How The Sub-Male Lead’s Stepmother Teaches Love

“What?”

 

“The scar still remains.”

 

Leonhard took my hand and brought it to his left chest. The clothes he was wearing underneath the cloak were not very thick, so I could feel his scars slightly bulging above the thin fabric.

 

Even the scar wasn’t small. I asked while groping his chest, noticing the scar that was much bigger than I expected.

 

“Isn’t this where your heart is? How did you live?” 

 

“She missed it. If it had stabbed me any further up, I would have died on the spot.”

 

For a moment, my mind went blank and no thoughts came to mind. I looked at his face blankly, then looked down at his left chest, and then hugged him around the waist.

 

My eyes were glazed over, and I felt like tears would fall if I let them.

 

I buried my face in his arms and blinked rapidly, and as if he knew, Leonhard wrapped his hands around my back and held me close.

 

“Everyone said I was lucky, but if she really wanted to kill me, she would have stabbed me right in the heart. My sister hesitated for a moment before stabbing me. That’s why her sword missed the heart.” 

 

“Regardless of the moment of hesitation, it is true that he tried to kill you. Still, did you feel like you should give her the successor position? How? Why? Are you not even angry?”

 

“Rather than being angry,…at that time, I was just relieved.”

 

“Relieved for what? That you survived?”

 

“No. I was relieved that my sister hesitated for a moment.”

 

I felt Leonhard’s cheek touch my head.

 

“It occurred to me that she didn’t hate me….”

 

Is it because of the breathtaking voice that seems to be extinguished even by a gentle breeze?

 

I was the one being held in his arms, but strangely, I clearly felt that he was leaning on me.

 

I didn’t know what to say, so I bit my lip and gave strength to my hand around his back.

 

How strange. His body, which I had always thought was strong, felt very weak today.

 

“Did you ever want to be loved….so much by your sister?”

 

I felt Leonhard nod from above, resting his cheek against my head.

 

“Even if it was only for a time, she was the only one who ever loved me.” 

 

‘The only one…’

 

Those words tightened around my heart like a rope. 

 

Questions rose in my throat, but I pressed my lips together, wondering what his parents were like.

 

If Leonhard’s sister had even an ounce of affection for him, she wouldn’t have put a sword in his chest.

 

How great the hunger must be felt in his heart to receive and drink even a drop of affection, which may or may not be present in his sister.

 

I felt a little glad for his healthy beating heart. I pressed my ear to his chest and opened my mouth.

 

Maybe it was because I was pressed against his body, so somehow my voice sounded like it was echoing.

 

“So what about now? Do you still want to be loved by her?” 

 

“No. Now I know it’s impossible.”

 

“Why is it impossible?” 

 

“Because I heard it from my sister. The moment I was stabbed by her sword without resisting……. the last drop of affection she had left for me disappeared completely.”

 

“……”

 

“And then I knew. What she really wanted was to compete with me with all her might, and then lose and accept the result.”

 

“But did you ever think that if you died, your sister would inherit the title?”

 

“My sister has every right to inherit that.”

 

I patted his back lightly as I heard his voice laced with a bitter smile.

 

I don’t know if it will help or not, but I still felt fortunate that I was being held by him like this.

 

Sometimes a hundred words can’t convey the comfort that a shared body heat can.

 

“Don’t you feel resentful towards your sister? Whether it’s love or anything else, taking it away after it’s been given to you is a shameful thing to do.”

 

“Because I stole something from her first. It’s natural that she hates me.”

 

“It’s not natural at all, right? It was not your will that caused the pattern to appear in the first place, and it was the adults who changed the successor over the pattern. You didn’t do anything, so why is that natural?” 

 

“If it weren’t for me, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

 

Leonhard answered in an emotionless voice as if he was stating a very obvious fact. 

 

I momentarily tightened my brows.

 

“Don’t say that. I don’t really like that word. There is no sin in a born child. 

If there is truly a sin, it would be the adult who made the child think that way.”

 

“But—”

 

“No.”

 

I poked him in the side with my index finger, telling him he’d get in trouble if he continued. That shut him up.

 

I knew it couldn’t be, but I rubbed my palm over the spot where I’d poked him, just in case it hurt.

 

“If it hurts, just say it hurts. Why do you keep blaming yourself?” 

 

“……”

 

“I kind of understand why you had a hard time with Noah. I guess you were scared that you would do something wrong and be hated like you were with your sister.”

 

A thought suddenly occurred to me.

 

‘When he returned after a long absence and heard from Noah, ‘Marquis,’ This person must have been hurt a lot. Maybe at that time, this person might have given up on being loved by Noah.’

 

‘Is there anything that makes a person more of a coward than being hated by someone he loves?’

