Homestar Saga

Yvian didn't understand the Captain's hasty instructions, but the first wave of Vrrl ships started their jumpdrives before he finished speaking. Either Warmaster Scathach knew something she didn't, or his faith in the Scargiver was stronger than she thought.

"First wave deployed," Kilroy reported. Two million Vrrl ships disappeared in a flash of blue light. "Second wave deploying in twenty four seconds."

"Let's hope it's enough," said Mims.

"How can it be enough?" asked Lissa. "There are three hundred million ships firing on the Queens right now. They'll be dead before the Vrrl get there."

"Negative," said Kilroy. "This unit estimates the Peacekeeper Queenships can survive up to six minutes of sustained fire."

Yvian blinked. "They can?" She knew the Queens were tough, but...

"The meatbags are using outdated technology," Kilroy explained. "Sixty three percent of their weapons are ineffective."

"They must be using the Stockpile," Mims realized. "The emergency reserve. Some of those ships are five hundred years old."

"Affirmative."

"So... what?" Lissa asked. "Their guns are too old?"

"Not exactly." Mims was staring intently at the holodisplay. "Up until the second Vrrl war, Federation Capital ships all used some variation of Point Singularity Projector."

"Singularity?" Lissa's brows went up. "You mean black holes?"

"That was the original idea, but they couldn't make it work." Mims scratched the back of his helmet. "What they ended up with was almost as good. Fast, powerful, and versatile as hell. The projectiles could be set for all kinds of effects, from plasma and ion to gravity distortions and molecular disruption."

"They were devastating weapons," said Scarrend, "until we learned their weakness. The effect happens on impact, regardless of what it hits."

"Means they can be shot down," Mims agreed. "Nearly cost us the war. After that we switched to Photon Pulse Cannons. Not as destructive, but a lot harder to stop. With our Stingers filling the space around the Queens with charged particles, PSPs are basically useless." Something about the set of his shoulders told Yvian he was worried. More worried than he'd been before.

"First wave is entering Aldara Sector," Kilroy reported. "Second wave deployed. Third wave deploying in twenty two seconds."

Yvian leaned in, peering at the holodisplay. She focused on the East Gate. Three hundred million Federation capital ships formed a dome roughly fifteen thousand kilometers from the Gate. Another two hundred million fighter class vessels had launched from carriers. A near unfathomable amount of firepower rained down at the Peacekeeper ships, but the enemy was so far away the first shots were only now making impact.

Two million ships of the Vrrl Starfang Empire were sliding out of the Gate. It would take them twenty to sixty seconds to emerge completely, but the Vrrl weren't about to wait. Roarcannons blasted columns of concentrated ion. Hundreds of millions of turrets and cannons fired in all directions. It was as if the Vrrl were trying to shoot every Federation ship at once.

"They're doing what you said," Yvian remarked.

"Shooting fucking everything?" Mims bobbed his head slightly. "Good."

"They're not gonna do any damage that way," Lissa pointed out.

"They're not going to do damage anyway," said Scarrend. "At that range, dodging even our Roarcannons is a trivial matter."

"They don't have to," said Mims. "The AI controlling each ship will prioritize whoever's shooting at it. If we can get most of them shooting at the Vrrl it'll take the pressure off our Queens."

"That seems awfully limited for human tech," said Lissa.

"Intentionally so," said Mims. "The Federation's paranoid about AI in general. They keep autopilot basic and for emergency use only."

The Stinger units shifted their cones of fire, opening large sections of space for the Vrrl. The ships of the Starfang Empire poured into that space, firing wildly at their distant opponents. Most of the Federation ships switched targets, ignoring the Queens in favor of the Vrrl who were firing at them.

"You were right," said Yvian. The Peacekeeper Queenships had all lost more than half their shielding. The shots the humans had already fired would still rain down on them for another two minutes, but Yvian suspected they would survive.

"I don't like it." Mims stroked the chin of his helmet. "Doesn't make any sense."

"The humans have underestimated us," said Scarrend. "They're not the first to do so."

"No." Mims shook his head. "This is sloppy. Stellar Defense doesn't do sloppy. Something's wrong."

The Captain's tension was infectious. Yvian felt her legs clench. She stared at the display, trying to think. What was wrong? What were they missing?

"Where are the humans?" Scarrend spoke up. Yvian looked askance at him. "Their Military fleets. Their piloted ships. Where are they?"

"Good question," said Mims. He turned to Kilroy. "Can you have a couple Stingers break off from the Queens? We need to see what's behind the Gates."

The Peacekeeper's eyes flashed red. "Affirmative."

"Thank you." Mims brought up the Vrrl Nexus Network and sent a chat request. "And scan the Sector again. We're missing something."

After a few moments, Warmaster Sithis accepted his chat. "This is Sithis. What do you want, human?"

"Anything going on in your space?" Mims asked. "Anything unusual?"

"No," said the Warmaster. "Why? What is happening with the attack?"

"Aldara's full of old ships on autopilot," the Captain explained, "but we don't know where their main fleets are."

"I smell." Sithis gave a thoughtful growl. "We're already on the hunt, but I'll increase our alertness as much as I can. Be careful, human. Your kind are cunning and dangerous foes."

"I know it. Keep your guard up, and let me know if anything happens. Mims out." The Captain closed the connection.

"Scan complete," Kilroy reported. His eyes blinked between red and purple. "Big Daddy Mims, there are no humans in Aldara Sector."

The Captain froze. "What?"

"Peacekeeper units have analyzed the life signs on the stations and planet. They are falsified signals." The Peacekeeper unit switched to a steady purple glow. "The ships patrolling the sector have falsified life signs as well."

