How to survive as a beggar count

Chapter 13

“Anyone who wants to live, raise your hand.”

“I’m, I’m sorry, but my hand…”

“Oh, right. I need to get my head straight.”

Before they could regain their senses, I ordered Ram to dig a hole deep into the ground.

It was about the size where five adult men could fit and the height where their necks would be submerged.

“You’re talking about a hole, right?”

“Yeah. Trash should be buried in the ground.”

“…Ah!”

Ram quickly grasped my intentions and began digging enthusiastically.

I thought it might take some time since he seemed frail, but less than an hour later, the hole was ready. Maybe it’s because he lives in the mountains?

“Ugh…”

After a while, the guys who had been unconscious started regaining consciousness one by one.

But since they’d just woken up and were buried underground, their heads were spinning.

“Now, once more. Who wants to live?”

“Please, please just spare my life!”

“I swear, I’ll never do anything bad again! So…!”

“Ah, enough with the talk.”

I gave the loudest one a smack on the top of his head.

“Argh!”

The guy who got hit rolled his eyes and fainted again.

“Phew…”

“Well, I get it. No one wants to die, right?”

“Y-yes…”

“You know how precious your life is. But you didn’t care about the lives of others.”

“But, but! We never killed anyone!”

“Really?”

I glanced at Ram to confirm. Then one of the guys buried underground glared at Ram fiercely.

“What are you glaring at?”

“Argh!”

I smacked him on the head again, and he foamed at the mouth and fainted.

Ram hesitated for a moment before speaking up.

“A guy named Hans fought against these guys and got beaten pretty badly. He survived, but… one of his legs is going to be crippled for life.”

“Ugh…”

“So this guy does all that and then acts innocent?”

“…Argh!”

I gave the loudmouth who boasted about never committing murder a smack on the head.

Now, there were only two left.

The leader and the one with the broken shoulder.

“Grr…”

The guy with the broken shoulder seemed to be less conscious, shaking his head here and there before fainting again.

In the end, only the leader, who had started the trouble, was left.

I sat down in front of him with a thud.

“You’re the only one here who seems like you might be able to have a proper conversation.”

“Hahaha…”

He grinned, perhaps deciding not to spit in my face despite the smile.

“Are you really laughing now?”

“Ugh…”

“Do you even know what you’ve done?”

“…I greatly offended you by not recognizing you properly!”

“No, that’s obvious. What I mean is before that.”

“…I foolishly said I’d kidnap you!”

“Before that.”

“…I recklessly tried to intimidate your domain!”

“Right. That’s what I didn’t like.”

“……”

As Ram, who had been cooling off beside me, looked on, his eyes started to glisten.

Ah. I had misunderstood this person.

Lord Ian Impera, for the sake of his people, was working so hard. I didn’t know that and had been cursing him all this time.

Thinking that made my chest swell, and tears began to well up in my eyes.

‘Actually, that’s not entirely true, but what really pisses me off is…’

It’s because of these damn guys that I almost couldn’t have Bluefin.

It’s bad enough that I’ve ended up as the reckless son of a poor Count.

“I won’t kill you.”

“R-really? Thank you! My lord!”

“Well, Hans the young man got hurt, but as that guy said earlier, he didn’t die, so instead…”

“Instead?”

“You need to pass a test.”

“Anything! I’ll do it!”

“Yeah?”

He didn’t even know what I was thinking, but he was so relieved he just kept smiling.

“Ram. From now on, pick as many Bluefins as you can.”

“Eh? Oh, understood!”

Ram, not sure why, just followed my orders and started picking Bluefins in silence.

Soon, he gathered a large handful of deep blue Bluefins.

It looked like at least 5 kilograms worth.

‘Come to think of it, I didn’t even get a taste earlier.’

I was about to take a bite, but these guys interrupted, and I didn’t get to try it.

If it’s sweeter than Redfin…

Crunch!

