How to Survive as a Dead Person in the Academy

To read the fully translated 200 chapters, patreon.com/zennin12

Bang!

"…I can't feel mana."

I slammed my head on the library desk.

"And I can't manage magical power either."

I slammed my head again.

What's the point of studying and memorizing the basics and formulas of magic if you can't use mana?

For someone who can't use mana, magic is nothing more than an academic subject.

"So basically, I… can't use magic."

Bang!

I felt the stares from those around me, but I couldn't care less.

"…Damn it."

To put it simply, the conclusion I've reached is:

'This world is screwing me over.'

Seriously, does this even make sense?

Even a third-rate extra villain like Kamon Vade, who abandoned his reputation and character, had outstanding magical talent. But me?

"I'm just a Kamon Vade who can't use magic. A complete piece of trash."

And if Kamon Vade can't use magic, it means…

"I'm just a walking experience bonus. A golden goblin with a pile of bad karma."

Bang!

Might as well just die. Whether I die like this or like that, it's all the same in the end…

At that moment.

"Oh my, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders."

"…?"

What now?

"Well, given the situation, I suppose it's only natural."

I looked up at the unfamiliar voice.

There she was.

"Pr… Princess Francia?"

"Even in such times, you should stay strong, don't you think?"

She smiled sweetly, and I realized that the area was starting to get noisy.

"Oh my, oh my. The princess is talking to Kamon Vade?"

"How angelic she is, smiling kindly at the person who attacked her…"

Then Princess Francia spoke again.

"I heard about it. If you don't get the highest score in the upcoming exam, you'll be expelled, right?"

"What?"

She whispered in a low voice, almost to herself.

"Honestly, I hoped you'd just stay quiet and out of sight, but seeing you suffer and hit rock bottom has made me change my mind."

What the hell is wrong with this woman?

Then, she raised her voice again, loud enough for others to hear.

"Still, you mustn't lose hope. No matter how dire the situation seems, there's always a way. Even when it feels like the end, it often isn't."

"…"

She leaned in closer and whispered again.

"I want to see you struggle all the way to the bottom, flailing and sinking even deeper."

"…I see."

"Well then, I'll be on my way. I hope to see you smiling next time. Good luck."

Click, clack.

I watched her leave, the sound of her heels echoing behind her.

"Is she a complete lunatic?"

I couldn't help but express the feeling welling up from deep inside me.

She creeped me out a while ago, and now she's outright provoking me.

'Isn't the reason I couldn't get into the same group as Kyle all because of her?'

While not certain, someone with enough influence to know the group project topic for the Dungeon Studies final exam in advance could only be the princess.

"Nothing is easy."

Enduring someone's unilateral resentment and attacks.

Withstanding the world's relentless unfairness.

There wasn't a single thing that could be considered easy.

"Phew, let's cool my head first."

Squeak.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked out of the library.

  *

The Flance Imperial Academy had excellent welfare facilities for its students.

In particular, there was a large park near the library for students worn out from all-night studies or daily life.

"Is it because it's medieval? The air here is amazing."

There's no fine dust or yellow dust here.

With the sky darkening into evening and surrounded by trees, I slowly walked and enjoyed the park.

The complex and suffocating thoughts in my mind gradually cleared.

"Yeah, no need to overthink it. Magic isn't everything, right?"

I tried to comfort myself with these words when…

"…That's right. Report him already. He's nothing now."

"We'll cover for you if anything happens. Don't worry and just do it."

Familiar voices reached my ears, and I turned to look.

There, I saw…

"Damn it, do they not understand? We're not asking."

"Yeah, do we look like pushovers because we're being nice?"

Sol, Crollin, and Mork.

The monster trio were surrounding someone, continuing their threats.

'What are those idiots up to now…'

"N-no. I just…"

Huh?

That voice sounds very familiar.

Wait.

'Isn't that Bren?'

Looking closer, I saw Bren caught among the three fools, trembling.

"Damn it. Just report that bastard Kamon Vade already. He bullied you, didn't he?"

"T-that's…"

Bren stammered, obviously terrified. For some reason, a strange feeling bubbled up inside me.

"Hey!"

I shouted loudly in the direction of the three monster brothers and Bren.

"Huh?"

"What's this? Oh, Kamon?"

The three turned their heads and our eyes met.

Bren, caught in between them, muttered in a shaky voice.

"K-Kamon?"

"What are you doing?"

At my question, Crollin and Mork cracked their necks with a twisted grin.

Mork sneered and opened his mouth.

"Wow, how do you show up at such a perfect time, dirty com…"

"Huh? Princess Francia?"

Quickly, I dropped Princess Francia's name, and Mork abruptly changed his tone, skidding to a verbal halt.

