How to Survive as a Dead Person in the Academy

To read the fully translated 200 chapters, patreon.com/zennin12

I was now attending Professor Delon's dungeon studies class, which I had been summoned to.

In the classroom, I saw many familiar faces.

Among them were the Monster Trio who had picked a fight with me and lost, Princess Francia who had threatened me to stay quiet, and Kyle who was waving at me with a bright smile.

'Why is he always so cheerful…?'

I shook my head slightly, hoping no one noticed, and quickly found an empty seat.

I felt the sharp stares around me but decided to ignore them.

'Ignore them, ignoring is the best strategy.'

Focusing only on the front, I tried to disregard their gazes.

Then, the door opened with a creak.

A middle-aged man with a splendid beard, holding a book thicker than most dictionaries and wearing a gold-tinted monocle, entered the room.

'Is that Professor Delon?'

As I expected, the middle-aged man tapped the desk and began to speak.

"Alright, let's start the class. Everyone, focus."

Professor Delon drew the attention of the students and asked,

"What class are we studying? Anyone answer."

A female student quickly raised her hand.

"Go ahead."

"We're studying the principles of dungeon creation, discovery, strategy, and escape. Overall, it's an exploration of comprehensive knowledge about dungeons."

"Correct."

Tap, tap.

[Fundamentals and Practice of Dungeon Studies]

He wrote on the whiteboard behind him with black letters.

"Until now, we've been learning the basic and fundamental knowledge about dungeons, how to strategize, escape, and survive within them."

Professor Delon's gaze swept over the students as he rested his hands on the podium.

"Then let me ask another question."

Silence fell over the classroom.

"Who can answer the fundamental principles of dungeon creation?"

The same water-blue-haired girl who answered before raised her hand again.

"Go ahead."

"It's the distortion of magic power. Most dungeons are created through the natural condensation or explosion of magic power. We learned that understanding these principles can also allow us to create artificial dungeons."

"…Excellent answer. You get an extra point."

Professor Delon smiled with satisfaction at the girl.

She seemed very pleased with herself.

This scene feels familiar? Ah, right. Harry Potter… So, is she Hermione?

"Dungeons are created literally because of the distortion of magic power. So, what is the distortion of magic power?"

Distortion of magic power?

So, magic power is the force that creates magic.

And it gets twisted, right?

"Magic power is mana. When mana twists and gets out of alignment, that's the distortion of magic power. Got it?"

Oh, I got it right.

"Now, who can answer the basic form of mana?"

My heart started to pound.

'Is this where we finally start learning magic? Mana, magic power, magic! Whatever it is, I'll learn it all.'

Fireball, Ice Spear, Hellfire, Teleport, and so on!

Ah, just thinking about it makes my heart race!

If I learn that, I can use magic too.

Come on, someone answer quickly.

At that moment, the girl raised her hand again.

'Great, Hermione!'

Once again, the girl with the water-blue hair raised her hand.

So, what's the basic form of mana?!

"E^2A=∝U&∂."

What?

…What is that?

"That's correct again."

With a very pleased smile, Professor Delon nodded.

He then continued writing on the blackboard with white chalk, explaining further.

Tap! Tap! Tap!

"The basic form of mana is the formula 'E^2A=∝U&∂' as Chelsea said. And when that mana gets twisted, it converts into the distortion of magic power, 'E*AS^⦡=Å+℃', and this turns into ∞, creating a dungeon."

With that, he turned to face the students.

"How is it, simple, right?"

…Pardon?

That's simple?

  *

"…Is that magic…?"

What is this?

Did I hear it wrong?

"So, the explanation for deriving the basic mana formula 'E^2A=∝U&∂' and the distortion formula 'E*AS^⦡=Å+℃' is detailed on page 782 of the book. Make sure to read it later, and next…"

On the blackboard were equations that looked like some alien language I'd never seen or heard before.

"So, the cause and origin of dungeon creation are very simple. As everyone knows, dungeons are like a virus. You know how your face breaks out during exams? That trouble applies to the world and mana, creating dungeons. So this E*AS^⦡=Å+℃'s ∞…"

Ah, I don't get it.

No matter how I look at it, I don't understand.

…I'm from the humanities department.

Then, Professor Delon asked the students again.

"How about now, simple, right?"

No, he's not Bob Ross, how can he say this is simple?

Wait, maybe Professor Delon is teaching some unnecessarily advanced, in-depth course all at once.

That girl, she's smart, so she knows everything.

Then maybe the other students don't understand and can't follow along like me?

'Ah, why make it complicated? Just check.'

Tap, tap!

I immediately reached out to the student sitting next to me.

"Hey."

The large guy sitting next to me flinched and looked at me with a startled expression.

Then, he answered in a slightly trembling voice.

"Wh-what? K-Kamon?! Wh-why?"

"Sorry for the sudden question. What's your name?"

"Huh? B-Bren."

"Okay, Bren. I have a question."

"Wh-what is it?"

"Do you understand everything written on the board? Do you get what it means?"

"…Huh?"

"I mean, do you understand all that?"

I pointed to the blackboard and asked again.

"Um…"

Bren tilted his head for a moment, then made a troubled expression as if he had realized something.

What is it? What's wrong?

Tear.

He suddenly tore a page from his notebook.

"Here."

Then handed me the torn page.

'Huh? What's this…?'

"I didn't miss any notes. T-today, this is really all I have. So, please…"

He trailed off, almost in tears, making me feel bewildered.

"Ah, no. I was just asking if you understood. I didn't get it, so I was just curious. Why are you giving me your notes…"

Then he clasped his hands together and muttered desperately.

