Hobbyist VTuber

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Haeun still wasn’t quite sure how her acting felt to those beyond the cinema screen.

But she could confidently say that she had done her best in portraying Kim Jia.

And she thought that was enough.

The reason Haeun filmed the neighbor uncle was solely for the “experience of shooting a film,” not to gain immense fame and popularity.

As a result, her neighbor uncle recorded box office results even higher than Haeun had remembered.

Of course, this made her happy.

There is no clearer indicator of a film’s quality than the number of viewers.

The relief that her efforts were not futile.

For Haeun, who had never taken a proper acting class, that relief alone was enough to feel satisfied.

Yeah, she probably hadn’t expected more than that.

She had thought it was greedy to hope for something more from her unrefined acting.

“Haeun, about the Korean Film Awards… have you prepared an acceptance speech?”

As if it were a matter of course for Haeun to win an award.

As if it were obvious for her to surpass other nominated actors.

“…It’s not confirmed yet, you know.”

“You’ve already come here looking like someone who’s going to win.”

And then, there was Kang Sunwoo’s voice, adding that it was the first time he was amazed by the appearance of a child actor today.

Even Haeun could see that her current appearance was the most beautiful she had ever seen in herself.

However, aside from that, the situation of riding in the same limousine as Kang Sunwoo heading to the awards ceremony felt strange.

It was like going to an uninvited party.

Of course, objectively speaking, it was not unusual for Haeun to be invited to the ceremony.

After all, the most successful film of the year was “Neighbor Uncle,” and Haeun, being the main role, had more than enough reason to participate in the awards.

However, winning an award as an actor was a different story.

Even at this moment, she couldn’t be sure if she was a good enough actress to deserve an award.

Most of her previous performances had originated from the memories of her past life.

In order to portray Kim Jia, who was suffering even from her only blood relative, her mother, she had forcibly drawn out painful memories one by one.

If Kim Jia had been even slightly happier…

If she had been a bit brighter, would she have received the same evaluation?

No, could she have even been cast as Kim Jia in the first place?

No matter how much she thought about it, Haeun felt she had just been lucky.

Yes, she had been fortunate enough to already experience countless moments similar to Kim Jia.

That alone had allowed Haeun’s acting to embody Kim Jia well.

In a way, it was only natural since other child actors like Min Dayeon had probably never experienced anything like Kim Jia.

“Okay, hold onto the uncle’s hand. Step down slowly.”

Even until the moment she carefully grabbed Kang Sunwoo’s hand, which was offered for escorting…

And even after she walked down the long red carpet alongside him and finally entered the awards venue…

She couldn’t confidently say that she was an actress deserving of the award she was nominated for.

She thought she had come here because of luck—because of a series of coincidences.

To bring joy to people.

Or perhaps, unlike other actors who had entered acting purely for the joy of performing, it had begun as something she had to do just to survive.

Simply putting on a facade forced upon her by her past life parents.

Did this flawed beginning really deserve an award?

*i>‘Even if I’m dizzy inside, I must keep smiling on the outside.’
*i>‘Even if breathing is hard, my voice must remain calm.’

The countless whispers she had said to herself while curled up in the dark corner of a hospital room.

Every single one of them strange and unsightly, artificial things.

“Oh, Haeun. Are you unwell?”

“No, it’s just… it feels like there are only shining people everywhere I look. I think I’ve unconsciously felt a bit intimidated.”

She thought the acting of those star-like actors who naturally captivated people’s attention was different from her own.

Her own acting, born from a deep and dark swamp with no brilliant starlight to be found.

Mediocre performances that only evoked pity and sympathy in those who faced her.

“You shine enough, Haeun. Have some confidence.”

“Thanks for saying that, even if it’s just words.”

“It’s sincere.”

So, she thought that many adult actresses nominated for the same award as Haeun, the ones who presented the “real” performances that people idealized, couldn’t be evaluated on the same level as Haeun.

She believed her acting, which merely reenacted painfully bittersweet memories, was merely a way to convey what misfortune was.

Furthermore, the one who should receive recognition and applause was Kim Jia—not “child actress Lee Haeun.”

Despite having received the love of those who could truly be called parents for a full seven years now…

The evaluation of the value of the “self” she had hidden away deep below from long ago remained excessively harsh.

After all, she had always thought of herself as worthless.

She had lived her life thinking of herself as someone else’s burden, shackles, obstacle, or hindrance.

A person whose very existence was a nuisance to others.

The dry perception of herself, firmly rooted unconsciously by wrong parents, still held onto Haeun’s ankles.

But soon after that…

“Next, we have the Best New Actress Award. Truly beautiful candidates…”

Such evaluations that stood in stark contrast to Haeun’s thoughts.

“…The winner of the 8th Korean Film Awards, Best New Actress is—Congratulations. Neighbor Uncle, Lee Haeun!”

“Best New Actress: Lee Haeun of ‘Neighbor Uncle'”

The moment her name appeared on the massive screen of the awards ceremony with the high-pitched voice of the famous actress moderating.

-Click.

The countless lights in the award venue, gradually converging upon Haeun.

Finally made shine upon someone who had long concluded she could never shine.

“Go on, Haeun. Don’t be intimidated. Walk confidently.”

With the encouragement of someone shining brighter than anyone Haeun had ever seen.

She could only finally step onto the stage.

In that surreal moment, filled with numerous stars, including Kang Sunwoo, all looking solely at Haeun.

As if before a scene akin to the Milky Way in the night sky, Haeun said:

“I will become a person deserving of the award you have given me…”

She barely managed to spit out a single line squeezed out from the depths of a murky swamp.