“Mmm…”

As soon as I took a bite of the Bluefin, I realized Ram wasn’t exaggerating.

The fruit’s tangy sweetness filled my mouth, and the aftertaste stayed for a while, leaving a strong sweet flavor.

I quickly devoured a whole Bluefin the size of my fist.

It was perfect as a quick snack or energy boost after exercise.

“This is so good.”

It was good, but it was so sweet that I couldn’t eat more than two.

Too much sweetness can be hard to continue eating.

This was actually perfect for what I was planning to do next.

“This tastes great. You should try some too.”

“Yeah! I’ll enjoy it!”

I handed a Bluefin to the head poking out of the ground, and he eagerly started munching.

“One more.”

“Munch munch… Yes! I’ll have another!”

“One more.”

“Munch munch…”

“One more.”

“Ugh… Just a second…”

After giving him about five Bluefins, he frowned as if his stomach was upset.

“One more.”

“Please, no more… I can’t eat anymore…”

“Do you want to eat, or do you want to die?”

“Ugh…”

I kept stuffing Bluefins into his mouth.

The sweetness was an issue, but his stomach was already buried underground. Even if more fruit went in, there was no room for his stomach to expand.

“One more.”

“Ugh!”

In the end, he couldn’t eat any more and vomited up the Bluefin. But I didn’t stop.

“One more.”

“Ugh…! Please, stop…!”

“If you don’t eat everything here today, you’re not leaving. Got it?”

“Ugh…”

Ram, who had been chuckling from the side, was enjoying the situation. The guy couldn’t get angry at me, so he glared at Ram instead.

“Those eyes are still alive. Five more.”

“Ugh…!”

“I’ve picked some fresh ones!”

“Why aren’t you chewing faster? Should I add one more?”

“No, no! I’ll eat it quickly!”

After about an hour, all the Bluefins had been eaten.

“It’s over.”

“Huff… Huff…”

“If you act up in my domain again, it won’t end like this. Next time, instead of Bluefins, I’ll make you drink molten iron.”

“…Gah!”

As soon as I finished speaking, he lost consciousness.

I figured this was a sufficient warning to send to the bandits.

‘Even if I kill these bandits, more will just pop up.’

It was better to send a clear warning.

I didn’t know if the five I dealt with would make it back alive, but maybe one or two would.

Then rumors would spread among them.

That Ian Impera is a madman you don’t mess with.

A crazy person who tortures people with food.

“Oh, right.”

I almost forgot.

Thud! Thud!

I smacked the heads of the unconscious bandits buried in the ground. Since they were already unconscious, only dull sounds could be heard.

For a while, or maybe for the rest of their lives, they’d live with broken arms… but what does that matter? They wouldn’t be missed by the world.

“This is for Hans.”

“Thank you so much, my lord!”

As soon as we returned to the village, Ram bowed down with gratitude. His eyes were even a little moist.

I didn’t do it to receive thanks, but there’s nothing wrong with being liked by the people of the domain.

“My lord!”

In the village, the elder who had been waiting earlier was now anxiously pacing.

He seemed worried about what had happened to his grandson.

“Grandfather!”

“Ha ha ha! You’re safe! Ram!”

“I just went to take care of some business. Why are you so worried?”

“Ah… S-sorry, my lord… I’m so sorry for the wrongdoings of this young grandson… I’m at a loss for how to repay your kindness…”

“Well, this works out well. I had something I wanted to ask the village chief.”

“Something to ask? What do you need, my lord?”

The chief seemed confused, not understanding what I meant.

“Anything! You’ve taken care of the bandits, so I’ll do anything you ask!”

“Bandits?”

Ram excitedly began explaining everything that had happened to the village chief. After hearing the story, the chief responded in a similar way to Ram.

He immediately bowed down, expressing his thanks.

“Ah, thank you! Just give me the order, and I’ll do my best!”

It seemed like things were going to get easier.

“Well, there’s something I need to change.”

