How To Ruin A Love Comedy

In the end, I failed to score.

It was because I didn’t hit with the section of my shinai that could score a valid point but hit with the blade section just below it.

To put it simply, I failed to measure the distance.

After that, I couldn’t even properly attack, conceding two points and suffering defeat. I couldn’t even grasp what was happening; it all ended with two swift strikes to my waist. It felt like she was genuinely trying to ‘beat’ me.

‘Such a pity.’

But my spirit remained high.

Why? Although I didn’t score, I did manage to land a psychological blow on Renka. Moreover, I achieved my goal of becoming the main character of the event.

Renka will likely remember me more than Tetsuya, with whom she had a serious match.

That’s good enough for me.

Speaking of which, it’s fascinating.

I’ve never practiced kendo, let alone any martial art similar to it, but when I moved instinctively, astonishing scenes emerged. Is this the protagonist’s talent? It feels so exhilarating.

“Matsuda hubae-nim.”

At Chinami’s call, I, who was wiping the protective gear in the storage room with her, looked up.

“Yes?”

“It’s such a shame. You could have beaten Renka…”

Chinami’s voice was slightly subdued. It wasn’t jealousy that I almost did what she couldn’t. Chinami isn’t that petty.

Her reaction probably stemmed from seeing me striking at Renka’s waist. Perhaps she’s even contemplating whether to seriously teach me Sangdanse.

I sat almost glued to Chinami, who was cross-legged.

Then I gave her a big, reassuring smile.

“It’s all thanks to Sensei.”

“Huh...? Thanks to me?”

“I saw how you attacked Ino-oh Sunbae’s waist during the second match. I tried imitating it, albeit clumsily.”

“Oh, is that so...? How did you even notice that...? Are you a genius or something?”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, “Let me give you a massage as a token of gratitude.”

“What...? No, I didn’t do anything... Ah...!”

Chinami let out a cute whimper as I softly grasped the back of her neck. My fingers gently traced the fine hairs from the nape of her neck.

As I tenderly caressed her slim, sexy neck disguising it as a gentle massage,

“Ungh...”

Chinami made a languid sound unique to her. Her head, now limp, moved in whatever direction I applied force.

‘So, the nape is a sensitive spot for her.’

Her reactions are truly entertaining.

“Eek...!”

Chinami, biting her lip, managed to slip away from my grasp. With her face flushed, she scolded me.

“Hubae-nim...! I told you...! Grabbing someone else’s neck without permission is...”

“Is sensei ‘someone else’?”

“Well, we’re in a master-disciple relationship, but... it’s not right...!”

Not right? Somehow that sounds provocative.

“I was merely trying to massage my sensei as a disciple.”

“Your intentions are appreciated...! But ask first next time...!”

“Understood.”

Upon seeing my compliant demeanor, Chinami took a deep breath, her hips swaying slightly. She then sat down beside me again, stretching her neck this way and that, and resumed cleaning the protective gear.

Whether she was recalling the earlier massage or maybe thinking about some food, Chinami was fully focused, occasionally smacking her lips. I extended my phone towards her.

“Sensei, could I have your contact number?”

“My contact? Ah, right... In case you have questions about kendo.”

Truth be told, unless you bring it up, I won’t be asking a single question about that. I just want to chat and hang out.

With her dainty fingers, Chinami dialed her number and handed my phone back.

“Hubae-nim has tremendous potential. Starting tomorrow, we should focus more on Sangdanse techniques. But you must also thoroughly learn Jungdanse. You couldn’t move an inch from the second match because you don’t have experience and don’t fully understand the Jungdanse techniques.”

“I see. But you acknowledged me?”

“It was an attack that couldn’t be ignored. But remember, never be overconfident. Understood?”

“Yes. I’m just happy to be acknowledged by Sensei. Should I buy you ice cream?”

“What flavor? I like... Ah! No, it should be me treating you. As a congratulation and all. I’ll buy peach-flavored ice cream tomorrow. Just enjoy it.”

“Are there any other flavors?”

“I love peaches.”

“Wouldn’t you ask for my preference?”

“Everyone likes peaches. I’m sure you’ll love it too.”

Chinami would probably excel in sales.

With that gentle face, I doubt anyone could resist buying whatever she’s selling.