 

If I could turn back time, I wanted to hug him when he was lonely as a child. But since I can’t do that, I have no choice but to hug him as much as he is now. 

 

“But that doesn’t make your fault go away. Noah is Noah, not your sister. Don’t add a dead person to his life. You know, it’s irreversible now, right?”

 

“You’re right.”

 

“The child is also worried that he will be hated for doing something wrong to you. If a five-year-old is scared, an adult should come up to him and comfort him and hug him, that’s what an adult should do, right?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then promise me.”

 

I held out my pinky finger, and Leonhard took it without even listening to what I would say.

 

‘Surely he wouldn’t just stamp the contract without even reading it, right?’

 

I looked straight into Leonhard’s face, thinking I’d have to watch him do the paperwork later.

 

“Noah read your letter today, and it took him a while to get around to writing a reply, so why don’t you write a reply before you go?”

 

“I will do that.”

 

“And when you get back to the castle, I want you to eat with Noah at least one meal a day, all three meals a day if you can. Can you do that?”

 

“Yes. I will try my best.”

 

“And also, It’s not every day, but I read Noah a story before he goes to bed. You haven’t read any of the children’s books we bought together in the capital back then, right? We read it all at once.”

 

“I feel a little bad when you say ‘we’ when it’s just the two of you and not me.”

 

“So who told you to leave the castle?”

 

Leonhard laughed lightly at the playful tone in my voice. 

 

Only then did the heavy atmosphere surrounding us become a little clearer and lighter.

 

“And one last thing.” 

 

“Is there another?”

 

“Yes. That’s why you should have listened before putting your finger, but you already did.”

 

Leonhard burst into laughter once more at my words. Then he answered me in a warm voice as if whispering.

 

“I will listen to anything my wife says.”

 

“That’s a very good attitude.”

 

I said smugly and released the little finger I had been holding on to him and grabbed his left wrist. And I untied the ribbon a little clumsily. 

 

“I will take this off.”

 

Then, the color visibly drained from Leonhard’s face. 

 

“Nell.”

 

“This is already dirty. I’ll tie it back up with a new one. You are the Marquis, are you going to go around with a stained ribbon like this?”

 

“No one cares anyway.”

 

“Good. I’m the only one who cares, so you can just accept my opinion, right?”

 

I held the wrinkled ribbon in the direction of the lamp and looked closely at it. It was so wrinkled that I wondered if Leonhard could use it for its original purpose after I washed it, but I was relieved to see that there were no dark red marks on the ribbon. 

 

“Is it okay to take the thing that was given to me in hopes of a safe return?”

 

“If anyone hears it, they’ll think I took your wedding ring.”

 

I untied the ribbon at the end of my messy braided hair and tied it around Leonhard’s wrist again.

 

He’d been holding my hand patiently, and as soon as I let go, he ran a comb through my hair as if he’d been waiting for it.

 

The ribbon tying the ends had come loose, and my hair, which had been carelessly braided, fell gently between his fingers.

 

“What are you going to do with that ribbon?” 

 

I was about to say, “I should throw it away,” but I changed my words because I thought he would ask for it. 

 

“I’ll wash it.”

 

“I’ll do it.”

 

Then he opens his palm to me as if asking for something. I found it both funny and shocking, so I slapped his palm.

 

“Why are you so obsessed with this ribbon? Have you grown attached to it?” 

 

“I guess so. While I was in Hiyela, that ribbon was my wife’s.”

 

“Well, your real wife is here, so forget about that.”

 

“But…”

 

“If you keep doing that, I’ll send this ribbon to your bedroom on the fifth floor instead of me.”

 

Then Leonhard kept his mouth shut. But even so, he didn’t stop looking at the ribbon.

 

‘No, what is this ribbon?’ 

 

As I looked at Leonhard’s face, who couldn’t easily let go of the ribbon, that thought suddenly came to mind.

 

‘As he said, the only person who loved him was his older sister when he was young, and that was only for a short time.…I might be the first person to give him a word telling him to have a safe trip.’

 

“Okay, I’ll give it to you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Just take this, don’t wear it.”

 

“I will keep it separately.”

 

He quickly became excited, folded the ribbon I returned, and put it in his pocket.

 

I felt a little sorry for him, seeing him so excited about something.

 

I rested my head on his shoulder and played with the end of the new ribbon I had tied on his wrist.

 

“I will give you as much as you want, so always take care of yourself, okay?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

“You do realize, don’t you? You’re not alone. You have a wife and a son to take care of.”

 

“Of course I do. How could I forget? For me…”

 

His voice was smaller than the sound of a window-rattling in the wind, so I couldn’t hear it well.

 

But I could guess what he said, so I didn’t bother to ask.

 * * *