Chapter 10: Girl Troubles
" You will regret this, Hiruzen!"
Danzo shouted as he was outraged this time. The Third Hokage was stripping him of his Elder status and was also confiscating all his assets. Hiruzen sighed as he replied.
" I regret a lot of things, Danzo, allowing you to form ROOT, turning a blind eye to your actions, not taking Minato's place that night all those years ago when the Nine-Tails attacked the village, and letting you convince me to ostracize the Uchiha to the point of rebellion. However, I do not regret finally doing what I should have done a long time ago. Danzo, ROOT will be fully dismantled. This time, its members will be undergoing therapy and having their Curse Marks removed."
" Hiruzen, you can't do this after all I have done for the village!"
The Third Hokage sighed and told his old friend with a solemn expression.
" It is exactly for that reason that you will be placed under house arrest instead of prison or even being executed."
That forced Danzo to be silent with a look of unwillingness and rage. Part of him was tempted to attack the Third Hokage, but he suppressed that desire and venomous said.
" You are a fool and coward, Hiruzen."
" I won't deny that, Danzo. I should have forced Jiraiya or Tsunade to take up the mantle of Hokage instead of myself. Whoever is the next Hokage, I will at least pass it on to them with fewer headaches than I did with Minato. I will warn you, Danzo, if ROOT is not properly dismantled in due course, you will be transferred to prison."
The former Elder grits his teeth and replies with an ice-cold tone.
" Yes, Lord Third Hokage."
Hiruzen nods and turns to leave the Shimura compound. Danzo enters his private office and slams his fist against the table in fury, forcing himself to calm down and think about what to do next.
" Members of ROOT will now be heavily monitored and have their Curse Marks removed, but that is manageable as they are completely loyal to me, and Hiruzen does not know about all of my agents. My assets being taken is a minor problem, as well as I have several hidden assets in and outside the Land of Fire that I have firm control over. However, the loss of my Elder title means I am now in political exile, which ruins any chance of me becoming Hokage."
Danzo then took the time to make himself some tea to calm his nerves and focus. He continues his thoughts.
" I will have to make arrangements to force Hiruzen to give back my title as he is too soft and needs my expertise. Suna is undoubtedly eager to break its alliance with Konoha, so making them move is not complicated. Kumo is always trying to expand its military might, so having Konoha show a bit of weakness will be too tempting for them to pass up. Iwa might be tricky as they will, at most, send some probing battalions to test the waters and only press Konoha if they are certain or desperate.
Kiri is still a mystery and won't make any moves, especially if the rumors of the Civil War are true. Convincing Orochimaru to cause trouble is also a possibility. I better see about getting the Daimyo on my side as well to ensure that Hiruzen won't take my title away again. I can't place too much stock in Shisui's eye anymore since even with Hiruzen not doubting my loyalties, he still punished me for my hand in the Uchiha Massacre."
As Danzo schemes, he solemnly vows to himself.
" You will regret this, Hiruzen."
________________________________________
It's been a week since the Uchiha twins returned to class, and they have been quiet, well quieter than usual. Sasuke at least used to roll his eyes or slightly frown when his Fangirls bugged him, but now he shows zero reaction. Sarada is the same as well, as she used to scoff or sneer at Sasuke's fangirls. Now, however, they genuinely do not see or hear them as they both seem to be struck in their heads. Well, at least they have each other, if nothing else.
" Sasuke-kun, do you want to eat together during lunch?"
" Sasuke-kun, is there anything I can get you?"
" Sasuke-kun, how about-."
" Sasuke-kun, why don't we-."
For the love of all the gods in this world even Jashin and Kaguya, please just make them lose their voices. I would love nothing more than to shut them up myself, but the last time I tried, they got on my case for being unsympathetic to their precious Sasuke and even got Aki-Sensei to kick me out of class for it. Usually, I would not give a shit, but I want to keep a close eye on the Uchiha twins to see if I might need to deal with them before they go off the deep end, as I have little doubt they wouldn't.
I covered my ears with my hands to at least muffle the fangirls rattling and sighed in exasperation. I glanced at Sarada as she blankly stared at the chalkboard and waited for class to start. The bags under her eyes say a lot about her sleepless nights, and her gaunt face shows how little she is probably eating. Who could blame her? Her Clan, her Family, and her Parents all died at the hands of her older brother.