I’m tempted to touch the back of her neck again to tease her, but I’m still in the early stages of winning over Chinami. Too much proactiveness might backfire, so I’ll restrain myself.

***

Leaving the kendo club, I saw Renka and Tetsuya engaged in a quiet conversation.

It was mostly Renka speaking, seemingly offering advice.

As I approached the two of them, Renka, crossing her arms, asked,

“Where’s Chinami?”

Her voice was rather monotonous, as if she was making an effort to appear calm.

“She went to the restroom for a bit. Looks like you and Chinami Sunbae-nim are leaving together?”

“We are, today. Also... I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For using too much force in a coaching match.”

It wasn’t an attempt to soothe my bruised ego; it was sincere. It was an apology not only to me but also to herself, for losing her restraint and pushing me too hard. I shrugged off Renka’s apology as if it was of little concern.

“It’s fine.”

“.... I’m glad to hear that. And hey... don’t teach Chinami anything weird.”

“Anything weird?”

“You know, that breathing technique or whatever... there’s no such breathing method in the world.”

It’s a technique from a character you adore, and you call it ‘that breathing technique’? Why pretend you don’t know?

At Comiket^(1), you’d excitedly get an autograph from that author...

“You heard that? How?”

“I... just happened to overhear it... Anyway, don’t do it.”

“I was just joking.”

“Chinami is the type who, unless told it’s a joke, will take things seriously. She’s naive like that.”

“Then I’ll just tell her later it was a joke. Okay?”

“... Fine. You did well today... Next time we spar, I’ll guide you properly.”

Next spar? Wouldn’t it be more about boiling rage than guidance?

A scenario where she gets frustrated thinking she could never beat a fierce guy like me and ends up acknowledging me as the dominant one... I’ll make it happen someday.

“Alright, I’m going then.”

“Yeah. Take care. You too, Miura.”

Tetsuya responded with a respectful bow towards Renka.

As I walked towards the parking lot after parting ways with Renka, I stole a glance at Tetsuya, who seemed dejected.

Having shown such a poor performance compared to my standout one must’ve taken a toll on his self-esteem.

He does have potential in kendo. So, he should try harder. It’d be better if he occasionally explodes with feelings of inferiority.

I gave Tetsuya a hard pat on the back.

“Why are you so down today? Cheer up, man.”

He flinched, possibly from the unexpected pain, and then grimaced.

“Thanks, Matsuda. But did you have to hit that hard?”

“You think that was hard? Then, if you trip on the street, you’ll probably break a bone.”

“That... Oh? There’s Miyuki.”

Tetsuya’s face brightened up as he looked straight ahead. Following his gaze, I saw Miyuki walking towards us from the parking lot where she had been waiting.

“Matsuda-kun! Why did you hit Tetsuya-kun?”

She approached with a voice devoid of any reprimanding tone, craning her neck to see. Looking frustrated, I turned towards Tetsuya, asking in a threatening manner,

“Did I hit you?”

“Well, you did, but...”

“So, I hit you?”

“N-not seriously... It was just a playful encouragement...”

Hearing his response, I looked back at Miyuki.

“See?”

“Matsuda-kun, if you wear such a stern expression, who would dare speak the truth?”

“Another nagging? Maybe I should just silence your mouth...”

“Why would you silence my mouth? If you don’t want to hear, cover your own ears... Ahhh!”

Miyuki shrieked and pulled away, for I had reached out to grab her. With a face mixed with amusement, she swiftly retreated towards my car. As I unlocked the car door with my smart key, she quickly slid into the passenger seat.

Rolling my eyes, I complained to Tetsuya.

“She’s becoming more playful day by day. Does she do the same with you?”

“... With me, she’s even more mischievous.”

Is that so? Let’s lessen her mischievousness, one by one, in the future then.

“That must be exhausting.”

“Not really... Isn’t it fun?”

“Is it? Let’s get going.”

“Right. Thanks for the ride today as well.”

***

Throughout the ride home, Tetsuya refrained from mentioning my performance. It seemed like he didn’t want to praise me in front of Miyuki.

Silently scoffing at Tetsuya’s timid and laughably rebellious attitude, I dropped him off.