Mims swore. "Can we see what's behind the Gates, yet?"

"Negative," said the Peacekeeper.

"How long-" Mims started to ask.

"Affirmative," said the Peacekeeper. His eyes went back to crimson. "Alert. Ships detected behind East Gate. One Juggernaut class Dreadnaught. Four Judgement class destroyers. Eighteen Ronin class Battlecruisers. Thirty three YEET class Artillery Barges. Ninety two Gladiator class fighters. A fleet of the same composition is behind the North Gate as well."

"Manned?" asked Mims.

"Affirmative," said Kilroy. "These appear to be the only humans in the Sector."

"What could they hope to accomplish with such a small force?" Scarrend wondered. "A contingency, perhaps? To destroy the Gate?"

"Or an ambush," Mims guessed. "Just enough ships so we can't kill them all before they get off some YEET rounds. Good way to take out a Queenship or ten."

"No it isn't," Lissa argued. "The YEETs are useless as long as we've got those Stingers covering us."

"Maybe they didn't know that, though." Some of the tension slid out of the man's shoulders. "Maybe Reba didn't tell them anything." Mims gestured at the holodisplay. "This setup would have been ideal for taking us on before we modified the Stingers. They would've smashed our entire attack force, and all it would've cost was some old spare ships and maybe a couple hundred pilots."

"The entire sector is a trap," Scarrend guessed. "High Commander Young was expecting us."

"Yeah." The Captain was grim. "And he cleared out all the people and probably anything we could use in case we had shit he wasn't ready for."

"Which we did," Lissa added.

"The bastard's probably watching this right now," Mims put his hands on his hips. "He's seeing what we've got."

"Good," said Scarrend. "It will teach him fear."

"The meatbags behind the Gates have activated their jumpdrives," Kilroy reported.

"Guess they spotted us spotting them." The Captain gave a small sigh. "ok, then. How are the Vrrl doing?"

"One thousand four hundred and three ships have been destroyed," said the machine. "The first wave will be jumping out of the system in forty three seconds."

Yvian zeroed in on the display. The leading Vrrl were almost at the end of the space the Stingers had opened up. The distance between them and the Federation fleet should have made dodging easy, but none of the Empire ships were unscathed. Too many guns from too many directions, she supposed. Still, most of them had shields. Losses were pretty light, all things considered.

The Queenships were still taking fire, but much less than they had been. Only a few thousand of the automated vessels were still targeting them, and that number was dwindling rapidly as high powered beam weapons took their toll. The Peacekeeper ships were low on shields, one as low as eight percent, but Yvian thought they would pull through. Probably.

"Well," Lissa took off her helmet. "At least we're winning." She brushed a few stray hairs back behind her ear and scratched her cheek before putting the helmet back on.

"Yeah." Mims didn't sound enthused. "I guess."

The first wave jumped back to Metalfang Sector just as the ninth wave joined the fray. The Vrrl kept shooting at the Federation, and the automated ships kept shooting back at the Vrrl. Through it all, the Peacekeeper Queens kept swatting vessel after vessel out of the sky.

"It must be frustrating," Scarrend mused. "Throwing everything we have at those ships, knowing our fangs will not reach them. Forced to be a distraction and nothing more." He clasped all four hands behind his back. "How long will our Hunters have to do this?"

"Until we've taken out everything with a Photon Pulse cannon," said Mims, "and all the fighters, too. Hours. Maybe days."

Scarrend gave a displeased grunt followed by a grudging nod.

"We could just leave," Lissa suggested. "The Queenships will be out of the Gate Effect in another twenty minutes, and we could jump them again."

"And leave a billion human ships at our back?" Scarrend scoffed. "No. The Scargiver is right. We must slay them here if we can." He growled. "But our Hunters will not be pleased. And there will be no meat. Again."

"Aren't you growing human meat now?" Yvian asked.

"We are," the Vrrl allowed. "It is... adequate... but there's no substitute for live prey." He tilted his head at Mims. "It also makes the Scargiver smell more and more like food."

"Is that..." Mims shifted. Yvian guessed he was frowning. "Is that why you were drooling during our last training session?"

"I was not," growled the Vrrl, "drooling."

"You definitely were," said Yvian.

"I wasn't." Scarrend was firm. He removed his helmet, all three of his eyes boring into Yvian. "I am of the Fifth Mafdet. I. Do not. Drool."

"Alright, alright." Yvian raised her hands in surrender. Her helmet hid her smile. "If you say so."

"We'll find a way to make it up to your Hunters," Lissa changed the subject. "Maybe let them blow up the stations once we clear out the fleets."

"That will help," said the Vrrl, "but what we really need is a successful raid. A big one."

"We'll see what we can do," said Mims. He looked around the bridge, then back at the holodisplay. "Damn it. Now I want a beer."

"We could always move to the Command Center," Lissa suggested.

"Or you could relax for once and I'll brings us some beers right here," Yvian offered.

"No." Mims reached for his helmet, then let his hand drop. "No. We have to be ready. The Federation could launch a counterattack any moment."

Scarrend regarded the human, then grunted. "You don't think they will."

"No, I don't," Mims admitted. "We have to be ready anyway."

"I suppose we do," The Vrrl grimaced, then put his helmet back on. "It's as Warmaster Sithis said. Humans are cunning and dangerous."

"They can't be that smart," said Yvian.

She received a lot of dubious looks, but it was the Captain that asked. "Why not?"

"Look." She pointed at the holodisplay. Planet Aldara hung like a ripe fruit in the void. Its defenses were active, and it was surrounded by beam towers and weapons platforms. Yvian guessed it would take the Peacekeeper Queens about half an hour to destroy them all. "Look! They basically gave their planet away."