Itachi really has a few screws first, or at least has low EQ, as he could have just quietly dealt with the radical faction and convinced his father to keep on trying for peace no matter what while becoming a Rogue Ninja. Hell, he could have knocked his siblings beforehand as not to mess them up as much, if nothing else. My doubts about what is going on in Itachi's head aside, if canon follows through, he will die from a disease, but that's a big if since Sasuke never had a twin in the original canon.
" Don't worry, Sasuke-kun, we're here for you!"
" Sasuke-kun, I know you can make it through this because we're here."
" Sasuke-kun."
" Sasuke-kun."
" Sasuke-kun."
Okay, screw it. I've had it with these pretentious fangirls that were trying to worm their way into trauma-impacted kid.
" FOR THE LOVE THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU EMPTY-HEADED LOVE-STRUCK MIDGETS THAT ARE DROOLING OVER UCHIHA-SAN LIKE HE IS A BONE, YOU BUNCH OF MINI BITCHES. I SWEAR DID IT EVER ACCURE TO YOU TO GIVE HIM SPACE!? ON SECOND, YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T BECAUSE YOUR HEADS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN SOME UGLY DECORATIONS!"
I huffed and puffed angrily as I vocalized everything that I thought about these dumb fangirls. I won't deny their stunned looks of either horror or shock pleased me to no end. Their silence soon gave way to anger.
" YOU DEMON, HOW DARE YOU!"
" ARE SO UNSYMPATHETIC TO SASUKE-KUN THAT YOU FEEL NOTHING FOR HIS SUFFERING!"
" DROP DEAD!"
One of the girls tried to grab my shirt while the other reached for my hair, and I was not about to take their shit. So I threw a punch at the nearest one and kicked the other before charging at the rest of them as I saw red. My mind went hazy until I felt my feet dangling from the air and someone wrapping their arms around me. I quickly snapped out of it and saw the aftermath of my rage: the Sasuke Fanclub and a couple of others were covered in bruises and bloodied noses.
I turned to look at who was holding me, and it was Aki-Sensei, and she was giving me the coldest look she ever gave me. Her tone was icy and hostile as she spoke.
" Uzumaki, have you calmed down now."
" Um, yeah, thereabouts."
I sheepishly replied, and she then dropped me before saying.
" Uzumaki, you are suspended until further notice. Get out of my classroom."
Well, this is a first, but I guess I never really caused an incident this big before at the academy, until now that is. I quietly left without another word and decided to go fishing for now. The Third Hokage might visit me after this, but whatever, I only regret letting the blood rush to my head and not being aware of what I was doing. I know I won't be expelled even after this.
________________________________________
Hiruzen was in the middle of a smoke break at the roof of the Hokage Residence while enjoying the cool autumn day. His paperwork was nice, and he got up and would even be able to clock out on time for the first time since he retook office in the absence of other candidates after the Fourth Hokage's death. It felt odd to him to have actual free time to consider what to do after work, as he was usually stuck working until the need for sleep was too strong for him to ignore.
Aside from training to maintain his strength as much as he could and interacting with the next generation to promote the Will of Fire, he did little else outside of work. The Third Hokage felt a rare sense of bitterness and loss as he would have loved nothing more to spend time with his wife if she was still alive with his newfound free time. He allowed himself to feel the embers of his pain burn in mourning before thinking to himself.
" Biwako, it's not my time yet to enter the Pure Lands; Konoha still needs me as it's Hokage."
A solemn feeling filled him as he felt the weight of everything without paperwork to distract him. His thoughts filled with regret.
" Minato, it should have been me who gave my life to Konoha that night, not you."
A sigh escaped the tired old man before pulling himself together to maintain the appearance of strength as a Shinobi he must endure for Konoha. One of the ANBU appeared with the Body Flicker Jutsu, and the Third Hokage ordered.
" Report, Bat."
" There has been an incident with Naruto, sir."
Hiruzen took a moment to take a drag from his smoke pipe before listening to what happened. He was stuck between wry amusement and exasperation from learning about how Naruto antagonized and attacked the fangirls in his class, which sounded all too familiar to him.
" Kushina, your son inherited your temper and then some."
He muttered to himself with a tired smile and decided to seek out the fiery-tempered blonde before heading back to work.