As soon as it was just Miyuki and me, I abruptly took her hand and interlocked our fingers.

At my gesture, Miyuki chuckled and remarked insincerely,

“You shouldn’t drive with one hand...”

“Should I let go then?”

“No, no... I didn’t mean it like that... And Matsuda-kun, why are you so quick to use force? You promised me you’d refrain from violence.”

Miyuki was referring to when I had smacked Tetsuya’s back earlier. She didn’t seem to be genuinely concerned about that; instead, it looked like she just didn’t want our conversation to lapse.

“I saw he was down, so I gave him an encouraging pat. Didn’t you notice Miura today? How he seemed distracted even while talking with us?”

“Well... He did look a bit off. I’ll ask him about it today and let you know.”

“I’m not really curious. But how’s the cultural festival preparation going?”

“It’s good; we’re almost done. The makeup crew has been working hard... Since you’ve been slacking off every day, you’d better diligently check tickets during the festival. Don’t you dare slack off, or you’ll be in trouble.”

“Didn’t Miura slack off every day too?”

“Tetsuya-kun did come to help us from time to time during lunch. Plus, he’s going to be in ghost makeup.”

“Oh? What kind of makeup?”

“We originally planned on having him as Shuten-doji^(2), but it didn’t seem fitting, so we settled on Namahage^(3) instead.”

“Namahage? That red-faced ogre with a kitchen knife?”

“Yep.”

Things seem to have changed because of me. I’m sorry, Tetsuya.

As we were nearly at Miyuki’s house, I steered the car into a secluded alley and parked. Then, I leaned in, closing the gap between my face and hers.

As she blinked in surprise, locking eyes with me, her cheeks gradually flushed a deep red.

“...Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Can’t I look at you?”

“It’s not that, but...”

“Are you going to the after-party? Since you’re the class representative?”

“Yes...”

“Enjoy yourself, but contact me before it gets too late.”

“Contact Matsuda-kun? Aren’t you going to the after-party?”

“No.”

“Why not? It’d be good if we went together... You don’t have many friends, right? Wouldn’t it be a good opportunity to make some more?”

Flashing a gentle smile at Miyuki’s concerned expression, I spoke in the deep voice she loved, very warmly.

“Contact me. Got it?”

With her face now fully flushed, she lowered her head and replied.

“Y-yes, I’ll contact you... But what are you going to do..?”

Pausing for a moment, I lightly, teasingly scratched the back of her hand, causing her to tingle.

“Don’t... don’t do that...”

Ignoring her attempt to pull away from my grip, I responded calmly.

“We’ll be together that day... Just the two of us.”

“Just the two of us...?”

“Yes. Just us.”

Having heard this much, Miyuki might have a vague idea of what I’m implying. Even if she doesn’t realize it now, once she returns home and mulls it over, she’ll understand the hidden meaning behind my words.

Of course, there wasn’t any absolute certainty in it. I hadn’t explicitly mentioned that she’d be staying at my place that night. But because of the words ‘Just the two of us,’ she might mentally prepare and possibly even physically prepare.

“O-okay... I’ll do that...”

Seeing Miyuki fiddling with the interlocked fingers, I placed my hand over hers and gave a gentle smile. Upon which, Miyuki swallowed hard and spoke.

“...Are you just going to leave like this?”

“What would you like me to do?”

“Here...”

She gently pressed her index finger to her lips, and her almond-shaped fingernails shined faintly.

Watching her blatant gesture, I laughed, and not wanting to make her wait any longer, I leaned my face closer to hers.

︵‿︵‿୨ * ୧‿︵‿︵

{ 1. Comiket (코미케): A reference to “Comic Market,” the world’s largest doujinshi (self-published works) fair held in Japan. It’s a place where fans and creators gather, and attendees often meet their favorite authors and artists.

2. Shuten-doji: A legendary oni from Japanese folklore, known for terrorizing ancient Kyoto and consuming human flesh and sake.

3. Namahage: A folklore creature from the Akita Prefecture of Japan, depicted as demon-like beings, who visit homes during New Year’s Eve, brandishing large knives and asking whether there are any crybabies around. They’re both a figure of fear and a cultural icon used to teach children good behavior.

You can support the translation and read ahead on Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/Devill }