“Yes! What would you like, my lord?”

“It’s about the taxes in Erovel Village.”

“Ah…”

For a moment, the chief hesitated.

I knew the situation in this poor village well.

The chief, even more so, must have been struggling. It was difficult enough just to make a living in Erovel Village.

Raising taxes here would make it hard for them to even eat, and the chief understood that better than anyone. But he didn’t object to my words.

“It won’t hurt the livelihood of the people.”

At that, the chief’s expression brightened.

“Anything you say, my lord!”

“I want to start collecting taxes in crops, not gold.”

“…Crops?”

Not just the chief, but even Ram was confused by my suggestion.

“Yeah. I noticed that Redfin was really tasty. One every morning would be perfect. Bluefin would be good occasionally too.”

“C-could that really work?”

“Well, if you’re bored, we can also try other crops. But I’d like it if you could bring them to the estate every first day of the week. Can that be done?”

“Of course! We already go to the city to sell fruit every other day! Just let us know, and we’ll bring it!”

“Alright. Then… for now, a small cart should be enough. Just once a week.”

“Your Highness, but… will you truly be satisfied with these humble fruits?”

The village chief continued to ask, as if he couldn’t believe it.

From Erovel Village’s perspective, it was an incredibly good deal. They wouldn’t have to go to the market to sell fruit anymore.

Moreover, on days when the fruit didn’t sell well, they often had to sell it off cheaply just to make enough to pay taxes.

But being able to settle taxes with just a cartload of fruit, without that loss, was something the village chief couldn’t easily comprehend.

‘Honestly, even I think it’s strange. A family of counts having to eat grain porridge because they can’t afford food.’

And if the opportunity arose, I might be able to use this to set up a trade route with merchants.

For that, I needed to have a variety of local specialties ready.

‘I can’t keep living in poverty.’

For now, I would focus on food, but I’d also need to find a way to harvest it sustainably.

There was a merchant group mentioned in the novel, what were they called again?

There was no need to explain that complicated stuff to the village chief, nor did I have a reason to.

“What’s with all the questions? Don’t you like the idea?”

“N-no, my lord. I’ll follow your orders.”

The village chief and Ram responded, albeit reluctantly.

The village chief and Ram had agreed without thinking, but later they’d realize it would benefit them as well.

‘Taxes might drop a bit, but… it’s a small village anyway.’

I was certain I would gain far more than a few coins in taxes.

As I was about to leave, I suddenly remembered something Ram had said earlier.

It was about Hans.

In truth, the safety of the domain was the lord’s responsibility.

If Aemon had had the luxury of time, this whole situation wouldn’t have happened.

And one of the reasons for that was Ian himself.

Thinking about that left me feeling uneasy, as if I’d done something wrong.

‘…Ugh. This feels uncomfortable.’

“Did you say his name was Hans? The one with the injured leg?”

“No way…! My lord!”

Ram, realizing what I meant, seemed to be on the verge of tears, either from emotion or surprise.

“I’m not saying I’ll heal him. I just want to check on him. Is he still in the village?”

“Yes! I’ll bring him right now!”

Ram quickly ran back to the village and helped Hans, who had been lying down, to come with him.

Hans, who had just been lying down, had no idea what was going on and didn’t understand the situation.

“And this is…?”

“This is Lord Impera! He’ll take a look at your leg!”

“R-really?”

‘Why did I say that?’

As the situation unfolded, I started to regret my words. If I couldn’t fix it, it would be terribly embarrassing.

“Heal.”

After casting the healing spell, I examined his leg.

“…Hmm?”

“Is there some issue with my leg?”

No, there was nothing wrong with Hans’s leg.

I had healed torn muscles hundreds of times, so fixing Hans’s leg would be easy.

If I had lived in a proper domain rather than this small village, it would have been a simple task.

The problem wasn’t Hans’s leg—it was the splint he was wearing.

The white material on the splint.

“…Where did this wood come from?”