Homestar Saga

Lissa was waiting when Yvian exited the pod. Even better, she brought beer.

"So..." she drawled as Yvian took a swig. "There's a chunk of crystal in your head. That's weird."

That was weird, but Yvian had a more pressing concern. "Is he...?"

"Stable," Lissa assured her. "The med pod's doing its thing." She frowned. "I've never seen him get hurt like that. I kinda thought he was invincible, you know?"

"Me too." Yvian took another drink. "Then again, a whole team of Xill was too afraid to fight the thing that got him. It's not like he got beat by some chump pirate or something."

"About that," Lissa asked. "What The Crunch happened in there?"

Yvian hadn't been able to explain anything after getting Mims to a med pod. She'd just plugged her armor connection into Lissa's GR17 so her sister could see her crushed throat and broken spine on the HUD. Then she'd crawled into a med pod of her own.

She relayed the story. Lissa asked questions, here and there. When the story was finished, she remarked, "Well, that explains the rock in your brain."

"What?" Yvian had forgotten about that. "What kind of rock?"

"Some kind of crystal." Lissa shrugged. "It's in your brain stem. From what I can tell, it's merged with your cerebellum a little. The med pod treated it like your translator implants. Left it alone. Do you feel any different? Any trouble moving?"

Yvian felt the back of her head. It didn't feel any different. She wiggled her fingers. Wiggled her toes. "Not really," she said.

"Then we'll assume it's beneficial, for now," Lissa drank more beer. "I'm guessing it's how the dead guys were controlling their tech. If anything starts to feel weird let me know."

"I will," Yvian drank. "I wonder why the guardian did that?"

"I dunno," Lissa drank. "Maybe cause it saw you fighting the Xill? Speaking of, how in fuck were you able to kill three Xill? I mean, if they're ground units are anything like their ships..."

"It was the armor," Yvian told her. "The GR17. Between that and the weapons I outclassed them. If I'd been using Confed gear I'd be dead. Even a mechsuit."

"Yeah, Terran tech is seriously advanced." Lissa finished her beer and pulled another from the little cooler she'd brought. "I mean, just look at this ship."

"The Encounter?" Yvian blinked in surprise. "I thought this was a Confed vessel. Custom build, maybe, but Terran?"

"It's built to look like a Confed ship," Lissa said. "And it's using Confed weapons, but it's definitely a Federation build. The engine puts out enough juice to power a frigate. The sensor suite's almost as good as your old ship, and takes up a third of the space. It's got omnidirectional movement at full speed, and a bunch of add ons our shipwrights would give their firstborn to get their hands on. The missile defense beam turrets alone, Crunch."

"Hmm," Yvian got another beer. "I thought the Federation was under blockade. Do you think he's still trading with them?"

"Of course he is, you dink," Lissa waggled her bottle. "Where do you think the beer comes from?"

Yvian had been in the pod for nine hours. Mims was in for five days. When he finally emerged, the sisters were waiting.

"We baked you a cake," said Yvian. She handed him a piece.

He stared at them, his expression unreadable. Finally he said, "No food in the medbay." He took his plate and walked to the kitchen.

The sisters looked at each other. "Huh," grunted Lissa. "Do you think he's grumpy that he got his ass kicked?"

"No," Yvian said. "I think he's always been like that."

"He's weird about the food thing." Lissa picked up the plates and silverware.

"He really is." Yvian picked up the cake.

They followed the human to the kitchen. He'd poured himself a tall glass of milk. "You know," Lissa remarked, "I seem to remember you sending me to the medbay with a lasagna not that long ago."

"I didn't send you to the medbay," Mims muttered through a mouthful of cake. "You were supposed to bring Yvian to the kitchen." He washed it down with some milk.

"Oh." Lissa set the plates down at the table. "Uh, Sorry."

The Captain looked up at the nervous hitch in her voice. He glanced from Lissa to Yvian. He looked down at his plate, thinking. After a moment he asked, "Who made this?"

"We made it together," Lissa told him. "Wasn't that hard."

The Captain nodded, trying for a friendlier expression. "Thank you. It's a... nice gesture." He took another bite. He swallowed. "Sorry if I'm coming of a little, uh..."

"Grumpy?" Lissa suggested.

"Ungrateful?" Yvian added.

"Kind of a dick?" Lissa threw in.

"I was gonna say standoffish." Mims swallowed another bite. "I'm...I've been alone for a long time. Having friends is...strange." His face twisted up a little. "Makes me awkward."

The girls stared at him. The human kept his eyes on his plate, eating mechanically. Yvian might have expected Mims to be grumpy over almost dying. She wouldn't have been surprised if his pride had been hurt. The idea that he'd become emotionally vulnerable in the face of their friendly gesture had not occurred to her. Now that she knew, she didn't know what to do about it.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Lissa came up with something. "You're a weird guy, Mark."

A hint of a smile ghosted across his features. "Probably."

Tension broken, the girls sat down. Yvian cut herself a slice of cake. She took a forkful to her mouth, eyes closing in prediction of pleasure. They snapped open as she spat out the bite she'd took. "What the Crunch?" she exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" Lissa asked. She took a bite of her own and spat it out. "Ugh. This cake is terrible."

Mims manfully swallowed the last bite of his slice. "It really is."

Mims made burgers and fries. They broke out the beer. The girls filled him in on how they'd landed the ship and got him into a med pod. He asked a few questions, but mostly listened, nodding along as they took turns speaking. When they'd finished, he raised his bottle towards them.

"You make me proud," the Captain announced. "Real proud. Both of you. I don't think any other privateer could've done better. Not even me." The girls raised their bottles in return, and they all took a swig. Mims continued, "You saved my life. I won't forget it."