Not that she hadn’t prepared an acceptance speech beforehand.

But the emotions she felt now were types of emotions she had never experienced before.

They were things she couldn’t even dare to imagine would belong to her in her dreary past life.

Above all, this dreamlike scene was something Haeun had never experienced even once before.

It left Haeun unsure of what kind of expression she should wear.

After all, those in her memories had never taught her what kind of expression to show when happy.

They had never forced or instilled such things in her.

-Tap.

-Drip, tap.

Thus, by this point, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Were Haeun’s genuine feelings shown for the first time without any intention behind them.

Pure emotions untainted by anyone else’s oppression.

Those feelings that Haeun herself was not even aware of momentarily halted when the slightly flustered host called her name.

“Now, Haeun. Please take a deep breath, and if you have any last words, feel free to share them.”

So, catching her breath after the brief disturbance.

When she met the eyes of Kang Sunwoo, who was looking at her with a warm smile as always, she finally opened her mouth.

“To those who are going through hard times for their own reasons… I hope strong uncles like Jin Gang-sik take notice. …Thank you.”

Words she had wanted to say to her past self.

At the same time, words she had wanted to hear from her past self.

An applause poured out like thunder once more.

Afterward, still holding the golden trophy carefully, the applause did not cease until she returned to sit next to Kang Sunwoo.

No surprise, the emotional turmoil she still felt.

It was a sensation that was still strange, awkward, and bewildering.

Yet, for some reason, she sensed that it was a feeling she didn’t have to forcefully hold back or suppress.

“Hey, Kang Sunwoo… no, Sunwoo uncle. I have one thing I hope you could advise me on—”

For the first time seeking someone’s help for the newly formed dream.

The conversation continued with nothing but sincerity for quite a while.

After time passed, even after the awards ceremony had completely ended.

At a late-night fast-food joint, the conversation concluded.

“If you want to learn, go ahead and learn, and if you want to do both, then do both. It’s not like you’re causing any trouble for anyone, right?”

With a relatively short and straightforward statement, the conversation was wrapped up despite the lengthy time spent.

Yet the conviction that filled Haeun’s heart.

And so, at the moment of parting from Kang Sunwoo.

“Um, Uncle Sunwoo.”

Taking a moment to hold onto someone she believed would not appear on screen again for a long time, she asked.

“How are you going to live from now on?”

Sunwoo, who pondered for a moment with a serious expression, finally responded.

“Hmm… I think I’ll go on the trips I’ve put off, read the books I wanted to read. I’ll probably live doing what I want to do.”

A reply that perfectly suited the Kang Sunwoo Haeun knew.

Still, she felt a sense of sadness at the thought that she would never see that shining person again.

“I hope you continue in acting.”

“I didn’t say anything about retiring, though?”

“Still, you never know.”

She made a promise, even pinky-swearing, though it felt uncharacteristic.

That they would meet again in front of a camera someday.

After that, a vague promise was formed without any coercion.

Time, which had never once stopped, began to flow swiftly once more.

However, the casting offers that literally flooded toward Haeun, who had just grabbed an award for her debut film.

“Thank you for the great offer, but Haeun is very resolute…”

Were almost all flatly rejected except for CFs or public service ads, which generally had shorter filming periods than films or dramas.

This was because she hadn’t felt adequately prepared yet and wanted to enjoy her ordinary school life a little longer.

Thus, it had been exactly three and a half years since Haeun had initially recognized her own value.

The morning destination had also changed from kindergarten to elementary school.

Haeun’s life, which had only revolved around singing lessons with Doubly, had seen many changes.

Among them, the significant portion had come from:

‘Hmm, with a talent like this, perhaps there’s no need for acting lessons?’
‘Thank you for the kind words, but I’m still very lacking.’

Acting lessons at an academy under a contract with Luna Entertainment.

For some reason, she couldn’t get close to the other child actors who were already taking acting lessons at Luna Entertainment.

However, Haeun didn’t mind as long as she could learn acting.

Consequently, her days had become quite busy.

But after all, since her busy days were due to her own will, it didn’t really matter much.

However, among all the elements that constituted Haeun’s life, there had been one single thing completely outside of her will.

“Hey, Lee Haeun, you’re going for the <My Love From the Star> child audition this time, too?”

“…Yeah.”

No, just one person.

“Didn’t you say you weren’t ready and kept turning down casting calls, why suddenly now?”

“I thought I’d check how prepared I am, that’s all…”

“What? Check just to check? You’re using the audition that others are desperate to get into just for your own checkup?”

That kind of thought only made Haeun’s already busy life even more hectic and noisy.

“…I’ll do my best.”

“Seriously? Why act like it’s such a momentous thing to say obvious stuff.”

Many feelings tangled up within her.

Yet, she couldn’t ignore Min Dayeon as there were a few things on her mind.

Ever since that day they accidentally ran into each other in the hallway until this moment.

She had literally been stuck to Min Dayeon, who was hungry to gobble her up.

Well, technically, Dayeon was the only one at her elementary school with whom she could share her entertainment industry life.

“Anyway, I’ll go for the [My Love From the Star] audition, so don’t you go. You stick to your great preparation.”

“Hmm… Are you scared you might get rejected again?”

“What?! Who’s scared?!”

Anyway, every time she provoked Min Dayeon like this, the reactions she displayed were a little bit fun.

No, they were quite entertaining.

A friend.

Or, perhaps, a frenemy.

No matter how her relationship with Min Dayeon was defined, it seemed better to keep the connection going rather than let it sever.

Though Min Dayeon herself didn’t seem to think that way.