did find out regardless. The Third Hokage was truly too old for this song and dance, but the only other viable candidates for the seat were his students, who refused for one reason or another.

" Danzo, no one can shelter Naruto as he is the Jinchūriki, which means it would disrupt the balance of the village, which cannot happen now as the village is divided thanks to the dissatisfaction of the Uchiha Clan. It would further open us to probing actions from the other villages."

Danzo snorted with disdain and did not give up on having the Jinchūriki under his control.

" That is even more reason to have the Jinchūriki under my care, as I could raise him into a weapon to defend the village and destroy our enemies."

" The answer is still no, Danzo, and I am the Hokage, so I have the final say on the matter, and that is it. You are dismissed, Danzo."

Danzo frowned as he had no comeback for this but felt vindicated as Hiruzen only used his I am the Hokage argument when he had no other way to counter to his own. It is a small victory but a victory nonetheless. Danzo left feeling a bit satisfied at putting another crack in Hiruzen's foundation, which made him a bit closer to becoming Hokage.

The Third Hokage sighed as he massaged his temples and wanted nothing more than to relax. He forced himself up from his chair and went to keep his promise to Naruto.

________________________________________

I walked toward Ichiraku Ramen and, for the first time, felt the state of everyone in the village. The disgust, disdain, and hatred made me seriously wonder just how the original Naruto did not come to hate this village with every fiber of his being. It is just my first day, and I am already ready to wash my hands of this place and its people. The glares made my skin prickle, and I developed goosebumps all over my body.

" The demon fox is back."

" Why can't it just die already?"

" Evil thing."

I tuned out the whispers to focus on more important matters like remembering what I could of the first part of Naruto and the retconning filler arcs. Let's see here: aside from the Uchiha Massacre, there is the Forbidden Scroll Incident during graduation from the academy, and then there is meeting Kakashi and the rest of Team 7. Yeah, that won't be as fun as watching it behind a screen.

Mental note to self: get armored underwear to protect me from a 1000 Years of Death Taijutsu. I shudder as I did not want to be on the receiving end of Kakashi's invasive ass poke. After that, a bunch of D-Rank missions, then the Land of Waves mission followed the Chunin Exams\Konoha Crush Plan, then getting Tsunade as the Fifth Hokage and Sasuke going to Orochimaru. That covers the first part of the most important events.

" Demon Fox."

" Accursed monster."

" Murderer."

I rolled my eyes as they could run their mouths all they wanted as they were nothing but ignorant civilians akin to ants. Unless they actually try something, they are not worth my time and energy. I soon saw Ichiraku and walked up to it and saw that the Third Hokage was not here yet, but if he did not show, all that meant was that I could not rely on him if he couldn't even keep one little promise. I hope I don't wind up sleeping outside as I am very much an indoor person, or at least I was.

I greeted Teuchi, who had so many ridiculous fan theories and memes.

" Hey there, Boss."

" Oh, Naruto, welcome. I haven't seen you all week. What happened?"

I sat down as I explained myself.

" Got in an accident that had me in the hospital all week, but I got discharged today with a clean bill of health. The Hokage is going to treat me today to celebrate my recovery."

" Well, I am glad that you are alright, Naruto. How about having the first bowl on the house?"

I thanked him as I could smell the Ramen, which whet my appetite.

" Thanks, Boss. A Miso Ramen to start me off, please."

He gave me an odd look and asked.

" Are you sure you're alright, Naruto?"

" Well... I might have gotten my memories a bit jumbled up because I hit my head pretty hard, apparently. I am hoping the Hokage could help me in that regard."

I started to spread the rumors of my memory not being fully intact in order to start smoothing things over. Teuchi nodded in understanding and got to work. Seeing his daughter, I greeted her as well.

" Hey, there, Ayame. Long time no see."

One of my favorite fan theories is that Naruto might have winded up marrying Ayame if Hinata never made a move. After all, she was one of the few positive female interactions in the blonde knucklehead's life. She smiled and greeted me in turn.

" Hello, Naruto. I am glad to see you are alright."

I did not have to wait too long for my Ramen, and I was honestly excited to try real Ichiraku Ramen. I gulped as it already smelled amazing.

" One miso Ramen coming right up."

I then remembered that one thing to do before a meal.

" Thanks for the food."

I said thanks and tried the broth first. It it was good. I started to dig in, and the Ramen was definitely good, but pizza was still my favorite food from my past life. Another to add to my to-do list, recreate Pizza. I jokingly thought about starting my own pizza restaurant and found it a bit funny, especially because I would use Kurama as the mascot for it—Nine Tails Pizza, nine times the flavor. I snorted in amusement at the thought.

I savored my Ramen to give the Third Hokage more time to reach me. I did not have to wait long as the old man showed up after I was about half done with my bowl. I greeted him.

" Hey, old man, I started ahead without you."

" What, just one bowl?"

He asked with an amused look as he stroked his beard, and Teuchi greeted the Third Hokage with a bow.

" Lord Third."

" Don't mind me. I will have a seafood Ramen."

" Coming right up!"

Teuchi said with excitement and I asked as well, as I was nowhere near full.

" Another for me as well, please."

I saw the Hokage also give me a strange look and asked with concern.

" Are you alright, Naruto?"

" I got a clean bill of health from the hospital, old man, but I think some of my memories got tossed around in my head."

He narrowed his eyes for a moment before asking.

" Such as?"

" Well, do you know where I live?"

The look of shock on his face was funny, but unfortunately, this was no laughing matter as one wrong step could land me into a lot of hot water.