Yvian felt her face heat up as she smiled. Was she blushing? She decided it didn't matter. The Captain was a stern judge, and sparing with his compliments. She was startled at the impact this level of praise had on her. Startled, and very pleased.

Lissa was grinning as well. "That makes us even, I guess." Her grin widened, becoming more mischievous. "Though Yvian's still a few saves behind."

The human grunted. "No point in keeping score once you've made that trade. You've saved my life and I've saved yours. That's what matters."

"So..." Lissa segued. "I've been meaning to ask. What's with the food thing?" Mims raised a questioning eyebrow. "Why do we always have to eat here?" she clarified. "You know the cleaning droids clean the whole ship. It's not like you have to worry about crumbs."

"Food belongs in the kitchen." Mims shrugged. "That's what Callie always said."

"Who's Callie?"

A flash of emotion tore through the human's face as Lissa said the name. It disappeared as fast as it came, leaving the calm slightly serious expression he wore by default. Yvian couldn't quite make out what it had been. She almost wondered if she'd imagined it. "Somebody I used to know," he said casually. Too casually. He changed the subject. "So, what have you two been doing since you dropped me in the pod?"

"Scanning stuff, mostly," said Lissa. "We can't get a good reading of the crystal ships. I messed around with some samples Yvian retrieved. The stuff seems to absorb energy. On the other hand, we've got a pretty thorough scan of the sector, now. The Gate we came through's in the nav console, so we can jump straight into the system if we decide to come back. There used to be two other Jumpgates, but something turned them into debris."

"What about the anti-tech field," Mims asked.

Lissa shrugged. "Scanners aren't picking it up. We can't see what's holding all the ships in place, either. Whatever force they're using, it's not one our sensors can measure.

"I've been exploring," Yvian volunteered. "I've mapped out a bunch of the ship, picked up some samples and a couple of the weapons the crystal makers use. They'll work for me, but not for Lissa. I've run into the crystal guardians a few times, but they've been leaving me alone since they gave me that crystal implant. I also got into one of the ships in the hangar, but I stopped short of trying to fly it. If something went wrong the Encounter wouldn't be able to come help without killing you."

"Good call," said Mims. "Where are we on the sample project?"

"The drone's ready to go," Lissa reported. "The Xill canister's attached, and the remote control's simple enough the anti-tech field won't stop it. We can retrieve a sample at any time."

"Good." He turned to Yvian. "Now that we can move again, I want you to see about flying one of those ships. If you can make it work, we'll take it with us. We'll need to grab the remains of one of the builders, too. I want a sample of their control implants."

"Are we sure we want to do that?" Yvian asked. "If we bring it through the Gate the Xill are gonna take it from us."

"We're bringing it for them," Mims explained. "That's why I want an implant that isn't attached to my crew. We can come back later to get a ship of our own." He finished his beer and set it down. Lissa offered him another bottle but he smiled and shook his head.

"That's a little above and beyond what they asked us to do, you know," Lissa remarked. "They just sent us here to get a sample of the Vore."

"Above and beyond is what we're going for," Mims told her. "The survival of our species depend on it."

"Why?" Yvian felt her brow furrow. "What makes us so important?"

"Think about it." The Captain gestured with his empty bottle. "The Xill weren't expecting us. We dropped into their lap by mistake. And they just sent us on a suicide mission to retrieve a sample in a sector that had killed everything they sent into it. We're a convenient, expendable opportunity. We're not part of their plan."

"So?" Lissa asked. "That's not good for us, but I don't see how that puts the Federation in danger, or the Confed, for that matter."

"Look around," Mims gestured. "These crystal builder people built a weapon to stop the Vore. Now they're all dead, and it was the Xill that killed them. Exodus told us they don't have the resources to stop the Vore on their own, and the Xill aren't known for trading with organics. How do you think they plan to get what they need?"

"You think they're going to conquer the Federation," Yvian guessed. "Enslave the humans and make them help."

"It fits the pattern," he noted. "Especially when Exodus is part of the team. They'll take the Confed, too, if they think it'll help. We need to convince them there's a more efficient way."

"An alliance," Lissa guessed. "You want the Xill to work with the humans directly."

"What's stopping them from stabbing us in the back as soon as they get what they want?" Yvian wondered. "There's a good chance they were friends with the crystal people at one point."

The Captain shrugged. "One problem at a time." He stood and placed his bottle in the trash receptacle. "Anyway, that's enough planning for today. We'll get some sleep and get back to work in the morning."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Lissa said as she tossed her bottle. "Sleep, I mean."

"Hmm?" Mims hmmed questioningly.

"You and me have a conversation coming," she informed him, eyes fierce. "I was willing to wait while we were in immediate danger. I had to wait while you were in the med pod. I'm not waiting anymore. We are going," she pointed at him, "to have this out."

"Have what out?" Mims asked, confused. Yvian tried not to giggle at his sudden nervousness. She'd known a reckoning was coming. He clearly didn't have a clue. "I don't-"

"No no, no," Yvian got between them. "Wait." Her lips twitched and she had to stop for a moment to hold in her amusement. Lissa glowered at her. Mims still looked confused. "You're not doing this in the kitchen. Your quarters are soundproofed. Pick a room and do it there."

"Fine," Lissa huffed. "Come on, Mark." She latched onto his wrist and pulled him along as she stalked out of the kitchen. Mims gave Yvian a very confused look as he was led away.

Yvian held it in for as long as she could. It wasn't very long. Howls of laughter followed the couple as they made their way down the hall.

Lissa yelled, "Shut up, Sis!" It only made Yvian laugh harder.

When she finally calmed down, Yvian decided to relax with one last beer before she want to bed. She had time. She knew them both, and while she was pretty sure things would work out for the best, she was absolutely certain the human wouldn't get much sleep tonight.

She was betting tomorrow would be a late start.