"Sorry, Kamon. This is really all I have right now. I'll bring all the dungeon studies notes next time. P-please don't hit me."

'Hit you?'

At that moment, I made eye contact with one of the monster brothers sitting diagonally across from me.

"…"

That guy's really something.

"Hmm."

Flinch.

Even at a minor sound, he flinched.

'Well, it can't be helped here.'

Whatever I do now will probably only backfire.

So, later, whether it's a misunderstanding or whatever, I'll clear it up slowly.

The notes Bren gave me were filled with formulas and key points that Professor Delon had been explaining.

Anyway, getting such perfect notes was quite a win, right?

"Thanks, Bren. Let's focus on the class now."

"Y-yeah."

Bren quickly turned his head to look at the blackboard.

Switching between Bren's notes and the blackboard, I pressed my forehead.

'I don't get it. I still don't get it.'

The blackboard behind the podium was already filled with various equations, explanations, and annotations.

No matter how I looked at it, it seemed like a very complex mathematical formula to me.

'Like quantum mechanics or string theory, or something like that.'

Professor Delon, oblivious to my struggles, continued his enthusiastic explanation.

"So, the change in terrain due to the distortion of magic power creates new α and β axes by skewing the X, Y, and Z axes, resulting in…"

Now it felt like he was talking about geometry, functions, and linear algebra.

"…"

Talent.

It's often said that magic is a gift only those with innate talent can manifest.

'What a joke.'

At least in this novel, a mage isn't determined by talent.

'It's just that the smartest kid becomes the greatest mage and starts casting Hellfire and Teleport left and right.'

That's right.

In this world I've been transported to, it's not about talent; it's just about being good at math and physics. Those who excel in those subjects become archmages.

'Then again, studying is a talent, so maybe it is about talent?'

Ah, anyway!

Author, do you really think this setting makes sense?

"Damn it…"

Thud.

I put down my pen and held my face with both hands.

Flinch!

I could feel Bren next to me react again, but I roughly ignored it.

"Phew."

I had jotted down the alien language on my notes, but…

'I doubt I'll ever look at them again.'

You have to understand something to study it or even decide whether to look at the notes again.

Alright, it's time.

Let's prepare. Think about and plan how to survive outside the academy.

…And so, I gave up on studying.

  *

Tap, tap!

"Attention."

In the middle of the class, Professor Delon suddenly banged the desk, drawing the students' attention. He then smiled and murmured.

"Today, we will have a final pop quiz."

At his shocking announcement, the students reacted with startled expressions.

"What?"

"Suddenly?"

"…Right before finals, a pop quiz?"

Professor Delon removed his monocle, placed it on the desk, and stroked his beard as he spoke.

"Finals are usually practical exams, but we still need to have a written test. You can call me old-fashioned if you want."

"Seriously, what is this?"

"A written test? Suddenly?"

"How can we have a pop quiz without any warning!"

In response to the students' complaints, Professor Delon leaned one arm on the podium and smiled faintly.

"Alright, it's a bit sudden, isn't it? I'll give you five minutes. Consider it a break to cram quickly. We'll start the quiz exactly in five minutes. Begin."

"…"

"This sucks. What is this?"

"Hey, we're doomed anyway. Let's go to the bathroom."

Clatter.

Some students, seemingly having given up on the quiz, got up from their seats.

Rustle, rustle!

"Professor, what's the scope of the test?"

"What chapters are covered?"

Some students quickly opened their textbooks and began cramming in earnest.

"The scope of today's quiz is chapters 8 through 10. Including today's material, of course."

"Ugh."

The atmosphere among the students quickly split in half.

As for me…

"A quiz?"

I let out a chuckle and leaned back comfortably in my chair.

'I'm screwed anyway.'

This life is over.

How could I take a quiz when I don't even have the basic knowledge?

Bang, bang!

"Time's up. Everyone take your seats!"

Professor Delon banged the podium again and then snapped his fingers.

Snap!

Instantly, sheets of paper flew from the podium to each student's desk.

"Let's begin the quiz!"

As he snapped his fingers again, a white light gathered on the ceiling, forming an hourglass.

"You have 20 minutes. No cheating, you know that."

I wasn't interested in what Professor Delon was saying.

Rather.

'Is that magic?'

I was fascinated by the papers that flew to us and the floating hourglass.

"Oh, and those who finish early can submit and leave."

…What?

You can leave once you finish?

It's a waste of time to stay here anyway.

"Hmm."

I looked at the quiz paper in front of me and read the questions.

White paper, black text.

"I have no idea what any of this means."

I checked just in case, but…

'I'll just leave.'

No need to sit here staring blankly at a paper I can't answer.

Clatter!

As I got up from my seat.

Whish!

All eyes turned to me.

But this time.

"…?"

The emotions in those stares felt slightly different.

What is it now?

"Already got up?"

"Did he finish it? This fast?"

"Was Kamon always this smart?"

I could hear the students whispering.

'Yeah, I wish that were true.'

Step by step, I ignored their stares and walked up to the podium where Professor Delon stood.

"Hmm, finished already?"

Thud!

Professor Delon naturally reached for my paper but raised an eyebrow when he saw the completely blank sheet.

"…Kamon. What is this?"

"It's a quiz paper."

In my confident tone, Professor Delon stared at me in silence for a moment.

"…"

Then, nodding, he whispered softly.

"Kamon, let's have a talk for a moment."

"A talk? What do you mean…"

"Follow me."

Without waiting for my response, Professor Delon headed out of the classroom, leaving me no choice but to follow.

Just outside the classroom, he abruptly asked,

"Kamon, are you thinking about leaving the academy?"

"…Excuse me?"

To read the fully translated 200 chapters, patreon.com/zennin12