________________________________________
I had a wooden spear in my hand as I fished in the river and observed the fish closely to predict its movement. I picked the next moment to strike and speared the fish. I got out of the river to clean and gut my fish, then coat it with a bit of salt before cooking on my fire. I wasn't too hungry, but I wanted to have some fish to go with the rice in my bento. As I watched my fish cook, my mind wandered off.
" What should I do in the end?"
I asked myself internally as aside from dealing with the coming shit storm and getting as strong as possible; I had no real goal outside of survival. I wasn't sure what I WANTED to do as surviving is not living. I then thought if I did not know what I wanted, then maybe I should consider what I didn't wish to do in the future.
I definitely did not want to live in Konoha as all I felt for it was disdain and disgust for this village. I would avoid becoming a Rogue Ninja if for no other reason, as it would be inconvenient to be on the run from arguably the strongest Hidden Village. Maybe take a page out of Jiraiya and Tsunade's books in that case. I did not want to fight another war after the Fourth Shinobi War, so maybe I put in some effort to gain peace between the villages somehow.
I am no diplomat or idealist, so I would probably try to wipe out all other Shinobi Villages like Madara originally wanted to do to ensure long-lasting peace; no too much work, but nothing ever worth doing is easy. I shelf the idea for now, but I would seriously need to think about it when I get strong enough to make a difference. I definitely don't want to die old and alone, so wife hunting is on the menu.
But who? Sakura and Ino are a hard pass because they never really gave up on Sasuke, Ino probably married Sai because of how much he resembled Sasuke. He actually called her beautiful because of his misunderstanding on nicknames, which will not happen because I can't use the Talk no Jutsu on the brainwashed ROOT tool.
Hinata is not bad, but I am not sure if she will develop the same obsession in me as she did in the original Naruto. How I act is different from the original is a big factor as I may well miss the fated encounter unintentionally if I haven't already. Aside from Hinata, there is Ten Ten, who seemed one of the more mild girls I can think of, and her hobby of collecting weapons is interesting as well.
Kurenai is gorgeous, period, but she is taken by Asuma, and trying to split them is unrealistic for the me of right now. If Tsunade were younger, she would have been my first choice as I like her personality after she gets her act together, which might not happen considering I am different from the original Naruto. Shizune might be possible once I get older, but something to think about later.
Then there is Anko, but she might be a bit too much for me. I would rather not find out if she is sadistic in bed because I have zero masochist tendencies. While she is sexy, I don't want to be tied up by snakes and gaged for her amusement if she is into that stuff. I think that covers all the women in Konoha who came from the show if I don't find someone else. Realistically, getting a girl outside of Konoha might not be possible, like Mei Terumi or Konan or Samui, to name the a few I am most interested in.
Karin might work if I could get some leverage to make the Hidden Grass give up on her. My desires for a wife aside, I need to grow up first literally. My fish finished cooking, and I tore it apart to sprinkle it on my rice to eat.
" Thanks for the food."
I gave my thanks as I developed the habit during my time in this world. As I ate, I heard a familiar voice call out.
" Naruto."
I looked to see the Third Hokage. He was here quicker than I expected. I waved at him without caring about the potential trouble I was in as the worst he could do was confine me to my apartment or write lines or assign me to write apology letters or whatever. I went back to eating as any punishment he might give me would probably annoy me at worst. The old man waited for me to finish eating without saying a word.
After eating the last bite, I then said to the old man.
" I only regret letting my anger dictate my action without being aware of what I was doing, Lord Hokage. I don't regret insulting or hurting those dumb fangirls for obsessing over a guy who does not even acknowledge their existence in the slightest after he went through something I hope I never understand as I can only do so through experiencing something similar."
The Third Hokage sighed as he started to lecture me.
" Naruto, through the Will of Fire, everyone is family in a way that truly matters and-."
I tuned out his Will of Fire speech and simply watched him flap his lips without listening. I could feel every second ticking away like hours, but a little bit of patience can go a long way, especially since I can not openly scoff at the half-assed idealogy coming out of his mouth. Hashirama was a fighter, not a thinker, let alone a profound philosopher, and it shows in the Will of Fire nonsense that those without critical thinking skills at a young age before being brainwashed to live and die for the village.
" This why the village is a united community that will endure any hardship."
I stopped myself from saying Bullshit and compliantly said.
" I understand, Lord Third."
He nodded at my answer and gave me my punishment, which was simply an essay on the importance of the Will of Fire. It's annoying but doable. I just have to avoid putting what I really think on paper, and I can manage.