"…fortable weather, isn't it? Haha, don't you think?"

"Dumbass, that's a lie."

"Huh?"

Crollin, who was beside Mork, frowned and spoke up. Mork, who had been looking around nervously, turned red with embarrassment.

"Did you fall for that?"

"What? You crazy bastard…"

"Hey, Mork. Let's just go. Come on."

Sol, sounding annoyed, tried to calm Mork down.

"Go? We're not going anywhere. This bastard needs to get a taste of his own medicine…"

"I said, let's go."

Mork's anger flared at Sol's persistent attempts to deescalate the situation.

"No, damn it. If you're scared, you can leave."

"What? Did you just say that to me?"

"You idiot. Always acting tough, but when it comes to Kamon, you're nothing but a coward."

"…Are you out of your mind?"

"Hey, why are you guys fighting? Don't fight."

Seeing Sol and Mork bicker among themselves, I couldn't help but smirk and mutter under my breath.

"Look at them, making a scene. Bren, just come over here quickly."

"Uh? Oh, okay."

Bren, caught between the three, started to move toward me. But then…

"Hey, move a single step, and your academy life will become a living hell."

"Hic."

At Mork's threat, Bren froze and began to hiccup.

'These bastards?'

I didn't plan to play along with the three stooges or act like a hero of justice, but watching their antics was starting to get on my nerves.

'Seriously, already annoyed by that crazy woman…'

I spoke in a low, threatening tone.

"Make his academy life a living hell? That's amusing."

"Is he laughing again?"

Sol, looking slightly uneasy, and Mork and Crollin, both clearly furious, stared at me.

"…"

I didn't care anymore. From the moment I entered this academy, these guys have been bothering me non-stop. I had no reason to be kind to them.

"Bren, I have a question for you."

"Huh?"

"If people commit crimes, one involving human trafficking, another smuggling prohibited items, and the last one from a family that colluded with an enemy nation, what kind of punishment would they face?"

"K-Kamon, stop it. Okay, okay, just stop."

Sol tried to intervene, but I continued.

"What kind of punishment would they face?"

"Uh, what are you talking about, Kamon?"

Bren looked confused, not understanding my point, but the other three were different.

"How… how do you know?"

"…What are you talking about?"

They all looked at me, pale and horrified.

"It wouldn't just end with expulsion from the academy, right?"

"Of course not. At the very least, they'd lose their titles, and if the crime is severe, they could even face… execution."

"Execution, huh?"

I emphasized the word 'execution' with a sinister smile.

"I see. Then where should I report this?"

"W-wait, Kamon. Haha. Calm down and listen to me. This is just…"

Sol, now groveling, spoke hastily. I turned to Bren.

"Bren, why are you still there? Come over here."

"Uh, but…"

Bren looked nervously at the monster trio, but…

"Go on, hurry up."

"Yeah, Kamon is calling you. Just go."

Sol and the others, sweating profusely, reluctantly let Bren go.

As Bren approached me, I whispered in his ear.

"Bren, meet me in front of the library later. Wait for me there."

"Huh?"

Bren hesitated, glancing between me and the trio, but then nodded.

"Okay, Kamon. See you later."

"Yeah, see you then."

I smiled brightly at him, and he headed towards the library.

And then…

Thud!

"I-I'm sorry, Kamon."

Sol, Crollin, and Mork all knelt before me, apologizing profusely.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For daring to act out of line… If we offended you, we'll stay quiet from now on."

"Yes, we'll stay out of sight. Just please keep this a secret."

Seeing them grovel so quickly after being caught, I shook my head and muttered.

"Just like that?"

"…What?"

"You said you didn't want to see a filthy commoner like me acting out, so I should make sure you never see it again?"

"No, no. If you need anything, just tell us. We'll do anything."

Sol, the trio's leader, declared confidently. I smiled in satisfaction and nodded.

"Alright, good."

They seemed to think it was over, bowing their heads and thanking me.

"K-Kamon."

"…Thank you so much."

However…

"If I need anything, I'll let you know later. But for now, we have something to settle, don't we?"

"What?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, even though I'm a person, you guys have messed with me more than three times now. I can't just let that slide, can I?"

Once in front of the administration office.

Twice in front of the noble dining hall.

And now here, three times.

Even the most patient and understanding person would say three times is enough. Don't you agree?

Any more leniency, and I'd just be a pushover.

"Uh… So, what should we do?"

Seeing the monster trio asking cautiously, I smiled more wickedly than ever and spoke.

"So, tell me. How many hits do you want to take? Just enough to pay for what you did."

To read the fully translated 200 chapters, patreon.com/zennin12