NOVEL NEXT Crack Chapter: The strange evening
"Take your cauldrons off the fire, you useless maggots!" Snape barked, waving his cape like a third-rate circus wizard.
The students, oddly enough, listened to their professor, removing the cloudy, creamy potion from the heat and placing the pot on the table. Danil looked with interest at the viscous slurry that he ended up with and tried to understand how a potion called "Horse Power" was made from the blood of a centaur and crushed deer bone. Of course, he understood that it was magic, but how did they end up getting a potion that color?
Need I say what it looked like?
"Prof Bat, you still haven't said what this potion is!" One Ravenclaw girl noticed. "And why does it look like jizz-?"
"This is where I ask questions!" Snape roared back, snatching the still hot cauldron from the girl's table. The man looked at everyone around him with crazy eyes, pressing the heated metal to his body. "Leave your potions on the table and get lost! You'll hear your grades later!"
For a couple of moments, complete silence reigned in the office, which was broken only by the skin on Snape's hands quietly sizzling from the heat. But then everyone clearly heard someone behind the class swallow very loudly. The professor's head whipped towards the sound, where the Hufflepuff boy drank the potion straight from the cauldron.
"Idiot boy! YOU DARE TO TOUCH MY PRECIOUS!" Snape might have dropped his cauldron, but it had already become fused to his flesh.
The Idiot Boy, meanwhile, felt the effect of the potion on his body, which immediately began to react, forcing his classmates to move away from him.
In just a couple of moments, a completely ordinary boy was transformed into a strange cross between a horse and a man, very much fitting the description of a hornless satyr. His new horse legs replaced human ones and at the same time tore away his pants, showing the whole world that the lower part was definitely that of a horse. A mare pair, to be more precise.
"Merlin's dry left testicle!" The under- satyr muttered in shock. "My poor pecker!"
"LEAVE!" Snape screamed again, finally tearing his hands away from the cauldron, splashing blood and other fluids of questionable origin around like a fountain.
After that, no one lingered. But a couple of students were still able to steal one cauldron of potion for personal testing… ahem… All in the name of science!
"My precious…" Snape sniffed sadly behind the door of the closed office, hugging the dropped cauldron close to his chest.
Danil, meanwhile, was walking in a rather high corridor, trying to forget Snape's face and his passion for horses…
"It's worth telling the centaurs about this, they'll need to be wary of this pervert." He wouldn't wish anyone to acquire a stalker, especially one as ugly as Snape, so the Centaurs would definitely get their warning. "Now, how do I contact them…?" The monster boy, who had been ignoring one other pervert for several days, said thoughtfully.
"Hey, you stupid creature, what is it like to be such a freak surrounded by the finest representatives of pure blood like me?!"
Speak of the devil…
Danil turned around, looking with disgust at Draco Malfoy, who miraculously survived the Rebellion of the Pudding Queen.
At first, they wanted to simply throw it into a vat of boiling pudding, but then they decided not to spoil a good product with a rotten ingredient. After which they decided to crucify him on the cross, but they found it too cruel… As a result, Malfoy had been awaiting his fate for two months, walking around the castle, not even knowing that that week he could have been burned at the stake in front of the lake so that the giant squid could try this new snack.
But why Danil considered him a pervert? Well…
"Do you need something, Dragon shitling?" He asked purely out of politeness.
His grandfather didn't spend five years raising a child just for laughs. If Danil had not at least answered Malfoy and Kurt had found out about it, then even now his thick skin would not have saved him from being whipped.
"What could such a wonderful representative of the English Aristocracy need from such a creature like you?! Outrageous!" The blond squealed, ignoring his new nickname… Oh, no, I take that back, he began to breathe harder, and his cheeks turned red.
But Draco Malfoy would walk around with a sore ass on a permanent basis, because the boy had no politeness at all. Although it would seem that the heir to an old Pureblood family should have known better! But unfortunately, he wasn't flogged in childhood, what a pity.
"Then get out of here before I shove your legs up your ass." Danil said without much interest, turning back and continuing on his way.
He tried his best to ignore the moan behind him.
"I'm not done with you yet, Mudblood!" Malfoy squealed and ran after Danil, trying to grab him by the robe or hand, but a moment later his gaze was filled with a blue flash of a spell that fulfilled Danil's threat.
Malfoy was already prepared for a wave of euphoria, but suddenly realized that he couldn't feel the lower half of his body. And while the Heir of the Great Family Malfoy was screaming in frustration, Danil finally decided to teleport to his room and hide from all this madness.
Unfortunately, the madness did not want to leave Danil, so in his room he found a completely naked Luna Lovegood, covered in someone’s blood, which was also used to paint the runes on the stone floor. The girl's quiet chanting echoed off the walls with a strange echo that distorted her voice to incredible levels. It seemed like a dozen people were talking at the same time.
A strange light surrounded the girl in rings, focusing around her head.
"Luna, what are you doing?" The monster boy asked carefully.
The girl immediately fell silent, stopping the bloody ritual. The light immediately went out, plunging the room into pitch darkness. Three dead bodies fell from the ceiling, hitting the ground with a crunch.
"Oh, Danil! You came a little earlier than expected." She said, moving one corpse to the side, trying to hide it under the bed. Where did the bed come from…? "This is just a weekly ritual for good hair growth, nothing complicated! If you want, we'll do one for you, you'll be as shaggy as Hagrid!"
Slowly accepting his fate, Danil agreed. Because you don't say No to the Queen of the Revolution.
